Senator Irene Sandiford-Garner
Senator Irene Sandiford-Garner has been successful in her bid for the Vice Presidency of the Inter American Commission of Women (CIM). She was elected at the 35th Assembly of Delegates held November 3-5 in Mexico City. The election was conducted on the day of the state funeral of former Prime Minister David Thompson, and prior to her arrival in Mexico Senator Sandiford-Garner won her position by acclamation.
Senator Garner’s candidacy had been endorsed by all the Caribbean Community (CARICOM) members, and during an engagement in Washington DC in October, the opportunity was taken to visit Ambassadors of other OAS member-states in an effort to secure their support for Barbados’ election to the body. She received 18 0f the 34 country votes.
Barbados will serve on the executive committee of this influential hemispheric institution for the next two years and Senator Sandiford-Garner will join a team which comprises delegates from Mexico(President), Argentina, Brazil, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Panama, Paraguay, and Trinidad and Tobago. The Senator has been Barbados’ Principal Delegate to the CIM since November 2008.
The CIM is a permanent specialised organisation of the Organisation of American States (OAS) and is the principal forum for generating hemispheric policy to advance women’s rights and gender equality. It is made up of 34 Principal Delegates , one from each member state of the OAS. The Assembly of Delegates, which is held every three years is its highest authority.
CIM provides support and recognition to national women’s movements through its influential role within the OAS and helps to foster inter-American co-operation. Barbados last held an executive position on this 82-year-old body in 1992 when the then Principal Delegate, Mrs. Maizie Barker-Welch was President, after elevation from the Vice-Presidency in the previous term.
The immediate past- President of the CIM was the United States delegate Ms. Wanda Jones. Through this posting Senator Sandiford-Garner will be able to contribute to the development of policies that affect and address gender issues in the hemisphere and add a Caribbean perspective to these issues. Her election will also retain Barbados’ presence on the executive of regional and international influential institutions and bring significant benefits to the island in terms of formulating its social development programmes.
On behalf of BU we extend congratulations to the Senator. There was a time we had Dame Nita Barrow and Dame Billie Miller who represented women on the world stage with honour and dignity. We hope Senator Sandiford-Garner will carry on the rich tradition.
On behalf of…
Many congratulations on your appointment, keep on a straight line – difficult for “some” politicians – and you will achieve very high office indeed.
Yardbroom
Clearly a contrived political ploy to boost her fortunes in St.Andrew. Anybody who is a keen follower of the local political scene, and is not gullible, or have their brains permeated with naivety would know that Irene Sandiford will run NOWHERE ELSE but in St.Andrew whenever the next general elections are called.
If ever I have seen a clear case of a false simple-minded scenario being set, then to be knocked down by the same people setting it up for deceptive political purposes, THIS IS IT!
By the way Irene, congratulations on your successful candidature for Vice-Presidency of Inter American Commission of Women. I must confess I know very little of this organisation, but I will research and see what is its mission.
I wish her the best of luck in St. Andrew. One thing the rural constituencies haven’t done, is to abandon the party that fights every fight for them. The Barbados Labour Party. I wonder why in the Baywoods/Orange Hill area, she was trounced 722-126 in the last election. It is that area that will ensure George Payne is re-elected for a 5th term!
Anonymous Numero Uno
“By the way Irene, congratulations on your successful candidature for Vice-Presidency of Inter American Commission of Women.”
That means a lot coming from someone such as you, who is an ardent Barbados Labour Party supporter. We all know that women are not thought much of in the Barbados Labour Party.
A long roll of foolishness then a left handed compliment. Almost as an after thought. The women of Barbados will not forget the Barbados Labour Party at the next general election.
I feel sorry for you Barbados Labour Party crooks.
A Bewildered Bajan
“that area that will ensure George Payne is re-elected for a 5th term!”
Don’t fool yourself, now that we know the low level he is capable of stooping to, we will be watching developments in that constituency with an Eagle eye. We will not allow him to get away with any hanky panky.
The Barbados Labour Party is one dishonest party. Especially with Ali Baba back in control, the forty thieves are now regrouping.
Congratualtion Ms. Sandiford!
And a very noble gesture!
Hi Carson,
oooooooh!!!!! And BU’s David said that BLP People are the sensitive ones!!!
Ha Ha Ha HaHA !!!!
And……… regarding the treatment of women in politics, it was in the BLP that women saw real fulfilment of their potential whether it was as Parliamentary representatives with trail blazers like Ermie Bourne M.P. in St Andrew, Dame Billie Miller holding Ministerial responsibility in Cabinet, and don’t forget the Sir Henry deB Forde era during which he was renowned for being the champion of womens’ rights in Barbados.
We also recognised and honoured the supreme excellence of Dame Nita Barrow. But what did we see on the other side as it related to treatment of women in Government?
You remember the contemptuous treatment that Right Excellent Errol Barrow handed out to Gertz Eastmond, telling her to know her place? You remeber how long the deserving Maizie Welch languished in the doldrums for years and years and was only thought capable of managing some junior Parliamentary Secretary position. Need I go on?
The DLP are johnny-come-latelys in these matters.
But tell me Carson. You truly expect that Irene would be given the slightest bit of consideration for St.John?
Look, we Barbadians may be pretty robust with our local politics, but when it comes to showing a united front on the international stage, we get serious about that. I am not giving Irene any left-handed compliment; I am truly happy for her in that regard.
@ Carson Cadogan
‘The women of Barbados will not forget the Barbados Labour Party at the next general election.’
FACTS
BLP & Women
Last Cabinet: 5 (4 ministers including the Deputy PM and 1 Minister of State)
Government Senators: 2
Candidates 2008: 4
Current Senators: 1
Governor – Central Bank
Consul General, New York
Director NISE
CEO Invest B’dos
Director NCSA
Director National HIV Commission
CEO Fair Trading Commission
Director International Business
Managing Director BNTCL
DLP & Women
Opposition Senators before 2008 elections: 0
Candidates 2008: 4
Cabinet: 3 (2 ministers and 1 Parliamentary Secretary)
Government Senators: 3
Advisor on Poverty
GM Transport Board
GM (ag) NHC
Head of Embassy in Cuba
Finally, before trying to portray the DLP as champions of womens’ rights, over 85% of the persons dismissed since Jan 2008 are WOMEN. Do you think those women and their families will forget the DLP in the next general election?
@AnonymousUno
Really who are you trying to fool . After the way you have shown total disrepect for the woman on BU . Your compliment should be taken with a grain of salt . You are a chip of the same block as Owen. He too did congratulate Mia when she got the leadership and you can verify the results. .
To Numero Uno . Let me remind you of a better scenario , only thing is it has not yet been knocked down by those who set it up. The scandalous attempt to revamp and reshape the image of one Clyde Mascoll , by having him pretend to show the courage , conviction and commitment of the late Wendel Mc clean in the last rate hearings. Just so they know , we right thinking bajans view this in the same light as a man begging the blessings of the family, in his quest to date the sister of the wife whom he just divorced. It will not happen.
Congratulations to Mrs. Irene Sandiford-Garner . May your next successful election be to the halls of parliament , so that you can start to make the type of contribution that we know you are capable of.
Congratulations.
Will this take her out of Barbados for the two years. I hope so.
I hate to hear DLP stooges carrying on about how the BLP has no respect for women.
People check your facts.
It was only in the last election that the DLP ran three women. They have always only had a token woman, eg: Carmeta, Gertz, Maisie and the lady who ran in St Peter.
Do you remember how they treated the late Antoinette Thompson and Marilyn Rice Bowen twice or three times? Their treatment of Antoinette hasten her to an early death.
Look how they have move about Mrs Byer-Sukoo? Was this respectful or is she out of her league?
Just curious!
Will this new appointment help Barbados to earn foreign exchange, or will it result in further spending of such a scarce commodity…?
Regularly, the bushman gives thanks to BBE that he is not a political yardfowl of the bajan variety…… it seems that common sense and political yardfowlism are mutually exclusive attributes.
Now what has the number of women in political positions to do with respect for women?
….indeed, the Bushman, out of the boundless respect and love for the women that matter in my life, would do ALL POSSIBLE to protect them from the nastiness and deceit that political leadership presently represents.
That sort of nastiness, like war, sanitation and rum shop liming, is the responsibility of men.
…..so Bushie is completely befuddled by big people arguing and measuring ‘respect for women’ in terms of exposing them to the nasty battlefield of political life in Barbados. ……some respect.
Respect for women can be better measured in terms of :
> developing a caring, safe, crime free society
> developing high quality social care networks for the genuinely needy
> promoting the family as a core unit in society
> a fair focus on the unique needs of women in society
etc
@ BT
That is why it is important to have women involved in the decision making process.
@ Enuff
Correction : That is why it is important to have TRUE women involved in the decision making process.
I am tired of hearing you men telling woman what role they should play in society. You guys need to understand that as woman we can think forourselves and really don’t need your socalled input into telling us what role we should play either in politics our in family life . Thanks for The bankhanded advice However we don’t need . We are very capable of walking and chewing gum at the sane time!
Mia opts out
“her announcement that she would not take part in a tainted election process against the St Andrew MP.”
Further evedence of the crookedness of the Barbados Labour Party. Far too many of them are capable of anything. That is why the voting population of Barbados will keep them on the opposition benches a while longer.
Absolutlely no respect for women. They have now alienated the female voting section of the Barbados population. About fifty five percent of the total Barbados population.
The women are going to make them feel it at the next general election!
I can’t wait.
Look who the BLP put in the Senate, “a wife car cutter upper”.
No respect at all for the women of Barbados. Everybody day comes and the women will vote with particular relish against the Barbados Labour Party when the next elections comes around.
@Bush TEA
Protect woman from the nastiness of politics. Yeah is that so ! How so cunning of you Really! trying to fly under the radar. HA! HA! HA! PROTECTIONISM. I thought only america used that word when going to war! i told you before you would make a good politican . Protection ! HA! HA! HA!
Correction on commentNov14 9.11: sane i.e SAME
Politics is not the benchmark for progress of women in Barbados.
Check the number of Bajan women getting University degrees and becoming professionals.
Politics in Barbados is a “nasty” business and it takes a very strong woman to cope with the abuse politicians rain down on each other.
@Carson C. Cadogan | November 14, 2010 at 9:21 AM |
“Mia opts out ……Absolutlely no respect for women. They have now alienated the female voting section of the Barbados population. About fifty five percent of the total Barbados population.”
Well saints be praised! Carson dat is you saying dis? I can actually agree with you on this one.
@Hants
“Politics in Barbados is a “nasty” business and it takes a very strong woman to cope with the abuse politicians rain down on each other.”
Could it be they are abusers in private life?
BTW ac;
If you really wish someone ill have them try to do business with a senior female public servant (worse still a female Permanent Secretary) in any of the South Caribbean countries … Sick…!
@ac,
There is a difference between personal life and political tactics.
A lot of the loud mout politicians are lambs in the home.
Bush Tea/Haunts,
You have said a mouthful with so little words.
Some misguided females measure their worth by the amount of university degrees they can hang up on the rack and how far they can climb the professional ladder; forgetting the the woman of true is the one has a successful family.
It is unfortunate that men like “David”, the host of this blog does not understand this basic tenet (He’s, however, balanced
in most other areas; but for this one, he’s out of bounds)
The late prime minister had the slogan right: FAMILIES FIRST!
Should be “…the woman of true worth…”
The woman who has raised/or who is raising a successful household; a strongly knitted family; has more to be happy about; to boast about, than one who is trying to prove she can outdo a man.
@Politics,
Many women get degrees,become professionals and have successful families.
There are a lot of good examples in Barbados.
Families first does not mean wife at home in apron 24/7.
@Hants
Well said ! Politics is in a time lapse, and cannot fathom out why a woman would want to leave the home and kitchen. I bet he is very sorry that Errol Barrow gave the nation free education. Poor thing he is lost and cannot cope with the educated professional woman.
Islandgal246
“Well saints be praised!”
I have not ever said anything wrong on this blog about morally upright women.
I have been married to one July just gone is twenty five years.
@ Hants
Many women get degrees,become professionals and have successful families.
There are a lot of good examples in Barbados.
****************************************
…let’s hear of some of these good examples….
It is quite fine to be all emotional and politically correct, but the reality is that the competition and stress ‘out there’ is health threatening -even for real red blooded men.
It is twice as hard for women.
Getting a degree is a 3-5 year sacrifice even for basic social science degrees. Longer if one has serious family commitments with young children.
Progressing in a job is even more challenging with the political infighting, sexual pressures, tight financial/ production pressures on businesses etc
…and raising young children who are protected from the evils of this world in the school, home, even the church must now be more difficult than ever in history.
Either explain to the bushman where the above scenario is wrong, or where these super women exists, that are able to successfully overcome these challenges and succeed in university, work and family life.
Common sense seems to suggest that what we need now more than ever -are wise, dedicated family managers who have the education, patience, love and commitment to mold and develop the kind of families that can withstand the challenges imposed by modern society.
…..Or is it that having failed miserably in this regard, women have now set their sights on measuring their success by the materialistic things that men have traditionally been left to do – like providing food, shelter and protection?
@ ac and Islandgal
…well if that is all wanna want…so be it…. just leave Mrs Bushie out of that foolishness for me….. she is much too valuable to be so wastefully deployed….
Bush tea has all the gender sensibility of the Afghan Taliban.
@ Ping Pong
…..and you would have expected what from a bush man…?
If you find yourself constrained in thought by meaningless cliches and concepts of political correctness then that is your concern…..
If the Taliban, Hitler or even Owing Seymour happen to coincide in agreement on an issue with the bushman -so be it!!
Bushie has even been known to agree with Ping Pong on the odd issue …LOL
@Bush tea “women have now set their sights on measuring their success by the materialistic things that men have traditionally been left to do – like providing food, shelter and protection?”
Bushman , lemme take a real deep breath…..BUSHMAN! YUH TREDDING PON DANGEROUS GROUND . Have you looked around lately? Woman has been providing food, shelter and finance to her family for many many years. And WHAT PROTECTION do you think men provided? CONDOMS ? We could defend weselves good enufff. Likke hot oil , a can a BOP and cutlass. Bushman doan let MRS BUSHMAN read dis. YUH TREDDING PON REALLY DANGEROUS GROUND.
AC over to you now!
Bushman wrote “Getting a degree is a 3-5 year sacrifice even for basic social science degrees. Longer if one has serious family commitments with young children.”
That is the exception. Most women get the degree and start working before they start a family.
Bushman, each to his own. I Hants think that it is a waste of a brain and grossly unfair to make women stay “home an cook and clean.”
There will always be good women who prefer to stay home and raise a “traditional family” but the world needs well educated women.
At the risk of being misunderstood does anyone know the value a highly educated woman brings to the family unit if she is allowed to focus on nurturing her family in the way only a woman can deliver?
PRICELESS!!!
The Matriarch of the BU household has been devoted to nurturing the household for years and the world has already benefited from her unmatched contribution. She did it not seeking to accumulate material things (riches) but focussing on creating good citizens. For that David (Patriach) will be forever indebted to her.
@Ping Pong
like Bushman and Politics really joined de Taliban now. Calling out de BU Army………SOS BONNY, AC, JC, Any MENS who believe dat one day a Woman can become a leader in Barbados.
@ Islandgal
Brilliant analysis David (as usual)….
Bushman is a product of such a woman who dedicated her whole life to creating, molding, loving and raising Bushie and many other Bushlets.
Her legacy will live for ever in her contribution to this society, – made in a way that 10 fathers with 20 degrees and the highest paying job in the land could not match.
Even without counting her other 100% successes, Bushie alone (not bragging LOL) is a major achievement for my mother. NO WAY AT ALL WOULD BUSHMAN BE POSSIBLE WITHOUT HER EXCELLENT HIGH LEVEL WORK.
What greater contribution can be made in this world than to bring new life into existence and to nurture that life into a successful, valuable asset of exemplary character?
…..but if you want to be a politician, Islandgal…. or an accountant….. your call…. LOL. (but left out the cutlass and the BOP talk …PLEASE!!)
Mens please remember, not all women can be good mothers and not all women want to be mothers. I can say the same about men too. So why is it that the role of nurturer and homemaker being forced down our throats. That is the traditional thought, however we women will decide whether we want to or not. Until men come to terms that they can be nurturers as well as homemakers dem gine be always in crisis.
I think you kneed to analyse what the BUSH MAN is saying(forget about Politics).
There is more to life than an array of degrees.
One is not saying that a woman should not seek to improve her lot(and the status of her family), but we have got role-assignment upside down(I think it was ac who admitted in an earlier posting that “roles are changing” Stats however, show that things are changing for the worse.
We need to get back to basics; not necessarily the picture of a mother sweating it out in the kitchen; but more caring, understanding families (if families matter).
@David and BushTea,
It is truly wonderful to have a traditional family with a matriarch taking care of her family.Nuff respect to your mothers.
I too had a mother and grandmother at home that “spoiled” me and I din turn out too bad.
Modern day Barbados has been educating our girls and women and I think that it is important for women to get educated first if the opportunity is there and it is what they want.
A woman is not a domesticated animal that you train and tell what her role on this planet should be.
If she chooses to be fight to become a Prime Minister nothing wrong with that.
If she chooses to “stay home an mine baby” cool.
@Hantsie
The problem we have today is becoming a slave to definitions.
We have women who want to define themselves based on assuming jobs which are defined by materialism.
Commenter Politics touched on the issue above. We need to focus and form our decisions on what is best for the family first! That definition should not be restricted to the level of financial contribution.
@Politics, ”
We need to get back to basics; not necessarily the picture of a mother sweating it out in the kitchen; but more caring, understanding families (if families matter).”
There are families in Barbados with both parents professionals and the children are well cared for.
@ Islandgal
….not all women can be good mothers and not all women want to be mothers…
************************************
Not all women are even women…. so therefore we are arguing the general position.
Women are specifically designed and engineered to bear children and they (generally) are blessed with the patience, love and gentle nature to be dedicated caregivers….. MUCH more so than (‘real real’) men.
Now Wes Hall became a fast bowler BECAUSE of his physical and mental attributes….. you saying that Chanderpaul should ups and decide he want to bowl fast too…? or should he concentrate on being the batsman that the team needs?
Islandgal246
“Until men come to terms that they can be nurturers as well as homemakers dem gine be always in crisis.”
Get your facts straight. Men are not in crisis. That is just a cliche. Boys and men are fighting against a system which is stacked against them. So don’t get mix up.
Thanks to all those who have expressed best wishes. Relaxing after usual prep of Sunday lunch for my family and my parents (once on island) and was told to log on. I am flattered my life is so interesting to others…”Mining” two sets of babies and forging ahead with my career. To the mean-spirited messengers: Strive To Be Happy. And to those who are worried about me and St. Andrew: Don’t be.
Those comments by David were very balanced and fair.
I couldn’t have said it with such grandeur.
Unfortunately, there are too many women who “want to define themselves based on assuming jobs which are defined by materialism”
I suspect that is why our families (in particular the middle-class) are so weak.
Yes, we now have the “toys” and “things” that our forebears could not even dream of, but we don’t have “families”
Welcome to Barbados Underground, Senator Garner.
Now how you know that the lady is who she say she is ….? You don’ think that a true woman/politician would have better things to do this Sunday than reading all this tripe …?
@BAFBFP,
You tink dat de docters lawyers, business owners an intelligent agents on dis blog does only rite tripe?
Dis blog is de defacto an infacto centre of de Barbados infomation and dissemination universe.
Now go an cook some more chowmein.
@@BAFBFP,
True women and men can walk and chew gum at the same time.
My girl just up and walk out de front door …. She probably decide she reading dis tripe too …. I hope she know that its is time she buy she own computer ….!
Politics
You seem to be a real ol time gentleman. But you would agree with me that there is a break down in morality in the society today and it starts in the home. I am a working mother of grown sons now but when they were growing up and we were out working they knew that it was not possible for me to be at home to care for them they way I would like because of the financial constraints. They turned out ok. Because even though you cannot always be a stay at home mom, discipline is the key that has to be instilled from an early age and this is very lacking in today’s world. My boys knew from very early how far to go with me. Their dad was an easy walk over where discipline was concerned so I had the dual role of disciplining and I had no problem with that at all. I never spared the rod. Their botsy was mine when they fell by de way-side.
I don’t think that materialism has a lot to do with women becoming independent and striving for success. Some men are way more materialistic that women, especially when it comes to their car.
Off topic: What do you think of stay at home dads?
Here’s my take on that; as long as you’re strong n able-bodies, get up offa ya ass n wuk.
David
I tawt dat i was BU matriarch? stupseeeeeeee, you does get me rale sick, hare? LOLLLLLLLL
Senator Irene
Welcome N Congrats.
You are a very down to earth individual. I admire you. I am a granny now but when/if I ever get a daughter, I want her to be just like you. LOLL
Bonny is very naughty at times so please by-pass my posts. LOLL
BAF
Ah gladdddddddd. She got she laptop in she bag.
Anudda ting politicians does got leisure/pleasure time too. Dis may be one a she moments.
ya crinimal.
@Bonny Peppa,
YOU, seem to be a REAL OL TIME LADY.
I am all for the discipline you mentioned above. And, yes, there is a break-down in morality in the society today which has its roots in the home.
Clearly in your case you could not have stayed home. You had no choice. It is good to hear that your children turned out all right. I suspect that “balanced and loving discipline” had a part to play in your success (I mentioned balanced and loving discipline less I be accused of supporting juvenile brutality)
STAY HOME DADS – Modern invention. Not meant to be. However, there may be exceptions to this where circumstances dictate that a man may have to stay at home.
However, generally speaking, this is an example of mixed-up roles. The man was made to “take the reins”. Dysfunction is the result when a man surrenders his role.
@politics
“I suspect that is why our families (in particular the middle-class) are so weak.
Yes, we now have the “toys” and “things” that our forebears could not even dream of, but we don’t have “families”
Well start throwing out yuh toys den, start wid de computer!
So what is the state of the lower income families where there is no father figure ? What about the upper classe? Dem can afford to let their wives stay home so dem got betta families?
@Bonny Peppa,
I am not an ol time gentleman; like you, I was born in 2000
@Island Girl,
I can’t through out my computer; for unlike yours, my computer is functional. I earn my keep by it.
Precisely my point, concerning the upper income families, don’t you see the results? Mass divorces!
Island Girl, do you fit into this group?
Are there any PERFECT FAMILIES? Mine wasn’t.
I got divorced when my daughter was 4 yrs old. Her dad was selective when he wanted her when it was convenient for him. That didn’t bother me at all I would encourage him to come and get her and take her to ballet, swimming and spend quality time with her. He backed out many times. And when he wanted to spend time with his new wife he would let her know that. Yet his only thing in life was to convert her to his religion.
She went away on a scholarship at 17 years. He supported her sporadically by sending little pocket change when I got vex and old him off. I was cussed for sending her away to school because I didn’t consult him. He didn’t have to pay one red cent towards her education. When she went on to do her Masters degree he said that she did not consult him so he will not supporting her with the little bds $400.00 a month that he used to give me for her support and that he even took me to court to reduce it and failed .
She has completed her Masters and is back home working. She is a beautiful level headed well mannered young woman. When she was at university in the USA I would get soo many compliments about her manners and her attitude. She knew that I loved her, had confidence in her and would support her through good times and bad. A parent’s duty is prepare their children to be good moral citizens and independent thinkers.
Many fathers have failed their offspring yet it is mothers who had to sacrifice, work hard and put their own lives on hold to raise their children. Woman strong, could tek more stress dan man, cud bear more pain dan man and cud survive widouta man. An somma wunna feel dat she ain capable to lead?
DIVORCE DOES NOT MEAN FAILURE
LOOK AT IT AS LIBERATION!
islandgal246 hush do ….!
@BAFBFP
LOLLLLL….. yuh fighten?……….doan be …….ah dun tawkin
Politics
I beginnin ta get a ‘feelin’ fa you ya. ya too swoite. Jus now sumbody gun tell me dat i wutliss causen i in luv wid all de BU menz. such is life. as Sparraw sa, ‘de moe de merriah’.
I was born Feb.31st 2000. A Wensdee ta be xack.
islandgal
me n you is two thorofares but we raze we chil’ren rale good nah? blessins to de two a we. n we do um almos singlehanded. kudos ta de two BU thorofares dat raze good, productiv chil’ren.
doan mind BAF. he is a gallas-bate. he like bare ‘noise’. LOLL
girl if divorce mean failure, well i fail bout 5 times n lookin at failure #6 as we speak. murtherrrrrrrrrrrr.
Bonny P
Squeak squeak …. dah ain’ noise too ….?
Nuff respect Islandgal246 and daughter.
@Politics, you are doing very well for a 10 year old.
@Bonny
Thanks and Kudos to you too.
@Hants
Thanks
I have no regrets and would do it all over again! Ah now tinking bout getting dat degree now.
@Haunts,
Thanks, I knew you would have come around to my wisdom. Doesn’t the Bible say: “A little child shall lead them?”
Island Girl
Good to know that you have pulled through despite the odds. You, however, are carrying some serious baggage and need to let go.
If you are implying above that men don’t support their children (based on your side of the story with your ex.); please take note and come again: There are many, many men out there who love and support their children (even divorced men through Child Maintenance).
The reason why Child Support turns ugly is because of the father’s perceived response from the mother.
Both parents turn bitter against each other with the child being used as a weapon, and, unfortunately, being burnt and held to ransom.
@Politics
Question But why should a woman have to take a man to court for child support.?
@Island Girl
“Divorce does not mean failure; look at it as liberation” (Your quote).
Divorce is ugly and should never be, but we live in a cruel world where fair play and honesty are wanting and scarce.
Are you sure, though, that your quote is correct? Is your hypothesis a remedy in helping to build a stronger relationship?
@ islangal246
Agree totally!
BU blogsters love to make generalisations; and emotive rather than factual, common sense statements. It is 2010, and people are here insinuating that women are weak and only good for child bearing and rearing and home economics. SMDH
@Politics
Like you turn bush counselor. The only baggage I got is the two suit cases I am packing for my trip next week. LOLLLL
Mistakes happen in life, we own them and do something about them. Liberte, egalite, fraternite
Politics wrote @Haunts,
Thanks, I knew you would have come around to my wisdom. Doesn’t the Bible say: “A little child shall lead them?”
Don’t see any wisdom or leadership. Just thought you were really born in 2000 given that I seem to be HAuNTSing you.
@Island Girl
I agree. A woman should never have to take a man to court for supporting his child, but there is no one-fit answer to this question.
Sometimes the father is delinquent; sometimes he is intentionally delinquent; to get back at the mother.
There is also the case where the mother uses child support as means of milking a perceived cash cow.
@Haunts,
At least I got some credit.
@Politics .
Man you are true defender for the indefensible. Two people have a child together and one refusesto to show any kind of responsibilty financially or otherwise and you pleading selfdefense on the mans part for relinquishing his responsibilty to the child because of something that might have happen between him and the mother, Who do you think the court going to favour ? Another one of your cockamame excuses !
@Island Girl
Your comments are one -sided.
@Politics “There is good and bad in life. Divorce can be liberating for some and traumatic for others.
In the old days women and even men stayed in violent abusive relationships.
It is better for children to be raised by a good single parent than in a loveless abusive relationship.
Hants said “In the old days women and even men stayed in violent abusive relationships.”
my mother stayed in an abusive violent marriage for 25 years, my father was a professional who ordered my mother not to work. He was an alcoholic, a womanizer and a wife beater. She was saddled with 8 children. Yes she had maids, she had all the latest gadgets and lived in nice homes. Many felt that she had it all and why was she complaining. How I wished that she would have left earlier. But where would she have gone with 8 children? She had no skills to get a job and at that time men saw divorced women as easy pickings. She finally divorced him after 25 years and he refused to support her after that. I loved my dad but there was a dark side of him that I hated.
I made a vow that I will never become a victim or make myself a martyr. I saw the same ignorant traits of control through verbal abuse in my first marriage. There was no alcohol but his religion was used to attempt to make me submit. I saw myself becoming like my mother and I got scared. I was making plans on leaving, he knew and when my will could not be broken he left. That was the best thing that ever happened to me. He did try to hit me and got a rock stone in his head LOLLLL My life only got better. Yes we have to mourn the loss of a partner but that is necessary to heal and move on. We are all scarred to some extent by our experiences, some of us more than others but we must move on.
And I quote Hants…..”It is better for children to be raised by a good single parent than in a loveless abusive relationship.”
@Haunts,
I agree with your sentiments.
However, stats show that divorce is USUALLY ugly; especially for the children.
I believe that it is better sometimes not to marry. Of course this is based on hindsight.
Divorce allows you to leave one set of trouble and glide into another set. It leaves life-long scars. But, it is better to divorce than to stay in a sexually abusive relationship.
With respect to a physically abusive relationship, I think separation is the better choice.
@Politics
“But, it is better to divorce than to stay in a sexually abusive relationship.
With respect to a physically abusive relationship, I think separation is the better choice.”
OH MY GOD! I can’t believe that someone would state the above.
You are way out on a limb…you really do not understand physical abuse can be sexual abuse. There is no difference between them, it is all physical. I am astonished to hear this from a man. Your comprehension of physical abuse has left me in shock. Mental abuse is another serious matter. It is very obvious that this is way beyond your imagination and comprehension.
@Island Girl,
There are different forms of sexual abuse.
@Politics
So you are saying it is better to separate than divorce a spouse who has beaten their partner to pulp, maim them for life and nearly killed them to remain married to them? That says everything about you as a human being. It is clearly why people with your beliefs are usually the perpetrators of of domestic abuse.
You also said “Divorce allows you to leave one set of trouble and glide into another set.” Which planet are you on? What kind of troubles?
Marriage should never be a life sentence for those who have gone into it and have suffered abuse. Whether they live together as common law or have a piece of paper, I consider it still a union.
Politics
My dawlinks, a rose by any other name is still a rose. The same goes for ‘abuse’. Be it mental, physical,spousal.
(I whun mind spousal-abusing you doe) we cud alwayz kiss n mek up. Game?
You tink it is betta sumtimes not ta marrid? well lemma tell ya sumting, i in want na lotta long courtin from you so mek up in ya mind dat afta two munts a me n you courtin, de weddin gun be de nex munt. fair or foul/fowl. so start pickin out de rings. i want tree rings ta poze wid too pun my finga.
islandgal
i believe strongly in divorce girl. i doan believe in lickin a dead horse. sum tings just weren’t ment ta be. Marriage is one a dem. i also believe dat love dies, if it evva was love a’tall.
Whether it’s physical, sexual or mental, anyone who does this to another is committing a crime against humanity and self.
@A Bewildered Bajan | November 13, 2010 at 4:05 PM |
“I wish her the best of luck in St. Andrew. One thing the rural constituencies haven’t done, is to abandon the party that fights every fight for them. The Barbados Labour Party. I wonder why in the Baywoods/Orange Hill area, she was trounced 722-126 in the last election. It is that area that will ensure George Payne is re-elected for a 5th term!”
Sen. Sandiford-Garner:-
“I contested the General Election of 2008 as a neophyte; a political novice, and brought a three-term sitting member of parliament from winning by a margin of 1,390 votes in 2003 to winning by a space of 43 votes. ”
1390 – 43 = 1347 (Less for George Payne)
722 – 126 = 596 (Difference in Baywoods/Orange Hill)
The task for the next election is lighter than in 2008.
Congratulations Irene you are a striking beauty with some brains. My wish for you is to send that short jackass George’ Barrack’ Payne packing.
Payne and Barrack are brothers I say. No two vertically challenged men could look so anal in hats and not be related.
You will have backing of Mia Labourites for the backstabbing he and Owen cowardly did to Mia.
Senator Irene Sandiford-Garner described in a word:-
MILF
1) Cabinet Minister when Barrack got contract? George Payne
Legal Counsel for Barrack at the time? Ask George Payne if he wasn’t.
Conflict of interest? If it wasn’t, then the interest ($) is now a conflict.
Note that he cannot say a word in Parliament when this matter come up.
2) Minister in charge of BWA at one time? George Payne
Legal firm responsible for BWA’s business? Dowell’s
Chambers.
Chief cook and pot-washer at Dowell’s Chambers? George
Payne (in association with Dale Marshall).
Conflict of interest? You decide.