I would like to touch on a very important subject, which I must confess I too was a part of; female abuse. My parents broke somewhere between the ages of 8 and 10 years old. My mother after some years separated from my father got into another relationship. This guy was very quick with his hands. I can remember the first time he hit my mother I cried and wanted to do something really bad to him. On one occasion when they were going at it, I hit him in the back with a plant pot. One thing for sure that got him his attention from my mother.
As the years went on the fights continued but not as frequently. However I realised I had built up this hate to punish all women for what my mother had to suffer. I felt if I did the same to other women I got involved with it would be repayment for what my mother had to endure. When I turned 14 my mother told him he had to go. Guess he thought that he was so tough for all the years he told my mother it wasn’t going to happen. My mother grabbed him by his neck and the back of his pants and threw him out the door along with his clothes; My mother told him that it was over and she had enough of his mess.
Later on I asked my mother how come all these years why she allowed him to beat her up like he did and never did much of anything to defend herself. My mother told me, son I always thought that if I did what was in my heart to do to him, I would be in jail. I didn’t want to go to jail not knowing what would happen to you. But now you are everything to me, and all that matters. So I no longer need anyone else in my life. My mother was in her late forties early fifties and she never got involved with another man. She died at age 80 GOD rest her soul. I Love my mother with all my heart and she will remain with me for as long as breath remains in my body.
It took me some years to erase the mindset that beating women was the payback. This is not only about men in Barbados, but for all the men.
Mental and physical abuse towards women is WRONG, and should be dealt with in a severe manner by the law. Women do more for us at times than we do for ourselves as men. When you find it beyond your control to deal with that woman who you are involved with, walk away. A real man would walk away but only a fool like I was would beat them thinking that it would place fear into their hearts. A woman will take so much until she has grown tired of our BS and then all hell will break loose. So before this happens just walk away and don’t keep dwelling on what you have done for her, and the time you invested in the relationship. Nothing last forever, I am quite sure she has given even more to the relationship than you have.
Now this is something that if you as a man is honest to accept you will see what I am saying is worth it. If you have a mother who is still alive and is in a relationship, sisters or daughters and a man should put his hands on them, I am quite sure that you would be ready to take that man out one way or the other. Violence against women MUST STOP. These are times that things needs to become better for all and not remain the same. Women have and still are being abused, even on the job. I am sure that you know that most women doing the same job as a man don’t even get equal pay.
If you no longer have that love in your heart for your woman then allow her to grow without you being any longer acting like her slave master when you feel like it. Beating a woman will never change her. It will only create more hate towards you.
Guys get together and talk plenty of BS about how they run things in their homes. And even laugh at others who aren’t violent towards their women. These men are called soft or punks and to be accepted by their so called friends they become like their friends. Do not allow anyone to encourage you to be violent towards your woman. Your woman should be LOVED, RESPECTED, TREASURED, and TREATED LIKE THE QUEEN THAT SHE IS, if you are the KING OF THE CASTLE. These women are the mothers of your children who have to endure what you are doing to their mothers. If the violence towards women stop, the possibilities are endless as to how better this world can become.
Young men, take an old fool’s advice and STOP what you are doing wrong towards your women and also others. Your woman if she’s for real has your back even more than your so called friends. So why not treat her with the RESPECT that’s due to her as you respect your so called friends? No one should ever encourage anyone to do harm to anyone especially a WOMAN.
Bajan men show the world that you know how to really treat your women and become the leaders in the fight against FEMALE ABUSE. I hope that this contribution will open some eyes towards the problem of female abuse and help in some way to bring about change.
PEACE and LOVE to ALL!