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The recent incident which has attracted international coverage between international performing artistes Rihanna and Chris Brown has given a prominent face to the scourge of domestic violence (DV). While we agree that DV is endemic in all countries and carves across race, colour, creed and even sex, sometimes it helps when famous people fall victim because of the attention it attracts.

Reports we have read suggest that both Rihanna and Chris Brown were members of households where they witnessed domestic violence. Psychiatrists often share the view that DV begets DV and it requires a strong will and sometimes professional help for victims to break the cycle. Rumours have been rife since last year that this is not the first time Rihanna and Brown would have resorted to embarrassing displays of behaviour in public when attempting to reconcile disagreements.

Yesterday’s press has reported that Rihanna will be making a public statement soon. There was a hint in the report that Rihanna will be speaking directly to the issue of DV. If she does BU believes that this is a big positive that would have come out of the sordid episode. Rihanna as a poster girl or should we say spokesperson for DV would go a long way towards raising the awareness level to this malady which afflicts all communities.

To paint a picture of the current level of DV in Barbados we thought we would post statistics, unfortunately we have not been able to find an authoritative source on the Internet. Even so the recurring comment about DV in Barbados is that known statistics are grossly understated. Many women it seems endure DV in silence. Mr. Ralph Boyce who heads up the MESA (forum to highlight the concerns of men) suggests that we have men who endure in silence as well. There is agreement though that women carry the burden of DV.

Of note is the knowledge that many of our social and support services are ill-equipped to adequately deal with DV. The police especially often treats DV reports as nuisance calls or alternatively with a heavy hand. The parties caught up in the cycle of DV require professional help.

As people who are not perfect, we expect that as communities we will have to battle with our imperfections until the end of time. Until that time comes we have to continue to educate our people about the implications of DV to sustaining a wholesome society.

To BU family members, when ever you suspect DV is present please ACT!


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  1. Well, they say that Guyanese ladies know how to treat their man well!! Well, I in asking nuh questions!! Hear no lies!!

    Love u loads, Sister Baby et al!!


  2. She wore a raspberry beret
    The kind u buy from a second hand store
    Raspberry beret
    I think I loveeeeeeeee u!!

    This song keeps spinning round in my head dis morning! I wonder if any ugh wunna here either clever enough or young enuf to know wha song dah is?!!


  3. the song ringing in my head is FULAMA DING DING DING, I see some people want the words to this song in English. I would like Rihanna to do this song in Sranantongo, and I am sure she will make it a hit in America. Hi 199 how are you, or as it is said in SURINAME Fa yuh tan? from Sister Baby


  4. 199,
    I can’t help but luv you and I doan kno’ if ta laff or cry.
    You are a trip.
    “she wore a raspberry beret’
    Dah sound like a Dean Martin or Perry Como,Bing Cosby sorta song.


  5. Pat,
    ‘you go girl ha ha ha’.
    I gine Pat, I gine. But whay ya want ma ta go doe? (teehee)

    Hopi
    ‘Queenam, are you a man or ……..’
    Ya mek ma cry wid dat. Ya wicked but a still luvs ya bad. Ya is keep it real real.


  6. 1999 IT IS SISTER BABY THAT TOLD YOU RIHANNA’S MUM’S NAME IS MONICA. SISTER COME FROM THE SAME SECTION OF GUYANA AS THE FAMILY. BONNY IS A BARBAIDIAN WHO HAS NEVER SET FOOTS ON GUYANESE SOIL, HOWEVER, SISTER BABY HAS SAT ON A PLANE ON BARBADOS SOIL.


  7. Anonymous
    I travel compliments of you, so you would know where I go and when I go. You forget?
    Wid all dese million GTbanna flooding bout hay like flies pun shit, dem homeland can’t be too enticing.
    It might surprise you to learn that her two uncles Lester and Leslie are pretty close to my family. We exchange hugs and kisses whenever we meet up, ya clown. Her granny visits my family in NY. that is how I know that de girl is a spoil brat. Ya clown. Ga long, de circus looking fa you.


  8. @reluctant nonbeliever……you back spewing whitey’s crap. In your little black pea brain it’s impossible for Blacks to conceive of such music? Did I mention anything of Beethoven, I said it came from the MOORS! But then why should I heed someone who doesn’t know himself anyway?


  9. Well guys, I think you’re digressing, don’t you think? It’s about violence between Rihanna and Chris Brown and I don’t think that such pointless comments are really useful!
    It’s hard enough for her (and maybe also for him) that they weren’t treated well and the press will pursue them by every step they do.. So we have to wait what Rihanna or Chris will tell us by themselves!


  10. Alright Bonny, Are are you a Barbadian of Guyanese parentage? LOL It would appear so, from the Prime Minister down to Bonny Pepper. Oh my LOL


  11. Hi Sis Baby et al, thanks for the info about Rihanna’s Mum! I did do a search but only found one or two not very distinct pics! However, she did n’t look too bad to me at all!! My fantasy would be to be serenaded by Rihanna while smooching with Mum but, I don’t think Ronald would be too happy ’bout that!!

    Lord!!

    Sis Baby, what song is that ‘Fulama etc’?!! Is it a big hit in Guyana or Surinam? Please shed further light on it!!

    Hi Bonny, thanks and your love is reciprocated!! No sugar, the song’s not by Sinatra or any of those guys! Was a huge hit about 20 yrs ago for another American, music-genius, rather like Rihanna, but, this time, a guy!!

    $10BDS for the first person to get it right!! Gosh, I’ve given u enuf tips!! An Technician in allowed to enter cause he would google it!! I know he!!

    Anonymous, thank you for the correction but I think u suffered some licks afterwards from Bonny for being suh presumtuous about knowing whay she bin from way she aint bin!!

    Lor!!

    Yuh must n’t b so presumptuous, Anon!!

    Dat’s a wicked telling-off Bonny!! I doan know dat I could do suh good!!

    Laaaaaaaadddddddddddddd!!!!

    Well, Hopi, I doan know what MOORS u blinkin tauking bout eider an I in sure dat u do, so ‘reluctant believer’, in d only one who does n’t know wha u talking bout!!

    Bonny, I’ve got to think twice before criticising the Guyanese in Bim because I remember when we, west indians, must have seemed so numerous to be ‘like flies’, here, to the English but now, they’ve got so many different people here of all nationalities that they don’t concentrate on us quite so much as before, at least, not in that regard!!

    I hope the PM can find an equitable solution to this immigration problem. Of course, the recession has only gone and complicated matters, even further!!

    One hardly, knows what to do!!


  12. Sister Baby/Anonymous,
    You have misconstrued what I said, again. How does knowing Rihanna’s two sexy uncles, Lester and Leslie, especially Leslie, make me Bajan with GT parents? Answer ma quick, I dying to hear. The closest I would get to being a GTbanna is my kinky hair.
    You are a teaser, I gone.


  13. Billigflug,
    We may be digressing but dat is how we do it at BU. That’s what makes BU so unique.
    You just make your point and if it is worth replying to or ignoring, or we feel that you deserve a good ‘tongue-lashing’, dat would come too. So no need to worry, just blog on my pardner.


  14. 199
    “My fantasy would be to………’
    You are hopeless. You’re an optomist and dat is one a de reasons why I continue ta ‘put-up’ wid you. Ya wicked.
    To compare the great ‘migration’ of West Indians to England, U.S etc. is not a good ananlogy simply because maybe they could ‘afford’ the influx of human but LOrd have mercy, dese GTbanna bout here in evry nook an cranny. You would got to be hay to undastan man. De only place I in see one yet, is unda my bed hidin’ in ma ol, bounce-up , dent-up ol poe. Good Christ man. B/dos is a mere 166 sq.mls or less by now.
    Wait, ya hear dat Janet Layne- Clarke passed? Another old friend of mine too who was a great contributor to the Nation Newspaper. Mr. Luther Francis. A smart ol boy.
    All de ‘good’ whuns gine long an leffin demons like moi and yours truly.


  15. Sister Bonny,,, you see you have something in common with us, so girl look, celebrate yuh Guyanese self. Give all the family there a big hug and kiss for me, and please tell Sister Dolly she has to get her house in order, as we in
    the last days, she needs to get them all back home and with all of Rihanna’s millions, tell Sister Dolly she does not want to be caught not being at home when the rapture begins, plus ah sure she knows she confusing Jungo, because when she time comes, and it happens in BGI, Jungo will drop she off right in Guyana, but if it happens in Guyana he will take her back to Mama Africa, she don’t want confusion, she already gat she hands full .

    199…hi there Fulamma ding ding ding is from Suriname, but I first heard it from Allison Hinds, but please go to You Tube and punch in the words to the song and you hear and see it. 199 are you too a Barbadian but of Guyanse parents. Listen ah gone as a see people getting upset over this blog, next you wil hear I dirty up the blog with foolishness. I see you soon all, I can’t comment on Sir Allan, but I will say he was too good to be true, just like the devil

  16. reluctant nonbeliever Avatar
    reluctant nonbeliever

    haha!

    Hopi you pathetic fool…yuh so full a shit that if de funeral parlor gave you an enema you could be buried in a matchbox…


  17. Hi Bonny, yes, I suspect ur right about the UK and Bim not being a good analogy. To be frank, I’m not certain what the solution is!! and, of course, to complicate matters, as u know, there was a time when Bajans emigrated to BG but, I guess the same size and demand argument applies!! Girl, I jes doan know wha d solution is!! Let’s hope that Thompy with his ‘bigger-brains’!! (lord!!) can resolve it!!

    Yes, I heard about Lyn and, read her articles once or twice, over the years!! It’s what’s awaiting all of us in the end!! Pity though!! Don’t know Francis!! God rest their souls!!

    Hi Sis Baby, no I’m not part Guyanese, as far as I know, but I do have some relatives who emigrated to BG!! Seems we’re all related, in the end!!

    Lord!!


  18. I wonder when Rihanna’s going to make this public-statement we heard about so we can find out precisely what happened!! Whenever, get better soon babe and return to doing your thing which only you can do, so well!!

    Love and kisses!!

    P.S. Clearly, nobdoy’s going to get the answer to the puzzle!! It’s Prince and ‘Raspberry Beret’!!

    I’d give u another one but don’t think ud get that either so, “jes have a nice day Bajanssssssssssssssss”!!!! 🙂


  19. Words cannot convey the anger which I feel right now!!

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2257080.ece

  20. Partly bajan girl Avatar
    Partly bajan girl

    http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/19/rihanna-photo-face-beating/

    Would anyone of you go back to a boyfriend or a situation that changed you into this??

  21. Partly bajan girl Avatar
    Partly bajan girl

    Here an article from black Womens Health.com about the real issue we discuss here:

    http://www.blackwomenshealth.com/2006/articles.php?id=35

    Why is domestic violence so overrepresentated in black communities in, at least,The States,
    and maybe is this a good oppurtunity to highlight it and look deeper in ourselves??


  22. Sister Babe, thanks for telling me about the song, sugar!! Will have a look soon!!

    Song going through my head this morning is ‘Disturbia’!! U must all know dat one!! By our sugar-babe, my darling Rihanna!!

    Bonny, u know that one?!! Lord!! U shoud see the video!! It’s a long way from Sparra!!

    Lord!!

    Nuhbody can rock-it like our girl!! That’s why I’d like to get my hands pun dat Chris Brown!! Has put the girl’s entire career, in jeopardy!!

    Steupse!!


  23. Yes Bonny, ah hear Janet Layne-Clark passed two days ago at her home, wonderful Barbadian lady, born of Guyanese parents. Bye from Sister baby.


  24. Oh Laudo, Bonny, dun put ideas in people head, because fuh sure you might be in yuh bed when something thump yuh from underneath , and low and behold it will be a Guyanese, afterall, BIM is only 166 sq miles, so it is a tight squeeze for all, under bed, fowl pen, cow shed, car park, you name it and you might find them. From Sister Baby


  25. After seeing that pic of a battered Rihanna, I would have to ask God for forgiveness and abort the life of Chris Brown if she was my daughter. That man is a criminal and needs the harshest punishment ever. As a bajan, if she even goes on stage with him again, I will have no more respect for her. She would have disgrace women if she ever speaks to him again. Princess Rihanna, I STILL love you, once you nail that criminal to the cross.


  26. After seeing that picture of Rihanna, I would have to say that I see two features of the inflammatory response, rubor (redness) and tumor (swelling). These signs can result from an injury due to any cause, including the striking of the face on the dashboard of a vehicle.

    If I was shown that photo in a court room, I could not honestly state the cause of the signs of the inflammatory response exhibited in the photo.


  27. G.P
    If I had seen a pic like that and had the pwer to tranfer it to some-one else, I would give it to you with my blessings.


  28. LOL. I state what is an unrefutable scientific fact and get ad hominem attacks- as was expected. LOL

    Mr Scout I saw you coming from away off. So sorry that you cant get your wish, or change my view, or understanding of what I learned.

    The facts are that one can not conclude OBJECTIVELY what was the source of the inflammatory response from just looking at the photos that has got you so worked up. LOL

    Subjective emotion vs objective Pathology. You see when you go to court to give evidence as a scientist, you cant let your emotions take over. LOL


  29. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR PRINCESS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS RIHANNA, AND LOTS OF LOVE, AND REMEMBER I LOVE YOU, THEY LOVE, BARBADOS LOVES YOU, GUYANA, WE WELL AN LOVE YUH UP, MOLDOVA LOVES YOU, WHERE EVER THAT IT, SURINAME LOVES YOU, YOUR FANS IN MALAYSIA LOVE YOU, GUYANE LOVES YOU, AND AMERICA THEY JUST LOVE YOU, EVERYDAY GIRL YOUR NAME IS ALL OVER THIER NEWS, FROM THE SKYSCRAPPERS OF LOS ANGELES TO THE BACKWOODS OF AMERICA ////YOUR NAME IS MENTIONED///THE WORLD LOVE YOU RIHANNA, OUR SWEET PRECIOUS PRINCESS. GET WELL QUICKLY AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON. GOD BLESS YOU AND I LOVE YOU. BYE PS I ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE YOU ARE GUYANESE THAT I HAVE NOTICED WHEN I PUT IN TO GOOGLE THE WORDS GUYANESE PEOPLE YOU COMING UP AS A FAMOUS GUYANESE///I TELL YOU


  30. I just read the pictures were published of Rihanna’s infliction at the hands of Chris Brown, but I can’t find the pictures on the computer, like they removed them ro something. The article said, Dad Ronald is upset that they printed the pictures as the US authorities had forbade to so. Well it is Rihanna’s 21st and I heard there was suppose to be a big bash in New York City, but Rihanna cancelled however, I think it is nicer to spend the time with the family. Hve nice night everyone. Love to all.


  31. The Scout // February 20, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    After seeing that pic of a battered Rihanna, I would have to ask God for forgiveness and abort the life of Chris Brown if she was my daughter. That man is a criminal and needs the harshest punishment ever.

    *************

    Scout, agree with u completely, bro! Just wish the authorities could give him to us to deal with!!

    Georgie, not everybudy’s intrested in your technical nonsense!! Everybudy knows when they’ve seen pictures of somebody who’s been beaten-up!! Except you, apparently!!

    Laaaddddddddddddd!!

    Sister Baby, to see the pics uv only got to visit the links at 5:26 and 5:28 above!! Come on, darling!! And SB, Rihanna is ours, i.e. Barbadian!! PLEASE, let her be ours!!

    Get better soon Rihanna, darling!! Currently, can’t live without my daily dose of Rihanna!! Last night it was ‘Disturbia’, etc!! Mega!! Mega!! Mega!!

    Too sweet!!


  32. Hi 199, I saw the picture oh my, that girl really suffered at the hands of Chris Brown. I am lost for words. Thank you for directing me to picture, I am afraid to click here and there so I normally don’t click, but thanks, and yes the girl is Barbadian, I don’t know what foolishness that is, that she is placed as a Guyanese person, there she is in picture right next to the Guyana President Mr. Bharat Jagdeo and Dame Valerie Amos and it says famous Guyanese people. You go 199 to the Google and punch in Guyanese people and this thing comes up. Not I that put it up, as I would not know where to begin, plus if I did, I would be frighten because I would be lying, she is not Guyanese. I don’t know is what wrong with them. Have a nice night.


  33. GP you wrote” Georgie Porgie // February 20, 2009 at 6:27 pm | Reply

    LOL. I state what is an unrefutable scientific fact”

    You don’t want the TRUTH to get in the way of your facts do you?


  34. That’s ok, Sis Baby!! David says we’ve got to discuss the economy now so, I dunno!!

    Laddddddddddddddd!!!!

    I prefer Rihanna!! 🙂


  35. It appears our Princess Rihanna is hell bent on goingback intoa relationship with that goon Chris Brown. If what I’ve heard and am reading is true, she would lose ALL the respect I have for her. Also, I think she would not be a mentor for our Barbadian young people and therefore she should be relieved as the Youth Ambassador for Barbados. I was a bit worried when these young people are given such alcolades so early but I thought she deserved it and hope she represents it with honour, it seems I was/am wrong. I also hope that I am wrong in belieing that she is going back with that scamp. Remember ” birds of a feather flock together.”


  36. Scout, let’s hope that you’re wrong and it’s nothing more than a scurrilous, rumour! Unfortunately, one is n’t always able to fathom the mind of the fairer sex from the number of them who remain in abusive relationships for so long. It seems that Rihanna may fall into this category!

    Let’s pray not!! I would still love her but she’d also have my endless sympathy!! As for being Youth Ambassador For Bim, she would certainly derserve to lose that title!!


  37. Stupseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
    Wunna leff de young people doo.
    It was blown outta proportion in de fuss place. But ya kno’ de media?
    I wish dem both de best. Togetha or apart.
    Mek ammends ef wunna want ta do, doan mind nabody.
    Wunna really tink dat de young people all caught up in dis ‘rig-ma-roll’ like we old folks? “doan get ‘tie-up”.
    Stupseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.


  38. Bonny, u don’t seem to mind that she was beaten to a pulp!! Is that true?!!


  39. Bonny Peppa
    I agree, she has the right to do whatever she wants to do with her life. Her kind of music is more suited to the younger folks, even though a few of her songs I do like. However, my sole reason for supporting her so far,(and I hope it can continue), is she has been a true ambassador for this country. Having said that the pressure on her was great. I don’t think we in Barbados gave her as much support as we could or should have but if she bows under the pressure she’s under, I cannot continue supporting her because my daughters would say that I’m a hypocrite, since if it had happened to them and the guy was still alive, and she went back with him, I would cut her loose. Let her fall on her face, mash it up, that would be her RIGHT to do. As an Ambassador for other young people, she would have been disqualified. If Chris Brown was a bajan and Rihanna an american, how would we look at the whole scenerio?


  40. 199
    All hearsay my bro, all hearsay. I read in the Sunday Sun that she misses him sooooooooooo much. Love does some strange things to SOME of us. Not me, fa sure and surely not 199.

    Bro.Scout
    “Let the chips fall as they may”, my darlinks.
    Were it your daughter, you would be mad with her to reconcile but you won’t cut her loose a-tall. Not you bro. Scout.
    I emphatize with this young couple and I wish them well.
    If it were my daughter (i have all sons) I would knock him unconscious, regardless to who hit who first but if they want to make ammends, well, what can I do? And if it happens again, again, I would knock him to the ground. It is easier said than done, to sever ties with your offspring. They make you mad as hell at times and even disappoint at times but ‘forgetting’ them isn’t that easy man.


  41. If Chris Brown was a bajan and Rihanna an american, how would we look at the whole scenerio?
    ________________________
    @ scout

    Very interesting comment!


  42. JC
    I think that the whole argument all along was the fact that a female was alllegedly abused by a male. I didn’t know that nationality or gender was ever questionable.
    Bonny getting confused now with this new swing to de ‘saga’.


  43. If Chris Brown was a bajan and Rihanna an american, this thread would not exist on this forum. We would all be saing it serve she right. We would be saying she musst be do something to deserve it, etc . Ah lie?


  44. We all would advise victims of domestic violence to get out before it is too late. This is the rational thing to do. However, circumstances make it really difficult for some victims to visualize survival without their beating spouse. This false commitment compels them to take the beatings. Many others believe that it was through their fault that they were beaten. So many reasons yet, given the fatality rate, it’s better to live in poverty that to die in riches.

    I salute all women who manage to leave and hope that Rihanna can become the poster girl for Domestic Violence and influence more positive response from victims, their abusers and the family and friends of those involved.

    Shut Up And Drive

    So often with blatant disrespect
    Hands that once caress and were vowed to protect
    Used against their weaker spouse in violent anger
    This in cadence with kicks, bites and things thrown at a lover
    Uncertain ties keep victims coming back
    Punishing themselves with more brutal attack
    And confused by false commitment they can’t get out
    Nastier beatings each time as they’re knocked about
    Domestic violence is an intolerable crime
    Devastating physically and emotionally each time
    Reactions may differ, mostly they are the same
    Introspectively many victims think they are the blame
    Victims leave in their cars running to stay alive
    Erroneously soliloquizing going back but I say Shut Up And Drive!

    An Acrostic Poem from The Bajan Poetry Society


  45. Anon,
    Yah in lie. Ya rite.


  46. Many of the victims of Domestic Violence crack and may one night seek vengeance by taking the life of their tormentor. Good people are changed into killers and their children are raised up in a culture of inflicting and tolerating pain.

    Push Up On Me

    Pain inflicted mercilessly
    Unrelenting, brutalizing agony
    Self respect lost if they remain
    Housed with the criminally insane
    Unsure of their future and where to go
    People tolerate every repeated blow
    One day it explodes and fate turns
    Now victim is villain and their tormenter burns
    Many years of agony to leave new scars
    Each year ahead to be spent behind prison bars

    Another Acrostic Poem from The Bajan Poetry Society


  47. However, circumstances make it really difficult for some victims to visualize survival without their beating spouse.

    *****************

    Khadji, not to mention that some women seem to derive some sort of primordial, sexual pleasure from the beatings!! Not that I approve of such but it’s a fact! Once, I was giving some guys a lift, here, in the enlightened UK, and they started talking about this subject. It was nighttime and at least one had been drinking. The drinker to my astonishment suddenly announced that he was going to “go in and give his wife a good beating”!! He said that, “she looked forward to it every friday night”!!

    Well, I was n’t in a position to argue with him, as I did n’t know him that well, but many women do stay with their physical abusers for many years and one wonders why! This might be a pointer to the reason!!

    Bonny, I understand what you’re saying and as you suggest, it is n’t easy to cut your ties with your children but, in a case such as that, I would certainly try, very hard, to do so!!

    Hand Tech, I’ve some indispensable info for u with regard to your bicycle-riding persuant to an educative, tv prog. which I watched last night which I’ll disclose to you, if you ask me nicely!!


  48. Bonny, tuh tell u d trute!! I has to wonda if perhaps, u was a victim of domestic abuse yuhself, which perhaps, accounts for why u find it so excusable?!!


  49. Naaa Bonny I didnt mean to make you confused ….. it is just that I never looked at it from that aspect!

    It wasjust an interesting statement!

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