A Mother’s Role, Priceless!

There is the saying teach a man and you teach an individual, teach a women and you teach a generation. Whether religious minded, atheist or agnostic there is the appreciation by most men that a woman as the procreator and nurturer among us, she must be treasured and honoured.

Although it is redundant to state that a mother’s role cannot be replaced in the upbringing of a family, it bears stating anyway; her role is priceless. In today’s world of equal rights where women now compete with men for all jobs, BU believes a woman’s role within the household is being undermined.

We live in a world which is consumed by materialism and greed to the extent intelligent humans have willingly relinquished or sabotaged the role of parenting. If we judge from how animals behave in the wild, the female is always the one to exhibit those nurturing qualities required to achieve the best development in the offspring. She is always the one who seems more protective of her young often times necessitated by the absence of the male who was out performing in the hunter role. The same we believe is true for Homo sapiens.

Given the important role of a woman to building a family it seems a no brainer to BU that many societal problems being experienced are linked to the changing role of a woman in a modern society. How can a woman go to work all day, pickup the children from daycare in the evening with the cycle starting the next day without compromising her ability to impart the best care to her offspring? What time does she have to perform the nurturing role only a mother can give? In the ‘olden’ days the village (extended family) would assist in raising the child, an aunt, grandmother or someone who was closed to the family when the mother had to go to work. Now the nuclear family has come into vogue and its attendant short comings.

Call BU old fashion but many woman based on observation appear to be putting careers and other matters above family matters. Such is the way of the world we live in and we will pay the price for such parental delinquency.

On behalf of the BU household we wish richest blessings to all mothers on this day.

74 thoughts on “A Mother’s Role, Priceless!


  1. Misfor the million things she gave me!
    O means only she is growing old
    T is for the way she has trusted me
    H is for her heart of purest gold
    E is for her eyes like starlight shining
    R means right and Right she always be
    Put them all together they spell MOTHER
    A word that means the world to me!


  2. I wish **ALL MOTHERS A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY**; We as men **HAVE** to give our women the **RESPECT** that due to them for doing the best that they can to keep a roof over the head of our children, and food on the table; We as men need to step up and do a little more like we did in what you would call the olden days; Parents and children are more distant now than ever before; QUALITY TIME is no longer the norm; Children now are too occupied with modern day gadgetry, and becoming grown at an early age; Yes David I do agree with you that back in the olden days children were raised by the who neighborhood. But people were trusted back then more than they are now also; Women claimed INDEPENDENCE to offset waiting on some men that didn’t do what they were suppose to do for their family; Now it has became a way of life so that they would have to put up with things that some men chose to do; All I will continue to say is **RESPECT AND LOVE ALL WOMEN AS YOU DID YOUR OWN MOTHER;**


  3. @Charles

    BU believes it is critical for us to find a way for our women to spend more time in the home with the children. Lifestyle exigency seem to take women as a norm out of the home and the role of homemaker even instances where the woman is not required to work for money is given a pass.


  4. A Happy Mother’s Day to those many mothers, who made great sacrifices for their children, and were later rewarded with kindness and love.

    It also goes to the others, who with the same effort were not so rewarded…..you also did your best.

    A very special Mother’s Day and mention, to JC and Bonny Peppa who have stated “here” they are mothers.


  5. Whilst I hear you BU, as a woman and a mother…there is no reason for a mother not to have a career and still be able to address the bringing-up of her children in the right way helping them to become outstanding members of the society. I did as a single parent most of the time. Men in the past also did not always come up to the plate, and the woman’s role in the household even if they did and she was working, was still that mother had to do all the household/children chores even after a hard day’s work for, men were exhausted after their 8-4. A woman’s job at home was also not considered a job, it was considered what women do. So most of them put in almost 16 hours as compared to the 8 or 9 of the men. But as I mentioned, we managed and many still do.

    However, today we have mothers at 13 years old…we have mothers of mothers that are barely in their twenties. Many mothers and grandmothers today are children themselves. Family planning seems to be failing in today’s Bajan world, the message is just not getting across that to be a baby mother, you should first be a woman, ready to take on the responsibilities that do not mean dressing up babies and little ones in pretty pretty clothes with baubles in their hair until suddenly they are just let loose on to the society with no values – and this goes for all sectors of the society, whether with money in the bank or without.

    Then, of course, we have the technological age where in order to keep children quiet so mother can get on with whatever she is doing, children are given a monster load of ‘toys’ such as play stations, cell phones, iphones, ipods etc etc. – they spend their time clicking buttons instead of using fingers in the house to help mother…in the kitchen or wherever is necessary – chores used to be part of life of the whole family. There is a breakdown in the nuclear family no doubt about that…and until we can make the North American way of life a little harder to achieve (the purchase mania of anything that is ‘new’ and ‘a must have’), until we can bring children back into the homes for breakfast, lunch and dinner (or at least breakfast and dinner) where the family sits and actually talks to each other, until we are able to instill the necessity of understanding that children are not toys themselves…and need discipline and guidance, until the school and home system embraces some of the old, we shall continue to lose our youth…! There was a time when it took a village to bring up a child (still practiced in many islands) meaning the slightest bad behaviour would be dealt with by aunties/uncles/friends….today when a village tries to bring up a child, mothers/fathers retaliate with venom…the do-not-interfere-with-my-child syndrome.

    Much to be rectified of what we as a society have allowed to happen. We still have some time but it has to be now or we will be lost. However…can I please end by saying that to all those mothers out there who truly understand what it is to be a mother/friend/confidant/provider in every sense of the word…do have a wonderful Mother’s Day and to those who may not fully understand the role, bring your children in to you, even if it is just for this one day, feel the joy, break bread together, talk and laugh – you may find you like the feeling so much, you might want to do it again. Baby steps can put us all back into the right direction. This is not about how much money we have, this is about love! Bless.


  6. Happy Mother’s day to all the mothers on BU!

    Today we celebrate Mother’s day. To my Mom I thank you for your gifts you have given me, the love for plants and gardens, the love of nurturing, the love of cooking (for company only these days), the love of people, the love of a good joke, the love of spirited conversation and the love for life (joi de vivre). Yes there were tumultuous years where we hardly spoke to each other and luckily we have reconnected and are able to enjoy each others company. The more we grow the more we realize how very much alike we are. We are at our happiest when amongst trees and plants. To this day a new plant or flower will still excite us.

    Mothering is a lot like gardening, it makes us proud of the results after putting in all that hardwork.

    Mothering is no easy task and anyone who says differently haven’t got a family or is just backward thinking. For the working mom it is even made more difficult with the demands of home and work. Not many mothers are fortunate to be stay at home moms. Many households are headed by single moms and have still been able to produce great men and women.

    Mothers are the first teachers of our children. Instill good values and they will last a lifetime. I know because my daughter is a shining example of those values my mother taught me.


  7. I used to love PTA meetings and such… all those mothers turning up with push up bra’s and short hipster pants, man kept the heart in clickin’! Oh yea, oh yea and the jumping to voluntarily volunteer for the trips to the polyclinic’s “paternal” ward with the brats … Oh dear oh dear, all those breasssts popping out of blouses, all those breassts… never quite understood why women in normal situations would be very conscious about showing a breast in public, but when there is a baby around .. dog bite mah


  8. Happy mothers day to all the BU mothers.
    Also to those aunts and god mothers who have “mothered” children in Barbados.


  9. BAFBFP | May 8, 2011 at 8:38 AM |

    It is too early for alcohol so lay off the bottle! BTW were you hatched? lOLLL


  10. @BU,as a mother I am the sole breadwinner, and now a single mother. I was always the sole breadwinner, housekeeper, caretaker of my son. But to say that we as mothers ‘will pay the price for parental delinquency’ for putting our careers first??? YOU WANNA SEE PARENTAL DELINQUENCY–it certainly isn’t the mothers!!!Everytime you turn around in this country you trip over a ‘father’ that don’t want to work, sacrifice, control detrimental habits, contribute to the family, lift a finger. So please, don’t include ME in your WE. My career puts a roof over our heads,sends my child to school, food on the table and a car (with 4 wheels that works) in the driveway. A few dollars here and there from a ‘father’ that’s living large, dressin nice, but with no time for his son…now that is a detriment to society.


  11. And a happy mothers day to Islandgirl, ac, Bonny, Hopi, Pat, Rosemary, Jay, Rose Art, smooth chocolate, Tina Roach, Rambling Rose, wilma, Fran, Nia, Bajan_Sun_Goddess, Shanique Myrie, Random Thoughts (LOL), Ian Bourne (many months pregnant), and all the rest


  12. @Rosemary & Homegrown

    Try to see BU’s position from the societal position. Of course we have mothers doing a great job and that is the point. In a nutshell it does not matter if the fathers are present, a mother’s nurturing is a diminishing occurrence today, and we are paying the price.

    Enjoying the tributes so far!


  13. Happy mother’s day to Homegrown.

    Your son is fortunate to have at least one good responsible parent.


  14. Happy mothers’ day to the Bu family.

    Enjoy the day with famliy and friends and dont forget to keep those mothers who are struggling to make ends meet in your thought.

    Bye


  15. David wrote,”a mother’s nurturing is a diminishing occurrence today”

    In a capitalist system where “progress” is measured by acquisition of assets and consumer driven consumption, women are forced to work just to sustain life.

    They can’t do like brownskin girl an stay home an mine baby.


  16. @Homegrown…I am with you totally on that one. @BU I do believe that you should have still used slightly different words…although as I did say, I see your point to an extent…however you did generalize on women being the problem kind of?…and why is it that men cannot nurture again? Or take responsibility for what is going on in this society with the youth? Hmmm…men and women really do think totally differently, don’t they? 🙂 @BAFBFP – your tribute to mothers had me giggling (sorry Ian but he said it, I did not! I still love ya..I can think of a good few men in the same position as you, so Ian keep calm and have faith, one day it will be born (pun intended) and nobody will be able to point fingers at ya. Promise.) 🙂 🙂


  17. To all those mothers who have to tow both end of the lines being homemakers and working mothers. “Have a Blessed and Peaceful Mothers Day!

    @ BAF
    Thanks for your sentiments. You still put a smile on my face


  18. @ David
    I hate to entre the Zone where you are putting the balme on mothers for the lack of nurturing for the children . this blame must be put at the feet of those who choose to abandon the chilren leaving the sole respnsibilty to the mother who is struggling to balance both ends in being a provider and a “full time mother” a feat which can only be accomplished when both parties are present in the home. Therefore I say “Kudos” to those mothers who singlehandely finds themselves in a diffuclt positiontrying to balance both acts at the same time


  19. “In a nutshell it does not matter if the fathers are present, a mother’s nurturing is a diminishing occurrence today, and we are paying the price.”

    David when men impregnate thirteen year old girls and there are no consequences what do you expect? It is always the woman who has to carry the burden whether she is capable or not. Because someone gives birth it does not mean that they can nurture. I agree that the extended family were there to fill the void and many delinquent mothers were saved. Today as Rosemary stated “we have mothers of mothers that are barely in their twenties. Many mothers and grandmothers today are children themselves.” Sadly it is no longer there. Many women are pressured by society that they are not women until they give birth. The church is another culprit welcoming young unmarried women with children with open arms. There should be stronger social services with parental classes for those who need help, and must be mandatory for those who have been delinquent. But when we see our leaders having children with several women, committing adultery with young women what do you expect?


  20. @ac

    It is a point women get defensive on but it is actually a compliment being paid to the priceless role of a mother. Even in cases of two parent family the nurturing role of the mother is the x factor.


  21. @islandgal

    You have correctly fingered the issue which a today’s ‘extendedless family’ society confronts. What will fill the ‘village’ role?


  22. @David..you say….”It is a point women get defensive on but it is actually a compliment being paid to the priceless role of a mother. Even in cases of two parent family the nurturing role of the mother is the x factor.”

    This becomes a little clearer in what you meant….and I certainly will take the compliment with humility and grace…but I still ask the question why is the nurturing role of the mother the x factor? Why can it not be the xfactor for men…why is not instilled in men? If a mother dies at birth, and the father has no mother/sisters/lady friends…he will be thrown into a position of nurturing…I have seen many American/European men ‘nurturing’ (at least in the movies – not really true, actually have men friends who are amazing nurturers) – have not had the opportunity of seeing what happens in Asia or Africa or other islands…but in Barbados, and frankly many Caribbean islands (if not all), a large percentage of men in all stations of life, seem to have a problem realizing that they too have the two ‘ilities’ – ability and responsibility to nurture. Why is this? So perhaps we need to look more at the men and why? And even if mothers over-nurture boys and men in terms of spoilage really, not nurturing…surely the brain at some point should be able to sink in and realize that they too must be part of this nurturing in order to make the balance. And please if one person feels the need to bring up slavery, please do not bother…because this does not cut with me any more…it is simply an excuse that everyone seems to love using these days. So would like to hear why is the woman the x factor, and not the men also the x factor or even the x factor alone??


  23. @ David.
    Bearing in mind the family was designed to have two parents with the role being that of the woman to be nuturer and the man being provider. However because of the absent of the male woman role has drastically changed to where she has become the gate keeper and keeper of the gate. The X factor which she had total control of has been eroded only because of mitigating factors which forced her to have to leave the home in an effort to provide for her children. These women should be commended for having to do double duty when all else had failed in doing their part and not be burden with guilt for failing to do the everthing. Being defensive am not . Being real I am


  24. @Rosemary

    Aaaaah the 64k question.

    Do not know the answer.

    To take a stab at it, could it how girls and boys are being socialized? Perhaps some innate wiring of Homo sapiens along the gender line?


  25. GOOD MORNIN TO ALL A WUNNA-ALL MUDDAS

    HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to alll the mothers and also the fathers who play the part of mother. Keep up the tireless, unending role.

    BAF
    dis granny still wearin de ‘push-ups’ n de hipstas too. tek dah, ya vagabon. muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    Yardbroom
    You make me feel brand-new.
    So swoiteeeeeeeeeeee.


  26. I’m going to enjoy mother’s day the same way that I enjoy being a mother everyday…all of the mother’s that I know that are doing their best on their own have the same attitude, teach their children right from wrong,teach them to love all of gods creatures, teach them to save money ;), teach them that no means no, teach them to work hard and to respect others.

    My son’s father (more than) once told me that I could waste my time (not his) doing all of these things and the boy could still grow up to be axe-murderer…that just goes to show you that some men have little or no respect for women.


  27. Quoting David “In the ‘olden’ days the village (extended family) would assist in raising the child, an aunt, grandmother or someone who was closed to the family when the mother had to go to work. ”

    Dear David:

    I believe that this is largely a myth. I am an ordinary rural working class Barbadian. Both of my grandmothers born in 1879 and 1886 were working women. They both worked in the plantation system. The one born in 1879 worked in the fields at Mangrove plantation until she was well into her 80’s and raised 3 children too, GOD knows how many she gave birth to and how many died because of the hardships in early 20th century Barbados. The other grandmother raised 4 of her own children and 2 more for her sister who died when the children were 5 and 3; and in addition and washed and ironed clothes at home for several plantation owners and their families. Somebody had be to be washing and ironing the clothes of the plantation owners and their families so that they could look nice when they stepped out of the door, you don’t think that a plantation wife did such hard labour do you? as not even plantition owners had washing machines, or clothes dryers or electirc irons even up to the early 1960’s in Barbados; the clothes of the plantation owners and their families were washed and ironed by a hard working black mother in the village. My own mother born in 1915 raised 9 children and worked from aged 12 to 25 when the second child was born and then again from 47 to 66, when the last child started school; that is she did paid work in the fields and domestic work 32 years, in addition to raising 9 children. When she was not in the paid workforce my father suported the family, and my mother minded the children (both grandmothers were helping Barbados to produce the 200,000 tonnes of sugar that was the norm in the first half of the 20th century). Both grandmothere were in their turn suppored by their husbands when their children were small.

    I hear this thing about the village in the olden days helping to raise the children, but my bet is that if proper research was done we will find out that children have always been raised principally by their own hardworking mothers and FATHERS and that frequently an older sibling (often a girlchild) took on significant child raising responsibilities often when she was only a child herself, so yes we have always had children raising children (their younger siblings)

    So in talking about the village raising the child we miss 2 things.

    The important role FATHERS (and step-fathers) have long played in nuclear families, especially in rural working class working nuclear families who I believe have always in the majority. I don’t think that these GOOD MEN get enough credit.

    And 2 the role the BIG SISTERS have long played in helping to raise their younger siblings. In fact BIG SISTERS played such a big role that these big sisters were often withdrawn from school early to help their own mother’s raise children. These BIG SISTERS in their 60’s and 70’s are not dead yet and I believe that we should get them to tell their truthful stories before they pass on.

    I believe that we have let foreigners interpret our culture for us and tell us about the village raising the child. The bigger truth is that MOTHERS and FATHERS (and STEP-FATHERS) and BIG SISTERS have done most of the brutal hard labour required to raise large families.

    Happy Mother’s Day to all BU mums.


  28. Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers.

    I am suggesting here and now that most men love their children and would like to be there for them. I will further suggest that a lot of woman are not interested in the fathers ability to nurture but more in his ability to support.

    How many single mothers would allow de child fada tuh see he son even ef he doan support he?


  29. Bonny P

    I would like tah see you and de push ups wid all dah silicone you got in dey now …. hah! 🙂

    Random Thoughts

    How you sweety … you still bearing pickanineess?


  30. @David….To take a stab at it, could it how girls and boys are being socialized? Perhaps some innate wiring of Homo sapiens along the gender line?

    David…Not a believer in the homo spaiens gender line bit, for as far as I am concerned the only difference between man and woman is – man got his penis hanging out, woman got hers hanging in – this way they fit together. Women have breasts hanging out and men ‘used’ to only have them hanging in 🙂 (too much chicken with hormones giving men breasts now!) – another way of comfort in fitting together. There are a few other distinctions…minor ones that really do not get into the price of tea in China. Me personally? I am not a believer that men are made like this and women like that when it comes to the mind…that matter encased in bone between the ears? Same ting!

    However…socialization is what I believe in. From time immemorial women had certain roles (mostly pertaining to child bearing and chores that go with this and a union with a man), man provided by going hunting for food, and I mean real food that kept the family alive…they were there to protect mostly too. But life changes, we do not live in caves anymore. Women still give birth, nurture and do chores…but now they also want or have to have careers in order to make ends meet so they can live some kind of protected life…men on the other hand having all of this already have only changed in their hunting patterns…today they hunt for anyting on two legs in the female form….and I see no problem in that little pass-time (and I spell it like this because it is really just to pass the time so they do not have to go home and do some real work! 🙂 ) as long as they are doing what they are supposed to be doing back at the ranch, like bringing home their share – meaning half/half…half de chores and half de nurturing….Women birth ’cause men just cannot do it, not physically or mentally – that showing how much stronger we are actually!! 🙂 🙂 Just to digress a little.

    But we women have still the problem I guess in the birthing of sons…we still believe that the the girls are to be one way and the boys another. A boy’s birth brings cigar smoking, a girl a glass of wine. Girls play with dolls and boys with trucks – that kind of mentality. We spoil the broth before it has even made the soup.

    Me? I never had boys but if I had given birth to one of those creatures, they would be successful nurturers and providers….I would have smoked a cigar and drank a glass of wine at their birth, they would have played with dolls and trucks basically, they would have learned to cook, clean and do everything my girls learned. No different.

    50-50 is my way or it is the highway…and that means out. If my boys refused to tow the line whether because of how they believed they should be brought up from seeing others/peer pressure etc. TDB. Too dyamed bad. Get your own apartment and learn de hard way. Big men coming home for mother to wash, clean and prune is not on my agenda. So perhaps God knew what He was doing when he gave me girls…me ent know!

    Women are getting stronger and perhaps with this men will start to wake up and smell the roses. ‘Cause truly, at the end of the day, any sane woman just wants a man at her side who is her 50/50 relationship…nothing more or less…well for me at least it is so. And nurturing is the big factor here too ’cause if I not there, he got to nurture. Simple as dat.

    So all in all perhaps on Mother’s Day women (and men too even if it is on Father’s Day and both on every other day) should ponder changing their ways of bringing up the male species….so that their male babies when they grow up to big little boys, will also understand the natural behaviour of nurturing…so they too can be the x factor of this great attribute that they seem to think that only women have or should have…someting like dat David???


  31. @RT
    I have gleaned from the little that I know about my ex-husbands family that his mother for lack of a better term was driving the bus, a family of 7 children much like you describe.I have heard stories of my mother-in-law picking up every two to three years to relocate with the children, and her husband likely unwilling to do so (I assume) and staying behind. This pattern of transiency only stopped when she reached her late 60’s, early seventies– that would have put the last of the children at age 12 or 13. My father-in-law was a lifelong employee at Roberts, but I believe more credence was placed in the various pursuits of my mother-in-law: operating a shop, hawking,I’ve even heard she worked as a barkeep,etc.I too believe that the older children played a significant part in raising the younger. There are some stories that don’t bear repeating but the authority in some cases of the older over the younger may not have been the best situation either.


  32. @random thoughts…since I mentioned a village bringing up a child…I am assuming that you mean me (may be wrong) when you say foreigners interpreting our culture. So let just (in case) mention that (a) I am not a foreigner, totally Caribbean in fact (b) as a food/travel writer I get to go to many Caribbean islands, I get to talk to a lot of people…the village bringing up concept is alive and still very well
    in many islands, particularly in rural areas. I would say that the sentence means basically what you have pointed out…when mothers work many take part in the nurturing of children including fathers… Unfortunately in many cases this is not happening anymore and we wonder why…well I do anyhow and obviously BU does too ’cause he put up the subject. And do remember that we are talking collectively…there are still wonderful fathers and mothers who both nurture their children in a wonderful way….and yes! sometimes nurturing does not always work and children get older and yes! may become an axe-murderer but….we have to still try. And mostly the time has come to begin instilling in our boy children that they must be nurturers too. Simple tings.


  33. BAF
    taday is muddas day. behave nah. I tryin ta. (ya cannnn help but luv you n ya pervertment) smoochessssssss

    Kracker Jack
    Not fa shite. if de fada in supportin ‘e chile, wah he wannna see ‘e fa? ta seee how ‘e growin widout he help? stupseeeeeeeee. wah good reason a fada could got not ta support ‘e child/ren? tel de trute. if he in wukkin but is tilll a good fada, i would give in. but ya wukkin, i strugglin ta mek enzs meet, n ya cuming ta confuse de place? man, looka, doan cum roun’ me nor de chile. ya is excess baggag. doan get me rong, i luv men. cannnnn do widout dem but de lowlife fadas, uh-uhhhhhhhh, na time fa dem. support wunna-all chil’ren i.e mentally, physicallly, spiritually and moneyly.

    Homegrown
    Kudos to you. I raised my sons almost single-handedly too because thought their father was present in the home, he was abscent from everything. I think I did a good job thus far. And should one of them get involved in any ‘trouble’ with the law, he knows my stance on that already, so he won’t waste his ‘one’ phone-call dialing my number. No sense adding fuel to fire.
    So you continue your good job mentoring the young ones and should they turn wayward, at least, you know that you did your best. You can’t give them a mind, the old folk always say.
    (I would like ya ta teach me ta save too, LOL)

    A specially blessed Mother’s Day to you.

    Shalom.


  34. Rosemary Parkinson
    My village is still ‘raising’ our chil’ren. My village is still very much
    ‘old-barbadiana’.
    Bless my village.


  35. Quoting Rosemary Parkinson “today we have mothers at 13 years old”

    My grandmother’s grandparents married at St. Silas Church in 1858 when they were both 14. I have their marriage certificate and both their birth certificates to prove it. If you will check Archival documents (I did) you will find that marriage and childbearing in the mid-teens has ALWAYS been commonplace, not only in Barbados but in most societies and the more religious the society the more likely it was to practice early marriage and in the abscence of contraception early childbearing.

    The use of condoms after World War 2 (and since the early 80’s as a prevention against HIV) and the use of the pill starting in the 1960’s have if anything raised the age of first birth a bit. Historially first birth took place in the mid to late teens (not nice but the truth)

    If any of you doubt me go to the Archives and find out when your great grand mother had her first child. The records are there.


  36. Quiting BABFP ” volunteer for the trips to the polyclinic’s “paternal” ward with the brats … Oh dear oh dear, all those breasssts popping out of blouses, all those breassts… never quite understood why women in normal situations would be very conscious about showing a breast in public, but when there is a baby around .. ”

    Dear BABFP what you are seeing at the polyclinics are not breasts, when a mother is feeding her baby, what you are seeing is a plate of food.

    Repeat after me “A plate of food”


  37. Quoting BAFBFP | May 8, 2011 at 8:55 AM | And a happy mothers day to … Random Thoughts (LOL).

    Happy Mothers’ Day to you too BAFBFP.


  38. David asked “What will fill the ‘village’ role?”
    Dear David:

    When there are good fathers (and stepfathers) in the house there is little or nothing left for the village to do.

    Sir Hilary wants a university graduate in every home.

    In addition I want a good father (or step-father) in every home.

    Dear Rosemary Parkinson:

    Happy Mother’s Day to you. I know that you are a dyed in the wool 100% Bajan. Barbados is after all a very small place.

    Dear Homegrown:

    I was very fortunate. My mother lived in one village for 85 years. My father moved to that village when they got together and he remained there for 66 years until he died. So I had a very stable home life and I’ve done the same for my children.


  39. Dear HOmegrown:

    Your son’s father is a MORON. If you happen to see him on Broad Street, cross the street and pass by on the other side, so that his stupidity does not contaminate you.

    Anybody who would think that it is a waste of time to raise their own child, or anybody else’s child for that matter is a complete IDIOT and a waste of time.

    When next you see him do not, I repeat, DO NOT tell him morning. He doesn’t deserve it.


  40. @Home grown

    Your son’s dad has no respect for himself that is why he can’t have any respect for you and others. He is only jealous that you have done such a great job, a better job than he would have. Many men think that all they have to do is to donate the sperm and they become a father.

    Random thoughts ……you are very fortunate to have traced your family tree and what an enlightening history. Thanks for sharing.

    Kracker jack……. why should she allow the child to see their father when he doesn’t contribute to the child’s upkeep? He doesn’t care how the child eats and lives. Many fathers feel that their children can live on air pockets and wind pies. Many men are quick to walk when they hear pregnancy.

    Some men have had to step up and become mothers and fathers when their spouse died. And have done a wonderful job so I want to say Happy Mother’s day to them. Bonny can tell us first hand about that and she is living proof of that.


  41. A Mother is everyday, every hour , every minute
    not one stoopid hullaboo on one particuar day

    bah !!!!


  42. Thanks for the kind words all, sometimes one thinks they are going crazy…Happy Mother’s Day all, enjoy the day!


  43. Random Thoughts
    you fast becomin worsa dhan me bout hay wid ya hilariousity. i kippin a close eye pun you. ya baddddddddddddddd.

    Tina Roach
    why do you insist on persecuting we wid your shite day in day out? dese tings is only tradition n celebratin dem nevva kill a boy yet. go in piece/peace.
    bah,bah!!!!!!

    islandgal
    de sad ting is dat ya nevva kno wah kinda fadda/mudda a person gun turn out ta be ’til dem become a parent. sad but true. causen a lotta we, me included, din gun worry ta wuk-up sa stink at de time. LOLLL


  44. I believe societal changes in Barbados are contributing to the dysfunctional behaviour of “some ” of our young people. The black middle classes of yore, in general had a certain type of behaviour which was expected of them…not in every case it is true. They lived among the less well off -but in better houses – before the flight to the terraces.

    The poor blacks aspired to behave not like white people…but like the respected black professionals, who had made it, and lived in their neighbourhood.

    The respect then accorded to others, which made a village in most cases a homogenous entity, is now long gone. Some young people believe money is king, however acquired and nothing matters but self. The bonds of society matters not, as does society itself or the people they interact with.


  45. It is ahard road to travel for any single parent in this modern society . Society is not the way it used to be in yesterdays . THe world has become a lot smaller because of media and other forms of communication. Easy access to all kinds of information wether be good or bad helps to cultivate and influence a persons mind making the Xfactor Xrated


  46. THE PLAYGROUND OF THE ASININE

    THE OUTLET OF THE LONESOME

    THE PARADE GROUND OF THE CLOWNS

    THIS FORUM IS ALL THIS AND LESS

    BORING !!!!!


  47. @ Asinine Pragmatist …why are you here if we are so boring? GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!


  48. Maybe Pragamist disliked his Mother. !Poor thing! What could his mother have done to him to show so much disrepect for her on this day What a Pity! Poor thing!


  49. Belated mother’s day greetings to all the girls and thanks BABFP for the sentiments.

    The cohesive unit as we know it has broken down and so we as women are left many times without back up. However when our backs are up against a wall we find the strength to overcome whatever challenges confront us.

    That is the strength of the woman.

    So Homegrown, with our without your son’s father, you are blessed sista girl.


  50. Blogmaster, please.
    Your talk about motherhood and its nuturing role being “priceless” is nothing more than a fake compliment commonly used to fool society into believing that the patriarchy, which men like YOU reprsent, actually care about mothers and the work they do.
    In reality, our patriarchal society has never given a shit about mothers.
    If you really care so much, then how about actually paying mothers to stay home, run households, rear children, clean houses, snotty noses, bathrooms, cook, teach, play psychologist, nurse, etc.?
    The many roles that men take on in our society are just as priceless and highly valuable as women’s. Which is why men insist on getting paid for them! Let’s start paying mothers for the work they do, in the same manner that men get paid for the work they do.
    It will never happen, because it is to our society’s benefit to have women perform these motherhood duties for free, under the pretense that it is a mother’s “God-given” purpose in life.
    Can you imagine how financially better off women would be if they were paid, I mean actually PAID, for being mothers? Sorry, the patriarchy ain’t having it!

    And co-sign the earlier commenters who pointed out the hypocrisy of blaming working mothers for the breakdown of society, while failing to mention that it is the MASS abandonment by fathers of their children that is equally, if not moreso, to blame.


  51. @ David.
    Absolutely. At least those of us who have not been brainwashed, hoodwinked and bamboozled into believing that it is our lot in life to perform certain tasks for free. And that we should enjoy performing unpaid labour.
    I have spoken to many working mothers who say that if they didn’t have bills to pay, they would quit their jobs in a heartbeat and stay home to look after their children full-time. But they know that in these tough times this is not practical.
    Unless you are married to, or partnered with, a man who is earning a considerable income, in these modern times it is simply not practical for only one partner to be bringing in a salary.


  52. @David,
    Please don’t go there with the “Women who choose careers are bad mothers” nonsense. It is only a problem if the fathers are not willing to perform their fair share of labour around the house. If we believe that it is not a man’s place to contribute anything to the domestic sphere other than bringing home the bacon, then we will always have a problem.


  53. Nia…kudos, another classic quote from my sons father (who is a chef),it was something to the effect of ‘I only cook when I get paid.’ He refused to cook at home (among other chores) I felt that this was the ultimate betrayal, my cooking was never up to his standards, he critiqued it, and to boot I did it for the love of my family, unpaid!!!


  54. Many women make bad choices in the men they choose to partner them, and then it is everyone’s fault when things go wrong but not their’s, for the choice they made.


  55. All that glints
    Life is about choices my friend and men are just as guilty as women in choosing the wrong partner at times too. Therefore, this cannot be stereotyped as a gender thing. Agree? We are all gullible at some time in our lives, so cast no feminine-stones. But most of the time, if not all, the woman is left with the sole responsibility of raising a child on her own. Did she get it alone? No. So why should she be the only one left to nurture this child? We never know if a man/woman will make a good parent until he/she actually become one. Talk is cheap. Ya have to pay fa Absolute. When de foopin was good, de man din complainin den. So why shift ya responsibility when ya hear dat i pregnant? stupseeeeeee, doan mek sport All that glints.


  56. Quoting David “she must be treasured and honoured.”

    But David if mothers are so treasured and honoured how come partly paid maternity is the same lousy 12 weeks it has been since 1967?

    A fellow can cuss the boss stink, stink, get fired and go home and collect unemployment benefits for 9 months.

    His wife can work hard, give excellent customer service, then when she goes home to give birth to a new taxpayer all she gets is a lousy 12 weeks with part pay.

    I don’t think that it is fair that the fellow who cuss the boss can get 9 months of paid leave and honoured and treasured mothers get only 12 weeks?

    Maybe Carson C. Cagogan can answer this for me too. Carson tell me why the DLP ain’t fixing this, since the lousy BLP didn’t.


  57. Random
    I wid you hay. Bout 12-18 munts would be good. ya would be able ta bress-feed ya lil whun among udda tings. Wah 12 weeks is jus enuff time ta get pregnant again? LOL


  58. Much respect to mothers holding it down and together in these hard times especially when the men are not supportive. We know there are good men too but that’s another article.
    The article makes a good point, They are heiroines and ‘women of the soil toil’ thats what it was. UP from slavery, colonialism and horrible racism – to today. Women bore the brunt for the sake of the children. Now what you find is that because some are successful and marry outside of their race they can look the other way and ignore the continued suffering of their cousins in the caribbean and africa -where our roots are.
    If everyone of african decent looked to improve, we can in turn help our distant cousins, but no! instead we have killings for the lack of not knowing our one another, there is a tendancy to look down on those less fortunate. If they are our weakest link then our linkage or linage will be broken. Thats what we see today. The falseness, hype and spin.
    Many countries including japan, haiti and the caribbean, spain, italy and america have in recent times suffered flooding, hurricanes, and earthquakes and now realise that you can have everything today but tomorrow it can all be gone, its those times that you will either see people pull together or fall apart. Its good to see how these countries cope -take a lesson.


  59. @ Bonny Peppa

    When madas get this long time for maternity, what about fahdas and uncles, and nieces, and grandparents, and all the addaz who want special time over everybody else. What a rahtid! Me feel like jumping and kin puppa lick.

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