est. 2007

Barbados Underground

Bringing News and Opinions to the People

The Little Boy And The Flute

Submitted by Charles Knights

When I was a little boy, about five or six years old in Barbados, to be precise in Brittons Hill. My mother took me to Bridgetown for window shopping at Christmas.

In a shop window at Cave Shepherd I saw a small wooden flute priced at just a couple dollars and was much taken to it.

As my mother and I boarded the bus (the old style open ones) on our way home I continued to pester my mother about how much I wanted the flute.

I kept annoying her and went on and on. Later in the evening with no respite. She grabbed me by the wrist and took me out the back door.

She angrily pointed to the moon and said: “young man that is the moon and if I could give it to you I would but there a some things I just cannot afford.”

I never mentioned that flute again.

I knew my mother was angry because she had gripped my wrist so tightly. There was a lesson I learned at a tender age in Barbados and it has served me well throughout my life.

In life there are some things you cannot “afford” despite the temptations forget them and move on.

If you can be anything be kind.

197 responses to “The Little Boy And The Flute”

  1. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    whiteHill April 4, 2020 5:03 PM

    What a bitter person you seem to be.

  2. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    I thought you’d have gone after the profanity, I’m disappointed. I’ll await Silly woman’s response.

  3. David Avatar
    David

    @Whitehill

    There is some merit in your view that some here tend to romanticize that era. The parents did of their best but it was a roughl time for some.

    >

  4. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    If you had cleared out years ago as that gentlemen suggested, the one teaching at Louisiana whatever, you wouldn’t see me as being bitter. Trust me. lol

  5. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    @David…That’s all, Simple. Now I’m done with this.

  6. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    Some of us were beaten at home, by teachers, and by other kids in the streets. We did not grow up angry and hating and hating our upbringing. I went to a school that slapped new boys around the head as a perverted sort of initiation ritual.
    When it happened to me my mother told me that the following year I will get my turn. When I did the bigger brother of the boy I hit beat the shit out of me. I did not become a murderer or blame my tolerant mother.
    Some parents have two, three, four children, all given the same opportunities, the same size of pig tail on Sundays, yet when they grow up – in fact, from their teens – they behave differently towards their parents.
    I have a Jamaica-born friend, a single mother, with four children, three girls (women) and a boy. Three of the children are what I will call loving and kind, but the third (the second and a girl) adores her mother, she idolises her and treats her as if she was in Heaven. In fact, sometimes when the two are together I tell them jokingly to stop the love fest.
    Children behave differently. In London the way boys and girls from the same household often behave is the subject of all kinds of studies, mainly crime and education. Why do girls outperform boys?
    I think the influence is external – teachers and police. But the boys do not generally grow up believing their parents did not offer them enough protection as youths.
    It is amazing quite often when people blame their parents for their failings in adult life, they do not praise them for their successes. Life in those begone days were not all beds of roses, but they were what we had and we survived them, many of us to go on and live decent and satisfying lives.
    I have sung the praises of my teachers at Belmont, St Giles and Combermere on numerous occasion on BU. In fact, I am still in touch with one or two of them. I have also worked with people who took me under their wings and taught me my trade and gave me opportunities. They did their best; any failures on my part are mine and mine alone.
    Here is an idea: how do you expect young children to treat their elderly grandparents when they hear their own parents castigating their parents?
    Or, how would one expect one’s own grand children to treat one after they have over heard their own parents disrespecting them? What goes round, comes round. We must strive to set high standards for our offspring.

  7. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    Whitehill you speak from a perspective of your experiences
    In that era one cannot argue that they were not high levels of child abuse which was widely and accepted as discipline
    However your words demonstrate anger
    Anger which u dispel in an unwarranted manner towards those whose life experiences were different
    I cannot tell a similar story as that which u shared from living under the tyranny of a abusive father who might himself been raised in similar fashion and took it for granted that his way of discipline was correct because he knew no better or was never taught
    It is apparent u still have bad feelings towards your father
    However although i will agree that those good ole days were not all that good
    I cannot agree with u that those who have good memories which they hold on to are glamorizng that era
    Memories are what we have some good some bad
    It is unfortunate that your childhood path was filled with a father who you hated
    It is also unfortunate that u have held on to those unfortunate tales and latch on sufficient and enough to shares lashes on others

  8. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    @ Mariposa

    Sometimes as adults we badly need counselling to get rid of our demons. Personally, no man or woman who does not respect their parents could be a friend of mine. That alone tells me all I want to know about them.

  9. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    @Mariposa, Miss, you were doing so well until that bull about me hating my father.Christ, Am I to believe it is my writing ability that is pucking up so many? Do I have to admonish you people to “read” my notes as the British fellow would instruct? I give up, you lot are hopeless

  10. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    @Mr. Austin, for sometime I’ve been searching for answers to what seems to be a dislike of you by some here. I think I’m close though. Anyway, I was chatting with a black bajan woman sometime ago, she said to me: one of the good things about slavery is that we blacks got to know Jesus Christ. I think this woman was your sister. Now you glamorized physical abuse because you got to wear shinny patent leather to cawmere..Maybe Willie Lynch was your ancestors’ Master.

  11. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    Glamorise

    ?????????

  12. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    robert lucasApril 4, 2020 3:27 PM

    Today, the Public Health people would scream blue murder at the fact that time/temperature conditions were being violated. Children of my era had a better developed immune system. We played a lot more and ate all sorts of suspect foods that built up the immune system..

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    These days the experts have made me feel uncomfortable for doing what my parents did in my childhood. On Sundays we would cook and be finished by midday. The food was never refrigerated until seven o’ clock or so when we had all eaten a second share. We used to take food to picnics that had been cooked early in the morning, return around six ‘o clock in the evening and eat the leftovers. We used to take sandwiches to school, leave some back in our hurry to play and eat it after school. We NEVER got food poisoning.

    I have often wondered why this is so.

    Truth be told I still don’t throw my food away if perchance I forget to put it up in the recommended time. If it’s been out for way more than is recommended I eat it but do not give it to my son. But yes I do feed him food that has been out for more than the recommended time with no ill effects.

  13. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    whiteHillApril 4, 2020 6:14 PM

    @Mariposa, Miss, you were doing so well until that bull about me hating my father.Christ, Am I to believe it is my writing ability that is pucking up so many?

    Oh sorry i misinterpret your writing as hating your father
    Glad to know that you had and still have plenty love for your father
    Ghee golly my bad
    Your father would be very proud to know that you forgave him for the beatings and the harsh treatment
    Maybe he might even overlook
    the years of anger which u shared with us about him
    Maybe if he was still around come close to u and give u a pat on the back and say “dat uh boy”
    Peace and out
    Thanks for sharing your good memories about your father

  14. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    Speaking of Fathers i am going to glamorize my
    I always had great memories of my father
    He was a seaman and on those rare occasions when he came home as a child i became mesmerized by him being there even giving up.playing with my childhood friends
    There are so many good memories i had with him
    I remember him to be a good kite maker on those Easter occasions when he made it home his sunday treats taking us through the country side
    His longer years he spent in England as a good provider and yet had the ability to make his presence known with his constant letter writing and his beautiful birthday and holiday cards and strong yet sweet discipline inquiries about us and towards us
    It would take hours of my explaining what a wonderful person he was
    So much so that during my years of dating i always look for certain qualities in a person which was like his

  15. David Avatar
    David

    There are many stories of that era of domestic abuse, incest and other undesirable and abnormal behaviors in the household that were ignored because the man was the sole breadwinner. It was not all a bed of roses as some here making out.

  16. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    David But all speak about their own experience
    Not all experiences are the same
    David how about yours
    Why dont u share

  17. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    @ Mariposa

    I know you are from town. Few seamen came from outside St Michael. Is it the Bayland, the centre of Bajan seafarers?

  18. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    Hal i lived closer to the bay st. Area just a few houses down from Robert lucas
    Brownes beach was my play ground more often than not

  19. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    There is a “What’s App” allegedly circulating depicting the treatment meted out to black customers vis-à-vis white customers at the “People’s Market”. Blacks are allegedly shown in long lines waiting to enter the establishment through the front entrances. The App also depicts the white entering the establishment through the back entrances. There is no lining up in the latter instance. Apparently the blacks were the recipients of some uncivil language.

    I felt that it was appropriate to list this posting under this particular Blog. It is surprising that none of the contributors to BU has seen it fit to comment on the “What’s App” post. Black Barbadians should learn a lesson from this episode. They should shop at black businesses only. Two months of doing so would result in a change in treatment. Blacks hold the power purchasing power. I shop where ever only at black business places.

  20. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    @ Mariposa

    I suspected you did. The moment you said your dad was a seaman. Which company?

    @ Robert

    Why am I not surprised at your post. Sometime ago I said there was a food crisis coming and government should take charge and control the distribution of food. It is for this very reason that I said that. If government does not, the supermarket owners will discriminate in the distribution.
    Yet, when I said that, one of the village idiots came on and said that government knew nothing about food distribution. It is the Bajan Condition.
    @ Robert, let us take it a little further. Life is about ethical choices and at some point (although I hope not) doctors will be asked to make a decision about who should live and who should die.
    Will these decisions be made on the ground of race, age, gender, sexuality, occupation, etc? Who decides? Doctors will tell you that they ought to be the ones, and their decisions will be based on practice-based evidence. In other words, they have the clinical expertise to make life or death decisions.
    Now is the time to raise these issues and we must. We have already normalised a trick by doctors when a patient goes in to hospital for surgery doctors wait until the patient is in the surgery, waiting to under aesthetic, to ask them to sign a legal disclaimer.
    One tried that with me once and I said no. I had to read the fine print first. They went berserk.
    @Robert, do like me, appoint someone with authority to make decision as your medical power of attorney.

  21. David Avatar
    David

    @Dr. Lucas

    We know there have been several voice notes circulated that have been proved to be false.

  22. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    @ David April 5, 2020 9:42 AM

    Are you doubting the veracity of the “What’s App?” I know that a lot of fake news circulate on the Web. This is Barbados, a country where Apartheid is the norm. It is the Barbadian condition to overlook the situation and act as though it doesn’t exist.. Albeit ,blacks have the power to change things. They have to first of all get rid of the black conniving leaders who sell out.

  23. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    Hal i couldnt tell u which company
    I was about 8 years old so looking into that part of his job wouldnt have been of much interest but i think there was a shipping company close to parliament where they signed up

  24. David Avatar
    David

    @Dr.Lucas

    It is a voice note being circulated, cannot confirm or deny.

  25. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    @ Mariposa

    Down the Wharf, It is now the immigration department. I will have a go at the line he worked for. How long did he go away for? Did he fly out for his ship or got it in the port or Carlisle Bay? Which countries did he talk about visiting?
    Answer those questions and I will have a go.
    Where did you live in relation to Martineau’s drinks factory?

  26. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    Upon my return to Barbados some years ago I was very much into spending my money with black own businesses, I soon gave it up as I encountered the shitty attitude of my black brothers and sisters, mostly the black women working at these establishments towards their own. On many occasions These people sent me back home almost in tears at the way they treated their black customers versus the whites, Indians and an assortment of yellow skin people.Before some schmuck or Silly woman chimes in, I made sure to be polite and behaved the perfect gentlemen. I’ll tell you lot a secret, if AC and her cohort Hal Austin believe I hated my father, wunna doan no my feeling toward wunna for being like this to your fellow black Bajans.

  27. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    @ Whitehill

    I rarely use the word ‘hate’…and do not try to anticipate what people think.

  28. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    Hal i dont think he flew out also i heard him mention curaco
    close to bay street aprox near to dr, scott hospital
    almost two years out to sea

  29. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    Whitehill it is not what you say but the message your attitude sends you called your father a knuckle head
    do you think that is a compliment or a loving gesture towards your dad
    i think you were clear in your words and messages sent whether u want to sanitize your words after uttering them is entirely up to you
    however your words and in some instances describing you father were not words that you demonstrate any respect for him or any love

  30. Sargeant Avatar
    Sargeant

    I thought the building that housed the Immigration Dept. was the former home of the Customs Dept. I think that seamen received their assignments through the Shipping Office which was located in one of the buildings near the old Customs building. The then Shipping Office was part of the Port Dept. with an office in the compound of the Deep Water harbour.

  31. Hants Avatar
    Hants

    @ Sargeant, we ready.

  32. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    Sargeant

    For years the office that shipped out seamen from down the Wharf. It is now, or until recently was, the immigration department. I am sure for the few remaining seamen there is a new office. I do not know where it is. Remember, we are talking of @Mariposa’s father time, so that would have been the place.

    @Mariposa

    Most probably he worked on an oil tanker. Which was very rare for a Bajan. That he was out for two years etc suggest that, and visiting Curacao. He was not on the usual English or US ship.
    You came from the seamen’s epicentre. In the old days ships came in to Carlisle Bay and boys from Bay Land would sail out to the ships looking for work. Many very lucky.
    It is a history that should have been written up. Years ago I suggested Herbert House in Fontabelle should be the Museum of seafaring/immigrant Barbadians. They turned it in to something about cricket.
    Ironically, the London Transport Museum has a better history of workers recruited from Barbados than the Barbadians.

  33. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    DavidApril 4, 2020 7:11 PM

    There are many stories of that era of domestic abuse, incest and other undesirable and abnormal behaviors in the household that were ignored because the man was the sole breadwinner. It was not all a bed of roses as some here making out.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    My grandmother told me about such instances, complete with names. She said it was not so uncommon in those days for some fathers to say that they were not fattening pigs for somebody else to sample first or something of that sort. The mothers were mainly under the thumb of the man. They sat by and said nothing.

    I wonder if daughters of such parents should be berated for lack of respect for them. It would be in their best interest to let go of any hatred but respect is another matter. Anyone who judges them obviously does not understand childhood trauma and its effects.

    Bajans, even the overseas ones, have a damaging habit of always assuming that a parent is right and judging their offspring when they treat them as they deserve. The children then get hit with a double whammy – the rejection of the parents AND the rejection of society.

    How about the parents, mainly mothers, who rent out their children for sex with strangers? I know of some of those cases. What kind of person would berate such offspring for being bitter and hateful to that parent? The betrayed offspring would need help to heal from such trauma even into adulthood.

    It amazes me that supposedly intelligent people still seem to be lacking in the understanding of the trauma of child abuse. Physical injury they understand needs active treatment but psychological damage one should just suck up and get over it. But physical damage is often easier to treat and to heal. This attitude is why many people keep their pain to themselves and suffer in silence. The stigma is why they do not seek treatment and carry the damage all through their lives.

    When one sees a person who does not respect their parents it is best to first ask a question – WHY! Sometimes there is a very good reason.

    And don’t go quoting me any Bible verses because I will simply tell you, “Easier said than done!”

    Such unfortunate ones need our help not our condemnation. We need to help them to heal and then the bitterness and hatred will go away.

  34. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Before I was made aware of the voice note when Lawson was berating me for my three month food storage, I thought of his fellow white Barbadians and figured they were having their shares hoarded by the businesses and probably delivered. Never thought they would walk through the back door in broad daylight. What I am wondering though is where is the video to go along with the voice note. This is what makes me suspicious. Why no video?????

  35. TheOgazerts Avatar
    TheOgazerts

    “they were not fattening pigs for somebody else to sample first or something of that sort.”.

    Many abhorrent practices were covered were slick phrases. When a hardback predator was after a very young girl he would excuse it with the phrase “Little pilchards have big eyes:”.

    Some bloggers live in an ideal world, but every now then along comes a blogger who pierces their balloon of fiction.

  36. Sargeant Avatar
    Sargeant

    @Hants

    This is like living in a science fiction movie where a virus that can kill you is lurking to be spread by a handshake, a cough or a visit to anywhere.

    If you must go out wear a mask

    Stay safe

  37. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    obert lucasApril 5, 2020 9:59 AM

    @ David April 5, 2020 9:42 AM

    Are you doubting the veracity of the “What’s App?” I know that a lot of fake news circulate on the Web. This is Barbados, a country where Apartheid is the norm. It is the Barbadian condition to overlook the situation and act as though it doesn’t exist.. Albeit ,blacks have the power to change things. They have to first of all get rid of the black conniving leaders who sell out.
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    If the black people still stood in the sun in the lines after that staked out like sheep they deserve to wait until the humans get fed. If I had been so foolish to be in that line I would have cussed their rasses and gone home to eat whatever i had in my cupboard. I shop at black owned businesses for my food and often at the village shop and mini mart for certain items. And I have only had one instance where I was treated in a manner that i did not like. I made a complaint. Still shop there. All the staff know me and ask for my son. I walk about the store eating their snack eating as I am usually hungry when I go out. Not a boy questions me. I present the package for payment on the way out. I leave items at the desk and retrieve them without question. I report spoilt goods and have them replaced without question. Excellent service. But nobody or business is perfect.

    Don’t know where these people are that made Whitehill cry. Where the hell that is that he shopping? He needs to come up my side.

  38. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    @whiteHill April 4, 2020 6:25 PM :…I was chatting with a black bajan woman sometime ago, she said to me: one of the good things about slavery is that we blacks got to know Jesus Christ.”

    I hope that you told that idiot that there was nothing good about slavery, and that if Jesus Christ wanted to know us he knew exactly where we were being held in inhumane bondage.

  39. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    Hal
    Thanks for bringing me a little closer into my father’s livelihood
    My mom was domesticated housewife never had to work outside the home and gave the appearance of contentment
    Therefore i never questioned much details about my father
    But by all accounts he was a good provider and father
    His years in England never gave us or my mother a thought of him abandoning the family and he did not
    So yes i can say i felt rich emotionally as a child a richness that few children can boast of

  40. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    @Donna, what if because on those occasions when I was stopped by white cops and they treated me in a professional manner, am I now to declare that “:Black lives matter” is rubbish because of my experiences? Are you sure you’re not taking a jab at me because I alluded to my bad experiences being at the hands of black Bajan women? I’ll have you know, this not all about me, I have stood in lines behind others and witnessed the better treatment meted to those of non African ancestry, only to see the blacks ahead of me being treated like shit by their own. Look, a few months ago an on-line news paper in its editorial pointed out the treatment of black bajans versus that of the white tourist by Customs at the airport. This paper was doing a piece on Liat’s treatment versus the overseas carriers by the various share holders governments. I’ll have you know Miss Donna, before I open my mouth, punch a key I’d would have looked at over ten years of collected material on this matter. If you and other black Bajan women want to deny these things, come hang out with me for a while, bring Silly Woman with you. Oh, when I complained to Bajans like you about what goes on at the airport,” dah in nuh true, yuh tellen lie pun dum.’

  41. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    @ robert lucas April 4, 2020 3:27 PM “Miss Sealy used to sell just before one reached the arsenal with the tower. Corned beef cutters were eight cents. She also sold souse cutters, pear cutters and ham cutters. The going rate was eight cents. She also sold egg cutters. ”

    Thanks robert. A rea-real education in Bajan folkways. I must admit that I had never heard of souse cutters, But at my rural school the vendor sold pear cutters. Freshly baked salt bread and a quarter of a pear. Heaven. I still love pear, I planted a tree for that reason, it is in bloom now for the 16th year running and I am looking forward to October to December when i can have a pear cutter whenever I felt like it.

  42. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    @Silly Woman, where have you been? What makes you think I let the knuckle head off easily?

  43. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Whitehill,

    Chill out, man! I am not questioning your experience. I said that I have not experienced it up my side. That’s why I said you should shop up by me.

  44. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Sigh…. Whitehill, at least by now you should know that I know that all people are not the same. There are some stupid ones and some smart ones. Or some free blacks and some mentally enslaved blacks to be more accurate.

    When you interpret one of my comments as being lacking in common sense, take a deep breath and read again. And without your instinctive defensive stance. Then, if you still have questions, ask me for clarification. That will save you some unnecessary annoyance, I’m sure.

  45. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    @whiteHill April 4, 2020 5:19 PM “I thought you’d have gone after the profanity, I’m disappointed. I’ll await Silly woman’s response.”

    Even though I taught Sunday School for several years of my life, and even though my mother was a church army captain. And even though I still go to church most Sundays, I still managed to learn every curse single word in the English language. Lolll!!! Nope. I was raised in a rural village, not in a convent. I subsequently studied English at at elite university. I love language. Even curse words. It is not for me to stop the cussing. I leave any censorship up to the blog master. I don’t much believe in censorship. When my Little Johnny was 14 he went on a school exchange to Martinique, proudly learned every French curse word. Went the next year to Guadaloupe, greatly improved his French cuss word vocabulary. So achieved native fluency in English and French cussing. Managed to pass A’level French too.

    I am sorry that you were “beaten to within an inch of your life” for riding your home made scooter. Some parents are cruel. Not all. Glad that you were better with your daughters.

  46. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    @whiteHill April 5, 2020 3:40 PM “@Silly Woman, where have you been? What makes you think I let the knuckle head off easily?”

    Still here. Still well. Glad to hear that you did not let the knuckle head off easily.

    People really need to THINK. The old people had a saying.

    Head int just fah hat.

    We all need to use our heads to think.

  47. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Silly Woman,

    Told my son long ago that cuss words are meant to be used when you feel like being violent. A good cuss word often can substitute for that. Now he is growing up and challenging me, often about the slightest thing, I sometimes feel like knocking his block off because his arguments sometimes make no sense and it takes him a while and some threats to listen to reason. I think it is the silliness of his arguments that irritates me most. That happens when he just stubbornly digs in his heels like his father does when we both know that he is wrong. Reminds me of BU John and his obviously idiotic defence of the very stable genius. I couldn’t help but appreciate a well-reasoned argument. It would probably stop me dead in my tracks because so often in life I hear the other kind. Told my sister-in-law just this morning that my mouth is getting dirty and she said it is not like me. But sometimes I have to let out a word to stop myself from something worse.

    Besides, who really decides what is a cuss word and why are they cuss words?” I personally don’t like the ones with sexual overtones because they imply that sex is dirty. But I admit that i have let one of those slip too on more than one occasion. Still, if it saves a physical event….

    PS. Garden going well. Planting carrots today.

  48. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    @Donna, Silly woman….stay healthy, look after yourselves and families.

  49. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Whitehill,

    You too!

  50. William Skinner Avatar
    William Skinner

    @ Donna
    “ Bajans, even the overseas ones,…….“
    Amazing how there is a Bajan and then “ even the overseas ones”.
    It’s obvious that this anti-overseas sentiment of exclusion of born and bred Barbadians living outside the country has taken root on BU.

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