On Barbados Underground (BU) we discuss many issues, mostly serious issues, here is your chance to let off some steam by sharing funnies.
333 responses to “Jokes Corner”
-
One day, during what was called a Scripture class, a teacher asked “what must we do to save our souls”
A little girl raised her hand, jumped up and said, “teacha we must walk on our heels to save our souls/soles. “
-
The Pastor on His Death Bed
An old Pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an Inland Revenue Service Agent and his Attorney to come to the hospital.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the Pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The Pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.
Both the IRS Agent and Attorney were touched and flattered that a Pastor would ask them to be with him during his final moments. However, they were also puzzled because the Pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the Attorney asked, “Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here?” The Pastor mustered all his strength and then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I’d like to go.”
-
this man he had a real resentment for his pastor. one sunday when the pastor read the text “he who is without sin cast the first stone”.the man looked up and said”I’ve been waiting fuh dis fuh along time”with that the man took out a big rock and smash the pastor in the face.
-
THE PARROT
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot really had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by
consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.Finally though, John was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and more rude!
In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer!
For a few minutes the parrot squawked, kicked and screamed….. then suddenly there was total silence! Not a peep was heard for over a minute!
Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said,
“I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions… I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions, and I
fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
behavior.”John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude! As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
-
i whon to came there for 14day tourism in bardados.i am student in ghana.have smass holliday.
-
Man we want some Bajan jokes like the first one Sapidillo.
Like the Bajan that had this English woman that took him to England and one day when she was coming out of the bathroom she slipped but caught herself before she could fall.
She looked at him and said, “Did you see my agility?” He said, “Yes, back home we call it pu**y.”
-
Ossie Moore went to a store one day and demanded to speak to the Manager, Mr. Nosmo King.The shop assistant told him that there was no one working there by that name. Ossie get real, real cruel and point to a door which read:
‘Manager’.
And further down, the words:
‘No Smoking’.A smart looking fella stick his head into a barber-shop down town one day and asked, “How long before I could get a cut”?
De barber looks around the shop and says, ‘About 3 hours man’.
Smart-ass smiles and leaves de shop.
Just outta curiousity, de barber ask one a he friends at de shop ta follow de fella and see wah he up ta.
Bout 45mins afta, he friend returns to de shop and de barber start ta laff and jokingly ask he friend, ‘Man, whay he went’?
De friend replied,“To your house”.
-
The only thing the IRS has not taxed yet is the penis. This is due to the fact that:
40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed;
30% of the time it is hard up;
20% of the time it is pissed off; and
10% of the time it’s in the hole.
It has two (2) dependents, but they’re nuts.Effective January 1, 2010, penises will be taxed according to size.
The brackets are as follows:
10″-12″ Luxury Tax
8″-10″ Pole Tax
5″- 8″ Privilege Tax
4″-5″ Nuisance Tax
Males exceeding 12″ must file under Capital Gains.
Anyone under 4″ is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!Issues still under consideration are as follows:
Penalties for early withdrawal
Multiple partners counting as a corporation
Condoms deductible as work clothes
or:
Celebrities starting their own camps:
11. Tommy Lee’s – Camp Beatachickee
10. Lorena Bobbit’s – Camp Cutaweewee
9. Tanya Harding’s – Camp Wackaneenee
8. Austin Power’s – Camp Shagyourbaby
7. Britney Spear’s – Camp Singoffkeekee
6. O.J. Simpson’s – Camp Killawifey
5. Michael Jackson’s – Camp Stealababy
4. President Clinton’s – Camp Getahoochie
3. Monica Lewinsky’s – Camp Suckapeepee
2. Ellen Degeneres’ – Camp Lickahoochie
And the #1 celebrity camp…
1. Janet Jackson’s – Camp Showatittee -
Su Wong marries Lee Wong.
The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.“Congratulations!” says the nurse to the new parents.
“Well, Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?”
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, “Well, two Wong’s don’t make a white, so I think we will name him…Are you ready for this?
Sum Ting Wong -
Joe grew up in Barbados, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to Barbados because he felt he could be a Big Shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office in Bridgetown.
The first day, he saw a man coming up the passage way. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.
“No! Absolutely not! You tell those clowns in New York that I won’t settle this case for less than one million. Yes, the Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I’ll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay, tell the DA that I’ll meet with him next week to discuss the details.”
The conversation went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone, turned to the man and said, “I’m sorry for the delay but as you can see, I’m very busy. What can I do for you?”
The man replied, “I’m from Cable & Wireless, I came to hook up your phone.”
-
Little Johnny walks into his dad’s bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom.His dad tries to hide it by bending over as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asks curiously, “What are you doing dad”?
His dad quickly replies, “I thought I saw a mouse go under the bed”.
Little Johnny replies, “So what are you trying to do………………….. f–p it?Two blondes walk into a perfume shop.One picks up a bottle of perfume called “Viens Chez Moi”. She asks the manager what it means and he tells her “Come To Me”.
So she smells the perfume and asks her friend:
“Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn’t smell like come to me.” (stupseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee) -
A Pastor’s wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.
After much discussion, they approved a policy that expanded his paycheck whenever the preacher’s family expanded.
After six children, this started to get expensive, and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the Preacher’s’ expanding salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued about how much the clergyman’s additional children were costing the church, and how much larger his paycheck might go.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, “Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us.” Silence fell on the congregation.
In the back pew, an elderly lady struggled to stand, and finally said, in her frail voice, “Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.”
The entire congregation said, “Amen.”
-
A husband came home from church, greets his wife and lifts her up. He then carries her around the house.
The wife surprised of her husband’s actions looked at him and said, “did the Reverend preach about being romantic?”
The husband looked at her and said, “No; he said we must carry our burdens and sorrows.”
-
A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word ‘fascinate’ in it.
1st lil girl : Disney World is fascinating.
Teacher : No, I said fascinate.
2nd lil girl : There’s so much fascination
in the under-sea.
Teacher : Nooo, it’s FASCINATEEEE.Little Johnny yells from the back of the class:
My mom has such HUGEEEE boobs dat she can only ‘fassen-eight’ of de 10 buttons on her shirt.A blonde’s house is on fire so she calls 911 screamingggggggggggggg:
‘Help me please, help me, my house is on fire, please hurry, my house is burning. Pleaseeeeeeeee, help me”.911 Operator: Ok M’am, please try to calm down and we’ll be there as soon as possible. How do we get to your house?
Blonde: Duhhhhhhhhhhh, in dat big red truckkkkk.
-
@Bonnypeppa
@sapidillaLike yuh jokes
I madeup mine Lol
Sitting hear trying hard to think up some more.
Laufter good fuh de soul HaHA…………………………………. -
ac
Your ‘mek-up’ sound real good too. Had me crying man.
Now I got a riddle fa you:
What goes in hard n stiff but comes out soft n mushy?
Ansa me dat ac, OK? -
A young deaf-mute couple get married. At first they have sex with the lights on, in order to sign to each other. One day the wife asks, “Can we try to make love with the lights off”?
The husband says, “Ok, but how will you know when I want to make love”?
Wifey says: “Well, when you’re in the mood,just shake my left breast once and I’ll know. And if you don’t want to make love, shake the right breast once”.
Hubby says: “That’s ok, and when you’re in the mood to make love to me, just shake my penis once and I’ll know. And if you don’t want to make love to me, shake my penis about 50 times.A sexy looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube-top. She raises her hand to signal to the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits.
A drunk sitting at the other end of the bar signals to the bartender:
“Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me”.
Bartender: “What makes you think she’s a ballerina?”
“Because, answers the drunk, “any chick that can lift her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina.A midget is riding on a bus when a blonde steps on him.
“Hey you, brunette, watch where you’re going”, yells the midget.
The blonde looks down and says proudly:
“I’m not a brunette, I’m a BLONDE”
The midget replies:
“Not from where I”m standing. -
BONNY PEPPA // December 5, 2009 at 10:29 AM, ” What goes in hard n stiff but comes out soft n mushy?”
@BP, can I take a guess, or is this specifically for AC?
-
Thought I’d throw this in…
Someone out there must be “deadly” at Scrabble.PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYERASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARERDESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS ITTHE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEEGEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORETHE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTSDORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOMSLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN MEANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITYELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNTSNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘SA DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I’M A DOT IN PLACETHE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKEELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONEAND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER -
Four men were out golfing and discussing how each convinced his wife to let him play golf every morning.
1st guy: I had to buy my wife a BMW to let me play golf daily.
2nd guy: You got off cheap! I had to buy my wife a BMW and a 4carat diamond ring.
3rd guy: You both got off extremely cheap! I had to buy my wife the BMW, diamond ring and necklace, and a pair of false teeth with lots of gold.
4th guy: Ha! I didn’t have to buy my wife a single thing! Every morning when I wake up, I lean over in bed, nudge my wife and ask, “Intercourse or golf course?” She instantly replies, “Don’t forget to take your jacket.”
-
Two Economists are taking a walk…
One says “Is that a 20 dollar bill lying in the street?
“Of course not…”, says the other Economist, “…or someone else would have already picked it up….
-
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips, an elderly man was going to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked “Is someone in your house?” He said “No,” but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
The police dispatcher said “All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.” George said, “Okay;” he hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now because I just shot them.” and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at George’s home, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, “I thought you said that you’d shot them!”
George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available!” -
Sapadillo
Anyone can answer the riddle man.The winner gets ‘Free Food For Four”. Dat is my BU Christmas competishun. David like he in gihing ‘way nutton.
I love Scrabble but only if I winnin. 🙂A devoted wife had spent her entire lifetime taking care of her husband.Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.When he came to his senses, he motioned for her to come near to him. As she sat by him, he said,
“You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed,you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, again you were there.When my health started failing,you were STILL by my side. You know what?”
“What, my dear?” she asked gently.
He replied…………………………………..“You’re a blasted jinx.
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, ‘Where is Jesus today?”
Steven says, ‘He’s in Heaven”
Mary answers, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny waves his hand frantically and shouts, “He’s in our bathroom”
The surprised teacher asks Johnny how he knows this.
“Well, Little Johnny replies, “every morning my dad gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells,
“Jesus Christtttttttttttttttttt, you still in there?” -
@BP, cud de ansuh tuh de riddle be Chewing Gum?
I don’t have a dirty mind. LOL
-
A Bajan, a Guyanese and a St. Lucian were in the Zanzibar one night having a rum.
All of a sudden the Guyanese downs his rum, throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun, shoots the glass to pieces and says, “in Guyana our glorsses are sew cheap that we down’t need to drink from same wan twice”
The St. Lucian obviously impressed by this; drinks his rum and throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces and says, “well boy, in St. Lucia we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don’t need to drink out of the same glarss twoice oither.”
The Bajan, cool as shite, fires back his rum, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Guyanese and St. Lucian and says, “in Bubadus we have so many r*as²hole Guyanese and Lucians we don’t need to drink with the same ones twice eeda”
-
There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day, the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked. He asked his mother what the hair between her legs was.
She responded, “It’s my wash cloth.”Weeks later, after the mother had her baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again. While she was in the hospital, the doctor had shaved her pubic hair. The boy asked, “What happened to your wash cloth?”
The mother responded, “I lost it.” The little boy trying to be helpful set out to find his mother’s washcloth.A few days later, he ran to his mother yelling and screaming, “I found your washcloth.” The mother, thinking that the child was just playing, went along with the boy and asked, “Where did you find it?”
The boy answered, “The maid has it! She is washing daddy’s face with it.” -
@Bonny Peppa
Answer
The big Cock-a-doodle doooooooooo.@ chris Hasall
Good try man. Don’t quit yuh day job.
On second thought if yuh need a road manager let me know.@ Bonny Peppa 20 hrs. and counting still can’t make up another joke.
I think God mad at me for talking about de pastor in my joke.Now i have de writers block.
The jokes are really funny.That man in you lastjoke must be made out of steel
50 timeswuh lordeeeeeeeeeeeee
Fuh sure hemust be de steel donkey.
lor hav merciiiiiiiiiiiiii
still thinking how tomek up me joke. -
@AC
No need to hurry; take your time. We’d wait patiently. -
ac
Mekkin up jokes doan be easy hear. Ya see wah happen ta Chris Halsall’s attempt. I still wondering if I should laff or cry. Tink I’ll cryyyyyyyyyyyyy.
No, de ansa is not a cock or doodle doo.
Sapadillo gave the correct ansa. It is bubble gum doe, Sap, not chewin gum. There’s a diffrenc. You will not get the fulll price of Free Food For Four but instead, Tree Turnovers To Torture.Sapadilla
Betta get a few mo Bajans up by de Zanzibar pun a nite. Problem solve. LOL -
@Bonny Peppe
Shuks chewing gum.I like me cockadoodledoo better..
Does anyoneof yuh know any duppie jokes i used to find them funny.I have been thinking of meking up one but keep losing the punch line .
-
BONNY PEPPA // December 5, 2009 at 9:54 PM “… Ya see wah happen ta Chris Halsall’s attempt. I still wondering if I should laff or cry. Tink I’ll cryyyyyyyyyyy.”
Yuh mek muh laff til uh get hiccups!!
I shall torshur David fuh de diffrence in cost. -
ac
I wid you. I barely stupse when I read de ansa. Chewing gum ma big toe. I like me cock too but you could keep de doodle doo.
I frighten as shite fa duppies ac, so dem cud keep da jokes n da distance from me bosey. But I mite still laff if I get a good whun.Sapadillo
Wah I serious. I still trying ta figure out wah Chris was really trying to do. I feel he submit ta de wrong post. Doan laff.As somebody tell he, ‘doan quit ya day job boe’. Sus Croisssssssssssss.Yes, David would have to compensate you for de difference in cost and for also letting thru dat Chris Halsall ‘what-evva- dat was’ for a joke. Lord man, a person can only suffer dat much.
-
Even the professional comedians jokes fibs sometimes so don’t be too hard on Chris 🙂
@Chris
Is it possible to score something -1 out of 10? Don’t mind them Chris at least you trying can’t say the same for others…lol
-
There is nothing wrong with Chis’s joke, I like it but who am I to tell what kind of humour one should like or dislike.
This is a true story, when WW Blackman (father of the former Central bank Gov.) was head master of St. David’s school a teacher asked a student “ What is a fortification?” Without hesitation the student responded “ two twentyfications Sir”.
-
@ Bonny Peppa,
Go to You Tube and search “kitchener love in the cemetary”.
Great duppy song.
-
Sargeant
Now dat is funny. You say nothin wrong with Chris joke but nothin right with it either. So wah we go do? I say give him a second chance at it. The floor’s his.Hants
Nice tune. I prefer sugga bum, sugga bumbum.Here goes:
A man moved into a new apartment and he decided to go and check his mailbox. Next thing he knows, a beautiful woman is standing right in from of him with only a robe on. She opens it and he realizes she has on nothing underneath. He tries hard to keep eye contact with her while talking. All of a sudden she shouts, “I hear someone coming, let’s go to my apartment”.
While there she lets her robe drop to the ground and asks the man,
“Which part of my body do you like the best”?
He replies,’Your ears”.
She gets mad and asds, ‘Why my ears? Look at this body. It’s perfect.Look at these breast ………they’re real and they’re mine.Look at this butt……..it’s hard and firm. So why my ears”?
He replies,
“Well, because the person YOU heard coming was ME”. -
@Bonny Peppa
don’t be fraidof uh future.
a duppy and a man was walking tru the country one night talking abut life.the man didnt know that was a duppy he was talking to.so the man said to the duppy. Man i hear da be duppy in this village at night but i dont believeit
the duppy then look at the man and say
“uh wanna see” with that the duppy disappear.
when the man sawwhat happen he looked up in the air and say”lord i must have really hurt dat man feelings. -
yuh all don’t be too hard on chris .He got an a-s- whipping on one of the other threads a day ago. I know dem blows were real body blows from some of the bloggers including myself. Iguess he must already spent his whole paychech on epsom salt anlots of bandage to wrap the body in .Dem licks were real hard.
I don’t think he can take another punch
Murdahh—————————— -
ac
Chris look like one a dem wutless red/white fellas dat doan give a khunt bout nutton nor nabody so he fedders in gun ruffle sa easy man. He gun tek he licks hay an come back wid a even worser joke. Trust me. He doan giv a shyte. Waste a time worrying bout he. -
@ Kwasi Appiah
Are you not the same Kwasi Appiah who lives in Canada and fathered a child by a Jamaican? What is with the pidgin English? We Bajans speak proper as you can see from this blog.
Student in Ghana coming to Barbados for vacation my arse. Where would a Ghanaian student get the $$$$ from? I thought this nonsense was done only by Nigerians?
-
Rihanna is a SIZE Queen…. den
…
…
…She like de big big bamboo bamboo
Oh la la la AAAAAAAAAAAghhhhhhhh -
SapidilDO
You got allot tah say ’bout shootin’ Guyanese… HA….!
-
@bonny
BAFBFPis telling some real jokes on another thread trying to get him to put dem here.@ GEAR BOX
wid a name like dat yu should be on top of she list.
no i doan wanna see it. No pictures please. -
SapidilDO
yah fagget..
13″-15″ SIN Tax
-
ac
You is one cruel soanso… Bonny dis human laffin’ cause my tent won’ go away… Effin she were a man she would know dat dis is ain’ nuttin tah cut yah teet ’bout..!
PORGIE lef out de Darwin t’ing fah a minute an’ gimah li’l ease nah..!?
-
 Big Mamas
There were three black ladies getting ready to take a plane trip for the first time.
The first lady said, ‘I don’t know bout y’al but I’m gonna wear me sum hot pink panties beefo I get on dat plane.’
‘Why you gonna wear dem fo?’ the other two asked?
The first replied, ‘Cause, if dat plane goes down and I’m out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonna find me first.’
The second lady said, ‘Well, I’m a-gonna wear me some floe-esant orange panties.’
‘Why you gonna wear dem?’ the others asked.
The second lady answered, ‘Cause if dis hare plane is goin’ down and I be floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first.’
The third lady says, ‘Well, I’m not gonna wear any panties…’
‘What? No panties?’ the others asked in disbelief.
The third lady says, ‘Dat’s right girlfriends, you hears me right. I ain’t wearing any panties, cause if dis plane goes down, honey, dey always look for da black box first
-
MY PRIVATE PART DIED
An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,
‘Yes, Nurse Tracy ,’ said Mr. Wallace.
‘My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.’Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.’
The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas.
He met Nurse Tracy. ‘Mr. Wallace,’ she said, ‘You shouldn’t be walking down the hall like that.
Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.’
‘But, Nurse Tracy I can’t,’ replied Mr. Wallace. ‘I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.
‘Yes,’ said Nurse Tracy, ‘you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?’
‘Well,’ he replied, ‘Today is the viewing!
-
Newfie bar
A Newfie, and Englishman and a Scotsman were drinking in a pub:
“As good as this is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow , there’s a wee place called McTavish’s. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, He’ll buy the fifth drink.”
“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.”
“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said the Newfie. “Back home in Sin Jahn’s, there’s the Codfish Bar. The moment you sets foot in the place, they’ll buy you a drink, then another. All the drinks you like actually. Then, when you’ve had enough drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid.
All on de house!”
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately shout down the Newfie’s claims, but he swears every word is true.
“Well,” said the Englishman, still suspicious, “Did this actually happen to you?”
“Not me self, personally, no,” admitted the Newf. “But it did happen to me sister quite a few times.”
-
One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience.
On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got into bed, they started exploring each other’s body.
Things were going fine until the bride discovered her husband’s penis. “Oh my”, she says, “What is that?”
“Well, darlin”, the cowboy said, “That’s ma rope”.
She slided her hands further down and gasp. “Oh my goodness. What’s them?” she asked.
“Honey, them’s my knots”, he answered.Finally, the couple began to make love. After several minutes, the bride said, “Stop honey; wait a minute”.
Her husband, panting a little, asked, “What’s the matter honey? Am I hurting you?”
“No”, the bride replied. “Just undo them damn knots. I need more rope!” -
A young man was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, “Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.”
Mujibar said, “I am ready.” The manager said, “make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green.”
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, “Mister manager I am ready.” The manager said, “go ahead.”
Mujibar said, “the telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, yellow, this is Mujibar.”
Mujibar now works at a Call Center.
Maybe you have spoken to him. I know I have.
The blogmaster invites you to join the discussion.