est. 2007

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The Little Boy And The Flute

Submitted by Charles Knights When I was a little boy, about five or six years old in Barbados, to be precise in Brittons Hill. My mother took me to Bridgetown for window shopping at Christmas. In a shop window at Cave Shepherd I saw a small wooden flute priced at just a couple dollars and…

Submitted by Charles Knights

When I was a little boy, about five or six years old in Barbados, to be precise in Brittons Hill. My mother took me to Bridgetown for window shopping at Christmas.

In a shop window at Cave Shepherd I saw a small wooden flute priced at just a couple dollars and was much taken to it.

As my mother and I boarded the bus (the old style open ones) on our way home I continued to pester my mother about how much I wanted the flute.

I kept annoying her and went on and on. Later in the evening with no respite. She grabbed me by the wrist and took me out the back door.

She angrily pointed to the moon and said: “young man that is the moon and if I could give it to you I would but there a some things I just cannot afford.”

I never mentioned that flute again.

I knew my mother was angry because she had gripped my wrist so tightly. There was a lesson I learned at a tender age in Barbados and it has served me well throughout my life.

In life there are some things you cannot “afford” despite the temptations forget them and move on.

If you can be anything be kind.

197 responses to “The Little Boy And The Flute”

  1. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    Laughed a lot. Was waiting for the part where a slap or two were inflicted for being a pest. Flutes used to be made from among other materials paw-paw shanks

  2. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    Those of us from that Era of wooden buses and window shopping have erroneously concluded that such harsh treatment by our parents and school teachers is what made us better citizens than this generation and so on. While a flute here is used to represent the unimportant things in life as his mother and many other parents would be of the same mind, I can assure the writer that what appeared to be a lesson taught was nothing more than abuse. In many instances the parents could damn well have afforded the simple toy, unfortunately, we lived then in an era where our adults didn’t have the vision of their wards growing up to be a flutist, sax, trumpet or some other wind instrument professional. Because there was no one to give me a saxophone in the ’70s when Ace cannon was popular on the radio in Barbados, I made sure my daughters got a trumpet and trombone, I had the pleasure of seeing both played in their school orchestra: one even was on the jay Lenno show some years ago, I knew the possibilities and I made the financial sacrifice. Unfortunately they both quit their respective instrument in favor of blowing others. lol As I look around me here today, I have come across many Barbadians who have missed out achieving greatness because of a lack of a $2 flute or a bat&ball.

  3. David Avatar
    David

    @whitehill

    You have not forgotten we are discussing the pit toilet era?

    Yours is a generalization.

  4. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand your response. Nevertheless, my comment can been viewed as the other side of the coin from that Era.

  5. Vincent Codrington Avatar
    Vincent Codrington

    @ White Hill

    The price of that tin flute was enough to purchase directly from the field a 100 lb bag of sweet potatoes or yams.Food for a family of five for a whole week. Most of us did learn a lesson about postponing gratification. Those lessons are what made Bajans a resilient people.

  6. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    Mr Vincent Codrington, you’re absolutely right. I couldn’t agree with you more. What I’d suggest you do however is look beyond the cost of a tin flute relative to a jill of lard oil and an ounce of butter. In so doing, you may see where a lot of us from that period missed out on certain achievements later on in life that a belly full could not full fill. Seymour Nurse came to my school coaching cricket after school, I asked my father to allow me to stay, the knuckle head told me to find my backside home after school. He didn’t see me being the next Desmond Haynes, Hell, WhiteHill could have been a name on one of the stands at Kensinton today Silly woman would’ve been all over me. Look people, today we older folks like to boast of the discipline our parents instilled in us which has stand us in good stead But, like I said, some of us have failed to see the other side of the coin which was a retarded progress and thwarted ambitions. .

  7. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    Charles Knight many a lesson to be learned from your post
    1. That too many mothers today find it hard to say No to their children
    2. That your mother took the correct step instilling in your mind at an early age that u cant have everything
    Therefore putting you on a correct path of distancing yourself from greed jealousy and a need to create a mentality of wanting everything your eyes gazed upon
    Also past methods of parental training and upbringing which are now frowned on by the know it all intellectuals of our time had breed many societies into wholesome attitudes of being kind and loving to each other
    Now what we are seeing from modern day laws rules and regulations that have been geared to child rearing are a generation lost and caught up in a sense of feeling proud that having more by any means necessary is the correct path to enter
    As a result there is crime families split and falling apart at the seams and the political wheels that say more is good has lost its way

  8. William Skinner Avatar
    William Skinner

    While I appreciate the lessons taught and learned, I try not to glamorize poverty. There are many with the amazing ability to see absolute poverty in a very beautiful nostalgic manner. I respectfully beg to differ. There is nothing absolutely beautiful about rampant poverty.

  9. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    William SkinnerMarch 31, 2020 9:36 AM

    While I appreciate the lessons taught and learned, I try not to glamorize poverty. There are many with the amazing ability to see absolute poverty in a very beautiful nostalgic manner. I respectfully beg to differ. There is nothing absolutely beautiful about rampant poverty

    Not understanding your comment
    The post indeed speaks of morals and its effect on child rearing and guiding children onto a right patch

  10. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Whitehill does have a point. Some parents did kill their children’s dreams. But sometimes they did so because they could not see it happening and didn’t want the child to suffer disappointment or failure and continued poverty. They wanted the safer option. It took me a little while to come around to what my son wishes to pursue because it will be hard to break through, but now I realize it is better to back him with everything I have and let the chips fall where they may. It gives him a better chance of succeeding, relieves him of later “if only” regrets and ensures that he won’t resent me later.

  11. David Avatar
    David

    Agree the mentality/evel of education of people living in the days of yore led to poor decision making. Many families were broke the cycle with the influence of the Pastor/Rector and other ‘leaders’ in the community. Some were not so fortunate.

    >

  12. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    @Donna, there you go! Another aspect of our lives from that Era was the constant ass whipping we received both at home and at school. As William Skinner pointed out with poverty, so many of us also glamorized those abusive experiences with their contrived notion that it did us good . Yes, it kept us passive and docile, today I see so many Barbadians still afraid to open up their mouths and speak up even when they are in a position to speak freely.

  13. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    @David, so you see, this bull shit about the cost of a tin flute relative to a bag of yams was just that. Many couldn’t appreciate feeding their kids a fish versus teaching him how to or seeing them own a fleet of shrimp trawlers lol

  14. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    When I was at school with Tony Howard( at Combermere before he went to HC) who subsequently made the West Indies team. I was much than he at batting in those days. I was particularly good at playing the on-drive, which is really lovely to watch when you bat left-handed as I did( it is also easy to get out to) One day my mother sat my brother and I down and explained that if were didn’t want to be lighter men, we should concentrate on the books. In those. days there wasn’t much money to be made playing the game. The only regrets I have had about that, was when playing cricket later for the University I could never get the shot played. has a lot to do with confidence and I was hesitant about being bowled behind my back playing that shot.
    The point is, one’s parents had to make decisions and they did their best, given the times and circumstances that confronted them. The onus is for one to try to do one’s best when one becomes parents. Leave out the recriminations.

    @ whiteHill March 31, 2020 7:54 AM

    “today Silly woman would’ve been all over me”

    Silly Woman you have an ardent admirer in whiteHill..

  15. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    Correction : if we did not want

  16. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    @ Robert

    It is easy to be wise with hindsight and blame our parents for all kinds of evil. I can blame my mother because I am not a rocket scientist, she should have bought me good books.
    The reality is that those parents in those days had to make real choices, not indulging some kid in games and music, but to provide them with a solid foundation for the future.
    That is why so many, sadly, became lawyers. That was seen as the way out of poverty.
    But, contrary to what has been said, poverty has nothing to do with happiness. I had a happy childhood just running around and playing all kinds of cricket, pitching marbles, setting fly sticks and stealing mangoes and ackees from neighbours’ trees.
    I did not have an Ipad, or mobile phone, oar Netflix, or high-performance motor car. We had friends many of whom have remained so throughout my life.
    By the way, I still have fond memories of @Bajan in New York; in fact, one of the nicer boys during my time. He helped me to get my cover drive right with his balls outside the off stump. I feel like doing it again tomorrow.

  17. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Robert Lucas,

    It is true that the world has opened up for us in ways parents back then could never have imagined. It is a little unfair to judge them with hindsight. Most of them did the best they could. Of course, there always will be the wicked ones who could do better but take perverse pleasure in depriving and abusing the child. It has been my experience that they are in the minority.

  18. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    @whiteHill March 31, 2020 8:52 AM. “He didn’t see me being the next Desmond Haynes, Hell, WhiteHill could have been a name on one of the stands at Kensinton today Silly woman would’ve been all over me.”

    True, true, true. Lolll!!

    Especially as one of the stands at Kensington is named after a kinsman of of mine. No names of course. No names. No lock up.

    Lol!!

    I am glad to hear that you were able to do for your daughters what your parents were unable to do for you. Most of us parents really do try to do our best by our children. In my case i wanted to learn to swim, but the parents could not swim themselves and had neither the time or money for our swimming lessons. So I made sure that my kids went to nuff, nuff swimming lessons. They were not good enough for Carifta, Panam or Olympics, but good to swim their respective schools and for a lifetime of pleasure.

    In my day flying fish were 3 for 25 cents, and in my family they were served 2 for a working man, one each for women and children, and half for toddlers and babies.

  19. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    @ Silly Woman March 31, 2020 12:19 PM
    “In my day flying fish were 3 for 25 cents”

    How come you do not know about 30 flying fish for twenty-five cents. The last time flying fish were 30 for 25 cents was 1971 when the ammonia cold-storage plant at the Barbados marketing Corporation broke down. The fish could not be stored so had to be sold off. My cousin (now deceased) and I bought 25 cents worth and were roasting them on the beach by the pot( I was in the midst of my final exams had three more papers to sit in two week, was bored and came home and spent a week ,was just after Easter). Some Canadian tourists asked what we were doing; told them. They claimed the fish which they sampled (,roast , immerse in sea water after skinning) tasted better than what they had been eating at the Hilton. We were given $ 10.00 Canadian dollars
    It was only after the BMC started taking and storing the fish that the price went to three for 25 cents It was common to eight and ten fish for 25 cents. Then again the fish market was nearby.

  20. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    @ Hal March 31, 2020 11:26 AM

    Well said. How many times did you get out caught in the slips?

  21. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    @robert lucas March 31, 2020 2:20 PM

    Thanks for the correction robert. I meant to write 3 for a quarter. My mother would send one of us to the “front road” to buy from the passingfish vendor. I was raised “far” inland in the country, so we did not get as many deals on fish as the town people.

  22. William Skinner Avatar
    William Skinner

    @ s Mariposa
    Note I said I appreciate the lessons taught and learned. Most of us were poor and had those lessons. Many of those lessons have made us handle economic and social struggles with some success.
    That being said I don’t glamorize poverty .
    Hope this explanation makes my position a bit clearer.

  23. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    @ Silly Woman March 31, 2020 2:30 PM

    I realized that. It was easy to get fish cheap if you lived about 150 meters from the beach. Also had an uncle Harold who caught pot fish. He operated off London Bourne Towers. Ate so many Chubs, Barbaras, Pilot fish ,Ning Nings,sea cats, congers ,ballyhoos,grunts jacks and frays., mutton fish. There was no shortage of seafood.

  24. Artax Avatar
    Artax

    “While I appreciate the lessons taught and learned, I try not to glamorize poverty. There are many with the amazing ability to see absolute poverty in a very beautiful nostalgic manner. I respectfully beg to differ. There is nothing absolutely beautiful about rampant poverty.”

    @ Mr. Skinner

    A few years ago some friends and I were engaging in a discussion and an elderly gentleman who was also there said he hated his mother. Being surprised I asked him what on earth his mother could have done to make him go to that extreme.

    He said his mother had 8 or 9 of them and ‘stopped (him) from gine school to learn trade,’ so he could take care of the household. But, what really angered him was, not only was he deprived of an education, but the fact that every Friday, his mother would collect his wages from the carpenter he assisted, leaving him without any money. So, unknown to his mother, he decided to work with another carpenter. When she eventually found out who he was working with, she turned up to collect his wages. The carpenter asked her if she worked and did not hand over the money. And, in Bajan parlance, his mother ‘put him out.’

    Why on earth would parents ‘get’ so many children, knowing they couldn’t have afforded to do so, then, to deprive the eldest daughter of an education, so she could do all the household chores and take of her siblings?

    It would also be very interesting to see sociological reports of the levels of domestic and child abuse and child labour, in those days.

  25. William Skinner Avatar
    William Skinner

    @ Artax
    It is common knowledge that many of us were deprived of some opportunities because of poverty. I would never blame or hold any malice against parents, mine included, who were unable to give us more than we got.They just could not afford it. The same obtains in many households today. I am certain that there are children who can’t get all they want.
    What I totally oppose , is getting into heavy bouts of nostalgia and elevating poverty as some luxury.
    The case you mentioned is understandable because it occurred in a period, where the same poverty made our parents over protective and over cautious. This unfortunately has followed some of us to this day. There are many very successful blacks, who came up very poor and they can’t even mentally enjoy their success because they are still conscious of the poverty they endured. Deep down they believe it’s a dream from which they will soon awake. I have them in my family. I have many as friends. Over the years I have encouraged them to enjoy their lifestyles without apology. All I ask them is to share their stories with their children. I implore them to teach their children humility and kindness and never to look down on the lesser fortunate. And most importantly teach them good manners.
    As for abuse ; too many children and so on , one would think that some of it was a direct result of poverty. It’s no excuse for those things but a devious man, back in the day, supporting a woman with a young girl child , not his own , might abuse the child. Women with little education and hope ended with children because of economic necessity.
    Like I said , this is not being said as any excuse or endorsement of such criminal activity.
    For these reasons and many others, some personal, I would never elevate poverty . Like I told a friend of mine once : poverty is no sweetbread. I know what both look like and how they each taste.

  26. David Avatar
    David

    The following chune compliments of FearPlay.

    https://youtu.be/v5-tjwO1jDc

  27. Vincent Codrington Avatar
    Vincent Codrington

    @ David BU

    I hope you received the responses you were expecting .Knowing your modus operandi,I am sure there is a more profound message in this parable. Is there?

  28. Artax Avatar
    Artax

    Mr. Skinner

    I understand your position on the issue.

    The child abuse I was actually referring to is floggings children received from the hands of their parents, teachers and, in some cases I’ve heard of, their neighbours.

    There are various opinions on beatings.

    Some people believe it:

    …….. stemmed from slavery and is justified by the Bible’s “spare the rod and spoil the child;” …….. made a significant contribution to their upbringing;
    …….. traumatized children and child and domestic abuse are the resulting characteristic manifestations of it in adulthood.

    An elderly gentleman, who is probably now in his late 70s or early 80s, told me rather than beating his children, he preferred to punish them instead. And, the reason he gave was this.

    He remembered, as a youngster, misbehaving during a particular week. He had already made arrangements with his friends to attend a church fair on the Saturday. On that day, he got dressed and left home after his father gave him ‘spending money.’ As he walked a few yards from home, he heard his father clapping, and wondered ‘what he could want.’ His father said, “You t’ink you could behave bad and still go to de fair? Look, guh inside and tek off yuh clothes……. and gimme back my money, too.”

    He said, “Beat muh fuh behaving bad, nuh…… but leh muh go to de fair.” His father response was a loud “NO!” He told me that decision hurt him much more than a flogging would have.

    I prefer this type of punishment as a method of instilling discipline. And, that’s why I don’t beat my son.

  29. David Avatar
    David

    @Vincent

    What is your interpretation?

    We live in a world where greater value is placed on the transaction versus a value based/people centred approach to live.

  30. William Skinner Avatar
    William Skinner

    @ Artax
    I don’t believe in floggings. Quite frankly we should be grateful that children do not retaliate later in life by disfiguring some adults for the cruelty they , the children , endured.

  31. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    I have seen a family who were very poor in barbados
    I remember a family who lived across from my home dirt flooring that is how poor dont have to go further in details
    The mother was a hawker had about three children
    Cant ever remember seeing them sad or depressed
    They mostly kept to themselves and on occasion would come out to play with neighborhood children
    Never saw them begging any one for anything
    I suspect that their mother had taught them not to beg
    Sometimes neighbours might passed some food but these children were well behaved and respectful
    As for their adult years cant say much but i have never heard anything about the family being in trouble with the law
    Like everything in life there are good things and bad things
    with lessons to be learned
    Cant see or even.phantom why anyone would want to galmorize poverty
    In the same vein one might hear people say there are plenty negatives that come with being rich

  32. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Artax,

    I don’t think he was the only one who punished the children in that way. I have heard of more. That would definitely have hurt!

  33. William Skinner Avatar
    William Skinner

    @ Mariposa
    All economic groups have negatives. It’s not a question of being rich or poor. Too many of us like to pretend that the “ good old days “ were full of nothing but happiness and contentment. That’s why we are still mentally struggling. Do you and others realise that there are people today who are actually poorer in real terms than we were fifty or sixty years ago. Do you want to try telling them how great and wonderful their lives are? Poverty is poverty. I don’t care how many mangoes we picked or how much games and fun we had. I too was taught contentment and honesty. However nobody could fool me about poverty. I know that I was “worst off than some but better off than many“. However that never stopped me from knowing what being poor or what poverty is .
    I may be nostalgic but I ain’t fooling myself about what poverty means to those throughout the world who literally don’t know where the next meal coming from.

  34. Vincent Codrington Avatar
    Vincent Codrington

    My interpretation.

    There are many things in life that we want , do not need and cannot afford.We should accept this fact of life and move on. I do not see how that approach to life glamorizes poverty. It is greed that is at the foundation of most of the world’s problem.The worse form of poverty is poverty of the soul. Some of us will always be poor both spiritually and materially. We fail to move on.

  35. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    i have yet to met any one who have “galmorize” poverty
    This i would say have heard older folks speak of poverty in learning terms or to get a message across to a young person whose idea about life was one of having plenty and not willing to put in the hard work
    Or teaching lessons about saving for a rainy day
    Yes they might go on with repetitive stories but i guess that was there way of making a point crystal clear

  36. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    @Artax March 31, 2020 4:44 PM “Why on earth would parents ‘get’ so many children, knowing they couldn’t have afforded to do so?

    Dear Artax: See below. Before the oral contraceptive pill virtually all women became pregnant within a year or so of beginning sexual intercourse. And if a woman had a husband or other steady partner or partners she became pregnant every other year from about age 20 to age 40 or beyond.. Most people find it impossible to practice abstinence for the long term. So for women born before 1940 pregnancy was a constant. Most women of that era had many children, 8, 9, and 10 were not uncommon. A lady in the village next to mine had 21 with one husband. Another woman I heard of who was widowed early had 10 with her first husband and 10 with the second. My own mother had 6 births in a period of 9 years and 9 months.

    “1960 The first oral contraceptive, Enovid, was approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) as contraception.

    1965 The Supreme Court (in Griswold v. Connecticut) gave married couples the right to use birth control, ruling that it was protected in the Constitution as a right to privacy. However, millions of unmarried women in 26 states were still denied birth control.”
    Source: https://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book-excerpts/health-article/a-brief-history-of-birth-control/

  37. robert lucas Avatar
    robert lucas

    @ Silly Woman March 31, 2020 10:35 PM

    As a noted feminist you have had some knock for males. It was male scientists who made the pill possible. It is time you give kudos to males. The research was partly paid for by a woman but the brain power was male

  38. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    @ Vincent
    @William

    The real battle is against inequality. Poverty is but one part of that wider struggle. Few will oppose absolute poverty, but relative poverty is the real bugbear. There is a thin line between a fight against relative poverty, greed and envy.
    The real fight is against a flawed system that relegates the vast majority of people to be hewers of wood and drawers of water while the one per cent can live in mansions as a large number of households cannot even afford running water or a regular cooked meal. That inequality is what should concentrate minds in Barbados, not poor parents who had to make choices. This is not theoretical. The coronavirus crisis will almost certainly lead to a food crisis; who do you think the foreign owners of the supermarkets will feed first, unless government takes over the distribution of food?
    Envy could destroy us. Because Mr Jones has a new fridge and hi-tech television or an expensive car does not mean you are so poor that you want to commit suicide. Content is important. But the credit markets grow fat on a culture of envy. If you want it we can lend you money to get it.
    Having a mobile phone is now one of the official measures of poverty in the UK; I do not have one and never have. It is true I am poor, but not absolutely poor.
    I think the real problem is when you meet people who are now pensioners who still blame their parents for missed opportunities for coaching with a top cricketer; or not getting a musical instrument to play jazz. I know of pensioners who still bitterly blame their parents for going to the US, UK or Canada and leaving them with grand parents in Barbados.
    Totally ignoring that the lifestyles they had were funded by the very parents who had to tolerate all kinds of discrimination in order to feed people back home.
    I have always loved the tenor sax and in the UK, pre-coronavirus, there are any number of classes I could attend to learn to play; and the cost of an instrument is not prohibitive. Yet, in all my years, I have not been motivated enough to go out and buy a sax and sign up for classes. I satisfy my urge by playing music (vinyl) at home.
    Like most Barbadians, I love cricket, but I am not addicted to it. I get my satisfaction through my love of Empire and of the artistry and talent of Seymour Nurse. Great memories.
    As a Barbadian, what interest me more is the social history of cricket in Barbados, in particular the social histories of Spartan and Empire clubs, and of the BCA and BCL – one that is now clouded by the falsity of integration. That, I submit, is the REAL social history of Barbados reflected in a simple game. If you do not know the history, then read it up.
    Our parents tried to give us an education, or a trade, as security for the future. I for one am grateful for the contribution my parents made to who I am. My only regret is that they are not both still around so I can share fun times with them.
    Some of our parents, and us, got it wrong. My father made shoes and was keen to teach me the craft. But I resisted. In fact, every year when I went to get my school uniform included were a pair of factory-made patent-leather shoes from Bata on Broad Street. My father would always give me a choice of patent leather shoes or hand-made ones. I chose the patent-leather.
    Now as an old man, I long to have that skill. Hand-made shoes in the UK cost £1500 a pair (about Bds$3500). What was more important was that I got a love of books from my father.
    Those of us who hate our parents say more about ourselves than they say about their parents. What will we say when our musically gifted children mature and blame their parents for not allowing them to be more academic, or not giving them the lifestyle they aspired to, and forcing them in to music to satisfy their own ambitions? That they are ungrateful?
    Look at how those very children fight over their parents’ possessions when they die.

  39. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    There are many levels in poverty
    There are those who live in areas of the world that cannot have the same means as those who are living in this hemisphere
    When most speak of of poverty there is a connection to what they might have seen lived or heard talk about in their place of environment and might have been fortunate in some areas to pick up the pieces of their lives put in place a model from which they can make a better live for themselves
    There is no doubt that people living in the worst kind of poverty cannot have a quality life due to lack of those things that can be accessible or affordable
    However what i have seen from those with whom i have interact and considered poor have been acts of being the warmest and kind hearted people to engage
    There is a sense of humility coming from them
    There understanding of the value of life sums up in ways that many who considered themselves to be rich has yet to understand
    They expect nothing from no one but have a faith and a belief that things would get better
    For some the challenges of life seem to make them stronger and rather than feel downtrodden make a decision that no matter what they will do all they can to survive
    Sometimes when one take a look at the faces of children living in nations that have the worst kind of poverty the need for help jolts the mind along with a relevant question of why

  40. Artax Avatar
    Artax

    “1960 The first oral contraceptive, Enovid, was approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) as contraception.”

    @ Simple Simon

    You seem to be suggesting because women may have found “it impossible to practice abstinence for the long term,” they became pregnant as a result of an unavailability of, or being denied access to oral contraceptives.

    But, I’m forced to remind you the first rubber condom was produced sometime in 1855, and by the late 1850s several major rubber companies were mass-producing them. This means condoms were probably available in Barbados before the 1960s.

    Introducing the unavailability of oral contraceptives or having sex because of poverty as reasons for several children, are poor excuses for reckless and irresponsible behaviour.

    If a couple experienced difficulties, financial and otherwise, raising 6 children, don’t you believe raising 10, 15 or even 21, would have been even more difficult?

    What about those impecunious women or couples that recognised their financial predicaments and had less children?

    It would also be interesting to see a report on birth rates among the various ethnic groups in the island at that time.

  41. whiteHill Avatar
    whiteHill

    Mr Austin, I’ll refrain from getting at you as some here have the tendency. I’ll admit now that as far as putting thoughts into words I’ll stipulate now that you are by far better at it than I am. That being said, you have erroneously, misconstrued, or have deliberately missed my point. Yours is not dissimilar to many Bajans who have an axe to grind, seen it many times. Sir, If you and others want to continue living a fairy tale that the Era previously mentioned was a Utopian period, by all means–knock yourselves out.. I stated before that I wanted to present the other side of the coin, what is there about that you don’t understand? Maybe you need to read my ” notes’ again. Thousands of us from that Era had our parents read us the riot act about wanting a $2 tin flute in trying finacial times, today we sing their praises for instilling a very important lesson in us even as we collect our pensions. It’s most unfortunate that you feel children from that Era who are now pensioners shouldn’t speak to the abuse suffered because you got shinny patent leather shoes to wear to Cawmere. In highlighting or attempting to disabused some that the good old days weren’t at all good because of the fallacy we were led to believe that our parents were always right is to invoke God’s wrath. I wonder what is your take on those who were sexually abused, especially the young girls/ladies of that Era. No doubt, the parents being good providers and your patent leather shoes is all that matters. Look here Mr. Austin, I was a mediocre cricketer at best, as for a Saks, I couldn’t blow shit, not even a comb with shop paper wrapped around. Although, some ladies would beg to differ on the blowing. You carry on with you bad self.

  42. Hal Austin Avatar
    Hal Austin

    @ Whitehill

    Thank you for not having a go at me. I am terrified. But, first, I was not addressing you personally, but issues raised by you. I was speaking generically.
    You have now extended the discussion to involve criminality. Those who commit crimes should go before the courts. But as far as parental judgements are concerned, they might not always have been right, but in the main they did their best and in our interest.
    Parents did not deliberately make us poor; it was the system. They were as much victims as us, their children. Some of the blame must fall on our shoulders. A lack of ambition is as much to blame as so-called bad parenting.
    I have seen someone on BU (I cannot remember who and would not speculate) during a discussion on dumping the elderly in hospital (bed blocking) screamed at his parents and said how much he disliked them. First, eve if they did him wrong, to say that in public was uncouth and showed a lack of common decency. Savage behaviour, in fact.

  43. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Fact – there were, are and will be good parents.

    Fact – there were, are and will be bad parents.

    Fact – there were, are and will be good offspring.

    Fact – there were, are and will be bad offspring.

    The way some people are talking you would think that all were, are and will be the same.

    Steupse!

  44. Vincent Codrington Avatar
    Vincent Codrington

    @ Hal Austin at 5:02 AM and !0 :57 AM

    Thanks . You have expressed my feelings on this matter more cogently than I ever dared. I hope the distractors of the messages conveyed in this anecdote,have seen the light.

  45. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    Today I salute all good MEN, past and present.

  46. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    @ Artax April 1, 2020 8:18 AM “@ Simple Simon. You seem to be suggesting because women may have found “it impossible to practice abstinence for the long term,” they became pregnant.”

    Not only women Artax men too. The fact that there are almost 8 billion of us here on earth shows how difficult long term abstience is.

    I am 1950’s vintage.

    When I was growing up condoms were regarded as disreputable things uch asosciated with prostitution. No respectable married or liv-wid couple would consider using them.

    It was only in the 1980’s that condoms in the midst of the HIV epidemic became respectable, became “popular”, became no longer disreputable.

  47. Silly Woman Avatar
    Silly Woman

    @Donna April 1, 2020 11:14 AM

    Thanks for your usual common sense, and for keeping it short and keeping it sweet.

  48. NorthernObserver Avatar
    NorthernObserver

    Off topic
    Was saddened to hear of the passing of Venice ‘Pappy’ Richards. @Sarge seems to know about racing, but he was certainly a delight to watch as a boy.

  49. David Avatar
    David

    @Northern Observer

    He came at the wrong time, Chally Jones won the spotlight.

  50. Mariposa Avatar
    Mariposa

    My home had running water.electricity and Redifusion
    The thought of being poor never crossed my mind
    The neighbourhood children and the times we played games together made life seems as if that was the way things were supposed to be
    Plenty laughter out door games like Jacks and hopscotch and pickup was great fun
    Even the once and again cut a.ss to nurture and encourage made me feel very rich
    No car the bus a means of transport along with many days of walking back and forth to distance places including school
    Oh church was a must

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