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Submitted by the Mahogany Coconut Think Tank and Watchdog Group
Domestic abuse a scourge
Domestic abuse is a scourge mainly perpetrated by men

Once again, the self appointed guardians of our society are looking for scapegoats, to blame for the dramatic increase in domestic violence. They are attempting to blame women for being murdered by jealous, possessive men, who believe that in many instances, economic dependence by these women is a pathway to maiming and killing them at their pleasure! Misinformed groups such as MESA (Men’s Educational Support Association) are doing a great disservice to our country by trivializing domestic violence. Any humane society should have a zero level tolerance policy on domestic violence and there should be a special court to bring these cannibals, who are liquidating our women folk, to justice with great speed.

The Mahogany Coconut Group has called for progressive legislation that will give state agencies and our police greater legal rights in dealing with instances of domestic violence. Our calls have fallen on deaf ears and blind eyes. We are not surprised. When we peruse the media and observe those who have been promoting themselves as the guardians of our abused women, we see the same faces: a combination of political aspirants and those who take up causes simply to get their names in the papers and faces on the lone television station. They have appointed themselves as an elite group, whose only qualifications are some connection, to the rambling political management class also known as the Barbados Labour Party/ Democratic Labour Party.

It is nothing more than a crying shame that two political parties, that have dominated our country for its entire post independence era, almost fifty years, could not have formulated better policies and legislation to deal with domestic violence. The MCG remains steadfast in its position that there must be legislation giving our law enforcement officials (the police) the right to remove perpetrators from the homes where they are inflicting abuse on our women folk. In other words, from the time a woman reports abuse, that man should be automatically and legally removed from the home and an automatic restraining order should be enforced. In almost every case of domestic violence leading to the death of our women folk, there is a history of the woman being abused and the police turning up and leaving her in the same danger because their hands are tied by archaic legislation.

The MCG is therefore proposing that there be a special arm of the state agencies that will have a close and progressive working relationship with law enforcement, so that there is a rapid response to domestic violence in order to save lives. There is no reason why even in tough economic times, this cannot be done.

While the Attorneys General engage in empty rhetoric, we are discovering young beautiful usually black Barbadian women in bushes and bath tubs murdered by men who believe they have some right to take their partners lives. As long as the status quo remains, we are going to unapologetically declare that the state is by its inaction aiding and abetting such crimes. We are therefore now declaring that the murders of our women folk by acts of domestic violence are state assisted! In our system of justice those who assist with crimes are usually charged as accessories to the said crimes. Our collective political management class (BLP/DLP) cannot escape this charge. They are as guilty as the real murderers by failing to radically reform the justice system in order to bring it up to date with more progressive jurisdictions.

Finally, we must state that in cases where the violence is executed by our women citizens against men folk, the same standards must apply. Such laws will be extended as well to acts of violence against children and our elderly.


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129 responses to “Men MUST Protect Our Womenfolk from the Scourge of Domestic Abuse”


  1. Piece

    I agree with you entirely. Which is why to say in response to “I will kill you” – “If you say that to me I AM going to kill you” and you do, is not a position inevitably consistent with the passion and idiocies of the moment. But yes, the defence of provocation may be available.

    The niceties of the situations you describe are, apparently, lost on Island which is why I have suggested she clarifies. And I can’t imagine that David is oblivious to the impressions BU is giving to the world if she doesn’t.

    So many serious domestic quarrels arise from the most silly things – trivial things, laughable things,; and yes, those kinds of words may be said in the heat of the moment. They are not truly meant and I suspect that their object knows very well they are not truly meant. Nevertheless, the fact of saying them acts as a catalyst for more and worse so the whole thing spins and spins like a gyre and becomes totally out of control.

    And that is why I suggested the idea of ‘flying mediators’. Family doesn’t help. Too partisan for either side. The police don’t help. Both parties recognize this since the consequences are incalculable and, in any case, much of what is going on is heavy sparring. Sometimes, one spouse simulates a call or actually makes it but allows the other to replace the receiver. BUT if there is available someone totally impartial who will come like the cavalry there is a neutrality built in which both disputants understand – and the fact of their coming serves to ensure at least a temporary cessation of hostilities. In truth, both parties probably want that but their grasp for power over, winning not losing, is usually too strong.

    BTW I meet more and more men who complain of the psychological terror their partners inflict on them. Whether this is dented egos or something much more sinister I’m unclear about. Certainly they say they want to rent a room to which they can flee to avoid the spiraling nastiness in disputes at home.


  2. I actually know of one male who has rented an apartment just to get away from disputes with his wife, when you evaluate the eventual outcomes, it’s just best to walk away, and that goes for both parties.


  3. I know a guy who went out and got married because he was going to lose his job, he looked too happy to be a professional pallbearer


  4. RR here is the psychological terror, every single one of my friends has been married at least once. All were well to do…..when they split up every one ended up living in a basement apartment, while the wife ended up with a house, support, etc . It may not be physical but the threat of financial ruin can be every bit as painful.

  5. pieceuhderockyeahright Avatar
    pieceuhderockyeahright

    @ Ross

    He who lives this knows it and for him or her it is not an academic discussion. I noted your example/reality of “picking up the receiver” scenario and “the bayonet of words” that either party can be guilty of.

    Guerilla warfare, conducted in the comfort of ones homes, not much unlike that fought in hillsides, swamps and deserts but with even greater casualties racked up in (i) the dead, (ii) the maimed, (iii) the psychologically scarred and (iv) the totally messed up children or as ROnald Jones our Minister of education says “chilrun”.

    An unending cycle of suffering.

    Here is a little left side from the rambling ole man for you.

    There are some, of whom i may be one, with the myopic understanding and uninformed belief that what we contend with in this thing called domestic violence, is empirical to war as well as man’s inhumanity to man.

    It does not lie in an externality like the be-fabled “serpent in the Garden of Eden” embodied strangely enough in the Ankh and other serpentine embodiments universally visible in all religions, but it is a thing that is so much a part of every being – it is quasi palpable thing that takes form and feeds like “fire” in our being.

    Once summoned, like some type of baccu, “larga bless” or demon, it can only be satiated by acts of greater unkindness, as witnesses in the act of unspeakable domestic violence.

    I have examined this rage from very close up, in others, and in myself and it seems to just grow, like embers and flames, fanned sometimes by so called friends who delight in making strife among couples, or sometimes just by itself, feeding on simple inconsequential things (why you whispering on the phone at 6 p.m. when you does normally watch days of our lives, why you hot and sweaty after you come from by you muddah, why in heah smell foopish… you know the ting) something that is ready to delight in “reaching out to touch somebody” destructively.

    The Warrior Elite, the SASes, SS are persons trained to “summon” and control (if such can be said) this rage and fire, The uninitiated do not know how to release it once it is in house and invariably hurt someone or something while courting it.

    Call it Anger Management or whatever you wish to ascribe to managing the manifestation, the fact is that once summoned, for the average John Doe, it needs to be served.

    It is easier to identify with the “I don’t know what came over me” responses and in a few cases with the “The devil made me do it” crew but, once it is summoned, and then entertained, if you don’t know how to release it, you WILL either hurt someone and/or get hurt when others have to respond to your threat.

    That is why the socialization that we had when young and Bostick used to pitch like a boss and tek way all we marbles cause he hands did big and he spawns was massive, aides in making us understand how to control our hurt and pain when we loss dat favourite big toh”

    Grand theft auto and those other cuntputer games kill all of the social interaction cause I ent letting Miss Bostick son touch my $400 Play Station 3 cause my mudda say dat ef he brek um up, he po-rakey mudah cyan find 4 cents to replace um.

    “Bostick if i see you touching my PS3 i gine kill you”


  6. Well Well

    “…Its just best to walk away…” that’s easy for you to say…

    A lot of men chooses not to walk away for two fundamental reasons: because of their young children and their religious beliefs.

    Firstly, their fear is that they a strange wife, significant- other, concubine or woman could possibly bring some twisted weirdo who might possibly molest his young children.

    And secondly, some men honor their religious-beliefs and the Bible merely gives two grounds for divorce: Death and Formication.

  7. DR. THE HONOURABLE Avatar
    DR. THE HONOURABLE

    Women should be handled carefully. Women are dangerous. You handle dangerous goods with certain prescribed procedures. Enough is not being done to teach men how to handle women.

    When women eventually have total control , they will destroy everything we know.

    The things that women do to men are so horrendous , it is a shame. Withholding Sex , Speech and attention is one of the worst things you could do to a man and there are some women who do this for spite.
    Remember that : Woman is man’s natural enemy


  8. [ted id=1918]

    How we turned the tide on domestic violence (Hint: the Polaroid helped)


  9. …so far, Islandgal’s approach makes the most sense of all the different options discussed and the lotta shiite spewed forth….

  10. Smooth Chocolate Avatar
    Smooth Chocolate

    “Men MUST Protect Our Womenfolk from the Scourge of Domestic Abuse”

    oxymoron – it is the same men who are the ones killing their spouses


  11. Bush Tea

    A BRILLIANT contribution – murder the man and incite the kids to hate crimes. You have surpassed yourself.

    Piece

    I guess we’ve all been there in one way or another. It’s soul searing.

    Lawson

    The basement flat …it’s the safety of the cave…a psychic caress and a place to learn new tricks – maybe adopt a cat and listen to Wagner.

    Well Well

    The flat for flight makes total sense. One fella told me he told his wife (untruthfully) that he was leaving to see another woman. The wife barred the door and wouldn’t let him leave. Five minutes later the quarrel was over. Yes, walking away – but not easy permanently. Does it mean a night in the car? And who’ll take the kids on the school run?


  12. Ross
    You would not understand.
    The world is a strange place. It was actually DESIGNED to develop real people of CHARACTER and strength. It is a place when bullies are REAL…..where shit happens….where, in the absence of GOOD STRONG PEOPLE of character, wicked idiots and abusers run things….

    Strong people of good character are those who are able to overcome evil with good and, if needed, to fight fire with fire. When testosterone deficient jokers get involved, talking shiite about appeasement and the ‘rights’ and justification of wicked brass bowls to terrorize the innocent we get the kind of world that people like you and Peter W have created.

    If a victimized women had a real man in their family who made it very clear up front to any potential abuser what the dire consequences WILL be for his ass as a direct result of abusing that woman …..how many cases of abuse do you think there would be?

    If the shiite authorities – such as the CJ, courts , police, DPP an AG played that REQUIRED role in society do you think that women like Islandgal would need to resort to such desperate tactics?

    You REALLY don’t know squat. One wonders what you have been able to achieve in life that required your standing up for principle, justice, or any thing that required behaving like a damn man…..

    The truth is that Islandgal is forced to take such strong positions because of the predominance of she-men like you who need protection themselves – far from being able to stand up against bullies on the behalf of the damn women….

    Sargeant need to recruit a lotta wunna she-she in the damn army to learn what it takes to be real men…

    ….although it did not seem to help Dompey .. LOL

    Be off do!


  13. Bush Tea – the ‘three thrusts’ man

    BT…I do realise you want the world to see you as a real man. But listen. At root you’re a total WIMP – for only a wimp would want to spend time trying to tell the world from a little corner what a great MAN he is.

    Moreover, I must warn you that the sucking up to Island is about the only sucking you’re gonna get or doubtless ever gave or got. So wave your baton as much as you will. It will do you no good. There aint enough Cialis in Bim to put things right for you.


  14. Lawson, duh got basement apartments here in Buhbados? I iz 67 yrs old and never know bout nuh well to do people living in dum after a divorce. Well tuh do people duz move on and find a new partner. Dis domestic violence killing ting = POOR PEOPLE, NUH MORE SEX AND HORNING!!!!!!!!! YUH TEK MY MONEY AND NOW DAT I BROKE YUH AIN’T WANT ME NUH MORE.


  15. Bush Tea

    You have be to off your rocker if you believe for once that Islandgal makes the most sense here. It really discourages me when I hear people such as you yourself substitute moral good for moral evil. You ought to
    Know that everything that is done in this world must be done for the better good of human civilization. So how does the advocation of Violence which is by all intents and purposes a moral -evil, work towards the betterment of human society?


  16. Bush Tea

    The noted psychotherapist Dr. Carl Jung once wrote that,” For ever good that comes into the world, there is a corresponding evil.” And it is a shame how in our present time and age, how we have become desensitized to what constitutes the moral good. I am making any sense here because I am troubles by the course our world has taken? Bring back the morality that once defined a well ordered society.


  17. @ Ross
    How is it even possible for you to be so clueless…?
    Have you ANY idea what Bushie does or did in this world….?
    …what? …You researched “Bush Tea” on google…?
    ….look ….just stay in your basement pad and chill – do…!

    @ Dompey
    Haul..! 🙂
    …can’t wait for ac to come and take back her rightful BU role…


  18. Good mawning all and de sweetest good mawning to Bushie. Bushie much thanks for your insightful support and response to those abusers like Rosshole and de Donkey!

    Bushie what many here don’t realise is that domestic abusers are BULLIES. They are no different from schoolyard bullies or political bullies. The seek the weaker person to dominate intimidate and physically and mentally abuse. The cruelty that is exposed to innocent children by one parent or partner abusing the other is forever etched in those young minds. To see and experience the physical abuse on a regular basis with no one to defend the victim is unimaginable. The thought that one day my mother will not survive another beating made me and my siblings do what we did to defend and save her life. And it worked, my father NEVER attempted to hit her after hitting her for 17+ years. Yes I was told to leave home and I did so without any regrets! I swore NO MAN was hitting me and getting away with it. My ex tried that and got a surprise and vowed he would never forget that day. I told him to remember that when he raises his hand at another woman. You will have arguments in relationships and marriages, BUT that doesn’t give anyone the right to hit the other person because you disagree with them.
    Rosshole all that talk bout Bushie trying to suck up to me because he defending me is sooo typical of men like you (closet abusers) and who only see women as chattel. Not that Bushie ent gine try a ting or two but I will know when to tek out muh 2×4.


  19. De DONKEY tek yuh ASS and park it where de sun doan shine. Up yuh rass wid a piece of glass!


  20. Dompey…….when i say walk away, i don’t mean from their children, but what do you prefer, a warzone for children to witness and ultimately get physically injured themselves or supervised visitation rights.


  21. Ross…..when abusers and their victims finally cool off, assuming they are intelligent and responsible adults, they should revert to their critical thinking skills.


  22. Bush Tea poses a question to Robert Ross on March 20, 2014 at 7:06 AM:

    “@ Ross … Have you ANY idea what Bushie does or did in this world….?”

    A pimp?


  23. But, obviously, a very MANLY pimp. A scar on the cheek just like mine as a permanent reminder of violence in younger lives. A manly pimp with a manly eye-patch and a manly swagger. A gun and a cutlass always to hand. Let’s throw in an old timber leg there, to complete the picture. And we’ll just add a little parrot on the right shoulder. Perfect.

    Shyte, man, you’re not a pimp. You’re a fecking pirate! And a MANLY one, too.

    A pirate with smiley faces? Cancel that man. Got it wrong. REAL MEN don’t do smiley faces. Did nobody tell you?


  24. Is a pimp not the kind of scab who trolls around on a blog where they are NOT liked, NOT invited and Not wanted….
    It takes a pimp to know a pimp…. 🙂


  25. LOL 🙂 what’s with the J…. Boremann?
    Grown ashamed of your surname JACK Donkey….?


  26. @ Islandgal
    …glad you know that Bushie would try a ting or two…


  27. Plain and simple. Men who beat women are bullies. Note that the way island dealt with her father, and the way piece deal with his brother-outlaw worked. Not all women in the 60’s took beatings or the threat of beatings lying down. Once my father threatened my mother, she quickly pulled a grabbler stake from the sheep pen and while holding it in a threatening position and told him “if ya hit me, ya de’d.” And they lived happily ever after. At the time the marriage ended they had been together for 70 years. I myself have had to take my trusty “gardening” collins into one of the worse ghettoes of Barbados and threaten to decapitate a l’il man who had dared to punch my teen daughter on the bus. I would happily have spent the rest of my life in jail for hurting the little bastard. Now when he sees her on Broad Street he crosses the road and walks by on the other side. For my own self once my own beloved threatened violence. I let him to know that if you touch me you will NEVER sleep in peace again as long as you live, because I will wait until we ‘gree back good, good and I WILL harm you in your sleep. He said “you mean that don’t you and I said “yes” We still ‘gree good, good up to today.

    There lies in the QEH right now one domestic bully who does not dare to tell the police who knee-capped him.

    Deal with bullies one time, up front. Otherwise they come to feel that they can act with impunity.

    Walk softly and carry a big stick (or a *grabbler stake) LOL!!!!!

    Countries have armies and nuclear weapons to defend their territorial integrity against bullies.

    Sometimes a woman has to be her own army her own nuclear weapon.

    *Grabbler stake=a piece of hardened steel, about 5 feet long and thicker than a man’s thumb, which is used to secure billy sheep as they graze in these fields and hills beyond recall, or used to threaten silly bullying husbands. LOL!!!

    Billy sheep=a large, strong, aggressive, male black belly sheep.

    Teach de men, early, early which God dey serving.

    Stupseee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  28. The argument here is a reminder of the other, corporal punishment or not. Some situations require different responses. We may abhor the baseness of a physical response but is it not an option if we accept the ”cognitiveness” may have to be unearthed from deep within?


  29. Man David you sound a bit like Dompey yuh..such fancy words…

    Wuh you mean is that if you spare the rod the damn child will be spoilt…. Just look at the USA and Europe…. Lotta shiite talk about children’s rights, and abuse …and producing the worse warped set of brass bowl vagabonds imaginable…

    Simple Simon has spelt it out clear as day….
    It works in nature……in ANY society of animals, the bully runs things. …and Intelligent beings ENSURE that the bullies are the good guys.

    It works with nations…..THAT is why they have armies….so that when bad boys raise their heads- the REAL bad boys turn up and show them which God they are serving….

    …..but wunna want a DIFFERENT approach with people?
    ….let Jack Donkeys set the agenda in schools, in government, in society? ….on BU? 🙂

    …not for shiite!!!

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