Focus Barbados Blog: The Sins of P.Antonio “Boo” Rudder

boo_rudder

P.Antonio ‘Boo’ Rudder

The blogsite Focus Barbados is interesting. The focus of the blogmaster is on the elephant subject in Barbados, one of domestic abuse. The story which captured BU’s attention is titled The Sins of the Barbadian Father: P. Antonio “Boo” Rudder . We take this opportunity to invite parties identified to rebut through the following BU link – Send Confidential Message.

Barbados has a legal obligation to protect women and girls from domestic violence and sexual violence including sexual harassment. The State is required to put the necessary legal and administrative mechanisms in place to adequately protect women and girls from these forms of violence and to provide them with access to just and effective remedies. There must be sustained efforts by the State (such as continuous training of law enforcement personnel and judicial officers, sensitizing the media, educating the public) to challenge the stereotypical attitudes dominant in Barbados which help to perpetuate violence against women and girls. – quote via Caribbean UNWomen

233 comments

  • @ IslandGal
    …and all along Bushie thought we broke up because you found out that the Bushman had a bigger 2X4 than yours….

    @ David
    Life is seen as complex and mostly devoid of logical explanations….
    However the idea of ‘self-healing’ by lashing out at those who hurt us is mostly counter-productive. It is the kind of mentality that led the idiot in Kalamazoo last week to indiscriminately shoot innocent people…
    The VERY BEST revenge is to move on and find a successful life with a decent partner – armed with the experience of the mistake- and let the idiot stew in their loneliness…

    Constantly reliving the horror in perpetual self-pity just makes you a permanent victim – and gives the suggestion that you were a big part of the original problem…

    Liked by 1 person

  • @Bush Tea

    In the perfect world and following the scrip yes. For some it is messy and this is when all hands must get on deck to bring closure.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Yes BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAL..words like GET OVER IT! MOVE ON. are easier said than done. Most of us can still relive the memories of child hood whippings.yes we got over but the memories still longer . Yes we got over because our family members were our outreach programs who we could turn to as they remnded us of their undying love for us which slowly a love but words and actions which took away the pain and heartache of the sting of the belt or the tamarind rod . Yes that was love that help us to heal and forget and forgive our parents.
    The victim of domestic violence does not have those tools of enderament from the abusers most of the pain the victim suffers is in solace and isolation afraid and ashamed of speaking out relying on instinct to get them out of the noise and confusions that swirls around in their head hoping for that one moment of civility to breakaway but afraid to instanteously respond unaware of what the future holds
    So how !where!or when does healing first begin. It begins with the freedom of the mind letting the abusers know that they would be held accountable for their actions, relinquishing all “rights” to the abusers .Not being afraid of speaking out. Not being being afraid ever of how society, family members think or say of methods used to free the mind heal the body on the way to recovery. Healing can only begin when the mind is FREE of FEAR.Then acceptance of any role attributed to one self along the path of violence makes way for a better understanding of the whys and hows easing the pain and suffering clearing the clutter which stiffle and muzzled the mind helping to let go of a past replacing and replenishing it with better choices and self respect

    Liked by 2 people

  • David,
    Would I be wrong if I diagnosed Focus… as a “psychological masochist?”

    Liked by 1 person

  • Correction. With words and actions which slowly took the pain away .a love of words and actions which took away the pain of the belt….

    Liked by 1 person

  • Why would the victim of domestic abuse who is reaching out to an audience now become victimised “again” by overreaching and extension of what the victim had endured during the years attributed to name calling during the years of abuse.
    There are areas of domestic violence that are so violent physically and verbally that unless one has gone through such an experience the mind cannot comprehend.
    Those looking from the outside read words but cannot feel or experience the pain or violence.

    Liked by 2 people

  • pieceuhderockyeahright

    @ AC

    I again apologize to all but AC I once again have to say that which I have only said twice here on BU, I agree with you.

    @ My Brother Bush Tea

    Pretty young thing in the front seat of the woseley, first evening out with prospects of honey in my eyesight and the headlights of a challenging Datsun 120 Y in my rear lights

    And Lilith number two’s soft voice from soft lips, goading the ole (much younger then) man to press down me right foot pun de gas even further than the 80 miles per hour along South District leading to that death corner at Boarded Hall Police Station and de ole man floored it and left the Datsun in my dust.

    I was ignorant as badword going through that corner at over 100 miles per hour and even more foolish when after sampling Liliths reward hours later, I married the incarnation of all things bad in this world.

    My point to you is that when we are young, we’re young, we do/did really stupid things that when we get older we rue the day we saw, and lusted, and lay with said angelic looking being.

    To FocusBarbados I say that pain, while it will come in different forms – broomstick, cow stake or 2×4 or cutlass, is not unique to one sex or the other, even the transgenders are abused. I have to be politically correct. But man is an unkind beast for in all the animal kingdom it it only man that kills for sport and abuse is cousin to that practice. Rwanda is my personal reminder of what my people are.

    I will hazard a guess that right now there are one million phones worldwide or what’s apps that are being used to convey the exact message of abuse that she is experiencing to at least one more listener.

    Ole men like men and Alvin find it anathema for someone to come out and “air their panties in public” on the blogosphere BUT they way I look at it is if it saves one life to shame a man, rather an abuser, into counseling and ultimately stopping his behaviour, then it is the right thing to happen, until we force change.

    By Any Means Necessary

    Liked by 1 person

  • @Bush

    Come on man!!! Lighten up! Why get your “panties ruffled” by my WORDS?

    Would you get PISSED enough to “Shut me up”???

    Do I deserve to be silenced…by any means necessary?

    I thought in your earlier comments you stated Antonio must have been “intellectually inferior” to me…. You sounded like a man who could GO HOURS engaged in mental discourse without “tapping out”. And now you act as if you are held CAPTIVE by your captivation of my words. You are free to abandon the discussion just as ANTONIO RUDDER AND HIS BELOVED BOO were FREE TO ABANDON ME AND MY RAMBLINGS before he decided to become a CRIMINAL by ” beating me into submission”.

    I would suppose you AGREE with the methods he employed although your words seek to mask the SHARED PAIN you have with men who feel they are JUSTIFIED in bullying those who “ANNOY” them.

    I WILL have my say “Bush man”!!! And as PIECES advised if I can’t have a word with you, my letter writing campaign will provide me with all the BABBLING and RAMBLING that I need to annoy people like you into action…even if that means your very own ABUSIVE NATURE is exposed by your reaction to me.

    ANTONIO HAS NO EXCUSE. His provocation is his own ABUSIVE MIND.

    Like

  • @Pieces, you were high on some ‘speed’ that night it seems. Are you now saying that finally after all these long years that you have long ago stopped getting your ‘speed’ highs and also want to be waned of the Jamaican ‘tampi’.

    Is the latter even possible…LOLLL.

    Jokes aside, well said @ 12:38.

    I too wonder about your older brethren you referenced who now years later are also it appears swearing off the ‘speed’ of their youth though and forgetting what and how things happened back den!

    Liked by 1 person

  • Nice men come “a dime a dozen”….my problem is not that I have never had or wont ever be with another nice man who doesn’t hit. ANTONIO WAS THE FIRST MAN TO ABUSE ME! And he will be the last.

    My problem is not PAIN or lack of MOVING ON.

    My problem is ANTONIO getting away with what he did and thinking it’s okay and his father and country supporting him in that GRAVE ERROR.

    I am here as apart of the CORRECTIONS process. I AM NOT HERE AS A SELF PITY FILLED HELPLESS VICTIM. I am here as my own advocate and as an example for other women for how STANDING UP for yourself can never be too late. When survivors realize everyone else is STANDING DOWN is when her path becomes all the more clear as to NOT BE VICTIMIZED by a system that expects forgiveness for him, forgetting for her and never calculates the misfortunes in the process.

    I have never felt more HEALED as when I WRITE. I will do as PIECES advised.
    “I write what I like” – Steve Biko

    Like

  • Better question than the one asked of me:

    Is Antonio Rudder a SADOMASOCHIST?
    ….heck, the ANTI CHRIST even!?!?!!

    Funny how I’m out in the open facing scrutiny willingly but the VERY PERSON responsible for all INFLICTION of PAIN (even the pain in Bush man’s eyes while reading my words) and must be sitting back to all of our shock and dismay, ENJOYING every bit of PAIN he sees taking place because he does nothing to end it….funny how he gets no NAMES CALLED at him!

    There must be signs of “the brotherhood” of which he receives such privilege and entitlement to be a abuser without fault of his own.

    I cared. And that makes me a “pain lover and inflicter”…wow. You guys will come up with anything to “blame the victim” but can dig deep into your own bias and prejudice to see otherwise. Shame.

    Like

  • Piece’s…. Thank you.

    Like

  • @ piece
    I married the incarnation of all things bad in this world.
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    You, Sam Poochie and the Duppy…

    So why are you then not making a life out of harassing this ‘daughter of Satan’?
    Why not invest your time in documenting your experiences, attacking her mother, sister, grandparents and neighbours?
    Don’t you want to heal…?

    Oh wait…!! You married the sexy Jamaican church lady nuh?? ….dem Jamaicans don’t mek sport when they like yuh hear?!! Chances are you will live happily afterwards until your time runs out …or until she finds out what you write on that cuntputer…or about Sister Headley…

    Point is…. revenge is best served by not self-destructing.

    @ AC
    None of this applies to you….
    Anyone idiotic enough to commingle with you …DESERVES to suffer a ‘fate worse than living in a desert’…

    Like

  • This page comes in handy when reaching INTERNATIONAL bodies!
    Don’t be fooled by “likes”.

    Never understimate the POWER OF ONE!

    FACEBOOK: Focus Barbados
    https://m.facebook.com/trufocus/

    Like

  • @Bush

    As usual you mix my fault and fate with the abuser criminal.

    This is all apart of his SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR. It’s the domino effect his actions set in motion. My aim is AWARENESS. His downfall (if any) is directly tied to his ACTIONS and then INACTION. Yeah, I too pity the fool.

    Or maybe he will chant what we chanted as children: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

    Maybe you all prefer BROOMSTICKS and 2×4’s to get JUSTICE (not REVENGE) but words are my fortay. I just can’t please some people…including you.

    Oh well.

    Like

  • @ focusbarbados
    As usual you mix my fault and fate with the abuser criminal.
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    HUH!!??
    YOU have faults…?
    Really??!!

    Nah!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  • Bush shite your torrid attacks on me exposes your inner being one of an egostitical manical bombastic jacka.SS living in a darkened world long forgotten

    Liked by 1 person

  • @Bush….

    Steupse.

    Stop reading and commenting just as your fellow abuser criminal friends can stop hitting women and children.

    You show just how much REHABILITATION services it takes to curb such ABUSIVE ADDICTIONS.
    You also show the MASOCHISM which is prescribed for me. You say my WORDS pain you and yet you (like the women you say DESERVE to be abused) keep comin back for more! “Waaaaait” <<<in my Bajan dialect voice.

    The pot called the kettle black and exposed more of the CALLOUS, privileged HYPOCRISY received for men of the discriminatory anti-women voicing their dissent crowd who stand firm on their HUMAN RIGHT to ” GIVE SHE A LASH” whether it be verbal or physical.

    Leff me.

    Like

  • ****”received for men” should be

    “reserved for men”

    Like

  • Stop reading and commenting…? You serious?
    Where did Bushie say that your words pain him? LOL ha ha ha

    The Bushman is ALL about whacking shiite talk….. and is not intimidated by emotional gibberish from a female bully ..who seems only to have met her match….

    No wonder you took so long to leave an abusive partner – birds of a feather….. obviously your weapon of choice is emotional…but you were defeated by a physical abuser…and you are still trying to even the score….
    It will take more than some little hotheaded American loser to shut down the Bushman’s whacker.

    If it makes you feel better to keep harping about how you managed to goad some young hotheaded man into physically harming you – fine….enjoy…. you may even manage to gain sympathy from the soft-hearted ….who think that all women as ‘soft and harmless mothers and daughters’….. but Bushie can ‘see’ beyond the obvious….
    Ask Miller if Jezebel, Delilah or AC were men….

    Liked by 1 person

  • @Bush
    Lol! Wow.
    POOR ANTONIO! You will say anything to defend his actions and thus justify your suspicion of me and comments that again ” I wanted it”, “asked for it”, “deserved it”.

    You and him think BIG MEN of yourselves when you bully those you think less of. If all it takes is for me to “match wits” with those who think they can say and do anything to me and that eventually I wont RESPOND (what you call retaliation, revenge, etc) yes, I agree you are mistaken.

    You made several comments in the beginning of this thread that I never said anything about. I am very UNDERSTANDING and PATIENT which you in your need to VILLIFY me mislabel as a bully when I STAND UP FOR MYSELF after facing all kind of attacks.

    Again, you will look for any reason to blame me and expect me to run away SHAMED. You don’t have to respect my efforts at RESISTING the only outcome available as a conclusion based on my journey through the Barbados justice system: Antonio gets away with abuse. By seeking ALTERNATIVE resolutions that are APPARENTLY -emotionally disturbing- to you, but yeah as you keep suggesting Antonio and I both have the capacity to do what we think is right to cope with our emotions. HE ABUSES WOMEN. I learned to ask for my abuser to take responsibility for the consequences of his abuse.

    I understand that in your CULTURAL PARADIGM it’s unspeakable for a woman to seek JUSTICE without being considered a LOSER, VINDICTIVE WITCH, but hey, as you state, “AMERICAN” justice is that of PROTESTING (incessant rambling), LEGISLATING (reaching out to organizations like @Pieces suggested), and DEMANDING that people like you and Antonio (YOU FIND MORE IN COMMON WITH HIM than I do) help in the efforts to ELIMINATE violence against women not because you think I am worthy or guiltess but because IT’S INTERNATIONAL LAW….and Bajan law.

    Get over it.

    Like

  • “Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.” – an AMERICAN —Martin Luther King, Jr.

    again, I have taken note that my emotional demands ANNOY YOU (similar to the Bajan police men who couldn’t bear my crying in their police cars) and in your eyes annoyed Antonio enough to justify him attacking me. I see the connection in your behavior and his. Thanks for showing me how to SEE THE SIGNS of a POTENTIAL ABUSER: he can’t handle his frustrations, he blames others for his negative reactions.

    I’m handling my emotions by seeking the help of yup, —THOSE WHO CARE— …those who you bully, name call and make fun of because they come to the aid of the SURVIVORS of LOSER men who —-LOSE control—–(which reminds me to post the email where ANTONIO ADMITS HE LOST CONTROL and never mentions how Bush Tea gave him pre approval to abuse me because he thinks I should be silenced).

    Bush Tea, if you feel “hooked”, don’t take the bait. No matter what, you and HE still have the choice to resist that inner urge (that you project outward) compelling you to LASH out and/or LASH SHE UP.

    Do us all a favor: Resist me. Please!!!

    Like

  • The old people would say that you ‘want noticing…’

    Liked by 1 person

  • Yes, take note:

    In order to RAISE AWARENESS yup Bush Tea, it takes noticing. And for some that means IGNORING.

    The choice is yours. Own it.

    Like

  • NOTICE:

    Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress.
    – Frederick Douglass-

    “I CAN HEAR THE ROAR OF WOMEN’S SILENCE.”- Thomas Sankara !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (insert EMOTIONAL OUTBURST aka ROAR here)

    Like

  • this is a great rescource

    Liked by 1 person

  • Hi everyone! While you all get back to your daily routines in this short attention span world we live in, I just wanna update you on how FOCUSED I am.

    The Barbadian Minister of Social Care, Constituency Empowerment and Community Development said that domestic violence in Barbados “‘is often fed by poverty, dependency, lack of education or capacity and the absence of empowerment’” (qtd. in Nation 30 Mar. 2011). However, sources note that the problem of domestic violence affects women of all stratums of society in Barbados (CADRES [2009], 14; Nation 19 May 2010).

    In response I started mixing the ingredients for my nuclear bomb!
    The explosion sounds like EMPOWERMENT to me! Check it out for yourself!
    This is a podcast I created:
    The Sound of Empowerment

    In Barbados, there’s a resistance to exploring new ideas that challenge traditional boundaries, to embracing change that offers the possibility of bringing overall improvement to the society, and to seeing issues from other than the mainstream perspective.

    Generally speaking, the average Barbadian is unconscious of this reality, especially if he or she happens to have spent their entire life here. It often requires the liberating experience of living abroad, thus becoming detached from day-to-day Barbadian society, in order to see the situation for what it is.

    Barbadians have been conditioned from birth, through a form of socialization grounded in our British colonial past, to place limits on ourselves and to accept being conservative as
    a defining Barbadian characteristic which others recognize.
    -Quote Barbados Today-

    https://m.soundcloud.com/trufocus246/podcast-3-12-16-barbados-socialization

    Like

  • And……we have a new youtube page!!!

    Take care.

    Like

  • pieceuhderockyeahright

    @ FocusBarbados

    I honestly don’t know that to say.

    But i am going to say this anyways

    1) You have 5 really great themes here that commingling have done a slight disservice to any one of them as standalones

    2) The soundcloud podcast now enhanced to video of your encounters with the young man is interesting for a number of reasons (i) you gave aforethought to recording the session(s) which is good since it gives an insight into BOTH OF YOU. I would go further but suffice it to say that I will not diminish any victim of abuse but I will briefly say (ii) you enacted a scene that at 1.10 seconds to 1.12 seconds into the video displays a Jekyllian change that would support that word “enactment”

    3) Abuse is a standalone topic which while you tie it to the psyche and socialization and cultural dumbing down of the Bajan, trivializes the issue rather takes away the focus from the abuse matter.

    4) You have taken the very sensitive topic of abuse, some of which resulted in the deaths of people whose pictures and death scenes you have interwoven in your own matter and to that degree “too far east soon becomes west”

    5) As a topic in its own right, the sense of self and self development which impacts on the normal Bajan’s ability to “think outside of the box” is something that has some serious merits.

    While de ole man agrees with that theme/fact, I again revert to saying this is a topic of itself, one that could easily breed several documentaries that shed some alternative perspective on the national psyche and by extension on the “feeble exercise” that we are now pursuing for 50 years of Independence.

    6) There is too much text on the slide and this does not permit a viewer to soak up the message which you repeat when you are speaking.

    Each concept should be introduced separately and not “bunched’ and should “stay” in sight for enough time for the viewer to absorbs the text while listening to your words. You are not a cinematographer and neither am I but…this is sensory overkill, too much info to assimilate by eye and air, AT THE SAME TIME

    Grey font on black or red on orange DOES NOT PERMIT a viewer to see what is the message so for example where you show antonio in Qatar one cannot see what the words are and similarly Margaret Christopher’s ordeal is invisible because of the colours

    What starts to happen Focus Barbados is that with your commingling of serious topics, with your voiceovers of the Antonio matter, now starts to dilute your currency and makes both men and women who detest all forms of abuse pause, and view this in another light altogether.

    But doan mind me I is jes an ole man soon to depart with nothing to do during my retirement ok? and like we ole menses are wont to do, try to be relevant in our golden years and failing that make ourselves a bother to the world

    Liked by 1 person

  • @pieceuhderockyeahright, HEY! U always going on about how old and feeble u are! Hope u still alive to receive this message! So much has changed since my last post here almost a year ago. After the podcast and video I stepped away for a while. I’m actually just now receiving YOUR BEAUTIFUL feedback! I so appreciate it. Thank u for even checking out my messages.

    All of your feedback is important to me. And YOU ARE SO RIGHT! The effect of all my experiences during the abuse, surviving with the PTSD afterwards to this day and trying to tell the facts about what happened to me as well as unselfishly include voices of those who don’t or can’t SPEAK for themselves or use creativity as I do, resulting in SENSORY OVERLOAD. And that’s exactly how I felt, feel and would want others to experience the truth.

    I am not a professional with audio and video in regards to knowing exactly how to do what professionals do, but I am an artist who only had ART as a form of therapy and activism regarding ways in which I could spread information about my experience and the culture of abuse in Barbados.

    I am happy that you see the THEMES that I saw because connecting dots is something I learned to do when I had no answers. It took time for me to get my mind back before I could do the research and understand what happened to me in all the various themes and yes, I MIXED ALL THEM ALL TOGETHER because at the time everything was one big jumbled mass of chaos and confusion that I or someone else who cares would be able to unweave, sort thru and produce more appropriately when the time comes.

    Maybe now is the time for me to revisit and recapture those themes, ONE BY ONE. Maybe not. Maybe as u r suggesting, the ABUSE of me by Antonio Rudder, should be the only focus.

    I found that narror view to be too hard to portray. I was abused but I also lived on the island. Protecting the children is the TRUE THEME. We are all somebody’s child.

    Thank u so much for everything. I will never forget what happened to me because it won’t let me forget. And I will always be ready to add to this blog, to the podcast, to the YouTube, Facebook page, books, albums, paintings, and every tool within my God given talents to raise awareness and seek redress.

    My case in a human rights court is open and under review. —–THIS WAS AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN, the real bomb I had been mixing all along.

    Much love.

    Like

  • Reblogged this on Focus Barbados | Protect The Children and commented:

    Just updated a comment on this thread! It’s been a year since I’ve posted anything. I will be back soon.

    Like

  • Pingback: Picking Up the Pieces – Focus Barbados | Protect The Children

  • Another update: Today I was contacted for the first time to be of direct assistance in stopping Antonio Rudder from taking advantage of and abusing another woman.

    The elder sister of a Bajan woman named Marcelle, Julie, contacted me today from the USA. Her sister is in harm’s way and her intuitoont prompted her to reach out through the Focus Barbados blog for intervention.

    It’s been 3 years since my last interaction with these specific topics and I was apprehensive and in shock to finally receive verification that my suffering and blog has served their purpose: to help another woman not fall victim to an abusive predator named Antonio Rudder.

    After a few email exchanges and almost 2 hrs on the phone Julie and I agreed to pursue JUSTICE for all past and future victims of Antonio by making sure we collaborate our efforts to stop Antonio from harming Marcelle.

    To know the lengths at which another human being will take (traveling from BIM to USA to use and abuse) to cause injury to another is mind blowing and disheartening. However, counter balancing those efforts against the backdrop of A STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM and UNWAVERING SISTERHOOD in the face of evil, gives me a rededicated focus to carry on with my mission to PROTECT THE CHILDREN of Barbados, near and far, young and old, from facing these abuses alone.

    Marcelle may not agree with Julie’s efforts to intervene, just as many call me crazy for speaking out, but at the end of the day, we need more people to GET INVOLVED!

    You don’t have to suffer in silence. The signs are clearer now, because we can look at them together.

    I will be adding new blogs regularly. Stay tuned.

    Like

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