A Father’s Role, PRICELESS!

Submitted by Charles Knighton

Michelle Obama highlights the importance the role of the father when all is said and done.

Marriage key for black family” page 21 article, Daily Nation Sept. 20, “Former magistrate: Break single-parent mould” page 5 article, Barbados Advocate Sept. 20

Local pundits, letter-writers and talk-radio hosts, singularly myopic in their quest to ferret out any word or phrase which might connote some underlying racial animus in the American presidential campaign have, in my opinion, neglected the most important statement uttered in either convention, a sentiment which has been sorely lacking not only in America, but in Barbados as well.

Herewith: “He was so proud to be sending his kids to college, and he made sure we never missed a registration deadline because his check was late. You see, for my dad, that’s what it meant to be a man. That was the measure of his success in life—being able to earn a decent living that allowed him to support his family.”

Michelle Obama was talking about her father, of course, and his struggles to make sure his children got an education. One could extrapolate her meaning to include the problem of unemployment, which, she asserted, would be solved by her husband if reelected. But the larger message was not political.

It was that being a man means taking care of your family. It means showing up and being there. It means that children need a father. This profound and simple message shouldn’t need elaboration, but many seem to have forgotten it.

During the past several decades, women have been encouraged by a culture dismissive of traditional family structure to feel free to go it alone and ignore the contributions that fathers make in the nurturing of children.
One needn’t diminish the heroic efforts of single moms, many of whom are single by necessity or circumstances beyond their control, to understand that fathering is just as important as mothering. From their fathers, boys learn to be men, and girls learn how to manage them. The Obama girls are indeed blessed. They’ll know how to relate to men in healthy ways and how to navigate a sexually aggressive culture in which some boys won’t have had a decent man to guide them.

Yes, women can teach girls these things, too, but a father’s love for his daughter teaches without preaching. A girl knows what a healthy man’s love looks and feels like. She sees how he treats her mother. She learns by experiencing what should be.

The importance of fatherhood to the health of children, and indeed to nations, can’t be exaggerated. Studies have shown for decades that social pathologies afflicting the young tend to cluster among children without fathers. We also know from experience that single mothers can and do raise exceptional children.

But such children are exceptional, which is why we are so riveted by their biographies. More often, young males and females without fathers wind up in trouble. Boys join gangs in search of male fraternity missing at home. Young females seek male attention, mistaken for love, through sexual adventurism.

The Obamas seem to be a model family, as do, by the way, the Romneys. Ann Romney delivered a speech in which she said she doesn’t have a perfect marriage.She has a “real” one. Those who have spent time in the marital trenches understand what she means—that marriage is hard work and that parenting is the hardest of all.

That Michelle Obama chose to underscore those struggles and to set an example for women and, through her daughters, for little girls, was a gift to us all. That she chose to highlight her father’s meaning to her life—and that of her husband to her daughters—was a gift to the future.

0 thoughts on “A Father’s Role, PRICELESS!

    • Not to takeaway from the excellent message from this blog by Charles but here is a video which exposes one of our Nation’s columnist (Corey Worrell):

  1. The Obama family….one of par excellence…..I would love to be able to put aside $2 mill to any of my children’s education. But i guess out last all money included….education $$ …..well that has to be tangible…

  2. Charlie:

    I commend and appreciate the reminder that family include father.

    We, both men and women are impatient and unwilling to be tolerant to indifference and disloyality. Kindly also resound in the hearing of nuclear families it does not matter how many children are deviant some also are raised in the nuclear families.

    Such messages are to be balance especially when the first nuclear family as recorded in scripture showed the brother killed the paternal brother and was sentenced by a just God.

    Only this week I voiced an opinion that most women are doing God a disservice by being single and are not prepared to forgive and reconcile because of sin (today called a mistake).

    We are a people that are called to keep God’s commandment with gladness. Wide is the way that leads to destruction and many they be that find it paraphrased from Scripture.

    Forgive, embrace, be tolerant, patient, kind and loving to your spouse. How many times to forgive ‘seventy times seven’ show compassion.

    This does not say stay in an abusive relationship.

  3. Anecdote of Fathers
    William Wordsworth

    I have a boy of five years old;
    His face is fair and fresh to see;
    His limbs are cast in beauty’s mould,
    And dearly he loves me.

    One morn we strolled on our dry walk,
    Our quiet home all full in view,
    And held such intermitted talk
    As we are wont to do.

    My thoughts on former pleasures ran;
    I thought of Kilve’s delightful shore,
    Our pleasant home when spring began,
    A long, long year before.

    A day it was when I could bear
    Some fond regrets to entertain;
    With so much happiness to spare,
    I could not feel a pain.

    The green earth echoed to the feet
    Of lambs that bounded through the glade,
    From shade to sunshine, and as fleet
    From sunshine back to shade.

    Birds warbled round me—and each trace
    Of inward sadness had its charm;
    Kilve, thought I, was a favoured place,
    And so is Liswyn farm.

    My boy beside me tripped, so slim
    And graceful in his rustic dress!
    And, as we talked, I questioned him,
    In very idleness.

    “Now tell me, had you rather be,”
    I said, and took him by the arm,
    “On Kilve’s smooth shore, by the green sea,
    Or here at Liswyn farm?”

    In careless mood he looked at me,
    While still I held him by the arm,
    And said, “At Kilve I’d rather be
    Than here at Liswyn farm.”

    “Now, little Edward, say why so:
    My little Edward, tell me why.”—
    “I cannot tell, I do not know.”—
    “Why, this is strange,” said I;

    “For, here are woods, hills smooth and warm:
    There surely must some reason be
    Why you would change sweet Liswyn farm
    For Kilve by the green sea.”

    At this, my boy hung down his head,
    He blushed with shame, nor made reply;
    And three times to the child I said,
    “Why, Edward, tell me why?”

    His head he raised—there was in sight,
    It caught his eye, he saw it plain—
    Upon the house-top, glittering bright,
    A broad and gilded vane.

    Then did the boy his tongue unlock,
    And eased his mind with this reply:
    “At Kilve there was no weather-cock;
    And that’s the reason why.”

    O dearest, dearest boy! my heart
    For better lore would seldom yearn,
    Could I but teach the hundredth part
    Of what from thee I learn.

  4. Once you can understand it……dah is what important. Forgive the impressionism…..It sweet right…I love it too.

  5. onions the little boy as innoncent as he is was willing to forego telling the truth but ceased the opportunity of using the weather cock as an to hid his true feelings.and up to now the only one knows the reason for him not wanting to tell his father is him. Similar to what politicians do tell the people what they want to hear maybe this kid has the makings of a “President”some da along the way with practice he will become perfect

  6. Why ac you could try telling that to your Ossie Moore ensemble…some of these things nowadays too colossal to hide like Edwards…even to cheat a smile….feeling or not

    Water bills high, light bills skyrocketing,
    Cell and telephone rip rip rip.
    Nothing to smile about,
    Rest assured a price gouging
    Leaving one to nest wid nuttin…
    Financially chomped to bits

    We hear of pecuniary transfers
    And swaps of the pejorative kind,
    Poor quality drug replacements,
    Escalated fees and taxes, fines,
    We are all but left to wonder,
    What next piece of stupidity
    Coming our way to bind.

  7. Charlie boy…..I now get this article and its timeliness ….A FATHER ESSENTIAL….like EWB able to lead the DLP and give direction….this present strain of own-way wild boys want a father to guide them and cut some them ass too….but Fundy like he ent able….look what happen yesterday..ANOTHER TRAVESITY…..they lost their way…bringing large scale tonk to the shores of Bubbados…..fellas the police duz beat ya fa tonk…ask Crimeson.

  8. The truth can be hidden or obscure for along time being replaced by a giant charade which we endear ourselves to feeling a sense of confort until it is too late and when truth becomes real we have to endured pain for recovery.onions all of the above you mentioned is because of a failure or lack of truths which remained dormant due to lack of good goverance and leadership for a long time only now to be exposed with deadly consequences .

  9. Read my lips” Fourteen Golden Years”…….then “Four of the Most Torrid”……..JOKER !…..wanna lost the way…

  10. Onions may be you ought to take afew lessons from the father in the poem he was willing to listen to his son explanation and never argued.As a matter of fact he endiorsedchis son and told him i too was in a similar position . “i understand” sometimes understanding helps to defuse a crtical circumstance as with barbados sitting on an economic “time bomb ” needing all the help in defusing it. can,t wait for the bell to ring time is of essence as with time it waits for no man be it “father or mother”

  11. long talkers? good for privileged USA presidents kids,who gives a funk?
    they soon will be gone ,good residence i hope the black did not rub off on the walls and furniture or they will have to fumigate the white house.
    i am kidding right mill.lol

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