Weight Does NOT Determine Worth

Melissa_Martin.png

Submitted by Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and therapist. She lives in the US

What is the difference between weight and worth? One changes—the other does not.

Adding or dropping pounds does not make a person’s worth go up and down.

Fear of fat. “Why do modern women in the most affluent countries in the world live like starving people in a primitive land? Why do they choose to be weak, apathetic and unable to fully contribute to their families, their careers, and their communities? It’s simple. They are terrified of being fat. Women today are afraid to eat . . . afraid their bodies will be unacceptable in a society obsessed by thinness. It’s a fear that consumes, shatters lives, even kills. . . . The number one wish of brilliant, ambitious young women is not to save the rain forests or succeed in a career, but to lose weight.” Excerpt from Women Afraid to Eat Breaking Free in Today’s Weight-Obsessed World, a book by Frances M. Berg (1999).

The Obesity Myth: Why America’s Obsession with Weight is Hazardous to Your Health

by Paul Campos (2004) exposed the weakness of the evidence that being overweight is bad for health and the dangers of the current obsession with weight and weight loss in America. “Campos believes that the efforts to portray fat as unhealthy and unacceptable are driven by junk science, hatred of fat people, and a profit-hungry dieting industry.” www.livescience.com/.

The number on a scale is not indicative of your human worth. Measuring self by measuring pounds is an erroneous belief—a hyped hullabaloo. Skinny does not equal happy. Body dissatisfaction is out of control. Who is propagating weightism, size prejudice, and appearance discrimination? Who is body-shamming? Who needs to zip their lips?

Females are in body image bondage. Our self-worth and self-concept is tied up in knots. Like dancing puppets, we awkwardly shuffle to a repressive rhythm. Weight obsession is rampant. Can we cut the puppet strings?

Don’t exercise because you reject your body—exercise because you accept your body and want it to be healthy. Stop sending hate messages to your skin, muscles, bones—and fat cells.

Step away from the sensationalized selfie craze. Snapping and posting selfies lead to self-criticism as others spout off with judgmental comments. Why subject yourself to the catty crowd? Why compare your body to others? And even though you may receive positive remarks about your body—it’s still a focus on your outer container. And cyber body-bullying is a problem.

The perfect Barbie doll body is a fallacy. However, Mattel has created three new bodies for Barbie; curvy, petite (shorter), and tall. Why? Because parents requested a more realistic Barbie body. And Mattel listened—it’s about time!

Girls with negative body images are more likely to develop an eating disorder and to experience depression, isolation, and weight loss obsession.

While the world may not see the difference between worth and weight, wise women do. And they can communicate unconditional worth to their daughters—regardless of size and shape. Regardless of boobs, booties, or belly bulges. Regardless of social media and Hollywood hoopla. Regardless.

Preventing body image bondage for our daughters and granddaughters is essential. Let’s teach the next generation to accept natural body shapes and sizes. And that weight does not determine worth.

Investigate the national and global influence of the media’s messages about body shape, size, and weight. Stand up and speak out against body image bondage. Gather facts and statistics and debate the fear of fat.

Please say the following mantra to yourself daily, “My body is my container. It carries around my soul. And my essence. I will honor my body while working on being physically and emotionally healthy. My worth is not tied to my weight.” Find your inner female friend and be kind to her. Your worth is not determined by your weight.

 

38 comments

  • I would like to as this lady how many fat women she sees in the nursing facility in their eighties? The evidence is clear and convincing … being overweight significantly impacts one’s quality of life … and only a fool would disregard the overwhelming medical evidence which clearly shows the being overweight contributes to hypertension, diabetes, strokes, high cholesterol, and variety of cancers …

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  • Unable to contribute

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  • David, I don’t even think that this woman is qualify to speak on this issue because she doesn’t have a medical background… I would agree however … that as a therapist and counselor she can address the emotional side of the issue … but it is share lunacy to think that it is ok for a woman to be satisfy with being overweight when the medical evidence is to the contrary…

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  • David, I have a Jamaican friend here whose daughter is overweight and she is battling diabetes at the young age of 14 … so tell me how this article serve to promote a health lifestyle if a woman is led to believe that it is ok to be overweight because of the propaganda that is being perpetuated by elements in society who aim it is to mislead women with regard to their bodies size?

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  • Hear this woman again:” My worth isn’t tied to my weight.” but your health is though … Does this woman really understand the stress the overweight body puts on the heart when it has to pump the blood throughout such a large body?

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  • White woman with crap again, loved by the chairman. This is Barbados, stubborn and wrong – but punching above their weight. A chairman who aims for a world-class blog and believes, wrongly, that the only way to achieve this is by publishing crap from a white woman..

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  • So what is her point
    Seems as if this lady is tak2kng herself too seriously
    Her article obviuosly misses the point of healthy eating and benefits derived
    Her bone of contention of correalting worth to weight can be categorized as junk science

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  • Georgie Porgie

    QUOTATION FROM ELSEWHERE ON BU BY DAVID

    We have some people on the blog that have a lot of time on their hands; precious time, on their hands.

    HE AINT LIE FOLKS

    NOW YOU ARE ASKED TO JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION, YOU NEVER KNOW HOW EXPRESSING YOUR VIEW MAY MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

    BUT YOU MUST DO SO PRESUMABLY WHEN YOU DONT HAVE TIME ON YOUR HANDS TO READ THE SHITE IN THIS ILLOGICAL IRRATIONAL UNSCIENTIFIC IGNORANT ARTICLE

    Liked by 1 person

  • To be fair, I think the lady is talking to those who obsess about their weight, not those who try to eat healthy and exercise moderately. I don’t know if that is a big problem in Barbados with the average citizen. How prevalent are eating disorders in Barbados. We will have to ask the upper classes about the eating disorders, I suspect. I don’t see much body shaming for fat people by the average citizen. As a matter of fact I think there is still more body shaming for being skinny.

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  • Georgie Porgie

    LET ME DO A HANTS HERE
    https://barbadostoday.bb/2019/05/05/man-46-shot-and-killed-near-country-road/
    SEEMS PIECE IS RIGHT AND THE TALLY FOR THE YEAR WILL BE 50
    READ THE ARTICLE ON BARBADOS TODAY AS WELL AS THE COMMENTS

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  • @Donna

    Yours is our interpretation of the article. What it does is raises a serious issue around obesity in Barbados and related concerns.

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  • Yours is our interpretation of the article. What it does is raises a serious issue around obesity in Barbados and related concerns.(Quote)

    This is disingenuous. The article says nothing about obesity in Barbados. It is a generic article, which is totally irrelevant. People in Barbados can debate obesity and lifestyles without directions from some white American with a PhD in rubbish. Then for the chairman to try and justify publishing this nonsense. Treat your readers with respect.

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  • Georgie Porgie

    ILLOGICAL IRRATIONAL UNSCIENTIFIC IGNORANT ARTICLE

    HAL YOU ARE CORRECT The article says nothing about obesity in Barbados. It is a generic article, which is totally irrelevant. People in Barbados can debate obesity and lifestyles without directions from some white American with a PhD in rubbish.

    RE I think the lady is talking to those who obsess about their weight, not those who try to eat healthy and exercise moderately.
    IF THIS WAS HER INTENT SHE SHOULD HAVE SAID SO

    RE I don’t know if that is a big problem in Barbados with the average citizen.
    How prevalent are eating disorders in Barbados. We will have to ask the upper classes about the eating disorders, I suspect.

    SEEMS YOU DONT KNOW A LOT OF THINGS AND THAT YOU “have a lot of time on YOUR hands; precious time, on YOUR hands TO TALK ABOUT THINGS ABOUT WHICH YOU ADMITTEDLY KNOW NOTHING.

    RE I don’t see much body shaming for fat people by the average citizen. As a matter of fact I think there is still more body shaming for being skinny.
    SO THEN THE ARTICLE IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT TO BAJANS

    THIS WOMAN IS NIETHER A NUTRITIONIST OR BIOCHEMIST—SHE IS COMPLETELY OUT OF HER LEAGUE.
    ONCE UPON A TIME I WOULD HAVE SUBMITTED MY STELLAR PPT ON EATING DISORDERS

    Liked by 1 person

  • If it is ignorant do not read it. State your comment like you have done. The blogmaster will post articles using our judgement as we have done for over a decade. You may have the last word.

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  • RE I don’t know if that is a big problem in Barbados with the average citizen.
    How prevalent are eating disorders in Barbados. We will have to ask the upper classes about the eating disorders, I suspect.

    SEEMS YOU DONT KNOW A LOT OF THINGS AND THAT YOU “have a lot of time on YOUR hands; precious time, on YOUR hands TO TALK ABOUT THINGS ABOUT WHICH YOU ADMITTEDLY KNOW NOTHING.

    No more time than you do, sir. But to loosely quote you from a another blog – ” that seems to be bothering you more than it is bothering my dear son.”

    🤣

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  • Georgie Porgie

    QUID DIXI SCRIPSI QUE DIXI SCRIPSI QUE

    DONNA HOW IS YOUR PERFECT SINLESS SON TODAY?

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  • Georgie Porgie

    WE KNOW FROM ARCHIMEDES PRINCIPLE THAT WEIGHT DETERMINES WORTH AH LIE?

    Liked by 1 person

  • David

    The article does not raise the seriousness around the issue of obesity in Barbados, but it encourages women that are obese to accept such condition irrespective of the life changing consequences of having such a condition.

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  • David

    There is overwhelming evidence which links those that are obese with diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sudden death, and various types of cancer … however, I would agree with the author that from an emotional standpoint women have to accept who they are as far as body types are concerned, but they also have to be cognizant of pathological consequences associated with certain body types as well.

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  • David I have to agree with you here on all are entitled to a point of view. I don’t think she is saying get fat and eat anything. I think she is trying to say that if you are overweight don’t feel that all is lost. I read an article recently in the USA that sports shops are under real pressure now financially because the young people believe playing a game must included 2 joysticks and a TV. I think what she failed to state is that lifestyle change and activity must be at the core or true change whether it’s in the USA or here in Bim.

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  • Georgie Porgie

    RE I think what she failed to state is that lifestyle change and activity must be at the core or true change whether it’s in the USA or here in Bim.

    SO WHY DIDNT SHE SAY SO?.
    YOU SAID YOU THINK
    WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU THINK WITH?
    HOW CAN YOU KNOW THAT SOMETHING THINKS A B OR C IF THEY HAVE NOT SAID SO

    NOW GO BACK TO YOUR MARK AND RUN BACK IN

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  • Lol let me get you clear. You have never thought something and not said it? The lady was discussing a delicate topic and emphasised that a heavy person must not let that determine her self worth. She did not however go on to offer advice for those who were overweight, not that she didn’t know the answers she just stopped short of sharing them, as she was dealing with acceptance. I am saying she could of gone on to stress that while women must accept being overweight as their current situation, it does not mean they should not attempt to change it. She may well of gone on to share it in another discussion or ever further on in this one, it was not however stated in the extract.

    So let me ask you a question for sake of simplicity and ending this discussion. If your car was overheating and you took it to the mechanic, would you be satisfied if he told you I found the problem the car is overheating, or would you expect him to go on and tell you what needs to he done to rectify the problem?

    Do you now better understand my point or does it still elude you?

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  • Georgie Porgie

    THE WOMAN IS NOT QUALIFIED TO PONTIFICATE ON THIS MATTER
    SHE HAS SPEWED ABUNDANTLY FROM HER SHELVES OF HOUSTON
    Do you now better understand or does it still elude you?

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  • The article is a well thought out one. Basically, she is saying to be comfortable with your body. If you are going to exercise, do so because you want to do so, not to impress the Jones’. She has a point ,all excess weight is not bad in some cases. You can be over weight but healthy. There have been examples of people who exercised frequently who dropped down dead because they were not healthy. The late Roleric Miller and Winston Batson are examples of people who appeared to be more fit and healthy than most people. Indeed, Batson once swam around the island and was always playing lawn tennis, Both died from heart attacks.

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  • Georgie Porgie

    The article is a well thought out one. BUT IT NOT CARRYING MUCH WEIGHT OR GAINING ANY TRACTION UH LIE

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  • Robert Lucas

    I beg to defer with your assessment of this article because what this woman is suggesting is down right detrimental for women who are obese … Sir, how could you support this Woman’s view that it is ok to be comfortable with an obese body type when the medical evidence speaks to the contrary …?

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  • Robert Lucas

    You can be overweight and be healthy … I agree … but what about the potential risk factors associated with being overweight down the road? Sir, this kind of think we must discourage because the majority of obese people I know are suffering with some kind of chronic health problems … And as I write a good friend of mine daughter who is merely 13 years of age and it obese is suffering with diabetes and there is no genetic connection associated with her diabetes…

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  • Robert Lucas

    If being obese is not a serious thing … then why is it that some pregnant women run the risk of developing diabetes, high blood pressure and a number of health problems after the birth?

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  • @Lexicon
    Note I said in some cases. If you are naturally heavy set, you will weigh more than the average for your corresponding height. No matter what you do, you will never attain the ideal norm: so it is best to relax and don’t worry about a few pounds over weight. The worrying will kill you.

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  • Robert Lucas

    And finally Dr. Lucas … you can ask Dr. GP … being obese stresses the heart … think about the work the heart has to do to pump the blood throughout a body so wide?

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  • Dr. Lucas being overweight is not a few pounds …it is a health crisis in the making …

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  • A reasonable interpretation. Importantly it could be used to generate relevant discussion given that Barbados is reputed to be the obese and NCD capital of the world.

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  • SirSimpleSimonPresidentForLife

    @Melissa Martin ““Why do modern women in the most affluent countries in the world live like starving people in a primitive land? ”

    Because modern women in the most affluent countries are not required to do any physical work. If they had to work in the fields, give birth to and raise many children, and walk everywhere, they would not look like starving people in a primitive land. They would have to eat ’nuff because they would be required to work hard.

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  • SirSimple, I don’t see nah starving women bout here where I live … perhaps the author is talking about Hollywood, but if you see 10 women in America 9 of them are overweight … but on the serious side I think the contributing factor in this obesity epidemic is the number of fast food joints in America … And believe me when I tell you gym is big business in America …

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  • What’s interesting and breaks the logic of overweight people being unhealthy is the Eskimo. By our standards of weight and height basically every native Eskimo, both male and female would be seen as overweight. Yet high blood pressure, cholesterol and heart problems are extremely rare among those people. So the question is what plays the biggest role in good health, is it our weight or our food choices?

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  • Georgie Porgie

    THE ANSWER IS WE DONT REALLY KNOW

    high blood pressure, cholesterol and heart problems ARE NOT THE ONLY CAUSE FOR DISEASE OR DEATH
    THESE ARE ONLY IN ONE CATEGORY OF TIN CAN BED MIDI

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  • QUID DIXI SCRIPSI QUE DIXI SCRIPSI QUE

    DONNA HOW IS YOUR PERFECT SINLESS SON TODAY?
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    He’s fine, thank you! And how are your perfect, sinless wife and your perfect, sinless mother?

    PS: Since you ain’t God nor even Captain Picard you can “dixi scripsi” all you like but that does not make it so.

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  • Georgie Porgie

    NEVER SAID MY MOTHER AND WIFE WERE SINLESS OR PERFECT BUT I KNOW THAT THEY DID NOT ASSUME THE SUPINE IN AN ATTEMPT TO ACHIEVE THE PERPINDICULAR

    Like

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