Est.2007

Barbados Underground

Bringing News and Opinions to the People

Focus Barbados Blog: The Sins of P.Antonio “Boo” Rudder

← Back

Your message to the BLOGMASTER was sent

CONTACT THE BLOGMASTER ONLY

boo_rudder
P.Antonio ‘Boo’ Rudder

The blogsite Focus Barbados is interesting. The focus of the blogmaster is on the elephant subject in Barbados, one of domestic abuse. The story which captured BU’s attention is titled The Sins of the Barbadian Father: P. Antonio “Boo” Rudder . We take this opportunity to invite parties identified to rebut through the following BU link – Send Confidential Message.

Barbados has a legal obligation to protect women and girls from domestic violence and sexual violence including sexual harassment. The State is required to put the necessary legal and administrative mechanisms in place to adequately protect women and girls from these forms of violence and to provide them with access to just and effective remedies. There must be sustained efforts by the State (such as continuous training of law enforcement personnel and judicial officers, sensitizing the media, educating the public) to challenge the stereotypical attitudes dominant in Barbados which help to perpetuate violence against women and girls. – quote via Caribbean UNWomen

Discover more from Barbados Underground

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

233 responses to “Focus Barbados Blog: The Sins of P.Antonio “Boo” Rudder”

  1. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    What is the “CULTURAL PARADIGM OF THE TIME”??? Mr. Rudder knew of it, raised his son in it and I was never informed about it….until after being abused. Why do others deny and remain silent about this “PARADIGM”??? Why am I attacked and stigmatized for seeking an understanding about a system that seeks to VICTIMIZE me? I choose empowerment and so here I am. Talk to me people!!! Tell me who you are! And word is bond.

  2. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    It’s a shame that I have to address my questions and resolutions with every outside body besides the people who got me here. I had to read that damn book just to find a few quotes to stimulate me into some sort of pathological framework of the Rudder and/or Bajan attitude. All I wanted was to understand what happened to me in BARBADOS. I ended up finding social injustices. Here I am.

    Mr. Rudder states that in BARBADIAN CULTURE there is: a rather ugly aspect of male domination of the female population. Moreover, society no longer gives tacit approval.”

    His son received APPROVAL of his “MALE DOMINATION” of me by his parents, police and the courts in their discriminatory actions toward me and with the preferential treatment the Rudder’s are receiving….which stems from this “UGLY ASPECT” of “INCIDENCE”. If. Antonio can just move on and is INNOCENT, and if the SINS OF THE FATHER don’t matter,…who ABUSED ME and who will take RESPONSE-ABILITY???

  3. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    Chad…that is what Bajan women, girls, Caribbean women and girls were socialized to believe by their brutalizing abusers, that sickness was passed on from generation to generation by sick male to sick male and by sick female to sick female in a vicious psychopathic cycle, hence there is so much mental disease associated with the practice of brutalizing women and children….it is rubbish and detrimental to a healthy family life.

    I can’t for the life of me understand how adults in 2016 can see any of this behavior as normal….it reeks of mental disease.

  4. chad99999 Avatar
    chad99999

    WW&C: You have imbibed the feminist Kool-Aid, and now you seek to dominate and control men. You are blind to female privilege, obsessed with real or imagined slights, and any evidence of “disrespect” from men, etc. You have no idea how many fights are started by women, because you don’t care. You believe any claims made by women, because you are only interested in the female side of any story.
    Well, half the human population is male and you ought to be taking our interests into account as well.

  5. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    No Chad…more than half the population in every country is female…females are always in the majority. I do have to take male interests into account seeing as I too have sons, grandsons, etc to think about and do not know who or what they may meet while out there.

    I am not disputing that many females, due to the way they were raised and socialized are just as much a problem as the males who were raised and socialized the same way, a toxic mix.

    These social problems did not start yestrrday, but decades ago and have a very long way to go before they are remedied….continous violence will not solve them for sure, better solutions are required..and both males and females need to put their education to good use while reining in all those heated emotions, show discipline and maturity.

  6. chad99999 Avatar
    chad99999

    As usual, you are wrong. In major Asian countries like India and China, there are more males than females in the population

  7. bajans Avatar
    bajans

    In my opinion, women who stay in abusive relationships are lacking in self esteem and think the men more than they.

    Two men raised their hands at me. The first one I actually beat up. Then, I cut his shoe laces, filled his shoes with water and threw him out in the middle of winter to walk the mile or so home. I am sure he never raised his hand at another woman again.

    The second one slapped me a party for dancing two tunes with a mutual friend. I told him, in case he was not aware, that in this country men do not hit women. I warned him that if he raised his hand at me again, I would call the police. He laughed and told me I would do nothing because I loved him too much. I committed this statement to memory. The second time, I tried licking his ass, but he was bigger and taller and I got the short end of the stick. I called the police, laid charges, went to court, he was found guilty of common assault, a criminal offence and was ordered deported.

    Since then, I have warned every man I have dated that I do not take any foolishness from men. Incidentally, I kept the witness cheque of $6. to show my stupid female friends who have suffered at the hands of husbands and boyfriends that I walk the talk. The court case was in 1974 and I still have that cheque to this day. I also show it to men to show them that I mean business.

    I could never want a man that badly.

  8. ac Avatar
    ac

    listen every situation is different but to say that All of the women lacked self esteem iis trying to simplify complicated and complex issues which cannot walrus be easily resolved
    Those who choose to stay can be categorized differently one of which can be low self esteem or self doubt doubts triggered by fear ! joblessness ! no family support! no where to live ! having two or more children and a total confused mind trying to filter whether leaving is the best way out! or staying hoping that the situation might get better
    i believe most stay drawn into a belief that things would get better, There is also another side where couples stay together and domestic violence was never a cause of concern but unfortunate circumstance arise which uproots what was once a stable and happy family environment
    In that case what does the couple do although the options are available to arrest the problems there would still be battles of tempers and anger where both couples might have to make hard choices leading to separation which brings with it more problems and legal ramifications and pain and heartache if children are involved
    sometimes looking from the out side seems a lot easier than “living it”

  9. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    Chad…in Europe and North America you find more females than males…Asian countries did not let females live before, the preference was for males, they are now reversing that policy, particularly China, with the one child rule, has now been extended to 3 kids, so females will now have a better chance of survival, it was not natural, but man made. Countries that instituted that ruthlessness against females for many decadesm found themselves with a reproduction problem, males cannot breed males, hence their about turn…Japan has another type of social problem where they are not reproducing at the rate they were before the bomb got dropped on them, so with all those underlying man made problems, Asia is now transitioning to understand that females are essential to the survival of the human race.

    You still dont get it Chad, without a female, you would not be here.

  10. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @ocusbarbados February 22, 2016 at 3:25 PM “I’m thankful for my personally autographed copy of said book! May you all go out and buy your own copy! ”

    I am curious as to why you would want to keep the book?

    my mother who had to travel to the great white north to fix a son-out law, immediately upon her return to Barbados ripped up all photographs of him, including the wedding pictures, and tossed them in the garbage along with egg shells, coffee grounds, tea bags, left over food, fish heads etc. and until the end of her days never mentioned his name again.

    I would advise you to burn your copy of the book,

    End the relationship.

    Delete any evidence that it ever existed.

  11. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @focusbarbados February 23, 2016 at 2:48 PM “As a TOURIST I came to Barbados to be free of violence. I wasn’t just “abused” by Antonio but a wide range of factors came in to place after the hitting and I never left until I understood what happened and what I must do to resolve the entire problem.

    But the problem wasn’t you, therefore you had nothing to resolve,

    It is always the beater who has a problem, and it is HIS RESPONSIBILITY (not yours) to resolve HIS PROBLEM.

  12. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    Hi. The book and any other relevant materials are in my “case file”. I am still addressing what happened and pursing legal remedies. Until there is a REAL RESOLUTION, I am no longer in the relationship but it ain’t over until…..

  13. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    Do any if you mind me asking you why you aren’t asking: WHY DID HE STAY? Why did he abuse in the first place? And then why didn’t he leave???

    There can only be VICTIM BLAMING (low self esteem, she didn’t fight back, she didn’t keep her receipt to show other males she don’t play that shite, she asked for it, she attracted it, she wanted it, she is too intelligent, she stayed too long and so she deserves it)…. There is no such thing as ABUSER BLAME????

  14. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @focusbarbados February 24, 2016 at 12:16 AM “There is no such thing as ABUSER BLAME????”

    Yes there is. See this copied from my post at 11:56 pm “It is always the beater who has a problem, and it is HIS RESPONSIBILITY (not yours) to resolve HIS PROBLEM.”

  15. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    Ok @Simple Simon. Thanks. I see. And I hear you. He resolved his problem by abusing me, keeping it a secret, blaming me for calling the police, bullying me into have the charges dropped and when I wouldn’t he tried to manipulate me through fear of abandonment. Abuse after abuse. The trauma and anxiety became too much for me. Still I rise. I am working on resolving MY PROBLEM his breaking of the law and the violation of my HUMAN (masculinist and feminist) rights.

  16. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    The men on this thread remind me of every time a MALE police officer interacted with me during the ordeal. I had never seen or experienced anything like it in my life. I guess it was apart of the “CULTURAL PARADIGM” Boo diagnosed. The 1st time I called the Christ Church police in 2012, 4 showed up in a jeep. They didn’t get out the car. They made me speak to them through the window. They were relaxed, uninvolved and sarcastic. They asked me what I did to provoke him. I told him: He said I wouldn’t shut up and they laughed and shunned me. They asked me how I expected them to go arrest Antonio after I told him he was a musician and the band was supposed to leave for New York the next day. They asked me how I thought that would look. They asked me didn’t I just want them to go warn him instead. And they didn’t take a statement, they weren’t doing anything but sitting there intimidating me. Again, IM A TOURIST and I was unfamiliar with Bajans, Barbados, the police process, and unaware of the injustices ensuing.
    BUT U had the gut feeling that I had just been mishandled by the police and after they drove off I called 211 and asked to report them. …..and more events unfolded.

  17. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    Another incident at a different date, I called the police a female and male officer showed up. The MALE wouldn’t look at me, speak to me,…I could feel it although I was barely conscious from Antonio breaking an industrial broom in half across the side of my face (the last time he ever assaulted me), that the officer was ANGRY. So the female officer was writing my statement for me and he had to heae everything she was asking me and he was HUFFING AND PUFFING. I wondered: “WHY THE HELL AM I!?!?!!

  18. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    The men on this thread have begin to avoid addressing me. I partially appreciate it because some of the comments are hilariously discriminatory and insensitive but aside from that I guess I am still traumatized by the lack of empathy I receive as if I’ve done something wrong by being abused. A friend told me many women call the police and don’t go through with it and that angers men. I was just a tourist. Too bad I didn’t understand the CULTURAL PARADIGM.

    Another incident at a different date, I called the police a female and male officer showed up. The MALE wouldn’t look at me, speak to me,…I could feel it although I was barely conscious from Antonio breaking an industrial broom in half across the side of my face (the last time he ever assaulted me), that the officer was ANGRY. So the female officer was writing my statement for me and he had to heae everything she was asking me and he was HUFFING AND PUFFING. I wondered: “WHY THE HELL AM I!?!?!!

  19. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    Pardon the various type errors.

  20. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    The male officer insisted as I rode with them to pick up Antonio (so he could ride in the car with us as they instructed he would sit in the front and me in the back) that I STOP CRYING!!!! He wasn’t having it! I was pushed further and further into trauma with every encounter I had. This sometimes made it easier to just deal with Antonio rather than a bunch of other strange angry men who were just as abusive!

  21. bajans Avatar
    bajans

    @focusbarbados

    you are hurting yourself emotionally and psychologically by rehashing all of this abuse. In other words, you are further abusing yourself. Let it go and let the process you have started be completed. I would suggest you get some therapy and move on.

    My sons father did not physically abuse me, but emotionally and psychologically he did. As far as I am concerned, abuse is abuse. When I spoke to him about breaking off the relationship he told me I “could not live without him”. He stopped paying maintenance. I hauled his ass into court and have not spoken to the idiot in 32 years. I wanted nothing to do with him, his family nor his friends. You have to amputate these bastards at both ankles. No capillary movement.

  22. Alvin Cummins Avatar
    Alvin Cummins

    @Focus and of course Well Well.
    Having gotten out of an abusive relationship it is best to put it behind you, otherwise it eats you out like a cancer that is inoperative.
    When my relationship soured (after 17 yARS), I LEFT EVERYTHING, not without feeling the pangs, AND STARTED OVER AGAIN. I HAVE NO BITTERNESS, FOUND SOMEONE NEW AND FRESH, AND GOT ON WITH MY LIFE. MATTER FIXED. BOO SENIOR, HAS NO RESPONSIBILITIES TO, OR FOR HIS SON, AND CERTAINLY NO ONE ELSE, UNLESS INVITED.

  23. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    It does not always work out that way or that well Alvin….I take it you were never violent to the partner involved and if you were you could not have been living in North America or you would have been imprisoned.

    The point here is, that violence against females is accepted and acceptable by the society in Barbados and the Caribbean. Do you not remember hearing in the area in which you grew up grown men and women with their ignorance and pack mentality egging on a stupid man, in front of children to “beat she, she want licks, she en no good, you have to discipline she and lick in she r******e.

    Violence against women should never be accepted.

  24. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    Well Well & Consequences February 24, 2016 at 6:47 PM “Do you not remember hearing in the area in which you grew up grown men and women with their ignorance and pack mentality egging on a stupid man, in front of children to “beat she, she want licks, she en no good, you have to discipline she and lick in she r******e.”

    Dear Well Well: Truthfully i have never witnessed that.

  25. David Avatar
    David

    BU recommends our readership to follow the the Jimmy Savile child abuse issue at the BBC delivered by Same Janet Smith.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/jimmy-savile/12172773/Jimmy-Savile-sex-abuse-report-to-be-published-live.html

    http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/live/2016/feb/25/savile-bbc-abuse-report-to-be-published-live-updates?CMP=twt_gu

  26. de Ingrunt Word Avatar
    de Ingrunt Word

    @David, that is an interesting connection you have made…well it is interesting as a standalone subject as it really has little in common with this blog beyond the issue of physical abuse.

    Why it’s interestiing to a Bajan audience is : COULD we EVER see such an expose bout HERE. Of course not!

    On one hand, according to some of our non-coffee drinking bloggers , such matters are not part of our culture and its the agitation of outsiders who whip up a distorted frenzy.

    But on the other hand, being as small as we are any comparable widespread instances of such behaviour going back over such a period would touch nerve centers of current power more directly than desired creating a tsunami of problems.

    So sir, I go wid the beverage drinkers on this one and too bury my conscience: we culture deal wid that and we don’t have dem sorta things bout here cause our men are different and don’t interfere wid children under their tutelage and guidance.

    And back to you though, what exactly again are you trying to tell us wid dis link…do you have some documents waiting to see the light of day!

  27. ac Avatar
    ac

    i dont fault her for wanting to be “open” and wanting to share her feeling it is also aids in healing of the mind emptying the clutter and bitterness.most psychologist has recommended sharing orally or verbally as a step towards mental healing

  28. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    Simple. ..Neither have I and it’s not only because I was not raised on the island…..the comment was addressed to Alvin and the area where he was raised and certain other areas in Barbados where these incidences are known to occur on a daily basis.

    I guess it depends on the area where one was raised, socialized and their exposure to the negative ways domestic issues are handled regardless of which area they lived…and that would apply to any country.

  29. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    Savile was treated like some earth bound god in England, many knew he was a lowlife pedophile with a pretentious pimphood title from buckingham palace, many pedophiles in Britain have those titles and their pedophilia is covered up, until exposed……pedophiles on the island have been protected for decades and are only now being exposed….bring on that sex offender registry and start protecting children instead of pedophiles and rapists for a change….let everyone on the island and across the world know the identities of these lowest form of life.

  30. David Avatar
    David

    @Dee Word

    We will have to wait until the new legislation is proclaimed.

  31. Alvin Cummins Avatar
    Alvin Cummins

    @Well Well,
    Even in the area where I was born; (not raised) but traversed daily, the things imagined by you did not occur, neither daily nor monthly. In fact the one occasion I can remember, where it occurred in Nelson Street, a man; Rupert was his name, who many people regarded as a simpleton, who walked through Nelson street, protected a woman by standing over her, raising his stick; which he always walked with every day, and daring the woman beater to raise his hand to hit her again. He never did. Rupert may have been a simple man, but he had a sense of what was wrong. He acted in defence of the woman. Many people do not act when they should, even if it may be regarded by others as ” not my business.”

    In many cases it is easier to walk away, as I did. But you forget, or conveniently ignore, that the reverse happens quite often. It is not reported, but many men suffer emotional abuse; leading them to suicide, or quite often scarred for life. In many cases the male simply says to his buddies: “I cyan tek it huh more.” and resorts to alcohol to soothe his wounds. Domestic abuse is equal on both sides, but because it is more often reported when the woman is abused, it gives a different view to the public at large.

  32. Alvin Cummins Avatar
    Alvin Cummins

    My linguistic error . Should have been >….eats you like a cancer that is inoperable… not inoperative.

  33. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    Alvin…I did not expect you to be standing on the road or hearing/witnessing domestic abuse every day, I distinctly said that it happens in certain areas but I also suggested that is not only confined to certain areas.

    In depressed areas, because of social problems there is likely to be a higher r0incidence in such behavior. I will not go so far as to say it’s equal on both sides, unless there is a survey and men actually start speaking out, we know it exists though….in all levels of society.

  34. islandgal Avatar
    islandgal

    “The nation is in pain as people are prisoners in their homes and women, men and children are being abused daily, says head of the Trinidad and Tobago Police Service Victim and Witness Support Unit, Margaret Sampson-Browne.
    More than 300 women have been murdered as a result of domestic violence for the period 2005 to 2015.
    Children are suffering— a six-year-old boy was so badly sexually assaulted by his own father that the child was no longer anal-retentive.
    A man was abused by his wife who took a heater and held it against his chest, burning the impression of the heater into him.”

    Trinidad express

    https://youtu.be/JqdfjulD4YI

  35. islandgal Avatar
    islandgal

    http://www.guardian.co.tt/news/2012-07-22/victims-and-witness-support-unit-head-our-children-are-crisis

  36. islandgal Avatar
    islandgal

    Rhonda Krystal Rambally
    Published:
    Sunday, July 22, 2012
    Head of the Victims and Witness Support Unit of the Trinidad and Tobago Police Service, Margaret Sampson-Browne, explains the data on abuse in Trinidad at the Voices workshop on domestic violence and child abuse held at the Centre of Excellence, Macoya, yesterday. PHOTO: NICOLE DRAYTON

    The number of reports to the Victim and Witness Support Unit of the T&T Police Service has already reached 841 for this year. Of that number, 300 of the victims from the Central Division made reports of domestic violence, rape and child abuse. Retired assistant commissioner of police Margaret Sampson-Browne who manages the unit said this yesterday at a symposium titled Voices held at the Centre of Excellence, Macoya.

    Speaking about the figure in Central, she said, “Those are people who are saying that they are brave enough to come and make a report. “Those who can’t take it anymore.” She spoke of a situation in Couva where a man beat his wife, put her out of the home, and was “interfering” with his daughters. She said another daughter, 14, bore two children for the father.

    From 2008 to July 21, 2012, Sampson-Browne said the unit’s response to dealing with “clients” had increased. The number of victims who contacted the unit for assistance during that period was 2,267. The symposium was hosted by Carol Maharaj of Care One Consultant Services.

    The guest speaker was Carolyn Thomas from Texas, US, whose story as a survivor of domestic abuse has been followed worldwide. Thomas appeared on the Maury Show, Larry King and on Oprah, twice. Her ex-boyfriend, who is serving two 30-year life sentences, shot her at point-blank range in December 2003.

    Thomas suffered catastrophic facial injuries and was not expected to live. Her mother was also shot and died from her injuries. Sampson-Browne also spoke about another situation where a girl under ten was forced to perform sexual acts on her uncle while her sister remained outside the room.

    “Our children are in crisis in Trinidad and Tobago,” she said. She said children were being damaged, destroyed and molested and made to behave as adults by those they trusted.

  37. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ Islandgal
    “Our children are in crisis in Trinidad and Tobago,”
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Trinidad has been in crisis now for DECADES.
    Economic prosperity based on oil only masked the cancer because we brass bowls tend to see ‘success’ as some economic reality.
    In the meantime, the cancer was spreading…

    Barbados is speeding headlong down the identical road…..
    …and “we driver can’t drive either….”

  38. Piece uh de Rock yeah right!!! Avatar
    Piece uh de Rock yeah right!!!

    @ Well Well,

    Others here will claim amnesia but I cannot.

    The goading of which you speak was a serious issue in times gone by in Barbados.

    “yes gi she some more warm licks man, she feel dat she greater than anyone bout heah…”

    That was a reality and while the goading might be less rampant nowadays i can send you two videos right now that show woman being beaten while people stand by and watch. IN BARBADOS, as late as December last year.

    Both resulted in the death of the woman being beaten so dont let us get stupid and forgetful Alvin and Simple Simon.

    One particular incident was in Town where a woman was being beaten by a known Rummiel.

    One of the onlookers a man of dubious gender stood at the window goading on the beater “kick she, kick she some more”

    When the body went inert he said “my man you like you kill she..” and ran from the window flailing his hands in the air.

    The police were summoned and the woman was carried to the hospital unconscious and died 3 days later.

    The beater, on being told of her death, attempted and failed to commit suicide by using gramoxone and was arrested by the police.

    When wunna come heah to give testimony of a thing PLEASE be truthful or we end up telling Transparency International that “All is Well in BulBados” and the man who is in St John on the street leading from the new horspital, who has been living with his three daughters for over 30 years, is just a figment of the imagination, and that the Friendly Association of Forresters has not protected him when the police have been sent to intercede.

    Wake up and get real and fight the scourge

  39. de Ingrunt Word Avatar
    de Ingrunt Word

    Mr. Pieces, surely Angela Cole – aka Veronica Cutting Naked Departure circa 1970s ‘Clothed Arrival’ site (apologies for appropriation Bushie)- wud had to be saying only great things bout back den!!!

    How you so honest and pellucid tho, bout de real and true sordid historical underbelly and some of your age contemporaries seem to have all that amnesia fogging up the place!

    Boo’s son didn’t start the domestic abuse scourge and he certainly ain’t going be the last in that fray either. And Naked Departure didn’t create that nastiness seen there either.

    Wait anyone remember when AIDS first took public flight in BIM…what was it, 30+ years ago…almighty father what a conniption if social media was around.

    I recall that a nice bright red Toyota Corolla (hot car of the day) was available real, real cheap because the pretty boy owner (went school there in Roebuck St, too) was reputed to be too fond of the BACK seat…and on his death people didn’t want to touch the car.

  40. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    That’s the problem in Barbados Piece..they are too lying and hypocritical, like to bury the negatives and pretend they dont exist, continue to wish them away and then pretend they are gone…

    I was on vacation there in the late 70s as a young female and saw such an incident, the pack mentality when seeing women and children brutalized and killed, is embedded in theirpsyche…between last year and this year I have seen some horrendous videos on the beating and killing of females in Barbados, Trinidad and other Caribbean islands, they are beasts to condone that type of treatment on each other, just beasts….I cannot even view anymore of those videos because they are so brutal.

    De Word…no one else is telling you but Angela Cole is a female in her 70s at least…I do not think she and Cutting are one and the same. Cole’s books and experiences with politicians and all types of influential people in the late 60s and 70s, have have around long before the female who lives in the US came on the scene with ND…Piece would give you better info on that than I can.

  41. TheGazer Avatar
    TheGazer

    Good point WW&C. If everything that was said by ND was true, some people would still have an issue with the site. They all want to buy land and hide to work it. ND has them scurrying like roaches that had a bright like trained on them.

    Just hoping she is more careful when it comes to material about children.

  42. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    Thank you all for hearing me and engaging in am dialogue. “THE SINS OF THE BARBADIAN FATHER” whoever he may be must be taken into account as well as those of the MOTHER and every other LEADER in BARBADIAN society.

    My story may not be palatable for everyone’s taste and at this time (unlike Naked Departure) I only have my own to share. If that bores, underwhelms, discourages or prompts some to think I need counseling due to my sharing, I understand. I too have difficulty being interested in things that don’t seem to benefit me. I too can be selfish about what I give my attention.

    There is a major SOCIAL ISSUE in Barbados that is a PUBLIC HEALTH concern regarding ABUSE in all forms. BARBADOS, focus!!!!! #ProtectTheChildren.

    Thank you all for being nice to me and trying to offer words of encouragement, insight and healing. My blog and other efforts will continue because I am now tied to Barbados regarding social concerns I have. I have “moved on” in many ways. I hope to be able to do more to help the women and children of the Caribbean someday soon. In regards to Antonio and his father, justice delayed meet its’ match. I won’t be denied.

    Take care everyone. Thanks BU and David for sharing an aspect of my blog. Please never fail to INTERVENE in public and online to help women speak out about abuse!

  43. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    Exactly Gazer…living in the US, she should be aware that disseminating info on children is a slippery slope, adults however, are fair game. Otherwise, exposure never killed anyone yet, particularly the public officials, politicians, business people and allround criminals who more than deserve the exposure.

  44. de Ingrunt Word Avatar
    de Ingrunt Word

    WW&C, re your 3:39 post, either you are extremely smart and like to play word games; need to change your prescription for your glasses/contacts or failed English comprehension miserably.

    Or maybe I just write very, very badly….let’s go wid dat one.

    Cause if you read my posts re Angela Cole and Veronica Cutting and come away wid the perspective that I am commingling de two of dem as the same person, as contemporaries or anything so den one of the above gotta be in play.

    I hope @Pieces got the thrust of my facetious remarks causing they certainly bounced over your head….Oh lawd…you are good for a laugh fah trute.

  45. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    #UNICEF noted that #Barbados rejected the notion that it required appropriate legislative and administrative measures to combat #domesticviolence and physical abuse of children. With further regard to the UPR recommendation on “taking appropriate legislative and administrative measures to fight against domestic violence and #physicalabuse of children, and engage in an exchange of information with those countries that are developing best practices in these fields”, UNICEF noted that the reporting procedure was an area that needed attention. Barbados did not have mandatory reporting requirements, a situation that appeared to have compromised efforts to create a centralised system to handle all #childabuse cases. In the absence of any written policies or protocols, consistent reporting of child abuse to the #ChildCareBoard was left to chance. There were a few oral protocols with some agencies, but generally reporting was discretionary and occurred on an ad hoc basis.

    #ProtectTheChildren
    https://focusbarbados.wordpress.com/2015/04/30/protocol-for-mandatory-child-abuse-reporting-has-been-delayed-year-after-year-in-barbados-as-the-number-of-child-abuse-cases-increased/

  46. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    #Domesticviolence against women and children, and sexual harassment, occur all over the world. However, reports suggest that they are particularly serious problems here in #Barbados and in other #Caribbean countries, and rape is shockingly commonplace,” said the #UN High Commissioner for #HumanRights, Navi Pillay, in a statement at the end of her visit to the country in April 2012.

  47. Mobert Avatar
    Mobert

    @ focus,

    You like you need a lil education in dealing wid bad men, from one a dem Trini girls…. dem does know how to fix them good.

    As fuh yuh claimed abuser, be careful, there are two issues.

    One, yes, crudity, abuse and violence is, by many people, seen as ‘normal’ in Buhbim.

    Two, a separate issue is that there are psychopaths in every society and if what you say is true, yuh butt up pun one.

    You nor anyone else cannot treat and heal such a person. Read up on them, they exist, BOTH men AND women.

    No remorse and when they do not get their way, go to any extreme including violence.

    What you describe as your ‘friend’s’ face changing when he did not get his way, that is typical.

    Let me guess, sweet fuh days and then suddenly angry, yes?

    One thing to do with such a person, when such is encountered.

    Either run, or defend yourself FULLY.

    But full self defense can get you in a silly legal parangle, because this nonesne of ‘cuh dear but he din bad’..

    Better, run and stay far clear.

    One day a bully meets a bugger bully.

  48. Mobert Avatar
    Mobert

    focus, ps, not to make light of women’s issue, I fully understand.

    The state should make clear and ready provision for women (or men) who leave an abuser.

    That should include protection against violence, clean and safe housing, does not have to be large, and provision for medical and food aid (where the woman was dependent).

    Because too many women stay with some abusive xhit for too long.

    Get this clear, you cant fix a jackaxx. You get that??

    You CANNOT fix such a person.

    A violent person is a violent person. Get over the psycho babble nonsense.,

  49. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    @Mobert wow! Your words bring a few tears to my eyes. Thank you for “caring” and sharing. You are right! I never encountered a PSYCHOPATH until I met him and I never faught him back until the last time when I yelled out: “You are gonna have to stop hitting me” and I screamed for help and resisted which are 2 things I never had the “COURAGE” to do before. His own mother wished she could have him admitted into an institution against his will but Barbados doesn’t allow for that type of intervention.
    “You like you need a lil education in dealing wid bad men, ”

    I guess the SINS OF MY FATHER come back to haunt him because any time I come face to face with any man who hurts me in any minor or major way it’s my father who has to hear about it and guide me. But although my father carries a licensed gun, played professional basketball and served in the military he never talked to me about BAD MEN and the need for SELF DEFENSE. I did become a little more “docile” around Antonio. Now I know better. And will take note of all you’ve shared. Thank you.

  50. focusbarbados Avatar
    focusbarbados

    @Mobert, yes I hear you. The book I wrote about this ordeal I named: THE QUICK FIX TRILOGY: Corresponding Destiny. It’s inspired by a quote:
    It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” Frederick Douglass

    I hear you. I learned my lesson. And I lived to tell it. Give thanks.

    You say:
    The state should make clear and ready provision for women (or men) who leave an abuser.

    That should include protection against violence, clean and safe housing, does not have to be large, and provision for medical and food aid (where the woman was dependent).

    EXACTLY!!!! Feb 2015 Antonio left the island and without warning had my POWER turned off because the account was his name as it had to be because I was not a local. When I had to sit in that house for days I knew then I WOULD NEVER BE DENIED JUSTICE in this matter!! And the STATE, fathers, mothers, and dogs and cats (whoever has ears to hear) wont stop hearing from me until this matter is resolved responsibly.

The blogmaster invites you to join and add value to the discussion.

Trending

Discover more from Barbados Underground

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading