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Human and Gender Justice Advocate - Felicia Browne
Felicia Browne – Human and Gender Justice Advisor Caribbean Mentorship Institute – CMI

November 25, 2013, was designated as International Day for the Eradication of Violence against women and girls. Secretary General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-Moon, exhorted everyone to “Break the silence. When you witness violence against women and girls, do not sit back. Act.” However, since the 25th, we, in the Caribbean region, have witnessed an upsurge of violent acts of abuse against women and children, mainly in domestic contexts.

In many Caribbean societies, there is an aim to primarily focus on their victims and the nature of their deaths, rather than the deep and fundamental causes of these inhumane acts against human life. Many of these victims are women and children, some of whom were known to be victims of continual abuse or violence within their respective communities. In such human tragedies, it is very alarming that in many of these cases, children are involved –whether directly or indirectly. As we continue to implement effective legislation to try to protect the human and civil rights of these victims, many advocates are fully convinced that these legal and social procedures require the collective efforts of every citizen.

Recently, in Barbados, three women were violently murdered by their spouses, while in Trinidad two children have suffered hideous death at the hands of their parents. In addition there have been brutal murders of women, including a female teenager, in Jamaica. In all these instances, the perpetrators are males. Domestic violence has been defined as physical, emotional and psychological abuse by spouses; yet, hardly do we ever consider the devastating effects that children endure within these abusive environments.

The nature and content of domestic violence must be critically assessed from all angles within our society. We must continue to engage young people and children on its effects and ability to create further harm within their homes, communities, schools and society. Given the high levels of domestic violence, it is almost inevitable that many children are either witnesses or victims of these violent abuses.

Felicia Browne, Human and Gender Justice Advisor- from the Caribbean Mentorship Institute observes that “young Keyana Cumberbatch and baby Jacob Monroe from Trinidad should send a strong warning sign to other Caribbean societies, that child abuse and domestic violence are deeply connected. In many cases, these abuses are direct causes of domestic violence in which the child becomes the immediate victim physical harm, and even death. Domestic violence should no longer be seen only as a violation of an adult person, but a violation of children’s right to live in a peaceful and secure environment.”

Additionally, though gender justice assumes that all human beings, including children, have equal Human Rights, many children are left to suffer under the hands of their relatives or parents. We must continue to also engage our males in resolving these gender-based concerns given that the majority of perpetrators are young males. These types of gender-based crimes should be warning signs that there are troubling inequalities and ideological distortions that continue to exist within our region.

Browne adds that “we cannot eradicate violence against women and children without engaging our males. We can, however, begin the dialogue and create alternative solutions for them. Our norms have to change, our culture has to change, and our socio-political outlook has to change when dealing with gender-based violence and its associated concerns. The very way we nurture and socialize our males must begin to reflect our demand for social change. As parents, we must ensure that we demonstrate to our children, a responsibility in the way that we deal with issues in the home. We can show that intelligent and calm discussion will resolve an issue or concern with much better effect, than any act of violence. Or else how can we expect our children to know better? We cannot expect to violate our young males and expect that our sons will behave differently when dealing with their children, wives or spouses. The onus is on us, to change the shape of our homes, most importantly our attitudes towards our children- in particular our sons. Children’s Rights are Human Rights. Domestic Violence is a direct violation of their rights. We must begin to re-evaluate the nature of Domestic Violence and its detrimental role of child development, safety and societal peace.


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75 responses to “Domestic Violence and Children in the Caribbean”


  1. Men have been taught that “man is the master” of most things. Well. women are not “things”… objects, possessions, properties… She is not a slave to be WHIPPED with a LASH into submission or forced into obedience by the HAND of brute force. Some of us just need to RE-EVALUATE what it means to be a man, a woman, a family, a couple, a father, a mother, etc… Some just need a REMINDER that being gentle and nurturing are not signs of weakness. Some just need to learn how to channel stress, how to handle rejection, how to let go, how to live and let live… etc.

    BUT UNTIL THEY DO, the RULE OF LAW, cannot wait. LOVE, HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MEN THINKING THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH ABUSE AND MURDER! There has to be some CRIMINAL LESSONS in place to punish, rehabilitate, etc. while other government agencies work on the education piece, etc. There has to be a DETERRENT to committing domestic violence crimes and the police need monitoring and training. The women need safe places to go for counseling, housing, treatment, refuge, etc. where they can get help on “why they stayed” or whatever other concerns. The children need a program on respect and anti-discrimination run by schools or cultural agencies. The MIND of Bajans need re-programming. CHANGE IS CONSTANT.

    Characteristics of a Potential Batterer:

    • Jealousy
    • Controlling behavior
    • Quick involvement
    • Unrealistic expectations
    • Isolation of victim
    • Blames others for his problems
    • Blames others for his feelings
    • Hypersensitivity
    • Cruelty to animals or children
    • “Playful” use of force during sex
    • Verbal abuse
    • Rigid sex roles
    • Jekyll and Hyde type personality
    • History of past battering
    • Threats of violence
    • Breaking or striking objects
    • Any force during an argument
    • Objectification of women
    • Tight control over finances
    • Minimization of the violence
    • Manipulation through guilt
    • Extreme highs and lows
    • Expects her to follow his orders
    • Frightening rage
    • Use of physical force
    • Closed mindedness


  2. Yet no mention is even being mention of gay or lesbian relationships that involve domestic violence, they are enough that occur that should be of equal concern given that these relationships might be come matrimonial a reality and as of now some countries allowed gay lesbian relationships to adopt children.


  3. Also, you have Chad, a resident of Barbados, mentioning “HOT PUSSY WHORES” and I must ask if this phrase doesn’t at all resemble the traditional and commonly used phrase: “YUHZ A CUNT”??? If he had used that phrase and made the same statement suggesting “women are at fault” would the impact of his comment be more or less dramatic?

    view the link for Chad’s comment: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=679246992106962&set=a.379712502060414.89990.378528335512164&type=1&theater


  4. ac, …………I AGREE. That’s why I again think children being taught to HIT/VIOLENCE in general is the major concern. Whether it be parents giving WHIPPINGS or parents teaching children: IF SOMEONE HIT YOU, HIT THEM BACK. We all grow up READY TO FIGHT and these are the type of things that can happen, whether it be MEN AGAINST MEN, MEN AGAINST WOMEN, WOMEN AGAINST WOMEN, PARENTS AGAINST CHILDREN. The DIVIDE AND CONQUER mentality is a harsh one.


  5. BT

    Yes.


  6. Many of our children are emotionally damaged. Many do not understand relationships as they grow into adults especially the males. We have a lot of emotionally damaged people who are leaders, parents, teachers and professionals.


  7. @Ross

    To use your argument, so what is love?


  8. We must also understandi that we do not living in an ideal world and there is no such thing as an ideal family. Never before did I hear of a perfect family but perhaps you had but I certainly haven’t.

    You show me the perfect father or mother who haven’t made some mistakes in the process of raising they young ones and I’ll tell you that you’re not being truthful.

    Now, I must resort to the Hebrew Scriptures as an authority to validate the point I am going to make: ” The Bible tells us to Mark the perfect man/ woman.”

    You know, we have to consider that fact that even though most of us have the right intentions; we often fall short of those intentions because of our faults and failing that is attributory to our human nature.


  9. We clearly have good reason to be alarm because the evidence does shows that domestic violence is on the rise. But this does not mean in any meaningful way that we can’t work vehemently to change this unproductive behavior. At the same time though, we ought to bearr in mind that we’re not perfect by any stretched of the human imagination.


  10. @ Fenty
    I do not know where you live but find it incomprehensible that you cannot appreciate that greater independence among our women folk will make them less dependent on our men folk and hence there would be less opportunity for confrontation between them. To put it bluntly, there is a growing percentage of our women who have no reason to have domestic relationships with men ; a casual check on the occupancy of the several housing estates in the island would help you to appreciate my point . But as intimated earlier i have no intention of getting into any back and forth with you over what I have described as the barbaric practices that give rise to domestic violence .

  11. CHARLES S. CADOGAN SR Avatar
    CHARLES S. CADOGAN SR

    What I am about to say will cause some serious thinking. Many of us who were introduced to the BIBLE at an early age. And if we read this book that kept being revised to suit what’s called the times.
    In the BIBLE from GENESES we will see where thoughts of others has been placed in the minds of many towards to difference between MEN and WOMEN. From this book by the statement of a man were created, and a woman was made from the rib of the man, has been taken to a higher level in the minds of most men. In a few other parts of the BIBLE it was alright for a husband to speak to his wife about having another woman to have a son for him if she was unable to. Another part in the BIBLE states that when a man has work hard all day when he return home, his wife should meet him at the door with a basin of water to wash his feet and dry them with her hair.
    With all of this said and preach to men and women for many,many years, many of us as men has the mind set that the woman is lesser than we are. But again the BIBLE tells us that within all things are GOD.
    So if we don’t see the GOD that dwells within the woman,then the man shows the woman very little RESPECT.
    We cannot continue to cover up the mistakes that we make in life and do nothing about them. If men continue to play the inferior and superior card, then they will NEVER BE ANY CHANGE.
    I am not without any blame. But I have also learn that the way in which I thought that force resolved problems between a woman and I IS WRONG. Women aren’t object to be controlled by us or by anyone for that matter. If we are so GOD CONSCIOUS then see GOD also in the woman, to LOVE and RESPECT. When we were created a and given dominion over everything on this earth. It really wasn’t about controlling others, but being able to control SELF.
    I RESPECT ALL WOMEN, and all of GOD’S CREATIONS.

    I have NEVER given any of my children any harsh punishments either. Never cuss at them, or called them any names other that the names that were given to them. I have always shown my children LOVE, and did my best to help them to better themselves from my mistakes.
    I will walk away from any woman when I see that we cannot come to a mutual understanding. And if she chose to be with someone else, then so be it, she can go with my blessings.
    We as men has to learn how to let go, and understand that even when we sign on the dotted line that that person isn’t our possession. We can go on and on with this. But to resolve the problem we have to teach and practice what we teach or preach. Please don’t get it twisted,they are some domestic violence even within the church also, along with abuse.
    Men should be able to teach the younger generation that VIOLENCE SOLVES NOTHING, but will create A MUCH BIGGER PROBLEM.
    May the BU Family continue to be Blessed and Highly Favored by THE MOST HIGH.


  12. It may be of some significance too to note that the greater independence makes it more likely that women will object to violent interaction and hence the incidence of domestic confrontations will be more likely made public than in situations where the woman is almost totally dependent on the man and hence afraid to report publicly on any suffering she is made to endure. If you can accept this you should be able to understand why modern statistics might indicate a rise in the incidence of domestic violence. In addition you may also wish to consider that in former times a man was restricted to the use of some instrument that was readily available ; a whip, a piece of wood, a chair etc etc to beat a woman ; today the availability of more destructive things like guns when used will naturally attract greater abhorrence and wider publicity to acts of violence between domestic partners. This should not be difficult for you Fenty to appreciate in spite of your NY experiences.


  13. @ David
    What is love?
    *************
    Love is quite simply having the same care and regard for the loved one, …as one does for one’s self.

    Modern relationships (not only man -woman) are generally based on what individuals consider to be in THEIR own best interest.
    Women marry with specific goals in mind for themselves
    And men do likewise.
    …it is only obvious that there will be a clash – unless these goals are common….which they hardly are…then it is every person for themselves …..and while the men do HIT….. We all know of the nasty, underhand tactics that women can and do employ….

    What the hell is the difference between physical assault and a deliberate and targeted attempt to extract all of a man’s money/assets in an environment where material goods define success?
    BOTH Women AND men are equally guilty of the HATEFULNESS that leads to the kind of relationship violence that taints our society. They just do it in different ways…..

    Just like with our economic woes, GREED is the driver of this failing aspect of our societies…..


  14. Villager I totally agree and that the more independent a woman becomes a man becomes more violent with her. The control has been eroded so he must look for a stronger means of control hence greater violence.

    Men and women should understand that love is not control, you cannot beat someone to love you. Love is about respecting each other and accepting each others faults and recognizing that you cannot force a relationship to work and it takes two to make it work.


  15. “We all know of the nasty, underhand tactics that women can and do employ….”

    Bushie you are showing your bias again……are you saying that men don’t use nasty underhand tactics as well? And that justifies why men hit women? Bushie oh Bushie….you have so much to learn about women.


  16. Alcohol and drugs are the other components that leads to domestic violence.

    My father was also an alcoholic and whenever he drank he became mean. He stopped later when it was too late to save his marriage. Alcohol and drugs stunt the emotional development of people.


  17. “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”

    Mystery of mysteries, birthed by mothers (at least @ 2013) Hollywood nothwithstanding, we find ourselves at this point where

    (i) the same mothers marvel why their sons are disrespectful to women, when said mothers delight in their sons handsomeness and village ram practices, calling them hard seeds
    (ii) “if my man doan beat me, he doan love me” The thing is that many of the Social/Welfare departments don’t report all of the psychological abnormalities that they encounter when they encounter the face of the enemy
    (iii) children giving birth to children – 16 to 18 year old idjits, who want to “get breed, becausing dem friend got a baby” like babies is an I-phone, and we wonder what value systems a child can and will give to their offspring?

    Couple this with the filth on the airways that we, the big people on the censorship boards, make available to our youth en masse, the ubiquitous internet, filth on demand and we incredulously wonder why we are where we are

    Love, morals, ethics, respect are all anachronisms which have gone the way of the dodo bird, much like how the DLP has assassinated the memory of Errol Walton Barrow, we stand at the gate and see how these values are being eradicated.

    So on one blog people champion Ri-Ri and her “bi-bitch” chants and then wonder how the interpersonal relationships between males and females are being eroded.

    Now please dont misunderstand me, I am not saying that Rihanna Fenty is responsible for all of the ills of the world, it is by the slow, inexorable passage of waves beating ceaselessly on Oistins shoreline and Folkestone beach that, after years of batttering, the shoreline recedes and disappears like the once spendiferous Crane.

    “Love is not control” has to be echoed by mother, father, uncle, village, nation with the ease and repetitiveness of ” Under my Umbrella, ella, ella uh uh” and spousal beatings and abuse, (note that i did not say woman beating causing i can show you many a man whose wife/woman does beat he a$$), will, as this and other training, takes root to eradicate this problem.

    I got to go to the Feed my Sheeps tingy so i cant talk bout de alcohol etc and the Jekyllism that that breeds and the ensuing licks


  18. Exhibit A .BU where on a daily basis men would hurled verbal abuse at the female with whom they disagree. i am hardpressed not to belive that the same is carried over in their marriages or relationships at a much higher level. in essence the higher the monkey climbs the more he reveals his tail. Statistics would show that men who are actively abusive tend not to be able to control their feelings under stress and are overly emotional to the point of losing control such can been attributed to male posters


  19. @Bushie

    There is some merit in your position. Given the historical treatment of women it may seem natural to some that they have earned the right to interface with men and the world with a ‘chip’ on their shoulder.


  20. I am glad that the focus has shifted to love. I don’t think there’s less of it around or that interpersonal relationships have changed that much whether full frontal or by erosion as Pieceof seems to suggest. What I do think is that now all the warts in relationships are on the surface just as the so-called ‘sixties sex revolution’ heralded an openness about sex but did not redisocover kamasutra. Think of words like ‘control’ which 30 years ago no-one ever thought of as explaining an abusive relationship.

    Consider this ( especially BT) which I have heard many times in one context or another:

    “I got two fellas and I don know which to choose. Please advise.’ (sex or security?). Answer: you clearly don’t love either; why are you bothering?

    Then Pieceof’s remark about the reason why young girls have babies – essentially an attempt to validate themselves.

    Then ac’s remark about being beaten up on BU and consider whether some of us strong lusty rogues don’t carry the scars inflicted by her alone or in collaboration with ‘others’.

    David asked me “OK RR what is love?”. BT said it was caring for others as you do for yourself. He said this was “simple’ and so self-evident and there is some Gospel evidence for that position. Yet a person may be ‘loving’ to others and feel the compassion of Jesus and yet hate themselves. Think of the self-flagellation of the saints to punish themselves for sin and make themselves somehow more worthy. (Yes, it may be a kind of self-love or, if not that, self-absorption and most certainly self-indulgence. But is THAT ‘love’?) Think of the ‘ordinary’ man who carries his sense of guilt around with him like a lump of sin.

    There are so many things – which is why I didn’t want to jump in on this. But one thing I must say – and then no more.

    David’s question is false. ‘What is love?’ insinuates the kind of answer BT gave…’Love is…’ as if to say there is a one-to-one correspondence between words and things. words and concepts; as if to say that language is atomic and words have MEANING rather than perform as signs. It implies that there is a central core of meaning in concepts as disparate as ‘blue’, ‘fragrance’, ‘chair’, ‘justice’ or that there is some kind of ‘ideal’ out there to which all earthly instances must correspond.

    Yet think of my ‘love’ for my wife, my child, my son, my mistress, Jesus, Wagner, poetry, sex, my dog, my sheep whom I also feed. Are we using the word ‘love’ in the same way in each of these cases?

    So better to say ‘What can we say ABOUT this concept of ‘love? How do we regard it as expressing itself? How is the word USED in language (think of ‘I love it here’)?

    BT – I know what you will think and, of course, you’re right. But…..


  21. LOL @ RR
    ….deep and sweet!


  22. LOVE more tantazling and myterious .action of LOVE LOVE through the art of giving but how does one give LOVE when one does not LOVE themselves. In reality do we mortals able to express this wonder of all wonder in an unselfish way. Thats LOVE..


  23. beautiful dialogue. bless.


  24. I seed cowardly men lambasting women all the time in Bim.They say what they want – but always to females they be too coward to say it too a young fit man who just might cuff em in their fat mouths.
    it sure aint no mystery why their sons grow up into cowardly bullies too.


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