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Focus Barbados Blog: The Sins of P.Antonio “Boo” Rudder

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P.Antonio ‘Boo’ Rudder

The blogsite Focus Barbados is interesting. The focus of the blogmaster is on the elephant subject in Barbados, one of domestic abuse. The story which captured BU’s attention is titled The Sins of the Barbadian Father: P. Antonio “Boo” Rudder . We take this opportunity to invite parties identified to rebut through the following BU link – Send Confidential Message.

Barbados has a legal obligation to protect women and girls from domestic violence and sexual violence including sexual harassment. The State is required to put the necessary legal and administrative mechanisms in place to adequately protect women and girls from these forms of violence and to provide them with access to just and effective remedies. There must be sustained efforts by the State (such as continuous training of law enforcement personnel and judicial officers, sensitizing the media, educating the public) to challenge the stereotypical attitudes dominant in Barbados which help to perpetuate violence against women and girls. – quote via Caribbean UNWomen

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233 responses to “Focus Barbados Blog: The Sins of P.Antonio “Boo” Rudder”

  1. The Gazer Avatar
    The Gazer

    One can only guess at the level of frustration that is driving Barbadians to express their outrage through social media. Whatever path brought them to this state, they are no longer contented to be lambs lead to the slaughter but are raising proud, strong and beautiful voices towards the heavens. Only fools would not recognize that the times are changing.

    Wishing continued growth to BU and all other voices.

  2. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    I second that, the culture of silence, grinning and bearing it while keeping secrets for abusers of women and children, must be broken, it has been an accepted norm and blight on the island for far too long.

    Don’t care who the abusers and criminals are or think they are in the society, the rotten things they continue to do to the people must be exposed, they have used victims silence as acceptance for far too long and the authorities have been enabling them all for far too long, by not arresting them when victims try to seek justice…it’s a shame on the island that has to be removed.

  3. Bernard Codrington. Avatar
    Bernard Codrington.

    Very interesting from the point of view of a changing Barbadian culture and the impact on it of” people from over and away ‘. Domestic violence seems to be getting more public reportage. I can only hope that the objectives of this reportage is not to shame and blame but to seek some sort of healing for the victims. I would like to be assured that this is not another weapon to humble and demonize ‘ the people of pride and Industry’

  4. Bernard Codrington. Avatar
    Bernard Codrington.

    Motives are very important. We need constantly to ask ” Why am I doing this?” Is this activity going to achieve a worthwhile outcome? Is the outcome fair to other members of the Society? If the answers are” no’ or’ do not know’ ,do not publish.

  5. chad99999 Avatar
    chad99999

    Apparently, there are a lot of Barbadians who believe that the state has an obligation to protect women and girls.Note that men and boys are not mentioned.
    The consequences of this line of thinking are entirely predictable. The legal system progressively gives preferential treatment to the interests of females in a wide set of circumstances, and the result is a society like Canada, where there are two classes of citizenship: first class (for females) and second class (for males).
    In the recent assault and abuse trial of Jian Ghomeshi in Toronto, the media and the law enforcement community conferred a complete set of privileges and protections on three malicious women who sought to put Ghomeshi in jail, apparently because he had dumped them. Their transparent lies on the witness stand were not pretty to watch.
    Like the backward British colony it is, Barbados is following in the footsteps of Canada. Too bad.

  6. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ Chad
    A wise old man told Bushie many many years ago, that he had concluded that all women have the same motives in life…..

    Some take all your cash up front…
    …the others wait and take everything you have.

  7. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    We are talking about women and children being violently abused, by criminals…the Bushman and Chad are talking about losing all their earthly possessions when they allow their little heads to rule their big heads…lol

  8. de Ingrunt Word Avatar
    de Ingrunt Word

    @Bernard Codrington. February 20, at 10:08 AM…I am intrigued by your perspective that
    “Domestic violence seems to be getting more public reportage”. I look at these increased public reports as more or less a function of the electronic frontier before which we stand. If we are honest we can validate that we always knew that Frank used to beat his wife or that Phil would share some lashes. We saw the marks on Cybil’s face or hands and were very aware of how many times Joan was out from work.

    We just knew within the small circles whether in village or office or whatever and we moved on.

    Today that stuff is all over social media. Either the abused are brave enough to talk about it and can get solid support via that network or others are broadcasting these instances and more people hear/see it.

    The point is that this should have little to do with ‘the impact people from over and away”.

    Bajans need to take an account of our violent wayward fellow citizens who take out their frustrations or violent tendencies on their partners. How is this “a changing Barbadian culture”?

    When were we ever ‘acculturated’ to accept physical violence from a spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend? You need to educate me as to when that was an integrated part of our culture and how it is only NOW that de culture changing to prevent that!

    Violence is violence. Wrong is wrong. And will forever be so.

    If I present myself as a leading figure in Barbados’ cultural renaissance and I am an author and public figure surely if my adult child steps across the line of propriety I will also become a focal point because of my status. I either embrace it and try to be a part of the solution or I adopt the hands-off stance Rudder Sr adopted. But I certainly can’t expect to enjoy the publicity during good times and turn away from it sheepishly during bad times.

    It doesn’t work that way!

  9. Sunshine Sunny Shine Avatar
    Sunshine Sunny Shine

    You cannot change 300 + years of accustom with just mere words. You need to show why it must change, how it will change and what are the effects of that change. Barbados has many domestic home situations that are broken beyond repair. Too many impoverish villages that are creating cesspools of violence and criminal intent. Focus on bringing the island’s domestic violence issues to nothing will be a challenged. However, with the right impetus and generating more action from discussion, it certainly can be brought right down to nothing.

  10. David Avatar
    David

    There is a popular saying that it takes a village to raise a child. There is the less oft saying, it takes a village to abuse one.

  11. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @Focus Barbados”During the entire 3 years of abuse.”

    I was struck by this phrase 3 years of abuse. Listen ladies. Never wait for the second set of violence. If you accept bad behaviour you will ALWAYS, ALWAYS get more of the same.

    Relationships are only good while there is respect, and while there is no violence.

    If the “victim” was unwilling to leave the relationship, how and why did she expect the father to fix the relationship.

  12. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    I was threatened with violence once in my life. I told the offender in a cool voice. “If you dare to touch me you will not live to see the sun rise.”

    The response “you mean that don’t you?

    My response “Yes”

    That ended the matter, because I would have committed murder that night.

  13. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    Once we are adults we can no longer expect others to defend us. We must be prepared to defend ourselves.

    And if someone uses violence against us it is our RESPONSIBILITY to use any means necessary to prevent it happening again.

    Countries have nuclear weapons don’t they?

    Popes, priests and pastors bless the boys as they go to war don’t they?

    Why are we so afraid to use violence in self defence?

  14. Anne Avatar
    Anne

    The abuse that we are seeing today will continue to get worse because women are unwilling to stand firm. Many women today are labouring under the mistaken notion that they MUST have a man in order to exist. Physical abuse is no different from mental abuse. I was never abused physically by my husband, but the mental abuse was so severe that had I not known God I would be in the mad house today.

    An elderly lady told me once. NEVER MARRY OR GET INVOLVED WITH A MAN YOU ARE AFRAID OF. Too many women are afraid of their man. They have seen signs that the man could be a potential abuser, but still want to remain with him. Remaining in an abusive relationship is to my mind a toxic relationship. I know that many women will say this is easier said than done. Women cannot wait until the State begins to do something for them. The problem is theirs and they must be willing to do what is necessary to rid this country of this evil that has been eating at our vitals as a nation. It is sad that we as a nation will be celebrating 50 years of independence and this issue of Violence Against Women (VAW) is still lingering. No woman should have to remain in a relationship where she is fearful. When children are involved it makes the situation worse.

    Women must be willing to stand alone if needs be. Having a man must not be seen as a priority IF the relationship is one where you as the women is nothing more than a second class citizen or a slave. Fear is what drives most women to remain in such situations.

    As for the State, our judicial system seems not to be too interested. Many have said that the RBPF does not take this seriously. Despite the evils we may heap upon the USA one of the good things that can be said for that nation is that the law enforcement community has a zero tolerance for this kind of behaviour.

    Women must be willing to do what must be done and the State must do their part in prosecuting these criminals because this is what they are.

  15. David Avatar
    David

    This expose is troubling. People like Boo Rudder are leaders (elders) in our society. We look forward to a rebuttal/response..

  16. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ Anne
    Physical abuse is no different from mental abuse.
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Which is exactly why many of these cases are not as ‘cut and dry’ as it may seem at first glance. A woman who don’t get her own way in a relationship and who quietly uses mental abuse can cry foul when the man (many of whom instinctively respond with physical tactics because of their nature) …and everyone outside only sees the response…

    When women respond with physical violence or threats (as Simple did), or men respond with mental tactics as some can, then we all think that everything is well.

    In fact, the conflict between men and women comes because we do not understand the DESIGNED relationship that is intended. Women and men mostly strive for ‘equality’ and respect … which translates into each selfishly seeking to get as much of what THEY want out of the relationship as is possible.

    By design, BOTH men and women are incomplete, unfulfilled, different beings, with the potential to collectively become a single COMPLETE, FULFILLED whole unit. This is not achieved by selfish fights, by effeminate men, by women seeking to be like men, or by equality. ONLY by each one lovingly playing THEIR role in the relationship. These need not be EQUAL roles, or even major roles for either man or woman, but the roles are ALWAYS driven by an unselfish love and interest in the needs of the OTHER partner.
    In such a relationship the only possible ‘fight’ could be one to fill the needs of the partner…..

  17. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    What exactly would you expect Boo to do David? Cut the boy’s ass? Give the girl money?
    move in with them and become the referee? Take the girl’s side?

    What is it that she wants? ….someone to insist that the boy allows her to have her own way?

    Has she ever heard about moving on….?
    …and if she has, and chooses to do it in such a manner who exactly does she imagine will risk a relationship with her in future….?

    Boo deserves 100% for minding his own damn business….

  18. David Avatar
    David

    Bush Tea this is what makes domestic abuse issues so difficult to manage sometimes. Agree with you there is the preponderance of focus on the final act and the lead in is forgotten/ignored in the lead in read verbal abuse. There is a role for MESA, Gender Affairs department and men advocates to ensure the conversations balances.

  19. David Avatar
    David

    Bush Tea, he should do what the patriarch of any family does, maintain/counsel the family unit.

  20. ac Avatar
    ac

    the story is compelling and makes for interesting reading but does not answer the question as to why remained in such an abusive relationship

  21. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ David
    If you know Boo Rudder ..you would know that he has too much sense to get involved in such complex relationship matters ESPECIALLY with family members…
    Perhaps he should refer them to an independent Counselor

  22. David Avatar
    David

    @Bush Tea

    That is better than ushering them down to Waterford.

  23. ac Avatar
    ac

    Bush TEA to a “T” have always suspect you to endorse violence at any level towards the female
    Your asinine language and poor excuses as to condone the fathers non -involvement which depicts callousness serves only to heap more abuse on the victim
    You are one disgusting two footed mule with no sense of feeling towards victims of domestic abuse
    Guh long do only a fake a.ss negro masquerading as an intelligent human being can be so callous as to inflict more pain and suffering to a persons whose only way of expression is through social media when those whom she sought solace in time of need turn their backs

  24. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ David
    …you see what Bushie mean now…?
    You could be vex with someone who bus some lashes in AC’s ass every couple days?

    …as man!! 🙂

  25. David Avatar
    David

    @Bush Tea

    Be the Elder on the blog and turn the other cheek, ac knows not what you do or what your station is in Barbados, see the comment is such a context.

  26. ac Avatar
    ac

    @David

    Chuckle. Bush shite words says a lot about him. Typical hypocrite but this I know that through his words on issues of discipline or domestic confortations which demonstrates violence he has not waivered his support

  27. David Avatar
    David

    Just like we can extrapolate from your comments and determine your are a DLP yardfowl you mean?

  28. ac Avatar
    ac

    Speckled fowl are you an advocate of domestic violence then why are you trying to defend Bush Tea nonsense that should answer your above comment

  29. chad99999 Avatar
    chad99999

    Note how women unapologetically give themselves latitude to commit unlimited violence (“murder”) against any man who “touches them”, but men are condemned for “violence at any level against a woman”. As usual, we are all equal but women are more equal than men. I advise men to openly declare the use of unlimited violence against any woman who “touches them”. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. We cannot have two sets of rights and privileges, defined by gender, in a democracy that pretends we are all equal under the law.

  30. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    Chad….you are part of the problem, violence against women and children will not stop simply because you continue to advocate for more violence, men who violently brutalizing women and children hass been cultural for centuries, generation after generation, it’s been marinated into the social fabric , not many females are cultured to recognize the signs, they were socialized to accept violence and brutality against themselves and their children.

    If that cycle can be broken through education, both parties would understand the significance and urgency now required to meet each other half way, there is not enough control over emotions or education to make any positive change….a major part of the problem.

    Boo Rudder is old school, seeing violence during his growing up and accepting it as the norm because older, ignorant men continue to pass on their vast ignorance of how they handle domestic issues……ignorance is the blight to be fought..

  31. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    Should read:

    men who violently brutalize women and children have been cultured to do so for centuries

  32. de Ingrunt Word Avatar
    de Ingrunt Word

    @David at 8:51…you give BushTea props by saying “[they] know not what you do or what your station is in Barbados”. But Bushie’s own remarks are the source of the concern.

    What he wrote at 8:23 AM was profound. I read it and was waiting for the acerbic misogynist punch line…there was none

    But how does the elder Bushie advise so sagely and supremely there and in his next breath say with equal conviction that Boo Rudder Sn is 100% correct in staying out of the fray with his son.

    I started with your props so your balanced critic of Bushie rounds it out. You rightly said: “Bush Tea, he should do what the patriarch of any family does, maintain/counsel the family unit.”

    I am amazed that either BushTea places friendship above equanimity and in his wisdom was unable to grasp that basic truth or is so misogynist that commonsense flew away.

    Or maybe this is just the Bushman’s public persona for this avatar…raw doses of his bitter bush tea…just mekking sport basically.

    BTW @Bushie when you present yourself as a public person and leader like Boo has effectively all these years then you have to be prepared to LEAD whenever the situation demands it of you.

    Of course all disputes are complex and the real truth is always hidden BUT physical violence is a CRIME.

    As much as you can advise the lady to leave the relationship how can you NOT advise any man or woman to step off before their anger carries them to that place of violence?

    David values you as an learned elder and surely deservedly so…your comments on this matter are profound and also profoundly disappointing.

  33. ac Avatar
    ac

    why should any one be caught off guard by the Bush Tea arrogance he was one of the few notables and i say few only applied to himself who agree with the mother who beat her child with a 2×4
    Bush shite has never hid his tolerance for the type of aggravated disciplinary actions that reigned fear and horror on women and children

  34. David Avatar
    David

    @Dee Word

    BU does what he does better that anyone on the blog and we thank him for it.

  35. de Ingrunt Word Avatar
    de Ingrunt Word

    @chad99999 at 10:09 AM you really need to tell this blog family which woman took you to the mental and physical ‘cleaners’ and did this number on your commonsense.

    There is absolutely no balance to your awesomely off-kilter remarks.

    Do more women kill men than men kill women? Do more women beat men (criminally and otherwise) than vice-versa?

    How are the figures in the last five years, ten years or the last 25 years ?.

    Your rhetoric seems to highlight what may be prevalent in recent years where the extensive social media and general reporting has emboldened more women to be 1) more aggressive towards their men and 2) there is more publicity of males being beaten by their women. A public awareness certainly not desired by the man.

    However that cannot take away from the acts of violence by men against women over the many years…even as it does not justify women using their sexuality as a tool to confuse many a ‘small-head’ and thus our big-heads too on us males.

    As the profound BushTea said there needs to be a complete balance towards the interest of both partners. Not who is beating whom or advocating to men to counteract with more violence.

    I hope you soothe that pain before you poison the mind of some unsuspecting male-child.

  36. David Avatar
    David

    It looks like chad9999 experienced a bad divorce?

  37. Well Well & Consequences Avatar
    Well Well & Consequences

    Not only a bad divorce, but Chad also has Mommy issues, in provoking him last week the issues became very apparent, but BU cannot help him, however, a good therapist might.

    The below article outlines why Barbados is about to fall into tha abyss….very, very sad

    In advocating for reparations, Beckles, et al should be pushing for mass counselling sessions paid for by the colonial countries to undo this vicious damage that continues to be perpetrated on the island’s citizens, because of the colonial countries….the British socialization of Barbados, continues to wreak havoc on the minds of the people.

    Influenced by the Bajan straitjacket
    Added by Barbados Today on February 19, 2016.
    Saved under Column
    EVERSLEY FilesBarbados is an inherently conservative society. So conservative, to the point that the environment for personal development can be stifling sometimes, especially for persons whose thinking happens to be outside the box. Hence, the reason why some of our sharpest brains choose to go and remain abroad.

    In Barbados, there’s a resistance to exploring new ideas that challenge traditional boundaries, to embracing change that offers the possibility of bringing overall improvement to the society, and to seeing issues from other than the mainstream perspective.

    Generally speaking, the average Barbadian is unconscious of this reality, especially if he or she happens to have spent their entire life here. It often requires the liberating experience of living abroad, thus becoming detached from day-to-day Barbadian society, in order to see the situation for what it is.

    Barbadians have been conditioned from birth, through a form of socialization grounded in our British colonial past, to place limits on ourselves and to accept being conservative as
    a defining Barbadian characteristic which others recognize.

    Our socialization, which begins during the formative years when a person is easily most impressionable, places everyone into a ready-made mental straitjacket that shapes our thinking, behaviour, outlook and general attitude towards life.

    The process involves instilling fear during childhood, demanding obedience without answering searching questions, sometimes enforcing harshly the rules in cases of perceived waywardness, and quoting liberally from The Bible to justify and give legitimacy to the approach.

    Effected primarily through the family, the education system and our practice of religion, our socialization ensures that the average person learns from early to take his or her place –– which also explains the inherently passive nature of Barbadians.

    We are hesitant to stand up publicly for what is right, even though our own interests may be at stake. We have been conditioned to grin and bear it, and play it safe, because we understand at a subconscious level that compliance determines whether society will consider us a good boy or girl.

    The influence of the Bajan straitjacket was seen in the harsh criticism and condemnation, by some Barbadians, of the student and mother at the centre of the recent Springer Memorial School issue. What mattered to the critics was obedience. The rights of the child in particular did not matter.

    Compared with our Caribbean neighbours who have had the same colonial experience, the British did a more thorough job in moulding us, in many ways, in their image. Which explains, for example, the pride we have traditionally taken in Barbados being described as “Little England”.

    During the colonial period, it gave us a sense of importance and told us at a psychological level that we were special and different, especially in relation to our neighbours. The effects, which linger despite Independence, have influenced our relationship with our neighbours and how they see us.

    From the colonial period, education has served as a primary tool of socialization. We became “Little England” as a result of being taught the British way. Whereas illiteracy was a problem in some neighbouring islands, it never really was in Barbados. We boasted a remarkable 99 per cent literacy rate.

    While the straitjacket has been beneficial in the sense of ensuring social stability which supported our remarkable development, it has had obvious drawbacks. One relates to the relevance of our model of education, considering that education is supposed to liberate the mind. Many Barbadians pass through the system without developing an ability to think critically.

    From primary school, even up to Cave Hill, from what I am told, we are essentially spoon-fed and are then expected to regurgitate whatever we are taught in the classroom, or read in a textbook, on an exam paper to pass. If your ideas do not reflect what you were spoon-fed, you simply may not make it.

    I will share the story of a Barbadian who went to a foreign university and initially used this same approach. He was given a term paper assignment and was shocked, on its return, to find that even though the professor had said it was well written, all he could muster was a Grade C.

    Naturally concerned, he went to see the professor. He wanted to know why he did not get at least a B+ or, better yet, an A-, as would have most likely happened in Barbados, seeing that the professor had remarked that the paper was “well written”.

    “Yes, it was well written,” the professor explained, “but all you have done basically was to show me how well you have read the literature. I was looking for more, especially evidence that the readings had triggered you to think critically about the problem. If you had demonstrated such, and all the points were logically argued, you could have got an A.”

    This weakness of our education system is impeding Barbados’ development potential. New ideas, the product of being able to think outside the box, lead to the development of innovative products and services which excite the global market, creating strong demand and building economic success.

    We are talking a lot about entrepreneurship as the centerpiece for revitalizing our economy. But even here the limiting effect of the straitjacket is evident. Our concept of entrepreneurship is someone baking and selling sweet bread, opening a barber shop, or a store and selling imported items.

    Such business activities, though important in providing an income for the owner and maybe one or two employees, cannot take Barbados to the next level. Export-oriented entrepreneurship is what matters. What is preventing us from striving to produce another Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg, for example? We are thinking small instead of thinking big.

    I refuse to believe or accept that extraordinary talent resides only in developed countries. We were born with the same basic ability. The problem with us, however, is that whereas the straitjacket limits us, developed countries provide the enabling environment for people like Bill Gates to emerge.

    There is hope for change, however, through our young people. Globalization, which is exposing them to new concepts and ideas, is breaking the stranglehold of the straitjacket. As a result, our young people are seeing the world in a fundamentally different way from most adults who have not grasped the extent of the revolution in thinking which has taken place. They grew up in a different world which is almost gone. Instead of criticizing our young people, as happens so often, adults need to come to terms with the fact that the world has changed fundamentally in the last 25 years and, as much as they may protest, the change is irreversible. A better option is to support our young people and encourage them to positively apply their energy and ideas for the betterment of society.

    The conservative Barbadian side is naturally resistant to change. But change, more so than at any other time in world history, is very much a part of everyday life today. The hard choice which we face as a society is whether we will continue to resist or adapt. Pursuing the first option, which is our traditional inclination, will be to our eventual detriment.

    Freeing ourselves from the mental shackles of the straitjacket is indispensable if we, as a people, are to come up with a new, exciting and realistic vision for Barbados which is informed by and is relevant to the reality of the 21st century.

  38. Sargeant Avatar
    Sargeant

    @David
    It looks like chad9999 experienced a bad divorce?
    ++++++++++
    Or he got “horned” by a woman.

    BTW I think Bush Tea’s alter ego is the President of that mens rights group (can’t remember his name) that they have in Barbados, as memory serves he is a retired civil servant

  39. David Avatar
    David

    @Sargeant

    You mean Ralph Boyce?

  40. de Ingrunt Word Avatar
    de Ingrunt Word

    Yes David. As a lad the worst ting was when peeps knew a fella get a serious horn. Dat was a problem that many boys/men did not handle very well. The reactions ran the gamut of course. A smile and a good riddance up to mindless violence.

    When we get older a serious horn can become a ‘bad divorce’ and although we still have the ‘good riddance’ at the benign end and violence at the worst end, the in-betweens are so much more complex and painful.

    There are 6 billion+ people on this damn place called earth take out all those Chinese and Indians who far away or all those folks not interested in interracial romance and that still leaves a bariffle of possible new candidates after a ‘serious horn’.

    And if marriage is too painful thereafter then there are any number of ‘geisha’ paradises that abound for consideration of use.

    You could be very right re Chad9999 or he just enjoys wild rhetoric against women.

  41. Bush Tea Avatar
    Bush Tea

    @ David 11.15 A.M.
    …or perhaps Chad is able to see above the brassbowlery…

    @ Dee Ingrunt Word
    Life is complex, …and it is naive to think that most people could grasp the intricacies if it.
    It is therefore not surprising that you misunderstand the bushman … most do.

    There is THE way that was designed by the great CREATOR…..a way that is logical, sensible and practical, ….and then there are the ways of this world….

    Bushie understands them both…..thanks to an undeserved, unearned and unexplainable blessing that has been bestowed by BBE….
    It is not difficult therefore to explain (at 8:23 AM) what the designed INTENT is, how it is intended to work, and what the results would be…..
    But then…
    …nor is it difficult to discuss the REALITY of the contorted, destructive WAYS of our present society – even though these are often diametrically opposed to the designed ways…

    If this is too complex for you – then feel free to join with AC and cuss Bushie… (whatever THAT may achieve…) considering that the Bushman already has all wunna dream about in this messed up world …as well as a mansion reserved in the REAL world – with a complete set of four-stroke whackers awaiting ….

    If you have intelligent questions, feel free to ask, but you should be intelligent enough to recognise the folly of trying to explain Gauss-Seidel type solutions to 11-plus students….

  42. ac Avatar
    ac

    Can/t belive that anyone would set aside a special place of privilege for an individual who have witnessed domestic violence to do nothing

  43. Sargeant Avatar
    Sargeant

    @DIW
    And if marriage is too painful thereafter then there are any number of ‘geisha’ paradises that abound for consideration of use
    ++++++++++
    Yeah we know and “more fish in the sea” yada yada yada but human emotion is a complex thing and no one has been able to measure it or figure it out ah mean Solomon had all those wives and his pick of the crop but when he saw Bathsheba taking a bath all that wisdom was for naught and looka here yuh see what Delilah did to Goliath which in turn made David’s father famous?

    These interactions between male and female is much more complex than those encounters that one can have in those “geisha paradises.”

  44. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @Bush Tea February 20, 2016 at 12:14 PM “Some take all your cash up front…
    …the others wait and take everything you have.

    Correct.

    Since women outlive men, and since the men can’t take it with them, the men may as well “hands-up” up front, ’cause when u ded’ they will get it anyhow. If you hand it over while you are alive, maybe just maybe you will get better treatment.

  45. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @Bush Tea February 21, 2016 at 8:23 AM “When women respond with physical violence or threats (as Simple did).

    It wasn’t a threat.

    It was a statement of what will in FACT happen if anybody uses violence against me.

    I never become hot headed.

    I have in fact been told (not by a man) that “you are the coldest person i have ever met.”

    I take that as a compliment.

  46. Vincent Haynes Avatar
    Vincent Haynes

    Bush Tea February 21, 2016 at 11:40 AM #

    @ Dee Ingrunt Word
    Life is complex, …and it is naive to think that most people could grasp the intricacies……

    Skippah why yuh dus always mek uh stick tuh cut yuh uwn backside?

    If only you had left the statement at that point you would have made a little bit of sense,although what would have made real sense is that….no one knows the intracacies of the world….

    All you have done now is projected yourself as a snake oil sales man…..tsk,tsk

  47. Hants Avatar
    Hants

    Boo Rudder’s ADULT son was in a relationship with a woman.

    How do we know what Boo said to his son ?

    The Boo Rudder I used to know would NOT condone violence against women.

    Sons do not always take advice from their father.

  48. Simple Simon Avatar
    Simple Simon

    @Bush Tea February 21, 2016 at 8:30 AM “What exactly would you expect Boo to do David? Cut the boy’s ass? Give the girl money? move in with them and become the referee? Take the girl’s side?”

    Actually Bushie. There is another option. A male cousin of was married to foreigner woman, and he used to beat her…badly…badly (his grandfather was a woman beater, his father before he found Jesus was a woman beater) his parents intervened and bought the young wife a ticket back home and asked her not to return to their son nor to Barbados because if she did their son would most likely kill her. She obeyed his parents.

    Sadly some relationships cannot be salvaged.

    Sadly some marriages cannot be salvaged.

    Sometimes the only solution is to leave, and to cut all ties with the beater AND with his family AND his country.

  49. David Avatar
    David

    @Simple Simon

    You always have a story.

  50. David Avatar
    David

    Four more Grantley Adams students missing

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