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Court System Not Protecting Men – UN Convention On Rights Of Child White Paper

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There is a concern by advocates of the rights of men that our legislators are not doing enough. The  130 page White Paper on the Child Protection and the Maintenance Act is an opportunity to defend the rights of men as it relates to Parental Alienation Syndrome. It is accepted that decisions handed down by Barbados Courts are are in the majority pro-woman. The ignorance and insensitivity of judicial officers presiding over family matters in the local court system has reached

To quote a male advocate,

…the white paper is revolutionary in its 130 page recommendations for it speaks to a minimum of 50% shared parenting for every parent once child in not in any danger. No longer will claimants go straight to court-  mediation and counselling will be required in all maintenance as well as access issues for the court is unnecessary clogged with these emotional issues…the Amendments in the white paper now speak to in kind maintenance as the extended family can help…Courts in Barbados perpetuate the notion that men are just a source of finance…

Read full text: UN Convention On Rights Of Child Whitepaper Barbados

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121 responses to “Court System Not Protecting Men – UN Convention On Rights Of Child White Paper”

  1. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    I have heard about the unfair treatment being meted out to some caring fathers who are trying their best and I think it is appalling and counterproductive if the aim is to satisfy the needs of the child. I support Kammie in his effort to restore the balance of justice.

  2. David Avatar
    David

    The following is being circulated on Whatsapp. Strong language!

     

    https://barbadosunderground.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/audio-2018-11-14-19-53-52-2.mp3

    https://barbadosunderground.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/audio-2018-11-14-19-53-52-3.mp3

    https://barbadosunderground.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/audio-2018-11-14-19-53-52-4.mp3

    https://barbadosunderground.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/audio-2018-11-14-19-53-52.mp3

  3. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    By the way, Lexicon, I do not have one submissive bone in my whole body. I require a partner not a leader. I do not wish to be led.

  4. Lexicon Avatar
    Lexicon

    Donna

    I am no surprised by your comment … because a lot of women do not even know or understand what they emotionally respond to … you just haven’t found the right man yet that you can follow… because a lot of men are emotionally weak … and they do and say things which undemine their masculine core … and this turns off the woman…

  5. Lexicon Avatar
    Lexicon

    Donna

    You first have found the right man with the right kind of qualities … in order for you to submit to him …

    Most men are clingy, possessive, jealous, self-centered weak emotionally … and these are qualities which turns off women… a confident man is sure of himself and does not reflect these qualities… he knows and understand that a woman is liken to a cat that goes and comes as it pleases… instead of argue with his woman when she is in one of her many moods … he knows when to keep his distance and when embrace his woman … etc

  6. Lexicon Avatar
    Lexicon

    Donna

    ” I do not have one submissive bone in my body”

    What do you think compromise entails? It involves the surrendering of our will in order to meet that common ground in the relationship… I know if there is a knock on the door one last night… your man isn’t going ask you to get the door… while he hide under bed …? A real man /leader gets up and answer the door because he is the protector …etc

  7. Lexicon Avatar
    Lexicon

    Donna

    And finally Donna …there is a reason why you are woman … and there is reason why I am a man … there is something about your femininity that does something to my masculinity…the both of them complement each other… in those hour of copulation you have submit to the maculine side of my nature … that is how the Creator designed it …

  8. Lexicon Avatar
    Lexicon

    Bush Tea

    Most men are superficial…meaning that they are attracted to what they see in a woman … whereas… most women are attracted to what is not seen in a man … like his confidence, his social intelligence, his masculinity, his humility etc… but of course there is those small group of women who are gold diggers…material women … then there is the Wise Woman which the Bible speaks of in Proverbs 31 … whose husband has full trust in her … who provides for her household etc .

  9. Lexicon Avatar
    Lexicon

    Donna

    I have heard a lot of many saying… that women talk to much … but what these men do not understand is the fact that ( women have learned from young how to embraced their emotions) women resolved their problem by talking about them.

    Men on the other hand …have been taught by society that any outward showing of emotions are signs of weakness … but most women would not look at a man anymore different if he cry in front of her … but for a man to cry in front of a woman … is seen as a weakness to him…

  10. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @lawson November 15, 2018 7:19 AM “I agree with Charles if you split up you have to give the wedding gifts back.”

    So when the unhappy couple brings a ten year old kettle or blender to my home, what am I supposed to do with it?

  11. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @Georgie Porgie November 15, 2018 10:46 AM “ONE WOMAN WHO GAVE HER HUSBAND HELL IS NOW AN ALCOHOLIC. HE LEFT SHE IN DE BIG HOUSE AND GONE WID DE MAID.”

    Yes I know that case. Only thing is he was fooping the maid for years, which is why his wife had been giving him hell. The lousy husband and the stinking maid drove the poor wife to drink.

  12. Georgie Porgie Avatar
    Georgie Porgie

    which case you talking bout SS?

  13. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @Lexicon November 15, 2018 2:53 PM “women are premeditated in their actions: a woman just doesn’t get up and leave as a man would … a woman plans her departure.”

    TRUE.

  14. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @Talking Loud Saying Nothing November 15, 2018 5:35 PM “No comments – yet, from our female bloggers. Waru, Donna and Simple Simon where are you?”

    We were busy looking after the children and grandchildren of the BU bloggers, while wunna men limed in the BU rum shop.

    You see now why the courts order wunna to pay nuff nuff child money.

    Because we women do about 98% of the actual hands on child and grandchild raising.

  15. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ Lexicon
    Bush Tea…..Most men are superficial…
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Boss .. kindly leave Bushie out of your relationship lectures…

    BTW…..what superficial what??!!
    Most men are brass bowls.
    This has been established LONG ago…

  16. TheOGazerts Avatar
    TheOGazerts

    I have moderated my position on these matters based solely on the contributions from Kammi Holder. He does present a convincing argument that the pendulum has swung too far to one side, but it seems he expect that a court with a vast workload will act with surgical precision for every case that comes in front of it.

    Perhaps, the courts starts with the premise that the man is most likely at fault. Or the courts sees us as a patriarchal society and therefore seeks to protect women and children who are in front of it.

    It is clear that a different approach is needed.

    I see others here that are ready to give advice on how to deal with women. My one bit of advice to any young man is “ignore all of this advice and try to understand the woman you are dealing with. There is no formula for happiness”.

  17. David Avatar
    David

    The court can establish and equip a functioning family court.

  18. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    @Theo,

    We have had this debate before. The family courts start from the premise that the child’s rightful place is with the mother. Everything else flows from that.

  19. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Lexicon,

    I am quite willing to compromise when the occasion demands it but I demand compromise from a mate also. This is what i call strength – OF MIND. A smart man recognises when his wife’s idea is better than his and runs with it. What submissive what! PARTNERSHIP!

    I’ll be damned if I let a MAN like you tell me about myself and what I want and what makes me happy! (Or what should make me happy) The nerve of it is ASTOUNDING!!!!!

    P.S. All women are not the same just as all men are not the same. We must stop trying to place people in the box we are comfortable with and look at individuals as they are.

  20. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Simple Simon,

    It is quite true that women do most of the work after conception but that is why we should not put obstacles in the path of those men who are willing to step up and play their part. If we do that then why would the other men even bother to change. Kammie is not advocating for the delinquents but for those who are trying their best.

    .

  21. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    David,

    It is my humble opinion that if we make a properly functioning family court a priority our need of the criminal courts would decrease exponentially.

  22. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    If a woman takes a man to court for child support
    It means the man was never paying child support in the first place
    I gone
    Enough said

  23. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    A properly constituted family court, backed with competent legislation, would mean that anyone appearing before the court could not be identified. So, a Rastafarian family opting to home-school their children will not be vilified – and identified – by an irresponsible media. It also means presiding magistrates/judges will not grab all the publicity going. But first we need new legislation.
    Not to digress, under our archives legislation, when are courts records made public? After ten years? Twenty? Thirty? Never?

  24. Lexicon Avatar
    Lexicon

    Mariposa

    “If a woman takes a man to court for childsupport it means the man was never paying childsupport in the first place”

    That is not always the case … a woman may take a man to family court because she may have found out that he was make more money … and believes that she should be getting more of his salary…

    Then again a lot of women choose not to put men on childsupport because of their love for them …or because their believe that they do not need a man to help them take care of their children etc

    Also a man could formulate a personal agreement between himself and the child’s mother for childsupport without a court order … but on the other hand she can also re renege on that agreement and take him to court for that childsupport.

    In America for example: a man and his child mother could agree on a out of court sum for the support of their child … but as soon as that woman goes on welfare the state automatically garnish the man wages for the childsupport..

  25. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    Be careful what you wish for. When the UK first introduced child support, it got popular support because the narrative was about black baby fathers not supporting their kids.
    But the Child Support Agency was set targets, collecting a set amount of money annually. It was then that they picked low hanging fruit – professional divorced men whose reputations, professional and personal, meant that had to obey. The majority of black baby fathers told them to bugger off and jail them if they wanted to.
    I remember one of the guys targeted by the agency was one of their senior managers. He told me he had to endure the humiliation of having a junior member of his team interview him about his child after his ex-wife brought a case against him. It affected him greatly.
    The guys on the block would not care less if the baby mothers took them to court. It is a recipe for a war between marshalls/police and the youths.

  26. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    Some men, will not pay child support unless ordered by a court to do so. Please note that it did not requie a court order for him to have sex with the woman without a condom.

    But when it come to supporting the result of his pleasurable activity, it takes all of the king’s horses and all of the king’s men to drag him into court to compel him to do the necessary thing by his child.

    What a paradise it would be if every man voluntarily supported his children. Then we wouldn’t need a family court at all.

  27. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ Lexicon
    Boss man….
    Bushie REALLY thought that after the experience of that apartment fire when your neighbour had to drag you to safety … you would have taken a break from blogging ..and come back with a new level of rationality…

    We now see that Bushie was wrong…. ’bout the rationality…

    Nobody wants advice from someone who not only has been dumped by women of all ethnicities and nationalities;
    – but who burns down a whole building ..and had to be rescued by an old white neighbour;
    .. and who unplugged a life-support system while working in a hospital …. so that he could charge his cell phone to blog on BU.

    wuh part yuh working now..?
    steupsss..
    You are talking too much boss….
    Bushie getting tired with the lotta scrolling and scrolling…..

  28. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @Hal Austin November 17, 2018 8:19 AM “professional divorced men whose reputations, professional and personal, meant that had to obey…I remember one of the guys targeted by the agency was one of their senior managers. ”

    Very, very poor judgement on his part, to have chosen such a woman to be the mother of his children. He should have taken time to know her. Let his decisions be governed by his brain, instead of by his appendage.

    If a woman is going to be the primary influencer of YOUR children, you better ensure that she is a GOOD woman.

  29. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    Bushie, why don’t you leave lexicon.

  30. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ Simple Simon
    If a woman is going to be the primary influencer of YOUR children, you better ensure that she is a GOOD woman.
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    A ‘GOOD’ woman….?
    ‘good’ at what…?

    Perhaps you may wish to put a lid on that advice….
    If young men were to follow it, the birthrates would PLUNGE even further …
    We may have to bring back Ronald Jones to address the issue…

  31. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    Bushie and Lexi tight….
    LOL

  32. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @Bush Tea November 17, 2018 8:35 AM A ‘GOOD’ woman…? ‘good’ at what…?”

    Good at turning, crying, pissy, shitty, 8 pound human beings into good, decent, loving, smart, productive women and men.

    Adults that any father or mother is proud to say “that is my daughter” or “that is my son”

    Is that too much to ask?

    And of course a woman should take the time to get to know a man, in order to ensure that he is a good decent man who will stay to work with her on the important task of raising their children to adulthood.

    Is this too much to ask?

  33. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    Or wear a condom, every time. Or better yet if you don’t wish to be bothered with child raising, and spending time and money to do the same, get thee to thy doctor for a VOLUNTARY sterilization.

    VOLUNTARY sterilization, about $300.

    To raise a newborn to adulthood, about $300,000.

  34. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    Or Bajans can give up of the child bearing, and child raising thingy, and we can import ready made adults from Guyana and Haiti etc.

    Easy so. Cost us zero time. Cost us zero money.

  35. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    So now here what happens
    The court orders the “father” to pay child support
    All of a sudden “dad” becomes a big man and finds his demanding voice
    Forgetting that for years and months he did not ask to see the child for obvious reasons

  36. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Kammie,

    Do not mind the nonsense that is being posted here! Some of us understand that there are many fathers out there trying their best. Some of us understand that you are speaking on behalf of these fathers. We understand the seriousness of the issue. It makes NO SENSE to keep on listing the failings of other men who are not the point of this discussion.

    The reality is that when relationships end many adults FORGET THE CHILDREN in an effort to score points. If the children are to be looked after we have to find a way to mediate these battles fairly. A one-size-fits-all approach is not an effective way to deal with these issues. The particular circumstances of the parties need to be considered and real counselling needs to occur. If done properly everybody can leave happy.

    And is not that better than endless bruising battles? Or even worse the ones that end in motherless AND fatherless children?

  37. Lexicon Avatar
    Lexicon

    Bush Tea

    All I have to say to you brother is that I respect your right to express your opinion … but it is unfortunate how you continue to pork fun at the misfortune of others … like you aren’t cognizant of the fact that the same fate can also befall you…

    Listen! There is a time and place to pork fun at others to validate one sense of importance, but also be mindful of the fact that words have within them the power to spread joy, and the power to cause harm … especially if a person isn’t too sure of his or her self.

  38. Lexicon Avatar
    Lexicon

    Donna

    Your point is taken … however, we are aware of the fact that there are a lot of fathers of there who are trying their best to full the needs of their children … but how does a father who works 80hrs a week find the time to spend quality time with his children … when he has to provide for his children and his present family without been vilified? We know that children need presences and not presents …

  39. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    So my question to men who had court orders to pay child support
    What if the mother did not engage the court permission
    Would denial of access to seeing the child be an issue?

  40. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ Lexicon
    There is a time and place to pork fun at others to validate one sense of importance,
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    What pork what fun what??!!
    Can’t you read between such wide lines..?

    Bushie is trying to tell you NICELY that you share TOO MUCH personal information about your damn self
    and about your family on the blog.

    You think Bush got time to waste ‘porking’ fun at you … when GP is available…?
    Steupss…
    There is NO WAY that Bushie should know so much about your personal life…
    Wuh you is Caswell…?
    Try and think before you type do.

  41. Kammie Holder Avatar
    Kammie Holder

    @Donna, thank you for your words of encouragement. To respond to the trash coming from some of these commentators would give them relevance. No wonder the Legal Industry got the country by its balls. My reluctant retort to the trashers would be
    ” When the Nazis came for the communists,
    I remained silent;
    I was not a communist.

    When they locked up the social democrats,
    I remained silent;
    I was not a social democrat.

    When they came for the trade unionists,
    I did not speak out;
    I was not a trade unionist.

    When they came for the Jews,
    I remained silent;
    I wasn’t a Jew.

    When they came for me,
    there was no one left to speak out.”

  42. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Just plough on through the muck and the mire, Kammie! Even those who do not seem to know it will benefit from it or their children and grandchildren will.

  43. WARU Avatar
    WARU

    “Simple Simon November 17, 2018 8:47 AM

    Or Bajans can give up of the child bearing, and child raising thingy, and we can import ready made adults from Guyana and Haiti etc.

    Easy so. Cost us zero time. Cost us zero money.”

    I keep telling them that, the most practical and cost effective solution instead of listening to clowns like Jackass Jones telling them “breed more, breed more”

    breeding more comes with many strings, family drama, domestic violence, high mental and physical COSTS and is very unfair to the unborn, just born and growing children..

    ….the Caribbean has at least a 20 million young adult pool to choose from AND import…including for breeding purposes if ya must, but I would use already grown adults, the breeding will follow…AND you will have dual nationals…a win win.

  44. lawson Avatar
    lawson

    when they came for the pot smoking, tail chasing, beach bums.
    I said ..there goes the party

  45. Kammie Holder Avatar
    Kammie Holder

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/nov/19/feminist-celebrating-international-mens-day?fbclid=IwAR29fcsv-CdX5HZnpYncuZVeDzhYULHIgJPtq-38073KOkJd-Jhremg_kHg

  46. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Happy International Men’s Day,!

  47. charles skeete Avatar
    charles skeete

    “the person who files for divorce should just leave with no claim on house and children (and maintenance)”

    This seems to be somewhat unjust. So if a husband is openly having an affair with another woman and ignoring his wife which causes her to file for divorce then would it be fair for her to be deprived of any claim or vice versa?

  48. 555dubstreet Avatar
    555dubstreet

    “This seems to be somewhat unjust.”

    Going on the basis of probability same way as Courts do

    it’s bad women who are ruining good men with lies in Family Court

  49. David Avatar
    David

    Government setting up a hybrid family court whatever that means.

  50. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    Sometimes ignorance gets us angry. The idea of a family court is confidentiality. A hybrid court is not the answer. Who came up with this idea? The Chief Justice, or the attorney general?

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