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Submitted by the Mahogany Coconut Think Tank and Watchdog Group
Domestic abuse a scourge
Domestic abuse is a scourge mainly perpetrated by men

Once again, the self appointed guardians of our society are looking for scapegoats, to blame for the dramatic increase in domestic violence. They are attempting to blame women for being murdered by jealous, possessive men, who believe that in many instances, economic dependence by these women is a pathway to maiming and killing them at their pleasure! Misinformed groups such as MESA (Menโ€™s Educational Support Association) are doing a great disservice to our country by trivializing domestic violence. Any humane society should have a zero level tolerance policy on domestic violence and there should be a special court to bring these cannibals, who are liquidating our women folk, to justice with great speed.

The Mahogany Coconut Group has called for progressive legislation that will give state agencies and our police greater legal rights in dealing with instances of domestic violence. Our calls have fallen on deaf ears and blind eyes. We are not surprised. When we peruse the media and observe those who have been promoting themselves as the guardians of our abused women, we see the same faces: a combination of political aspirants and those who take up causes simply to get their names in the papers and faces on the lone television station. They have appointed themselves as an elite group, whose only qualifications are some connection, to the rambling political management class also known as the Barbados Labour Party/ Democratic Labour Party.

It is nothing more than a crying shame that two political parties, that have dominated our country for its entire post independence era, almost fifty years, could not have formulated better policies and legislation to deal with domestic violence. The MCG remains steadfast in its position that there must be legislation giving our law enforcement officials (the police) the right to remove perpetrators from the homes where they are inflicting abuse on our women folk. In other words, from the time a woman reports abuse, that man should be automatically and legally removed from the home and an automatic restraining order should be enforced. In almost every case of domestic violence leading to the death of our women folk, there is a history of the woman being abused and the police turning up and leaving her in the same danger because their hands are tied by archaic legislation.

The MCG is therefore proposing that there be a special arm of the state agencies that will have a close and progressive working relationship with law enforcement, so that there is a rapid response to domestic violence in order to save lives. There is no reason why even in tough economic times, this cannot be done.

While the Attorneys General engage in empty rhetoric, we are discovering young beautiful usually black Barbadian women in bushes and bath tubs murdered by men who believe they have some right to take their partners lives. As long as the status quo remains, we are going to unapologetically declare that the state is by its inaction aiding and abetting such crimes. We are therefore now declaring that the murders of our women folk by acts of domestic violence are state assisted! In our system of justice those who assist with crimes are usually charged as accessories to the said crimes. Our collective political management class (BLP/DLP) cannot escape this charge. They are as guilty as the real murderers by failing to radically reform the justice system in order to bring it up to date with more progressive jurisdictions.

Finally, we must state that in cases where the violence is executed by our women citizens against men folk, the same standards must apply. Such laws will be extended as well to acts of violence against children and our elderly.


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129 responses to “Men MUST Protect Our Womenfolk from the Scourge of Domestic Abuse”


  1. What about verbal abuse? It is BU’s observation many womenfolk are guilty of this variety of abuse.


  2. David

    I do not see the illegality in verbal abuse, unless it is accompany by threats to do bodily harm.


  3. David, to incessantly call one’s wife a bitch is verbal abuse but punishable by the law.


  4. That should have been not punishable by the law sorry.


  5. women have to stop provoking the men
    men got to stop beating the women


  6. If men feel provoked to hit a woman then leff out de wimmen and tek man instead.


  7. Utterly shameful but typically witless response by commenter “islandgal246”. What kind of mind makes such effort, and spends so much time, to trivialize a very real and very grave problem?


  8. David, a lot of women are guilty of emotional and psychological abuse, which can be punishable by the law in some cases.


  9. David of BU

    Since you really want us to believe you are an expert in this area then help us to decipher this one :

    What type of violence would you define it as , the purported acts, that Mia Mottley often inflict on the young women of Bush Hall and Suckers Alley ?

    Is it Domestic , Bombastic or Caustic violence ?


  10. David

    I think you should give some serious thought to curtailing Islandgal’s privileges on the blog. She seems to think that just because she is a staunch proponent of the prevailing political worldview here, that she is at liberty to say and do as she please without impunity.

    Moreover, David, I must say, I was quite surprised at your silence-when you allowed Islandgal to advocated for a solution-violence to domestic violence. But I’ve also noticed that you’re quick to excoriate as well as repudiate those persons who are the opponents of the prevailing political worldview on the blog.


  11. Donkey and Bowoman…….Don’t come playing hoity toity wid wunna foolishness bot hey. David and the BU family are fully aware of my stand on violence against women. This is not the first posting about it nor would it be the last. Donkey you walking on thin ice so mind yuh business yuh ASININE fool. Bowoman MYOB as well!


  12. David is absolutely right to raise the issue of provocative verbal violence which amounts to psychological violence. It can be far more devastating in itself, more enduring and inflicted more often than other forms. How do you legislate against it? I don’t think you can (we are not talking about verbal assaults). So what to do? The point is that ‘domestic violence’ is not one-way traffic.


  13. There is no right for a man to hit/injure/kill a woman nor it is right for a woman to do it to a man.However, while men MUST learn self-control and conflict resolution, women MUST also learn not to provoke men. I’ve known of cases where married women living in the house with their husbands and their side-man coming and collecting them from the house, even with the husband at home. I’ve heard of a case where a married woman said “even when she’s wrong, she’s right, because if her husband don’t admit he’s wrong he wouldn’t get any pussycat”. That is tantamount to prositution. The simple thing is, if two can’t agree, just call it quits and find another partner


  14. islandgal246 on March 18, 2014 at 4:51 PM:

    “Donkey and Bowomanโ€ฆโ€ฆ.Donโ€™t come playing hoity toity wid wunna foolishness bot hey. David and the BU family are fully aware of my stand on violence against women.”

    Who, actually, cares whether “David” is “fully aware” of your stand on violence against women? Why is that even a consideration? “David” knows about it? Who gives a sh@t? You’re writing for a global public.

    Jesus H. Christ. Grow the phuck up.


  15. Islandgal, I’ve learned how to changed as well as to hid my IP address. I am a forward thinker gal but keep on underestimating my intellectual artifacts.


  16. In the light of June Boy’s remarks, I ask again – ‘Is there love in the Caribbean?’


  17. islandgal246 | March 18, 2014 at 3:00 PM |

    If men feel provoked to hit a woman then leff out de wimmen and tek man instead.

    No Islandgal246. Leff out the provocateur and find another woman. There are good women. You just have to keep looking until you find one.


  18. Dompey…well I wish you’d tell me how to do it.

    You know …in all this and apart from sage advice which we’re all good at, it’s only Dompey and RR who have made any concrete suggestions to confront the curse we know as ‘domestic violence’. Without that, we are just ‘mouthing’ – in one case violently mouthing in the context of what we call the ‘BU Family’. Interesting.

    I wonder to what extent we’re talking about ‘marriages’ as distinct from ‘living together’.


  19. Verbal/ psychological abuse can cause negative and long term effects: Recca Sedwick 12 jumped from a third – story cement plant structure in Central Florida after being verbally and physically bullied throughout 2012 and 2013. Twoย girls were arrested in connection with her death and charged with aggravated stalking.


  20. dompey i would not agree with your ascertion on how social scientist would define abusive woman . There is overwhelming evidence to support that a lack of self esteem is a powerful force which drives woman to be attracted to dominant partners


  21. Ross
    Ross, just Google it ….but it could possibly compromise the confidentiality that is associated with the collection of your information. All of your information going into a single holding area….known only to you and the holder of the information.


  22. Jezzebel

    There is some truth in your hypothesis but how would you defined the majority women in my mother’s generation who sat around and took the physical abuse? Were these women lacking in self esteem or were their the products of culture and time? I do not think it is fair to point one common- denominator, to characterized the dysfunctional predispositions in women who allow men to physically brutalized them.


  23. Jezzebel

    I thought when you logged your first blog above that you were on to something. I’m now sure you are.

    Thing is people – men and women – seem to go for certain ‘types’. EG some men go for short, slim women. Now short people tend, tend, to be feisty and quarrelsome – I suppose to make up for lack of height and so, again, a feeling of inferiority. The sensitive, wimpish male finds that very hard to deal with yet at the same time wants to be a bottom to smack.. He holds back from violence until, apparently, he spontaneously leaps to loose his chains. Then a single ‘knockout’. I wonder whether if you did a survey of such men you would find that their mothers were short and slim too.

    Some women, as you suggest, go for low-life dumbheads. It’s a kind of turn on. BUT the reason is the low self-esteem you mention. The female feels superior to the low-lifer and so boosts her self-esteem – but then gets knocked around in the process, or gets horned regularly until she can take it no longer and moves on – to the next low-lifer.

    If anyone is interested in types, there’s a good book (part of a series) by a fella called Jay Carter entitled ‘Nasty Women’ (and another, ‘Nasty Men’). I wish I’d read it when I was much younger. Err….

    Dompey

    Thank you.


  24. J Bowoman ……phuck off and kiss your BIG TOE!


  25. Jezzebel

    There is a contemporary hypothesis out there which gives voice to the view that: a lot of these dysfuntional women who are attracted to abusive men; do so because deep down inside their think that their can change them.


  26. Jezzebel

    I should have added that if a girl goes for low-lifers the relationship with the sensitive, intelligent (if boring) male is doomed to failure. She will horn him for the low-lifer. He doesn’t boost her self-esteem. Quite the reverse. It’s the low-lifer that gives her her kicks.


  27. “slandgal, Iโ€™ve learned how to changed as well as to hid my IP address. I am a forward thinker gal but keep on underestimating my intellectual artifacts.”

    Mark aka Donkey David will fix you soon keep playing games you IDIOT!


  28. Dompey

    She will know of his reputation but he wont let her see the real REAL until it’s too late, until he’s ‘got’ her and there’s no-one to hoodwink. Does it mean that some women are simply ‘fools’, or just ‘overly-motherly’, or obsessed with their own power-over? Or what?


  29. ‘David will fix you soon’

    Island – what are you saying exactly? And is this something we should all know?


  30. Islandgal

    I am quite sure David is cognizant of the fact that your conduct is exceedingly well – bred and gives no outward sign of inward strife. Wow! That which is woven in ignorance, gal must be weaved in enlightenment. Lol


  31. There are some professional women who don’t want a man that can demand some attention, so they go for simple well endowed young men they call “boy toys”. They lavish them with gifts but are not seen with them in public. the problem comes when this “boy toy” see someone else moving in on his “property” and he can become violent. While he is wrong, the woman is who made him into what he is and is just as guity as the “boy toy”.


  32. @ dompey
    “There is some truth in your hypothesis but how would you defined the majority women in my motherโ€™s generation who sat around and took the physical abuse? Were these women lacking in self esteem or were their the products of culture and time? I do not think it is fair to point one common- denominator, to characterized the dysfunctional predispositions in women who allow men to physically brutalized them.”
    In former times perhaps up to the early 60’s the domestic abuse could have been associated with both biblical and economic reasons. Many Afro Caribbean men have never come to terms with the social and economic upward mobility that women have enjoyed and their rapid growth through the late 60’s and up to now.
    The Mahogany Coconut Group deeply appreciates the comments of all our BU family members on this topic.Our Caribbean women have cemented themselves and have attained the highest of offices throughout the region and have distinguished themselves in every single area. they are the backbone of our region and have been since the days of slavery.
    We need to treat them with respect and stop all forms of abuse.


  33. June Boy

    Aren’t we a hopeless lot? It makes you wonder how we do as well as we do.

  34. pieceuhderockyeahright Avatar
    pieceuhderockyeahright

    “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” seems to fall flat on its face when one considers the statistics that state that women (and men) beaters come from single female headed households.

    One would feel that a woman, who has the opportunity to raise a child by herself would instill the values and anger management DNA that would eradicate this aggressive behaviour.

    Sadly this does not happen and would support the hypothesis that it takes alot more to deal with the endemic phenomena of domestic abuse.

    I have to be careful using the first person pronoun since if i empathise with a person by adopting that work “I” or “my” it is attributed to your humble ole fart self.

    Once many years ago, my sister was in a very abusive relationship and after a singularly wicked beating I went to her house and carried a bottle of rum for the boyfriend and sat and laughed jovially with him making him feel very relaxed.

    My sister remained in the room all the time watching me, you see the ole fart, once young.

    When he had had a few drinks and was relaxed i went into the kitchen and took up a long kitchen knofe and went behind him, placed my right hand around his neck and the blade of the knife to his throat and said to him “if you ever place your hand on my sister again, i will come here and slit your throat”

    He never hit her again.

    I think that while we are not advocating violence as a means to address a problem, sometimes as in the Great Book there is a time to sow and a time to reap a time to kill and all the rest. If he had resisted or fought back, i would not be here to tell this story on this computer.

    The point is that women are for the most part the person who is being abused in these domestic violence matters. Many don’t report it for various reasons.

    So when they, or their friends, come to fora like these with a topic that is so near and dear to their heart, they express their rage in a manner which may be viewed as promoting murder and mayhem, oil and chlorox in boiling water, Bobbit, and the rest.

    If you at she, lef she phvcking place, if she at you, get she out you place unless you got a 54 inch chest like Garth and dont want Bubba to be calling you his bitch, ascribe it to experience and left that one alone. For every one woman dat you lef out dem is 25 more replacements especially here in Bulbados where some uh de men is hen too.


  35. dompey! you have alluded to an assumption that an older generation would have adhere to abuse of the same type , here again i disagree ! reason given that these woman posed no real threat to their partners and were content and felt selfassured in the role they play of domesticated
    Therefore selfesteem and the way it was viewed by woman factored mostly in the final result that of raising the children a
    and keeping family intact. Looking back we can question that approach and it’s validity


  36. As a younger lad I used to travelled back and forth to Barbados for cropover quite regularly and on several of those vacations I met several young ladies down in Barbados. Who revealed to me the sort of physical abused they had sustained at the hands of some of the fellows down in Barbados.

    And to make a long story short: this beautiful bunched of sugar, revealed to me that her ex-boy invited her to accompanied him to the beach one night. And as soon at she got to the beach that night, he off loaded a beaten on her that lasted closed to an hour. She said to me that there weren’t anyway to run and no one to called to that night at Browns beach; as her then boy friend beat the living crap out of her. It is then I realized that the men in generation had some serious issues with they two hands.


  37. of men: “serious issues with they two hands”

    of women: serious issues with they forked tongues

    A plague on you both?


  38. David

    Here is what Islandgal is advocating for a solution to DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
    ” If your male partner threatens to kill you then it is the woman’s responsibility to eliminate him before he gets a chance to do this to her.”

    David, as I have said to you last evening: you have seriously consider the possibility of suspending Islandgal’s privileges on the blog because she is making a mockery of BU.

    It must not be forgotten that the malleable and impressible minds of the youths of Barbados circumnavigates this blog continually and therefore this kind of advice is obviously inappropriate and affronts the ideals of a well ordered society. If Islandgal really desire to being aware to the issue of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: she could have petition the government to add such things to the curriculum like Teen Dating Violence which is now part of the curriculum in America.


  39. Note: let me make a correction to an error that I have made before my words are misrepresented. I meant to say Teen Dating Violence Awareness.


  40. David

    If you think suspending Islandgal privileges is too draconian of a measure, then perhaps an apology should be in order. She continues to advance and project this unfair and ineffective representation of my position, to obviously deflect attention away from hers.


  41. To stop domestic violence on women I think a tutorial should be given by that lady that who was swinging the 2X4 at her daughter. I somehow think the man that laid a hand on her best not plan on sleeping again


  42. A ‘counter-attack’ following mere words which directly results in the intended death of the verbal antagonist would, prima facie, be murder.


  43. Verbal , physical, emotional and psychological abuse are all concatenated…


  44. David

    Lest (a) the world, and (b) children reading this blog should misinterpret Island’s views as an incitement to serious violence or worse, perhaps it would be prudent of her to re-state the position she holds. It is appreciated that her views are very strongly held and that doubtless they are rooted in personal experience. Moreover, in the ‘agony’ of the blogging moment I really don’t think she intended to insinuate what her words clearly imply – and I think she should say so.


  45. Question to Islandgal246: Are you married or divorce ?


  46. Rosshole and Donkey …booo hoooo a 2×4 will fix wunna menz propa!


  47. David

    In light of Island’s response, the ball is in your court. If you say nothing, as you know very well, being the blogmaster with power-over, you become a party to the incitement.

    Maybe a gentle admonition that it’s time for Island to grow up would be sufficient.

  48. pieceuhderockyeahright Avatar
    pieceuhderockyeahright

    @ Ross

    How many times, in the heat of an argument we have said, and meant, “I would kill you”

    Meant it but, in the aftermath, regretted it, regretted that we were so incensed to say the words and, in some instances to think the deeds, and in others still to have been in a situation which elicited such words.

    Observe that with time and maturity one may come to a point of recalibration of values and previous actions but that is a progression.

    If i awake and see a man in my house and i kill him in self defence, the mere fact that i have decided that i will not be a statistic for any intruder in my domain, prior to any such occurrence, does that not make the act murder aforethought? That is if i have broadcasted my stance to all people in the public space.

    If after several instances of domestic violence, or simply one single instance, the recipient of that violence enacts any one of the responses that we know well of, and which Islandgirl enumerated, could not such be thought of as an act of passion?

    I remember Flip Wilson used to do a character called Geraldine with an imaginary boyfriend called “Killa”

    One night “Geraldine” made a memorable statement about domestic violence and Killa when she said “Killa, if you have to beat me to prove your love, late at night, when you’re sleeping, I’m gonna take a baseball bat and return your love”

    Sometimes some acts are justifiable, other times there are not, Chris Brown beating up Rihanna or some unknown mother in the 60″s being beaten by de man of the house, it is all the same and while it might not be a regular occurrence in Barbados per a woman responding to a (violent) beating by her significant other, there are several thousands of women who are incarcerated in Amurica and Englant for terminating the threat to their lives fuh passin he han pun dem…


  49. Domestic violence is a blight on people’s lives and should be treated as such.

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