Submitted by Steven Kaszab

America demands that Canada increase its military spending while America has spent more on its own military in a year than it has since WW2. Prime Minister Carney hears Washington DC and summons his Defense Minister. Minister he says, our winged aircraft must be enforced, increased in numbers and new technology added to our fleet of aircraft. 

The Minister immediately orders breeding farms to be increased, more feed for the birds and while they are eating and sleeping a tune by either Michael Buble, Stompin Tom Connors or other Canadian Singers be piped through the intercoms. This technology gets the birds feisty and prepared to take on any new comers. The feed given them is top notch Western Grains with a little bit of a bitter mix from Quebec. Their water is gently laced with a touch of Newfoundland Screech to engage their hearts and minds alike. Further new technology is added to the Canadian Armed Forces. Specially trained Newfoundland Pups trained in the seeking out of squirrely Americans and other trouble makers are spread across the country into airports and border s alike. 

Canadian Geese are trained in aeronautical combat, able to spot American Military Aircraft along our borders. Canadian scientists developed a feed that allows these courageous flying demons to drop their excrement directly into the aircrafts engines or frontal screens immobilizing the attach aircraft. Furthermore the Geese are capable of communicating with each other creating a opportunity for them to reattack at will. 

Canadian scientists have found that the IQ of a Canadian Geese is several points higher than those of the population in Washington DC. Using this information to Canada’s benefit, Geese are routinely used as advanced scouts in all US Air Force Bases as well as discreet intelligence agents near the While House Lawn. Canada’s well known for their sniper capabilities, so our agents take shots at Air Force One and the Presidential Helicopter often with multiple hits of unremovable Geese Poop. When the security shows up the Geese bring out their little goslings creating a catch 22 for the security force. Do they send in I.C.E. or leave the little ones alone?

Psychological pressure is applied to the US Congress and Senate. If Geese can fly in unison and cooperate with each other why the heck cannot millionaire members of the Senate and Congress? Looks real bad for the Yankee’s eh? 

2026-06-07 News Break: Canadian Geese bombard the US-Iranian Peace Talks. A New Player enters the scene. Iranian Envoys stand by with eggs on their face, while Americans try to make breakfast.