Fathers Being Stiffed by Barbados Courts

The following cry was posted to the blogmaster’s Facebook timeline by indefatigable citizen advocate Kammie Holder – Blogmaster

Dear David King I may not be an officer of the court but it pains me to have to publicly condemn our court system. The selection process of judges and magistrates must undergo greater scrutiny to assure they are fit for purpose in dipensing justice that knows no bias or gender.

I wish to declare I have come to the conclusion there is no hope for good supporting fathers in Barbados within the court system to get a sympathetic ear, justice or equality. Very pathetic when lawyers who are officers of the court would retreat and be telling fathers that they need to form a strong lobby group to deal with the bias against men they see in some courts.

After hearing the complaints of 3 men in the last 24 hours two in tears feeling hard done by the courts I must reluctantly publicly highlight the frustration of non delinquent fathers. It seems some magistrates and judges are showing callous regard to the complaints of good supporting fathers.

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(Father 1)
Why would a court system say to a father who has gone to court as plaintiff to gain custody of his daughter, due to her mother been unfit as shown by public records be told if the mother is deemed unfit the child would have to be made a ward of the state.

Is this the same lazy incompetent Child Care Board which refused to take the young man complaint serious. The CCB needs a radical overhaul and is it still relevant in it’s current format? This same Child Care Board needs a commission of enquiry to show its incompetence for no one wants to call that spade a spade.

I remember the indifference of the court after requesting to see my daughter under supervised access and seeking a change in venue because of a decaying dog. The stubborn mother said I was lying as whatever she told the judge was gospel and public opinion was saying the man is the aggressor the woman the victim. Thus leaving me with the only solution of using videos in the court of public opinion to show the #UnpaltableTruth.

It was requested of me by the judge to bring proof of a dead dog in a park for it may have appeared that women cannot lie. Oh I have the pictures in case any person wants to challenge my recollection of events.

(Father 2)
When a father who is been frustrated by a non compliant child mother cannot get a court date and we talking about a family court Father is saying to me he is frustrated and will be giving up. What are we doing to our kids? How can any father have confidence in a court system that fails him?

Some of you will offer a simplistic response and another will not want to accept food supporting fathers exist. What do you expect when the Attorney General, Child Care Board, Courts and Goovernment shows no interest in the plight or concerns of good supporting fathers trying to be in the lives of their kids.

Do not tell me about the old men social club called MESA which is a night out for old retired men set in their ways far removed from child bearing age and concerns of men.

If I am to expose who are my enemies for speaking the #UnpalatableTruth and standing up for a principle then let it be, I die but one death! Roy Hurley Lynette Eastmond Laticia Bourne

97 thoughts on “Fathers Being Stiffed by Barbados Courts

  1. I am assuming that the father went before a female judge or Magistrate, and given the history of child sexual abused in Barbados the judge or Magistrate thought it best that the child would be safer in the custody of the state rather than with her father who quite possibly could be a potential molester? Just my take on the issue!

  2. David, the statistics shows 8 out of 10 women have been sexually molested in their life time, and if this father went before a female judge or Magistrate there is no way she is going to release this girl child into this father’s custody, knowing this reality …

  3. Kammie Holder

    I am not talking about unfit parents, but there ought to be no need for a family court if both mother and father are able to put their differences aside and think about the needs of the child or children… But we have a situation where the father tries his best to pay as less child maintenance as possible to get back at the mother, and the mother tries her best to suck every dimes out of the father to get back at him …before the both of them put their egoes aside and think about what is best for the child or children… because in the end it is the child or children that suffers …

  4. A mother who exposing her daughter to a decaying dog is not enough to Constituted being an unfit mother … a mother who is addicted to drugs or alcohol and neglects the well being of her child or children can be regarded as an unfit mother … then we can easily concluded that a mother who hits her children for wrongdoing is an unfit mother, but we know such is not the case …

  5. Why de a.ss you dont hush and let fathers whom the courts have unfaired speak?

    Not ever father does want to foop dem child like de sickos in America

    Not every woman has been molested by men like you who regale the tales of your encounters with various women as recent as the Small woman you were here congratulating yourself about a few days ago.

    Sometimes a fellow get caught up with woman for all the wrong reasons a he realizes that she is not the one for him.

    He moves on and finds a new woman AND WHAPLAX!!!

    Jes so she at District A, where dem policemens was did do tings to you, and just like that you are molesting your daughter or son, I got to be politically correct nowadays.

    People in Barbados are very biased.

    And if you are a few shades too dark, and the child mother brown skinned, well you dun loss de case.

    It is as ridiculous as that.

    Or if she went University and you only is a carpenter, you outta luck.

    Shut to ef up Lexicunt and let men discuss the issues and see if we can present some working solutions for these 30 ministers to use

  6. Old Man really …go and read the UNICEF report on sexual abused of children in the Caribbean and go and sit yah old ass down…

  7. Old Man you does talk bare scunt when you ought to be serious …no wonder your grandson need some starch in he backbone…

  8. Hear de Old Man … “Not all women have been molested” … Not occuring to that woman on Nakeddeparture … She said Barbados is a nation of pedophiles… You don’t remember Old Man? I gine ask her to put your name on the list…

  9. And finally Old Man …why would the lady on Nakeddepartu e suggested a Sex Offenders Registry in Barbados … if you and those of your liken keep wunnah hands off fah de people girls and boy children?

  10. Old Man, the UNICEF report stated that the predominant sexual abused in Barbados was incest …go and Google the UNICEF report on Barbados if you don’t believe me Old Man..

  11. @ Lexicon

    Are you a qualified social worker?

    Your 6 contributions to this topic is your way of trying to tell BU you have some knowledge of the substantive issue. However, they are speculative and irrelevant.

    PUDRYR is correct that you should let the fathers who have been unfairly treated in the Court tell their stories.

    You said there would be no need for a family court if mom and dad could put their differences behind them for the child’s sake. Then there would be no need for Civil or Criminal Courts if everyone put their differences behind them.

    This is the real world, not Lexiworld.

    Are these stats you presented Barbadian or US. If they are US, what is the correlation to Barbados?

    Is the Court supposed to give rulings based on 8 out of 10 US women being molested? Have you taken into consideration the cultural differences?

    “and given the history of child sexual abuse in Barbados…” where is the evidence to support your claim?

    “read the UNICEF report on sexual abused of children in the Caribbean”……..what does the report say about sexual abused children in Barbados?

    You are giving us the impression that every case involving child custody or maintenance based on children being sexually abused.

    There are situations where mothers neglect their children simply because her new man don’t want them around him or want the former boyfriend coming to see or pick up his children. Or the new man wants to physically abuse them because they are not his. It happens with women too.

    There are cases where new boy/girl friends want to prevent mothers and fathers from seeing their children.

    Lexicon, clearly you out of your depth with this issue.

  12. Old Man

    So you see the fears of a female judge or Magistrate awarding full custody of daughter to a father in Barbados? I just being real Old Man…

  13. Robert Goren … don’t talk to me if you haven’t already read the UNICEF report on Barbados … and I am only speaking on one particular aspect regarding the court treatment of men in Barbados, and the psychology behind the female judge decision to deny the father custody of his daughter…

  14. It’s pathetic that it’s always the man has had to have done some wrong. Gynocentricism is real in Barbados where we behave as if all women are saints and men just incapable of any modicum of decency or thoughtfulness. Let me say a minute amount of women are also the victims of Parental Alienation.

    Why is it so hard to understand my fight is not for threatening and delinquent fathers but fathers who are non threatening and supportive who want to have a normal relationship with their children. Once the courts get involve be prepared for a long drawn out process that most often than not is senseless, emotional roller coaster, loss productivity and a financial drain.

    This government is totally indifferent to the plight of fathers whose names are deliberately omitted from children school registration forms. The courts ignores this omission and focuses only on the money, if one magistrate pronouncement to a father who appeared in the newspaper, “ Are you the man in the the newspaper? The newspaper cannot help you we make the laws and my court is about money.” So many fathers are unable to attend PTAs, sports day or even see the school report. Edict from Ministry Of Education to principals no access to children or information if your name is not on school registration form. Oh, I will hear that it can easily be fixed by taking the child’s birth certificate and matter solved. Nope! Only the primary registrant can add a name. Yes.

    Some men have reported to me they go to court and some judicial officers caught up in the ultimate power of the privilege to dispense justice threat them with disdain and impoliteness while the women are given all the courtesies. Had to go with a father who was in tears to the Child Care Board who showed great indifference to his complaints.

    Courts by they nature are adversarial and pits the lawyers in a duel of trying to prove who is the better at acting while milking Legal Aid and the respondent if he is self paying. Only mediation can solve these highly charged emotional manipulative behaviors of Parental Alienation.

    The courts of Barbados are totally blind to Parental Alienation and it’s impact of children. A girl child with out the nurturing of a father finds hard as an adult to navigate meaningful relationship with males later on in life. Seeking to be accepted females accept abusive relationship as a sign of love and some gravitate to Sugar Daddies. Boys seek love, acceptance and approval from the block in the absence of that strong father figure. Most of the juveniles incarcerated according to the book Barbados Most Wanted come from single mothers households.

    Many fathers also support their kids financially but deliberately stay away to ensure their sanity from some narcissistic mothers make weird conditional access to children. I am told of a 7 year old boy who is an A student but was very withdrawn at the beginning of the January school term. Refused to talk to his mum or teacher, however on the intervention of the principal it was discovered his father as a detective was doing double shift due to the upsurge in crime and was not finding time for the A student. Problem was communicated to busy father and the A student desire was fulfilled.

    We do not condone any father given any child the minimum financial support but each circumstance must be looked at. Some women and men have acted irresponsibly throwing themselves into a poverty trap which see them running a family below the poverty line. Thus it saddens me to hear a woman having to trek to a court to collect $50 weekly in these austere times.

    Unfortunately the white paper on amendments to the Maintenance Act and Minors Act are so revolutionary that we now see support in kind been included. Mr AG it may not be election time and we know that women are the majority voters please act in the best interest of fathers and children in getting the white paper to parliament. Ignore that it was about to be laid in parliament by the DLP when the parliament was dissolved. Hope this appeal is part of your security briefing today for many fathers are angry if the number of men running afoul of the law in the last 6 months for striking out at mothers who deny them access to their kids. We do not condone law breaking but Sir you inability to act, perpetuates anger and discord at the expense of children.

    Oh I forget this one the courts shows great indifference to the concern of men about access breaches and frustration for a notion exist it’s difficult to punish mothers.

    Who will be the first to offer the goat and simplistic excuse of, choose your partner more carefully?

    • The matter to be confronted is that children in a broken relationship/family still need the support of both parents to have the best chance for achieving their full potential. The parents and support systems offered by civil society must always factor this as a priority.

  15. Not occuring to that woman on Nakeddeparture … She said Barbados is a nation of pedophiles… (quote)


    “Occuring”…… Or do you mean “according?”

    How do you know what she wrote is true?

    When did she conduct a research survey and where are her statistics and the results of that survey?

    In the absence of any statistical analysis, what she is saying is based on speculation…… assumptions etc.

    Lexicon, give it a rest. Out of 13 contributions you have 10, which are meaningless to the topic.

  16. Robert Goren

    Have you read the UNICEF report on child sexual abused in Barbados and throughout the Caribbean Sir? Well …you need to seriously give it a rest … because I never knew that I had to be a qualified counselor to speak of issues of child custody… I am a father of five children…Sir …

  17. Robert Goren, and pointing to an honest misused of words is an indication of your immaturity … the use of words is not a problem of mine…I can use words you have never heard of…

  18. Robert Goren, I could only assume that lady from Nakeddeparture is basing her findings on the UNICEF report and what has been told to her …

  19. Ok David … But I want these educated idiots to understand what I believe is the female judge’s psychology for not awarding the father custody of his daughter regarding an unfit mother based an UNICEF findings in Barbados…

  20. Why do persons take international reports as gospel. Is not some international report saying 1 in every 3 kids in Barbados use marijuana. My informal research and in discussion with Corey Layne who works with at youth risk, the main issue is broken homes and poor parenting. As a person who interacts with the youth and charities some of these reports are questionable. Damning reports also equate to aid. African aid programmes are sources of income for many smart people who set up charities. Just saying.

  21. Kammie Holder

    If the judicial system in Barbados unfairly targets men as far as child support or custody is concerned then focus on fixing this issue, but do not use women solely as the reason for some men difficult in gaining access to their children. Remember…males judges preside over some of these cases as well ….

  22. Lexicon, Sir.

    You displayed an uncanny level of immaturity by wasting 3 contributions to respond to me.

    Also, I asked if you are a qualified social worker NOT a counsellor.

    Take David’s advice. You make believe you know everything about everything. You are out of your depth and have watered down the topic with your silly, uninformed contributions.

    Quite often you use words I have never heard of, which makes me think you are doing an injustice to the word “Lexicon.”

  23. We have to stop this westernized confusion about the role of the male.

    We must come to know that Pachamama has declared an open war against those who have sought to challenge Her dominance.

    For this issue cannot be separated from climate change. Holder is yet to make the critical connections. This is the Aquarian Age. The ways of the fish are dead!

    People, like Kammie Holder, must come to know that what he is really fighting for is the continuation of a male dominance. That is essentially a White-western construction. Afrikan peoples have always accepted matriarchal cultural systems, to this day.

    Even Kammie, no doubt, could have been raised in a household with a strong woman.

    Therefore, all these legal contrivances, as given credence by him, stare into the face of the way the Great Mother has thusly ordained.

    We issue this final warning to him. Should he continue with his aggressions against the Great Mother there will be a severe backlash.

    • @Pacha

      What are you suggesting, we will have to redefine the male and female roles in the traditional family construct? Is this what Kammie is agitating?

  24. “Why do persons take international reports as gospel.”

    Mr. Kammie Holder

    I have to agree with your above comment.

    The following excerpt was taken from page 2 of a UNICEF report entitled: “CHILD PROTECTION IN BARBADOS: THE NEED FOR A NATIONAL REPORTING PROTOCOL.”

    “An accurate determination of the exact nature and full extent of child abuse in Barbados is not realizable, and this in itself, is one of the primary reasons giving support to the creation and implementation of a protocol The present system, or lack thereof, for reporting child abuse has meant that there is no centralized system for receiving reports of abuse and collecting data.”

    The above excerpt questions the accuracy of some of these international reports.

    • @Artax

      You are aware the UN for example have people on the ground and access local resources to complete these reports? One should not be surprised if Faith Marshall- Harris assisted with the compilation of UNESCO report.

  25. @Pachamama, what a load of hogwash. What the hell does a non threatening male or female fighting to have access to their children about maintaining male dominance. I suggest you do your research by talking to good non threatening supporting fathers , friends and family to hear the stories of a broken system.

    You sir are part of the gynocentric problem for once a man seek to seek his rights against a female many spew a lot of hogwash about male dominance.

    What about the children alienated?

  26. Kammie Holder

    There must be some proof that you have good, decent, moral fathers in Barbados. The mindset that continues to exist is that the vast majority of Barbadian men are predators operating under no sense of purpose. I am sure that the courts deal with so many cases involving ruthless men that it is hard-pressed to separate the sheep from those wearing wolve cloths when the women come a-running with their sad stories. From a female perspective, I can say that us, women, can be serious liars and pretenders when we want to be. Especially, when we no longer want the man in our lives but we intend to get the house and car for the three or four times he physically abused us. I really do not see how men would be more convincing to prove themselves as worthy fathers and good caregivers if the women presents a case of physical, verbal, and mental abuse. If statistics were to come forth on this issue, I think it would not favour those decent men too much because that grouping is small to non-existent, in the context of Barbados’ fatherly matrix. My opinion is that I think good fathers lose to the court system of justice because judges and magistrates have to deal constantly with the ruthless ones. Therefore, how can one determine that a father is good, upright, decent to his children and supporter of all their needs when the mother paints a picture of him that is not so flattering? A hard one Kammie Holder, in a society like Barbados where most men see women as meat to eat, and where statistics indicate that in most single home situations, it always the mother is raising the kids.

  27. Artax

    Wow. I am very surprised by what you wrote. Outside of a proper system of data collection for abuse cases, are you saying that any information source that is not a proper system for collecting data would be inaccurate?

  28. @Sunsine, you are correct thus why it’s so hard for good supporting non threatening fathers to be given a fair deal. I have experienced it first hand and have heard the complaints of good fathers as well as their mothers, friends and family.

    Women to a lesser extent are also victims of Parental Alienation all I am seeking to do is to create enough awareness to start conversations. We are all for equality, justice and fairness. However, the cycle that leads to dysfunction in the homes of the males and little girls must be broken with parents putting their silly spiteful secondary to that of kids.

  29. This is a most contentious matter

    I read Mr. Kammie Holder ‘s submissions ESPECIALLY THE ONE AT 5.07 AM and I was reading 15 different points to support truly supporting fathers and good men.

    Then I look at the submission of My Dearest SSS at 9.17 am and took a step bac BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN THE WOMSN BEATERS and those men who, though they never contribute to the financial or emotional wellbeing of their children, are prepared to stalk, beat, maim and kill their ex’es because they either suspect that, or a next man is getting the poonani

    It is a disconcerting place to be.

    Volley on the left of them, volley on the right of them…

    Then we have the two additional layers of filth to deal with.

    “Lawyers who are friends to the court and biased judges”

    And “a totally disconnected Child Care Board”

    I ent even going to discuss the illiterate Attorney General Teets with his permanent lost look when there are matters to be dealt with.

    I have seen friends who have been forced to take piss tests for a whole year, and attend anger management sessions BECAUSE THE FATHER STOPS THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS CHILD MOTHER.

    And because he weighs 300 pounds, when she says “he does beat me your honour” the gentle giant who never ever hit a woman, is marked for life as a domestic violence perpetrator.

    But I also have seen a Mason, kill his guyanese wife AND BURY HER IN HIS YARD IN THE LATRINE!!!

  30. The efforts of Kammie are noted but Pacha is correct. However we as a society have not been able to accept positions such as Pacha’s because we are so westernised that we have accepted the nonsense that all boy children who get in trouble need a father (man) to set them straight. Thousands of boy children were raised by women in both the family and extended families. In our circumstance almost a hundred percent of women who emmigrated, left their children with their grandmothers and other female relatives.
    Indeed history will show that in most of the villages the “head” and most highly respected were the older women, who kept the men and boys on the straight and narrow. Our women have never been weak and will never be !

    It is folly to suggest that statistics by international agencies regarding child abuse etc are to be dismissed. The truth is that child abuse is rampant throughout the region. There is a view that a great percentage of it is not reported to even local authorities/agencies. David has a point as well when he suggests that international agencies often depend on local agencies when compiling statistics. They may not be always accurate but they do indicate trends. For example, about four years ago, my research showed that girls’ involvement in crime was rising and becoming as prevalent as boys. I was called an alarmist. Way back in 1980, I read a document where abuse of school girls as young as eight was prevalent in a primary school in the city environs. It was dismissed as nonsense. So sometimes we do ignore or sweep certain problems under the carpet.

    • @William

      What we have in Barbados is a dysfunctional support setup to address family matters. We should be careful not to become distracted with the academics esoteric arguments.

  31. @ sss

    from a female perspective, I can say that us, women, can be serious liars and pretenders when we want to be. Especially, when we no longer want the man in our lives but we intend to get the house and car for the three or four times he physically abused us. I really do not see how men would be more convincing to prove themselves as worthy fathers and good caregivers if the women presents a case of physical, verbal, and mental abuse.

    This is one of the most real comment I have ever read on Barbados Underground.

  32. Kammie Holder

    No disrespect and for discussions purposes, how is one to know that you are a good father or not? Certainly not by your say so. You would need testaments to that claim for it to hold any legitimacy to your fatherly attributes and goodly disposition. Good must be placed in a context so that when determined, specific reference is drawn to a specific aspect of your character on a categorical basis that does not negate your specific goodness claim to your children. In other words, can a louse of a man be a good father?. Can a woman beater be a good father? Can a murderer be a good father. Can a pedophile be a good father? To all of the above, YES! However, judgement will look at the whole and not a singular attribute.

    It is the context of the word good father that can create a myriad of different interpretations that the court takes into consideration, which subsequently, can affect your good father claim. One aspect of the man does not speak for the whole man since a good father claim can be rendered unworthy by behaviour that depicts otherwise in arising situations. What would be your ex wife, ex girlfriend take on your good father pronouncement? Just my take from an estrogen perspective.

  33. Robert Goren, you ought to know me by now … I say what I wish and let the chips fall as there may and you or anyone else could shove it if you do not like what I am saying.

    And at the end of the day your opinion only matters if I value your opinion, and guess what? I don’t give a shit about your opinion and for what little it is worth … Now piss off …

  34. Noticed in the article in one instance where the father sought to have custody of the child
    The judge told the father that in the case where the mother is seen unfit
    The child becomes a ward of the state

    Actually i was looking forward to hearing the answer as to why the judge gave the father such an answer

  35. Robert Goren

    I am a 54 year old man and a father of 5 children, and I am here to tell you or any other man that I am not the best father in the world, but I still command the respect of all of my children even though I have failed in certain areas of my life.

    And don’t you every again tell me that this topic is above me
    … because the judicial system here is tough on men as well … a delinquent father in this country has his driver license and passport taken away if he is $5,000 in back child support and is imprisoned, and after his has been released from prison … he has to walk around with piece of paper to obtain signatures from businesses which he has to returned to the court within an allotted time to prove to the judge that he is actively seeking employment to stay out of prison …

  36. Mariopas

    We aren’t aware of the court record as it relates to the judge’s decision, but there must have been something in the court record regarding the father that caused the judge to rendered such a decision…

  37. Lexicon

    Will not give into speculation or assumptions
    Since Kammie brought some of the specifics of the case of which i made mention
    It is only fair and right that the a more balanced approach be given when writing the article with rationality towards the judges reasoning on any decision towards the father

  38. Mariopas
    What is Kammie Holder definition of an unfit mother? A mother who leaves a decaying dog carcass around?

  39. Mariposa

    You ought to know that there is a bond between mother and child that no man can understand … she carried him or her for 9 months … So I would think that a judge would take this in consideration …

  40. @ Lexicon

    The link between a child and mother is even closer than that. Read Professor Sue Black, the forensic anthropologist, on a physical link.

  41. The very best thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

  42. @Mr Holder, u asked above “Who will be the first to offer the goat and simplistic excuse of, choose your partner more carefully?”***

    So let me oblige and ask this query(s).

    Were u married to this lady?

    If not do u think that had been married that this split in the relationship would have created these same legal issues with your child?

    I’ll continue later…

  43. re The very best thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother.





  44. One of the things lacking in contemporary society and that ought to be taught in the church is given in Titus 2:3-5 where we see that the older women are to teach our young women.  

    Titus 2:3-5

    The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
     That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
     To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

    THEY GOT A LOT OF WOMEN IN BIM WHO DO NOT LOVE their husbands OR their children


  45. ONE OF THE MAJOR PROBLEMS IN HOMES WITH RESPECT TO ,MOTHERS IS THAT THEY DONT KNOW THAT ” those whom the Lord blesses to be mothers should take the responsibility seriously, because mothers have a unique and crucial role in the lives of their children.

    Mothers do not only bear children during pregnancy, and feed and care for them during infancy, but good mothers also play an ongoing role in the lives of their children, whether they are adolescents, teenagers, young adults, or even adults with children of their own.

    While the role of motherhood changes and develops, the love, care, nurture, and encouragement a good mother gives never ceases.

    Being a mother is a very important role that the Lord chooses to give to many women. A Christian mother is told to love her children (Titus 2:4), in part so that she does not bring reproach on the Lord and on the Savior whose name she bears. 

    The Greek word philoteknos used in Titus 2:4 in reference to mothers loving their children, represents a special kind of “mother love.” The idea that flows out of this word is that of caring for their children, nurturing them, affectionately embracing them, meeting their needs, and tenderly befriending each one as a unique gift from the hand of God. 
    Motherhood is not a chore or unpleasant task.

    Several things are commanded of Christian mothers AND FATHERS in God’s Word:

    Availability – morning, noon, and night (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

    Involvement – interacting, discussing, thinking, and processing life together (Ephesians 6:4)

    Teaching – the Scriptures and a biblical worldview (Psalm 78:5-6; Deuteronomy 4:10; Ephesians 6:4)

    Training – helping a child to develop skills and discover his/her strengths (Proverbs 22:6) and spiritual gifts (Romans 12:3-8 and 1 Corinthians 12)

    Discipline – teaching the fear of the Lord, drawing the line consistently, lovingly, firmly (Ephesians 6:4; Hebrews 12:5-11; Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15-17)

    Nurture – providing an environment of constant verbal support, freedom to fail, acceptance, affection, unconditional love (Titus 2:4; 2 Timothy 1:7; Ephesians 4:29-32; 5:1-2; Galatians 5:22; 1 Peter 3:8-9)

    Modeling with Integrity – living what you say, being a model from which a child can learn by “catching” the essence of godly living (Deuteronomy 4:9, 15, 23; Proverbs 10:9; 11:3; Psalm 37:18, 37).

    Being a Christian or Biblical mother is certainly not a job for the faint of heart, for mothers often put aside caring for themselves to help and elevate their children.

    Surely, one reasons why society is in a mess today is because of the lack of godly mothers, the attack of the priority of the home and the attack upon motherhood by feminism

  46. GP, we are living in the Days of Noah … The Bible tells us in Denial 12:1 that there shall come a time of anguish, such as has never occurred since nations first came into existence. We can’t change that which have been preordain by God… Prophecy has to run its course…

  47. Sorry Daniel … You can’t obviously see the bias again woman in GP’s statement … What does the Bible tells us about the man/husband: he who fines a wife fines a good thing and obtain the favour of the Lord: Husbands do not be harsh with your wives: husbands love your wives as Christ love the church… I am the first to admit that we men do not get it when it comes to a women….she was created to be our helper …God saw that we men didn’t have all together …and what we men have failed to understand is the fact that the two of us are one in essence… What did God said in Genesis: it is not good for a man to be alone: and that two are better than one…this is wisdom not and not your cheap secular education….

  48. Georgie Porgie

    Show me any scripture in the Bible where God instruct the wife to love her husband, and I will stop post on BU … Women men do not need love from you …what a man really needs is respect and appreciation …





    FOR THIS DEED GOD PUT A PUNISHMENT PUN DE WOMAN CF GENESIS 3;16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”





    1 PETER 3 1 TEACHES Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;








  50. RE Georgie Porgie

    Show me any scripture in the Bible where God instruct the wife to love her husband, and I will stop post on BU

    Titus 2:3-5 King James Version
    3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

    4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

    5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

    to love their husbands,
    to love their children,
    obedient to their own husbands


  51. Georgie Porgie

    The woman wasn’t stupid … the stupid man Adam refused to exercise his Dominion that God gave him over everything on the Earth and decided to follow the woman …give not thee strength onto a woman and Adam did and suffered the consequences of his error…

  52. This article is slowly moving from the sublime to the ridiculous

    “…can a woman’s tender care
    Cease towards the child she bear?
    Yes she may forgetful be
    Yet will I remember thee..”

    I really dont know which hole wunna crawl out of but wunna cant be from earth

    “…Mother guilty of murdering her children to hurt their father.

    This article is more than 7 years old

    Fiona Donnison used son and daughter as ‘ultimate pawns’ by killing them to get revenge on her ex-boyfriend…

    A woman has been sentenced to a minimum of 32 years for murdering her two young children and hiding their bodies in the boot of her car after the breakdown of her relationship with their father.

    Fiona Donnison, 45, used Harry, three, and Elise, two, as the “ultimate pawns” by killing them to hurt Paul Donnison in the most extreme way possible, Lewes crown court heard.

    She went into Heathfield police station in East Sussex on the morning of 27 January and told officers she had killed her children.

    The court was told she had smothered them with their bedding the night before…

    I will skip the rest since wunna sheeple wont understand but the people will

    “…when she went to the police station, was not able to tell officers where the children were. A search of the area soon located them in the boot of her Nissan car, which was parked in Mill Close, Heathfield, around the corner from Meadowside, the former family home.

    Prosecutors believe the reason it was parked there and not on the driveway of the large detached house was because, after killing the children, she had planned to kill their father, with evidence suggesting she had laid in wait for him armed with two kitchen knives.

    However, jurors heard that Paul Donnison had been staying at the home of his new girlfriend, Alison Shimmens, that night…”

    This issue of Alienation that Mr Kammie Holder has gone to great pains to explain to wunna chvunts here, seems to be lost on all thd sheeple especially Lexicunt!!

    Let me break it down for you.

    1…I foop you and you get breed
    2…you have my child
    3…I realize dat one moment of pleasure is a lifetime of pain if I stay wid your chvunt
    4…I move to shy$e on
    5…I love my child and feel that they are my responsibility and must be cared for
    6…you hate my gut cause I left your chvunt
    7…you use our child and visitation rights and everything else to deny me that right

    I hope that my crudity and the story about infanticide makes it clear to wunna what Mr Kammie Holder was saying decently

    This is why I is called Piece the Legend cause I ent got de lotta long time fuh wunna sheeple who just rnt got de common sense to debate simple RH tings dem.

    And need to be manhandled into comprehension








  54. The very best thing that a mother can do for her children is to love their father.

  55. @Georgie Porgie May 14, 2019 7:32 PM “HE END UP IN JAIL LIKE NEDDY.”

    Didn’t Brother Neddy get seven years for his own granddaughter? Didn’t he get 7 years for incest?



  57. Robert Goren, you ought to know me by now … I say what I wish and let the chips fall as there may and you or anyone else could shove it if you do not like what I am saying.

    And at the end of the day your opinion only matters if I value your opinion, and guess what? I don’t give a shit about your opinion and for what little it is worth … Now piss off … (QUOTE)

    The rantings of an ahmaq.

  58. Georgie Porgie

    Abram who later became Abraham married his haft sister Sarah ….Sahar was Abraham haft sister on his father’s side of the family … but as you well know at that time there were not Leviticus laws or Ten commandments so there was no such thing as incest as we know it today…

  59. This notion of ‘ten commandments’ is a lie. A made up story. A massive fiction. Something out of Hollywood, starring Bert Lancaster.

    How could it have been possible for some nonexistent man to go up some hill and come down with ten of the Negative Confessions; which the Ancient Kemetians had developed tens of thousands of years previously, long before there was anything called a Jew, and amongst a larger number of forty-two – Negative Confessions?

    And we have hard, irrefutable evidence to so prove! This writer has seen them first hand at the Temple of Abydos/Luxor.

    Answer – A straight case of, to put it mildly, of plagiarism by those who have written a book, with their own hand, while telling the people that it is the word of some mystery god.

    Since people like Georgie Porgie, and co, rest the answer to every existential question on such a book, which is a provable pack of lies. maybe he will consider squaring the circle by tell readers why the people they claim as some chosen people, in their own Talmud, which is their most ‘sacred’ text, call for the man whose name they supposedly carry, should be ‘boiled in a pot of excrement’.

    Georgie Porgie, the miscreant, who awaits an end times war of Armageddon, to bring the so-called jew to christ! What a sick narrative!

  60. Reading most of the comments shows that many of you just cannot get over the fact this post is not about the delinquent fathers. Let me say this post is about the good supporting non-threatening fathers who are taken advantage of by spiteful mothers and a dismissive system.

    It’s apparent no empathy or concern for that father whose name is maliciously left off the school registration form.

    t’s apparent no empathy or concern for that father who is given the run around on visitation days.

    t’s apparent no empathy or concern for that father who gets a malicious protection order issued against him.

    t’s apparent no empathy or concern for that father who is belittled by court officers.

    t’s apparent no empathy or concern for that father who is told by court officers ” I do not want to hear you”

    t’s apparent no empathy or concern for that father who finds it hard to get a court date.

    .t’s apparent no empathy or concern for that father who decides to walk away from the life of the child because of a manipulative mother to ensure peace.

    t’s apparent no empathy or concern for that father who the Child Care Board ignores complaints because women are perfect and men imperfect to raise children.

    t’s apparent many can’t get past not all men are rogues, vagabonds and delinquents.

    Listening to men and their concerns as well as reading the comments is clear evidence why men feel no one cares about their concerns thus they prefer to suffer in silence then lash out.

    We also continue as adults to refuse to lend the youth a listening ear while setting bad examples then seek to blame the youth who echoes behaviors seen!

  61. A mother-of-three has been jailed for falsely claiming she was raped.

    Sophie Skinner, 25, from Llanfoist in Monmouthshire, denied perverting the course of justice but was found guilty by a jury.

    Newport Crown Court was told the life of her victim Damon Osborne was “turned upside down” by the accusation in 2016.

    She was sentenced to 18 months in prison by Judge Daniel Williams after he said she had shown “no remorse at all”


    • @Kammie

      As you are aware the same view of the matter you raised is taken by the Magistrates and Judges. How is the family court working out?

  62. Mr Holder all matters of this type are acutely personal and all have their own ‘unique’ characteristics of deception and discrimination …it is unreasonable/irrational to offer that all men are seen as rogues.

    We all know that women can lie well in cases such as this so that NOT the point.

    You have detailed what is a sea-change in societal atitudes vis the female-male relationship dynamic and unfortunately many men like yourself will get badly squeezed in that vice grip.

    Publicizing is surely a good form of therapy because quite frankly there is absolutely no way (that I perceive) where a ground swell of support will shift this current dynamic .

    I asked earlier if u were married simply to highlight as u very well realized that such a union would most likely have provided u a bit more legal cover re the school status etc…unless of course there was a court approved indictment against you for abuse or other such alleged grievous claim.

    The simple fact @Holder is that life has CHANGED and with the battle waged for many years by womens’ rights groups there is no conceivieable way that this state of affairs will change.

    Thus it will come down to the personal situations and how they are handled….going in it’s imperative to till the relationship as well as can be to afford the best balance … Thus ….1) get married, ideally 2) or ensure you are legally listed as the parent and co-provider and 3) document very carefully.

    And even then there can be problems as many a married man is also victimized.

    In simple terms women are empowered now and some see a male as a semen provider only and are quick to move on when problems arise.

    Your personal pain is understood and your goodness seemingly also there so best of luck with your battle…

    And BTW that strategy to step away and avoid angst with your child is positive…if the mum is as spiteful as u suggest then she will psychologically scar ur child against u as well but surely you will use surrogates to keep awareness alive with your child and as he/she gets older then u can more directly interact… A tough battle ahead but u can yet win the war!

    Next time pick your ‘queen’ more carefully or be a greater King 😎 !

  63. Kammie Holder

    I hope you read my comment. I do not know what more I can say to you in support of your good father claim and the courts perceived unfairness to fathers who pose no threat. It’s a situation that presents so many sides that those fathers who really care are getting caught in the mire and murky muddy mess with the delinquent and doan carish sperm donors. I would suggest that you start a movement of ” GOOD FATHERS MIGHT NOT BE A DIME A DOZEN BUT WE EXIST.”

    You want me to get my boys to do a poster for you or even a T-Shirt design? I think you have a good cause that you can push and promote in Barbados to increase the awareness that not all fathers are DOGS but many divorced and separated women can turn into b…….TO COURT OR GO TO COURT.

  64. In 1995, the headlines of the Nation news paper read: more mothers are having sexual intercourse with their sons. 24 years later I’m sure this has increased even more; one only has to look around us at some of the funny going ons between mothers and sons these days. Further to this, if you should ask any adult male in Barbados about their first sexual experience, guess what, our first piece of pokey was from some old hard back women. The exception to this, Lexicon got bull by the Cops behind that wall at the precinct up Station hill. Now Simple Simon, maybe you’re on to something as for the bitter old men out there. As for me, I was only bitter when one of the old women I foop as a kid wouldn’t let me foop her as an adult. Do you think that’s fair Simple? You see Mr. Holder, that attorney who suggested that we men should form or band together as a cohesive group was onto something there. Unfortunately, I don’t see this happening in my life time, why? All the men in Barbados are a bunch of pooch sniffing chunts, who think their life’s purpose is to stick their dicks in some angry, belligerent , spiteful black bajan woman’s pokey. Nothing else is important to them.

  65. While women groups and the National Organization Of Women seek to advocate and empower women the men groups like the ones at the Health Clinics around Barbados and MESA just want to pray and have Karaoke I actually support and march with the women for equality and justice

    • What can i say, a bunch of spineless cowards who don’t want to rock the boat; a bunch of old billy goats who are hoping that a few crumbs fall from the bloomers of their women. Little do they know, this is a take no prisoners war being waged against men. But, you know what; come to think of it it serves you bajan men right. Instead of you Billy goats looked to educate and empower yourselves, you went out in the broiling sun, worked hard as RH and sent your women off to UWI. Now your bloody chickens are coming home to roost. I see you Pooch sniffing fools every time I leave my place. All you bajan men want to do is to foop these bastards who can’t contribute shit to your lives. You men lived here all you lives, it took me six months to know this., This is not for you Mr. Holder.

  66. While you billy goat bajan men just want to wuk up pon some broke ass big pooch bumper when at the end can’t help you out with shit, Less some simple ass fool should insinuate, I don’t want shit!!

  67. Kammie Holder

    Start the movement. It is not easy to see 20 thousand good beans when they are mixed with 1 million bad ones. Start the movement. Let the good fathers come forth and be known.

  68. @Whitehall @Sunshine Sunny Shine, I am a bit embarrassed but I have to say it. Fathers 4 Justice & Parents Barbados have as its greatest supporters non-other than females. I have a case of a legal person who called me about her boyfriend who behave like a whimpering billy goat and cried in court when the Judicial Officer belittled him and told him he has a funeral to attend then proceeded to make an order of more than his net pay while telling the man he does not want to see any receipts.

    The girlfriend was so incensed that she called and asked me to speak to him for he took out a loan and repaired a house on behalf of his x only for her to put him in court after he started dating someone else. Stupid man loan is in arrears every month and he cannot even visit the house to see his child which is another issue. He just refuses to appeal via writing the Chief Magistrate or Chief Justice while worrying about his loan arrears while threatening suicide.

    The women are at the forefront of fighting for justice for men sadly most of the persons who call are girlfriends, mothers, sisters and friends. It appears most men only call when the current girlfriend threatens them about their docility and the need to fight to be in the lives of their kids.

    It would appear the majority of our men are brainwashed with the opium of sports, partying and 4 for 10. Thus those who decided to be different are given a hard time and often ridiculed by none other than men who claim they are feminist for seeking a fair deal!

  69. Kammie Holder

    .So you have a movement. Good! I am not really interested in the latter example you provided. The theme of your complain focuses on good fathers. The only thing I am going to say to you concerning why your large support group is primarily women is this- Women really want their men at their side with arms outstretched strong with plenty of comforting words, showing purpose towards understanding where he belongs. Kammie Holder, a good woman that loves her man would go through anything with him as long as he reciprocates that love with kindness and care. That is the craving of a woman and trust me, give a good, decent, solid woman that and you can never go wrong with her love and commitment to you. However, men must understand that what they think is caring, loving and kind is completely different for a woman. Men would do well to study us because contrary to popular belief, we are not as complicated and difficult as you men may think. You men just do not take the time to find out what is our ticking points because most of you are busy trying to find out where are our tickling and turn on points. This is where many of you fail because for us, it is not about what you do or how you look, but how you do it, what you do with your look. That is why you see some pretty women with some not so pretty men. We would love a man if he treats us right no matter the shape, size, facial features. What I would like to know from you is that if only women are attending the Fathers for Justice forum or meetings, what are you doing to get the good fathers to support your cause? I find in Barbados that approach to creating anything positive tends very much to be lacking in quality and good organisation. What is the structure of this Fathers for Justice? What does it entails?

    • @ Kammie Holder, I’m wondering why you didn’t continue with your response. Is it because you’re not about this “Good man bull shit?” For all my adult life, coming from certain women, their hue and cry is about a good man. I’m sure you have seen on so many occasions some fools don’t know a good man even if they made him themselves. Those who don’t care or seems to empathize with us as we are dealt a second blow by the same judicial system that is put there for that purpose can go to hell. When the hell do women have to prove that they are good mothers or “good women” for that matter? I’m sure Sir, you have seen many dogs in your life and not necessarily dead ones. Your objective is raising awareness to the inequality men face at the hands of spite full and vindictive mothers aided and abetted by the courts. This is often done by these players with total disregard for the children involved future well being as it relates to their relationship with their fathers. These women who are only about spineless, ” she she” men who will do their bidding like little pussies should take their interest elsewhere. Some time ago MESA invited some Magistrate to their meeting, the fools got there and listened to that fool spew shit that men weren’t railroaded in these situations. looking for good men my ass.

  70. No matter have good a man apprears to be from a father/ husband/ boyfriend perspective …I can guarantee that he is lacking in some areas of his responsibility ….

    And for men when is comes to a woman: it is not what you do that really matters to a woman … But it is the little things you won’t or do not do that most often causes the problem in the relationship.

    You could be a good man who puts your family before you woman; you could be a good man who prefer to spend time with the boys rather than to spend quality time with your woman; you could be a good man who is unable to fulfill a woman’s sexual, emotional, and financial needs … So when Kammie Holder talks about a good man I really don’t understand what he is talking about…

  71. Sin shine Girl

    I have taken the time to show study the women I have been with and if it is one thing I have learned about them is that you have pay attention to the small things … And other thing that men have also to take note of is the fact that men are attracted to the things that they see in a woman; and a woman is attracted to the things that aren’t seen in men.

  72. Well let me start here by acknowledging that without the love, support and validation of my father, my mother would have had a much better chance of sending me to the madhouse. Also, my father was so not interested in me sexually that as a teenager I once got tired of him hogging the couch and made myself comfortable on top of him. He fell asleep and snored while I watched television unmolested. We were at home alone.

    Not all men are sick creatures and we must stop behaving as though they are. Not all women are saintly mothers and we must stop behaving as though they are.

    There are good men and there are good women. There are bad men and there are bad women. We need to acknowledge and accept that and stop profiling. Many of the world’s worst problems are caused by profiling.

    Why is it so hard to deal with each person on his or her merit?

    We have to learn to accept the truth rather than continue to mouth old time myths.

    I believe that men and women were meant to complement each other not dominate each other. I am convinced that there would be no sweeter experience in the world than finding somebody who complements you in that special way.

    We need to take time in choosing our partners. But in the event that we make a mistake we should not have to suffer for the rest of our lives and neither should our children.

    There should be a system that allows each child the joy of having two parents who care. I have never known a child who did not want that or a child who suffered from having two such parents. Many of our social problems could be solved by making it easier for this to happen. And think of the money we would save in law enforcement and imprisonment!

    I support Kammie 100%.

  73. Lexicon,

    A man does not have to be perfect in order to be a good man. A good woman does not have to be perfect in order to be a good woman. Every last one of us will miss the mark in some way at some time. There are no ten out of ten mates.

    • @Donna

      It is always about the battle of the sexes for some, women especially. How will children embrace a normal practice of conflict resolution if the adults charged with the responsible to inculcate renege on it?

  74. Donna

    How is your comment helping Kammie Holder and the Good Fathers movement? Bad and good are like life and death. Both exist because you eventually will find your self embracing either one or the other. This you can be guaranteed because whatever influences you have had on a social level, whatever upbringing you have had on a parental or caregiver level, your life’s worth will be one of good, bad or both. Kammie Holder wants the Good Fathers to be acknowledged for their worth towards their children and not be subjected to the unfair treatment they received by the hands of the court. How do identify who is a good father or not?

  75. whitehill,

    That is an opinion I have expressed here on more than one occasion. In the battle of the sexes EVERYBODY LOSES. The only way we can all win is if we lose our baggage and examine the situation dispassionately. And that includes being honest with ourselves about our own failings.


    I am currently reading How to Solve Your People Problems (dealing with your difficult relationships) by Dr. Alan Godwin. Conflict can be good if we know how to do it right. Unfortunately, most of us argue like children. No problems get solved and more get created with every word. The book is very helpful but unfortunately it takes a whole lot of work to change bad habits. If I could argue in writing I am sure I could get it right but live arguments still get out of hand when my buttons are pushed. I’m not giving up though.

  76. Sunnysunshine,

    There is no foolproof way of identifying a good father but there are some indicators that discerning persons can pick up on.

    How is my comment helping Kammie? Well there is moral support for which Kammie has previously expressed his appreciation. Also there is the chance that some woman may read what I posted and acknowledge its truth. I am also sure the men here are grateful for some respite from man bashing.

    It goes without saying that I can’t solve Barbados’ gender problems or Kammie’s problem. I think though that he expected us to show interest by commenting and I have done so. If I can do anything else he can say so.

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