The following cry was posted to the blogmaster’s Facebook timeline by indefatigable citizen advocate Kammie Holder – Blogmaster

Dear David King I may not be an officer of the court but it pains me to have to publicly condemn our court system. The selection process of judges and magistrates must undergo greater scrutiny to assure they are fit for purpose in dipensing justice that knows no bias or gender.

I wish to declare I have come to the conclusion there is no hope for good supporting fathers in Barbados within the court system to get a sympathetic ear, justice or equality. Very pathetic when lawyers who are officers of the court would retreat and be telling fathers that they need to form a strong lobby group to deal with the bias against men they see in some courts.

After hearing the complaints of 3 men in the last 24 hours two in tears feeling hard done by the courts I must reluctantly publicly highlight the frustration of non delinquent fathers. It seems some magistrates and judges are showing callous regard to the complaints of good supporting fathers.

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(Father 1)
Why would a court system say to a father who has gone to court as plaintiff to gain custody of his daughter, due to her mother been unfit as shown by public records be told if the mother is deemed unfit the child would have to be made a ward of the state.

Is this the same lazy incompetent Child Care Board which refused to take the young man complaint serious. The CCB needs a radical overhaul and is it still relevant in it’s current format? This same Child Care Board needs a commission of enquiry to show its incompetence for no one wants to call that spade a spade.

I remember the indifference of the court after requesting to see my daughter under supervised access and seeking a change in venue because of a decaying dog. The stubborn mother said I was lying as whatever she told the judge was gospel and public opinion was saying the man is the aggressor the woman the victim. Thus leaving me with the only solution of using videos in the court of public opinion to show the #UnpaltableTruth.

It was requested of me by the judge to bring proof of a dead dog in a park for it may have appeared that women cannot lie. Oh I have the pictures in case any person wants to challenge my recollection of events.

(Father 2)
When a father who is been frustrated by a non compliant child mother cannot get a court date and we talking about a family court Father is saying to me he is frustrated and will be giving up. What are we doing to our kids? How can any father have confidence in a court system that fails him?

Some of you will offer a simplistic response and another will not want to accept food supporting fathers exist. What do you expect when the Attorney General, Child Care Board, Courts and Goovernment shows no interest in the plight or concerns of good supporting fathers trying to be in the lives of their kids.

Do not tell me about the old men social club called MESA which is a night out for old retired men set in their ways far removed from child bearing age and concerns of men.

If I am to expose who are my enemies for speaking the #UnpalatableTruth and standing up for a principle then let it be, I die but one death! Roy Hurley Lynette Eastmond Laticia Bourne

97 responses to “Fathers Being Stiffed by Barbados Courts”


  1. I am assuming that the father went before a female judge or Magistrate, and given the history of child sexual abused in Barbados the judge or Magistrate thought it best that the child would be safer in the custody of the state rather than with her father who quite possibly could be a potential molester? Just my take on the issue!


  2. David wuunah don’t want Tah hear the truth …


  3. David, the statistics shows 8 out of 10 women have been sexually molested in their life time, and if this father went before a female judge or Magistrate there is no way she is going to release this girl child into this father’s custody, knowing this reality …


  4. Kammie Holder

    I am not talking about unfit parents, but there ought to be no need for a family court if both mother and father are able to put their differences aside and think about the needs of the child or children… But we have a situation where the father tries his best to pay as less child maintenance as possible to get back at the mother, and the mother tries her best to suck every dimes out of the father to get back at him …before the both of them put their egoes aside and think about what is best for the child or children… because in the end it is the child or children that suffers …


  5. A mother who exposing her daughter to a decaying dog is not enough to Constituted being an unfit mother … a mother who is addicted to drugs or alcohol and neglects the well being of her child or children can be regarded as an unfit mother … then we can easily concluded that a mother who hits her children for wrongdoing is an unfit mother, but we know such is not the case …

  6. Piece the Legend Avatar
    Piece the Legend

    Why de a.ss you dont hush and let fathers whom the courts have unfaired speak?

    Not ever father does want to foop dem child like de sickos in America

    Not every woman has been molested by men like you who regale the tales of your encounters with various women as recent as the Small woman you were here congratulating yourself about a few days ago.

    Sometimes a fellow get caught up with woman for all the wrong reasons a he realizes that she is not the one for him.

    He moves on and finds a new woman AND WHAPLAX!!!

    Jes so she at District A, where dem policemens was did do tings to you, and just like that you are molesting your daughter or son, I got to be politically correct nowadays.

    People in Barbados are very biased.

    And if you are a few shades too dark, and the child mother brown skinned, well you dun loss de case.

    It is as ridiculous as that.

    Or if she went University and you only is a carpenter, you outta luck.

    Shut to ef up Lexicunt and let men discuss the issues and see if we can present some working solutions for these 30 ministers to use


  7. Old Man really …go and read the UNICEF report on sexual abused of children in the Caribbean and go and sit yah old ass down…


  8. Old Man you does talk bare scunt when you ought to be serious …no wonder your grandson need some starch in he backbone…


  9. Hear de Old Man … “Not all women have been molested” … Not occuring to that woman on Nakeddeparture … She said Barbados is a nation of pedophiles… You don’t remember Old Man? I gine ask her to put your name on the list…


  10. And finally Old Man …why would the lady on Nakeddepartu e suggested a Sex Offenders Registry in Barbados … if you and those of your liken keep wunnah hands off fah de people girls and boy children?


  11. Old Man, the UNICEF report stated that the predominant sexual abused in Barbados was incest …go and Google the UNICEF report on Barbados if you don’t believe me Old Man..


  12. @ Lexicon

    Are you a qualified social worker?

    Your 6 contributions to this topic is your way of trying to tell BU you have some knowledge of the substantive issue. However, they are speculative and irrelevant.

    PUDRYR is correct that you should let the fathers who have been unfairly treated in the Court tell their stories.

    You said there would be no need for a family court if mom and dad could put their differences behind them for the child’s sake. Then there would be no need for Civil or Criminal Courts if everyone put their differences behind them.

    This is the real world, not Lexiworld.

    Are these stats you presented Barbadian or US. If they are US, what is the correlation to Barbados?

    Is the Court supposed to give rulings based on 8 out of 10 US women being molested? Have you taken into consideration the cultural differences?

    “and given the history of child sexual abuse in Barbados…” where is the evidence to support your claim?

    “read the UNICEF report on sexual abused of children in the Caribbean”……..what does the report say about sexual abused children in Barbados?

    You are giving us the impression that every case involving child custody or maintenance based on children being sexually abused.

    There are situations where mothers neglect their children simply because her new man don’t want them around him or want the former boyfriend coming to see or pick up his children. Or the new man wants to physically abuse them because they are not his. It happens with women too.

    There are cases where new boy/girl friends want to prevent mothers and fathers from seeing their children.

    Lexicon, clearly you out of your depth with this issue.


  13. Old Man

    So you see the fears of a female judge or Magistrate awarding full custody of daughter to a father in Barbados? I just being real Old Man…


  14. Robert Goren … don’t talk to me if you haven’t already read the UNICEF report on Barbados … and I am only speaking on one particular aspect regarding the court treatment of men in Barbados, and the psychology behind the female judge decision to deny the father custody of his daughter…

  15. Kammie Holder Avatar

    It’s pathetic that it’s always the man has had to have done some wrong. Gynocentricism is real in Barbados where we behave as if all women are saints and men just incapable of any modicum of decency or thoughtfulness. Let me say a minute amount of women are also the victims of Parental Alienation.

    Why is it so hard to understand my fight is not for threatening and delinquent fathers but fathers who are non threatening and supportive who want to have a normal relationship with their children. Once the courts get involve be prepared for a long drawn out process that most often than not is senseless, emotional roller coaster, loss productivity and a financial drain.

    This government is totally indifferent to the plight of fathers whose names are deliberately omitted from children school registration forms. The courts ignores this omission and focuses only on the money, if one magistrate pronouncement to a father who appeared in the newspaper, “ Are you the man in the the newspaper? The newspaper cannot help you we make the laws and my court is about money.” So many fathers are unable to attend PTAs, sports day or even see the school report. Edict from Ministry Of Education to principals no access to children or information if your name is not on school registration form. Oh, I will hear that it can easily be fixed by taking the child’s birth certificate and matter solved. Nope! Only the primary registrant can add a name. Yes.

    Some men have reported to me they go to court and some judicial officers caught up in the ultimate power of the privilege to dispense justice threat them with disdain and impoliteness while the women are given all the courtesies. Had to go with a father who was in tears to the Child Care Board who showed great indifference to his complaints.

    Courts by they nature are adversarial and pits the lawyers in a duel of trying to prove who is the better at acting while milking Legal Aid and the respondent if he is self paying. Only mediation can solve these highly charged emotional manipulative behaviors of Parental Alienation.

    The courts of Barbados are totally blind to Parental Alienation and it’s impact of children. A girl child with out the nurturing of a father finds hard as an adult to navigate meaningful relationship with males later on in life. Seeking to be accepted females accept abusive relationship as a sign of love and some gravitate to Sugar Daddies. Boys seek love, acceptance and approval from the block in the absence of that strong father figure. Most of the juveniles incarcerated according to the book Barbados Most Wanted come from single mothers households.

    Many fathers also support their kids financially but deliberately stay away to ensure their sanity from some narcissistic mothers make weird conditional access to children. I am told of a 7 year old boy who is an A student but was very withdrawn at the beginning of the January school term. Refused to talk to his mum or teacher, however on the intervention of the principal it was discovered his father as a detective was doing double shift due to the upsurge in crime and was not finding time for the A student. Problem was communicated to busy father and the A student desire was fulfilled.

    We do not condone any father given any child the minimum financial support but each circumstance must be looked at. Some women and men have acted irresponsibly throwing themselves into a poverty trap which see them running a family below the poverty line. Thus it saddens me to hear a woman having to trek to a court to collect $50 weekly in these austere times.

    Unfortunately the white paper on amendments to the Maintenance Act and Minors Act are so revolutionary that we now see support in kind been included. Mr AG it may not be election time and we know that women are the majority voters please act in the best interest of fathers and children in getting the white paper to parliament. Ignore that it was about to be laid in parliament by the DLP when the parliament was dissolved. Hope this appeal is part of your security briefing today for many fathers are angry if the number of men running afoul of the law in the last 6 months for striking out at mothers who deny them access to their kids. We do not condone law breaking but Sir you inability to act, perpetuates anger and discord at the expense of children.

    Oh I forget this one the courts shows great indifference to the concern of men about access breaches and frustration for a notion exist it’s difficult to punish mothers.

    Who will be the first to offer the goat and simplistic excuse of, choose your partner more carefully?


  16. The matter to be confronted is that children in a broken relationship/family still need the support of both parents to have the best chance for achieving their full potential. The parents and support systems offered by civil society must always factor this as a priority.


  17. Not occuring to that woman on Nakeddeparture … She said Barbados is a nation of pedophiles… (quote)

    @Lexicon

    “Occuring”…… Or do you mean “according?”

    How do you know what she wrote is true?

    When did she conduct a research survey and where are her statistics and the results of that survey?

    In the absence of any statistical analysis, what she is saying is based on speculation…… assumptions etc.

    Lexicon, give it a rest. Out of 13 contributions you have 10, which are meaningless to the topic.


  18. Robert Goren

    Have you read the UNICEF report on child sexual abused in Barbados and throughout the Caribbean Sir? Well …you need to seriously give it a rest … because I never knew that I had to be a qualified counselor to speak of issues of child custody… I am a father of five children…Sir …


  19. Robert Goren, and pointing to an honest misused of words is an indication of your immaturity … the use of words is not a problem of mine…I can use words you have never heard of…


  20. Robert Goren, I could only assume that lady from Nakeddeparture is basing her findings on the UNICEF report and what has been told to her …


  21. @Lexicon

    Give the blog a break.


  22. Ok David … But I want these educated idiots to understand what I believe is the female judge’s psychology for not awarding the father custody of his daughter regarding an unfit mother based an UNICEF findings in Barbados…

  23. Kammie Holder Avatar

    Why do persons take international reports as gospel. Is not some international report saying 1 in every 3 kids in Barbados use marijuana. My informal research and in discussion with Corey Layne who works with at youth risk, the main issue is broken homes and poor parenting. As a person who interacts with the youth and charities some of these reports are questionable. Damning reports also equate to aid. African aid programmes are sources of income for many smart people who set up charities. Just saying.


  24. Kammie Holder

    If the judicial system in Barbados unfairly targets men as far as child support or custody is concerned then focus on fixing this issue, but do not use women solely as the reason for some men difficult in gaining access to their children. Remember…males judges preside over some of these cases as well ….


  25. Lexicon, Sir.

    You displayed an uncanny level of immaturity by wasting 3 contributions to respond to me.

    Also, I asked if you are a qualified social worker NOT a counsellor.

    Take David’s advice. You make believe you know everything about everything. You are out of your depth and have watered down the topic with your silly, uninformed contributions.

    Quite often you use words I have never heard of, which makes me think you are doing an injustice to the word “Lexicon.”


  26. We have to stop this westernized confusion about the role of the male.

    We must come to know that Pachamama has declared an open war against those who have sought to challenge Her dominance.

    For this issue cannot be separated from climate change. Holder is yet to make the critical connections. This is the Aquarian Age. The ways of the fish are dead!

    People, like Kammie Holder, must come to know that what he is really fighting for is the continuation of a male dominance. That is essentially a White-western construction. Afrikan peoples have always accepted matriarchal cultural systems, to this day.

    Even Kammie, no doubt, could have been raised in a household with a strong woman.

    Therefore, all these legal contrivances, as given credence by him, stare into the face of the way the Great Mother has thusly ordained.

    We issue this final warning to him. Should he continue with his aggressions against the Great Mother there will be a severe backlash.


  27. @Pacha

    What are you suggesting, we will have to redefine the male and female roles in the traditional family construct? Is this what Kammie is agitating?


  28. “Why do persons take international reports as gospel.”

    Mr. Kammie Holder

    I have to agree with your above comment.

    The following excerpt was taken from page 2 of a UNICEF report entitled: “CHILD PROTECTION IN BARBADOS: THE NEED FOR A NATIONAL REPORTING PROTOCOL.”

    “An accurate determination of the exact nature and full extent of child abuse in Barbados is not realizable, and this in itself, is one of the primary reasons giving support to the creation and implementation of a protocol The present system, or lack thereof, for reporting child abuse has meant that there is no centralized system for receiving reports of abuse and collecting data.”

    The above excerpt questions the accuracy of some of these international reports.


  29. @Artax

    You are aware the UN for example have people on the ground and access local resources to complete these reports? One should not be surprised if Faith Marshall- Harris assisted with the compilation of UNESCO report.

  30. Kammie Holder Avatar

    @Pachamama, what a load of hogwash. What the hell does a non threatening male or female fighting to have access to their children about maintaining male dominance. I suggest you do your research by talking to good non threatening supporting fathers , friends and family to hear the stories of a broken system.

    You sir are part of the gynocentric problem for once a man seek to seek his rights against a female many spew a lot of hogwash about male dominance.

    What about the children alienated?

  31. Sunshine Sunny Shine Avatar
    Sunshine Sunny Shine

    Kammie Holder

    There must be some proof that you have good, decent, moral fathers in Barbados. The mindset that continues to exist is that the vast majority of Barbadian men are predators operating under no sense of purpose. I am sure that the courts deal with so many cases involving ruthless men that it is hard-pressed to separate the sheep from those wearing wolve cloths when the women come a-running with their sad stories. From a female perspective, I can say that us, women, can be serious liars and pretenders when we want to be. Especially, when we no longer want the man in our lives but we intend to get the house and car for the three or four times he physically abused us. I really do not see how men would be more convincing to prove themselves as worthy fathers and good caregivers if the women presents a case of physical, verbal, and mental abuse. If statistics were to come forth on this issue, I think it would not favour those decent men too much because that grouping is small to non-existent, in the context of Barbados’ fatherly matrix. My opinion is that I think good fathers lose to the court system of justice because judges and magistrates have to deal constantly with the ruthless ones. Therefore, how can one determine that a father is good, upright, decent to his children and supporter of all their needs when the mother paints a picture of him that is not so flattering? A hard one Kammie Holder, in a society like Barbados where most men see women as meat to eat, and where statistics indicate that in most single home situations, it always the mother is raising the kids.

  32. Sunshine Sunny Shine Avatar
    Sunshine Sunny Shine

    Artax

    Wow. I am very surprised by what you wrote. Outside of a proper system of data collection for abuse cases, are you saying that any information source that is not a proper system for collecting data would be inaccurate?

  33. Kammie Holder Avatar

    @Sunsine, you are correct thus why it’s so hard for good supporting non threatening fathers to be given a fair deal. I have experienced it first hand and have heard the complaints of good fathers as well as their mothers, friends and family.

    Women to a lesser extent are also victims of Parental Alienation all I am seeking to do is to create enough awareness to start conversations. We are all for equality, justice and fairness. However, the cycle that leads to dysfunction in the homes of the males and little girls must be broken with parents putting their silly spiteful secondary to that of kids.

  34. Piece the Legend Avatar
    Piece the Legend

    This is a most contentious matter

    I read Mr. Kammie Holder ‘s submissions ESPECIALLY THE ONE AT 5.07 AM and I was reading 15 different points to support truly supporting fathers and good men.

    Then I look at the submission of My Dearest SSS at 9.17 am and took a step bac BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN THE WOMSN BEATERS and those men who, though they never contribute to the financial or emotional wellbeing of their children, are prepared to stalk, beat, maim and kill their ex’es because they either suspect that, or a next man is getting the poonani

    It is a disconcerting place to be.

    Volley on the left of them, volley on the right of them…

    Then we have the two additional layers of filth to deal with.

    “Lawyers who are friends to the court and biased judges”

    And “a totally disconnected Child Care Board”

    I ent even going to discuss the illiterate Attorney General Teets with his permanent lost look when there are matters to be dealt with.

    I have seen friends who have been forced to take piss tests for a whole year, and attend anger management sessions BECAUSE THE FATHER STOPS THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS CHILD MOTHER.

    And because he weighs 300 pounds, when she says “he does beat me your honour” the gentle giant who never ever hit a woman, is marked for life as a domestic violence perpetrator.

    But I also have seen a Mason, kill his guyanese wife AND BURY HER IN HIS YARD IN THE LATRINE!!!

  35. William Skinner Avatar
    William Skinner

    The efforts of Kammie are noted but Pacha is correct. However we as a society have not been able to accept positions such as Pacha’s because we are so westernised that we have accepted the nonsense that all boy children who get in trouble need a father (man) to set them straight. Thousands of boy children were raised by women in both the family and extended families. In our circumstance almost a hundred percent of women who emmigrated, left their children with their grandmothers and other female relatives.
    Indeed history will show that in most of the villages the “head” and most highly respected were the older women, who kept the men and boys on the straight and narrow. Our women have never been weak and will never be !

    It is folly to suggest that statistics by international agencies regarding child abuse etc are to be dismissed. The truth is that child abuse is rampant throughout the region. There is a view that a great percentage of it is not reported to even local authorities/agencies. David has a point as well when he suggests that international agencies often depend on local agencies when compiling statistics. They may not be always accurate but they do indicate trends. For example, about four years ago, my research showed that girls’ involvement in crime was rising and becoming as prevalent as boys. I was called an alarmist. Way back in 1980, I read a document where abuse of school girls as young as eight was prevalent in a primary school in the city environs. It was dismissed as nonsense. So sometimes we do ignore or sweep certain problems under the carpet.


  36. @William

    What we have in Barbados is a dysfunctional support setup to address family matters. We should be careful not to become distracted with the academics esoteric arguments.

  37. Barbados Underground Whistleblower Avatar
    Barbados Underground Whistleblower

    @ sss

    from a female perspective, I can say that us, women, can be serious liars and pretenders when we want to be. Especially, when we no longer want the man in our lives but we intend to get the house and car for the three or four times he physically abused us. I really do not see how men would be more convincing to prove themselves as worthy fathers and good caregivers if the women presents a case of physical, verbal, and mental abuse.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    This is one of the most real comment I have ever read on Barbados Underground.

  38. Sunshine Sunny Shine Avatar
    Sunshine Sunny Shine

    Kammie Holder

    No disrespect and for discussions purposes, how is one to know that you are a good father or not? Certainly not by your say so. You would need testaments to that claim for it to hold any legitimacy to your fatherly attributes and goodly disposition. Good must be placed in a context so that when determined, specific reference is drawn to a specific aspect of your character on a categorical basis that does not negate your specific goodness claim to your children. In other words, can a louse of a man be a good father?. Can a woman beater be a good father? Can a murderer be a good father. Can a pedophile be a good father? To all of the above, YES! However, judgement will look at the whole and not a singular attribute.

    It is the context of the word good father that can create a myriad of different interpretations that the court takes into consideration, which subsequently, can affect your good father claim. One aspect of the man does not speak for the whole man since a good father claim can be rendered unworthy by behaviour that depicts otherwise in arising situations. What would be your ex wife, ex girlfriend take on your good father pronouncement? Just my take from an estrogen perspective.


  39. Robert Goren, you ought to know me by now … I say what I wish and let the chips fall as there may and you or anyone else could shove it if you do not like what I am saying.

    And at the end of the day your opinion only matters if I value your opinion, and guess what? I don’t give a shit about your opinion and for what little it is worth … Now piss off …


  40. Noticed in the article in one instance where the father sought to have custody of the child
    The judge told the father that in the case where the mother is seen unfit
    The child becomes a ward of the state

    ………
    Actually i was looking forward to hearing the answer as to why the judge gave the father such an answer


  41. Robert Goren

    I am a 54 year old man and a father of 5 children, and I am here to tell you or any other man that I am not the best father in the world, but I still command the respect of all of my children even though I have failed in certain areas of my life.

    And don’t you every again tell me that this topic is above me
    … because the judicial system here is tough on men as well … a delinquent father in this country has his driver license and passport taken away if he is $5,000 in back child support and is imprisoned, and after his has been released from prison … he has to walk around with piece of paper to obtain signatures from businesses which he has to returned to the court within an allotted time to prove to the judge that he is actively seeking employment to stay out of prison …


  42. Mariopas

    We aren’t aware of the court record as it relates to the judge’s decision, but there must have been something in the court record regarding the father that caused the judge to rendered such a decision…


  43. Lexicon

    Will not give into speculation or assumptions
    Since Kammie brought some of the specifics of the case of which i made mention
    It is only fair and right that the a more balanced approach be given when writing the article with rationality towards the judges reasoning on any decision towards the father


  44. Mariopas
    What is Kammie Holder definition of an unfit mother? A mother who leaves a decaying dog carcass around?


  45. Mariposa

    You ought to know that there is a bond between mother and child that no man can understand … she carried him or her for 9 months … So I would think that a judge would take this in consideration …


  46. @ Lexicon

    The link between a child and mother is even closer than that. Read Professor Sue Black, the forensic anthropologist, on a physical link.

  47. SirSimpleSimonPresidentForLife Avatar
    SirSimpleSimonPresidentForLife

    The very best thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

  48. de pedantic Dribbler Avatar
    de pedantic Dribbler

    @Mr Holder, u asked above “Who will be the first to offer the goat and simplistic excuse of, choose your partner more carefully?”***

    So let me oblige and ask this query(s).

    Were u married to this lady?

    If not do u think that had been married that this split in the relationship would have created these same legal issues with your child?

    I’ll continue later…

  49. Georgie Porgie Avatar
    Georgie Porgie

    re The very best thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

    A LOAD OF BULLSHIT— A BIG BIG LOAD! BARE THEORY.

    WUH HAPPEN IF DE MUDDER DONT LOVE HIM BUT IS A WHORE?

    SEEN A LOT IN MY TIME

    IT GOES BOTH WAYS

  50. Georgie Porgie Avatar
    Georgie Porgie

    One of the things lacking in contemporary society and that ought to be taught in the church is given in Titus 2:3-5 where we see that the older women are to teach our young women.  

    Titus 2:3-5

    The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
     That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
     To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

    THE KEY WORD IN VERSE 5 IS “OWN”
    THEY GOT A LOT OF WOMEN IN BIM WHO DO NOT LOVE their husbands OR their children

    MOST ARE OBEDIENT TO SOME BODY ELSE’S HUSBAND………….BUT NOT THEIR OWN HUSBAND

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