Submitted by Mathew Storey
I write regarding a recent article in the Nation entitled Dear John: Do not like gay advances published on the 7th of March 2014 and further regarding a larger national debate which I believe is an important point for discussion.
In summary, a reader has requested advice from the Dear John writer on confronting his boss without jeopardizing his professional relationship. The writer, a young professional man, is uncomfortable with his bosses advances and an unwanted ‘special attraction’. His boss is a senior and as a leading professional, he can offer opportunities to internships and other pathways to success. The boss prefers homosexual relationships whereas the writer prefers heterosexual relationships.
This is an understandably concerning dilemma and an unfortunately common situation which both men and women are confronted with. To clarify, there two points to discuss in this scenario. The first, sexual harassment in the workplace. This term takes on several negative connotations but what I specifically mean is unwanted attention of a sexual nature in the workplace. Harassment is in no way related to sexual orientation and given the balance of probabilities and common assumption is more often heterosexual in nature.
The second point is confronting interpersonal differences in sexual orientation. This specifically refers to the relationships and interactions between heterosexual and homosexual individuals. This is an increasingly common scenario however is still very foreign in the Caribbean which generally identifies as a majority heterosexual community however it acknowledges that individuals preferring a homosexual orientation exist as a variable minority with limited disclosure. This is commonly known as being ‘in the closet’.
My points of objection focus on the response given by the writer of the Dear John article.
Our writer gives several points of advice encouraging a civil, diplomatic solution to the dilemma, involving a meeting over lunch, an explanation, a return of gifts and praise regarding professional practice.
However, after resolving this miscommunication, our writer then suggest condemnation of homosexuality as a sin, socially unacceptable and refers to a trend of internationally misguided legislation and justifies this recommendation as being in line with Christian principle.
I say with honesty and request you forgive my change of tone. This last statement quite literally ‘boils the blood in my veins’.
We as Barbadians have benefited tremendously from a lifestyle which promotes our core values of family, community, culture in music and art and a welcoming, friendly, approachable personality. If you ask any visitor our island, it is our people who set us apart from other destinations offering similar beaches and sunspots. A Barbadian is a typically agreeable, honest, non-judgmental and fun-loving person who enjoys nothing more than putting a genuine smile on another bajan’s face. We enjoy a less timed pace of life and therefore punctuality is an optional extra however manners are not. We are not a confrontational people, we do not fight wars or start revolutions. We have arguably the most stable government in the Americas and this is a huge contributor to our national identity of which we are so proud and has proven so attractive to investors and tourists alike.
I believe this identity then explains my abhorrent objection to the soapbox sermon to condemn any person for the way they live their life. It is reasonable for a body or community which our writer may represent to choose not to endorse the lifestyle of an individual. However, the writer or his community have no authority to condemn any practice or to preach the conversion or inquisition of identified sinners. This goes directly against our traditional values as Barbadians. To reiterate, my traditions as a Barbadian are separate and independent of my traditions from a Christian background. In circumstances which these traditions conflict I am far more proud to be a Bajan than to be a Christian.
I do not look overseas for guidance, I look right here in the land I was born and raised, a country which has taught me tolerance, understanding and pride from a very young age.
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