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Don’t Blame Life, Blame The Way How You Live It

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Submitted by Bad Man Saying Nuttin (as a comment)

I will point out the elephant in the room. If you are poor for more than one generation it is because you want to be. Education has been free and available for many years. Information is available now more than ever. life is what you make it; “Don’t blame life , blame the way how you live it.”

People have to stop breeding without knowing how they are going to support children. Condoms are cheap. nothing is wrong with attempting to plan a life.

We have people who indiscriminately get pregnant 3 times before reaching 25 and then say life hard. We have men who even though gifted academically rebel against the “system” instead of using it (the education system) to their benefit and then blame government for their “poor situation.

There are lots of people who make a good living in Barbados; lots of civil servants, Private sector accountants, engineers, land surveyors, sales and marketing professionals, insurance professionals, programmers, all sorts of technicians, electricians, auto mechanics, bodywork specialists, plumbers , carpenters, masons, tilers hair dressers, caterers, dee jays, radio announcers , promoters, landscapers, chefs, fishing, farming. Too many people believe that they are owed something.

There is something for every one to do. Find an area that you like and work hard at it. Your success is up to you primarily. We in Barbados have so much going for us, We have so many opportunities that people from throughout the Caribbean flock here for our money making opportunities. We are developing a nation of mendicants and dependents who believe that you should be able to live like a millionaire while working as a clerk. Our parents didn’t take trips every year. You don’t need a 50 inch flat screen to watch TV. Because you went to your bosses house and saw a Jacuzzi and a flat screen in every room does not mean that you have to copy those features.

This is not an “accept your lot in life” or a people are born to their status argument. Uplift yourself, strive for better but most importantly live within your means.

Everybody can’t be rich, stop subscribing to the western ideals of materiality. try to be comfortable save a little, conserve your money and stop spending it on foolishness . Enjoyment in Barbados is cheap for locals. Nature is always there.

I have noted that young professionals working for $7, $8,000 monthly guard their spending much more than people at the lower end. I see girls working for small salaries killing themselves in the boutiques, new outfits for every show, new hair dos twice monthly , some even weekly.

WHAT HAPPEN TO COMMON SENSE? being frugal? discerning with your money?

Spending money is not about whether you can afford it; it is about whether you are getting value for your dollar.

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76 responses to “Don’t Blame Life, Blame The Way How You Live It”

  1. Johnny Postle Avatar
    Johnny Postle

    Why the blatant attacks and insults on an article that has pointed out some true facts relative to our society. But fail to provide a number of ‘poor’facts other than to say it is by choice, which lends bias. Is it not obvious that this article’s content is written generalizations? Come on people, let’s face it, we all are guilty of this type of writing, after all, is not most of the comments attacking the obvious weaknesses in BMSN ‘poor’ assumptions, not generalizations? I really do not think you need to substantiate matters of the poor with statistics (unless it is a scientific study for a specific purpose). After all we are sharing views and not necessary scientific research.

    From time in memorial, they have always been the rich and the poor. And what ever have led to the state of the two extremes is simply a matter of circumstance. Is it not a reality that when we are dead and dry up there will always be the rich and the poor; just like there will always be lies and the truth?

    BMSN has highlight some societal factors and have made some valid points so I really do not understand the attacks. You could summate many factors on this topic and still not exhaust it because many differnt pictures will still tell a different story.

    However we must be careful of our perceptions of the poor because many who are rich may ‘choose’ to live ‘poor’ whilst those who are poor may ‘choose’ to take on a ‘rich appearance’ (sounds alot like our so called middle class). Whatever are the CHOICES, it is my opinion (which I am generalizing here) that the underlying factor(s) remains circumstance and in some instances, not necessarily a matter of choice. e.g a poor man winning a 30 million dollar lottery (Gaw Blimah he got nuff choices because that money just change his circumstances for life) and a pHD student coming hot out of University who cannot get a job on the rock is forced into a poor state. Who then is rich and who is poor. A MATTER OF CIRCUMSTANCE.

  2. kiki Avatar
    kiki

    “Lonely Roads”

  3. ac Avatar
    ac

    @Johnny Postle

    What de hell did you just write?

  4. J Avatar
    J

    Bad Man Saying Nuttin wrote ” My parents would not have been able to send me to university unless the government paid tuition ”

    Dear Bad Man…

    Excuse me, buty the government did NOT pay your tuition.

    Your tuition was PAID BY THE TAXPAYERS of this country, including many like me who have not had the benefit of a university educaton.

    So don’t get so full of yaself, not yet.

    Wiat until you have had a sick child, or spouse or parent on your hands for a decade or more.

    That will cure you of talking nonsense about self-inflicted poverty.

  5. J Avatar
    J

    And tobesides Bad Man it is good to have children before the age of 25 (even 3 or more children) and with Barbados birth rate being 1.6 per woman over a lifetime, it is a good thing that some women decide to have 3 or more children. We should elevate those women to national heroine status instead of criticising them. Women between the age of 20 and 25 have healthier children than older women. Unhealthy children end up costing the the taxpayers and their parents a fortune.

    And beside you idiot REPRODUCTION is hard work. Mothers of young children are NOT idle slobs.

    Who do you think it is that creats and raises the work force for companies such as Williams Industries and the other big companies in Barbados.

    You think that young workers drop down out of the sky?

    No the hard working woman of Barbados , conceive, and work hard to raise these workers.

    You understand that by the time a young worker is delivered to a corporation that a MOTHER has been in labour, sometimes for more than 24 hours, has cooked nearly 15,000 meals (2 meals per day for 20 years), has given about 5,000 baths (that is assuming 2 baths per day until the age of 6) that she has combed and washed her children’s hair more that a thousand times (BMSN have you ever washed and combed a little black girl’s hair, do you know that that task can take an hour or more, you think that nicely cornrowed hair drops out of the sky?) laundered maybe 10 tons of clothes (sometimes on a juckking board) , made dozens of visits to the doctor or polyclinic, if she is a poor mother without a car that she has walked thousands of miles taking her children to and from school, that she has gone shopping many thousands of times, and that in most cases she has done all this while holding a full time job in addition to satisfying the sexual cravings of men like you when the night come.

    Why the ass don’t you get offa the backs of our young Bajan women, and let them do the REPRODUCTIVE work that nobody else can do.

    If young Bajan women don’t bear and rear children who do you think will reproduce our workforce and our society? You think that we can ship this reproductive work off-shore? you think that we can contract it out? or that “successful” old men and “sucessful” old women can do it??

    BMSN you are an unlearnted idiot.

    Get offa the backs of our hardworking working class women. This society CANNOT get by without their productive labour and their REPRODUCTIVE labour.

    J is back to remind you idiots that our lower class women are not irresponsible “breeders”. The are and have always been important contributors to the success of this society.

    Maybe we should take down Nelson and put in his place a statue of a working class Bajan mother.

    We all owe them.

  6. J Avatar
    J

    Dear Bad Man Saying Nutting:

    I’ve rewritten your statement for you. Don’t thank me. Thank your mother.

    “lots of civil servants (raised by working class single mothers) Private sector accountants (mostly raised by working class mothers) engineers (all raised by mothers, many of whom became mothers before the age of 25) land surveyors (raised by mothers) sales and marketing professionals (raised by mothers) insurance professionals (raised by mother, yes many of whom were mothers by the age of 20) programmers (ALL RAISED BY MOTHERS) all sorts of technicians (raised by mothers every single one) electricians (raised by working single mothers) auto mechanics (raised by mothers) bodywork specialists (raised by mothers) plumbers (o heck, mothers raise these too) carpenters (mothers) masons (mothers) tilers hair dressers (mothers at work again) caterers (looka mothers here too) dee jays (mothers at work again) radio annoucers (mothers at work) promoters (Mothers doing thier thing again) landscapers (mothers again) chefs (mothers raise chefs too) fishing (and fishermen) farming (I hear that mothers conceive, give birth to and raise farmers too, but maybe that is only a rumour)

    LET US TODAY RISE UP AND HONOR THE HARD WORKING MOTHERS OF THIS COUNTRY.

  7. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Talk yuh talk J … but don’t leave out the “mothers” who raise up criminals (of both the blue and white collar variety), good-for-nothing men, whores and pimps and useless twits that contribute little or nothing to society. All of dem got mothers fuh sure but in their cases maybe it is only de fathers to blame! Anyway what do I know, I only had a decent hard working mother …. and a decent hard working father (like the majority of working class Bajans).

  8. J Avatar
    J

    Anon I am not blaming fathers here although if you want a gender based argument I can give you one.

    But BMSN wrote “We have people who indiscriminately get pregnant 3 times before reaching 25” Even though he says people and not women, the last time I checked the term pregnant was in COMMON use ONLY with reference to women. So yes BMSN was ‘dissing POOR WOMEN because nobody complains when rich women get 3 or more children before the age of 25 and then withdraws from the productive workforce to raise them with significant help of a poor woman maid. But if a poor women gets 3 children, and raises them even while working hard as hell at a job people have a problem with poor women’s pregnancies.

    Tell me Anon and BMSN do you really think that all women should wait until they are rich before they start getting children?

    And if women defer child bearing until they are rich, then tell me please where will the corporations find their work force???

    I ent in na hurry ya can tek ya time finding the answer.

  9. J Avatar
    J

    Why is it considered ok for a poor woman to raise a rich woman’s children, and not ok for her to raise her own?

    We all know that even the richest people in this country were bathed by, fed by, dressed by, had their laundry done by, had their meals cooked by, were taught manners by, were taught to read and write by…yes by the same working class women that some people think are not good enough to raise children of their own.

    And we are ony talking gender and social class here.

    Do you want me to add race to the mix?

    Do you want me to add religion?

    My take on the matter is if poor women are good enough to raise other people’s children, then they are certainly good enough to raise thier own children.

  10. Avatar
    Anonymous

    I don’t (and can’t speak for BMSN) but here’s my take: this is a blog not a peer reviewed journal of sociology or whatever. BMSN has probably been too sweeping in his generalisations (as you have been as well) but hell he was only essentially (as I understand it) making the point that there are people who blame everyone and every other thing for their situation in life while refusing to assess the contribution of their own actions and omissions. I also believe that BMSN is also identifying the opportunities (e.g education) that the state has provided and bemoan those that fritter these opportunities away. My real concern not only with the original post but with some comments is that there is a tacit association of negative behaviour with working class people (and now you, with working class women specifically). This I believe is due to the use of the descriptor “poor”. This imprecise and pejorative word can and does mean different things to different people. BMSN does attempt to address the view that a “rich” life is one only of material bounty. He has stated that an enjoyable life “in Barbados is cheap for locals. Nature is always there”. So he rejects material acquisition as the sole measure of happiness and profoundly points to our environment as a more meaningful source of such. These are themes that could each occupy many pages of analysis. Give the guy a break he was voicing his opinion in a few short paragraphs not writing a thesis. I conclude by restating my “mindset”. Life is not fair but we each have to play the hand dealt to us. As to which women (and men) should ideally have children, in my simple view, healthy women (and men) who are aware of and ready to happily take on the responsibilities of raising a child or children. Ideally these women (and men) have a reasonable (realistic) understanding of these responsibilities. This characterization is not correlated to race, religion, economic status, or educational level. To quote myself from an earlier post: “Well I see much of the same negative behaviour and attitudes among scions of well off families with the same outcomes BMSN predicts”. And give us fathers a break. Most of us are trying and trying well. The women must agree, they keep coming back for more.

  11. J Avatar
    J

    Anonymous wrote in reference to BMSN “Give the guy a break he was voicing his opinion in a few short paragraphs not writing a thesis”

    And i was doing exactly the same. I’ve never written a thesis, I’ve never submitted an article to a peer reviewed journal. I’ve never graduated from a university. Since BMSN has told us that that MY TAX MONEY funded his education, then he OWES it to me to be more thoughtful. I want BETTER VALUE for my money.

    Oh and by the way my rural working class parents neither of whom went to school past the age of 12 raised 9 children (same marriage, same house) and ALL have turned out well. A good number of our Prime MInisters, opposition leaders, university professors, doctors, lawyers, engineers, accountants, etc CANNOT say the same.

    And my 8 siblings and I have raised 12 children all of whom have turned out well. 8 have graduated from university including many with graduate degrees, one is currently in university and the same is expected of the two younger ones. Of the three who are still works in progress 1 is at university and 2 are at older secondary schools. Neither my parents, nor my siblings nor I have graduated from any university.

    Working class people, and specifically black working class women have ALWAYS been the PRINCIPAL child raisers in this country. They raised their own, even while raising the children of the middle and upper classes. Tell me if I lie?

  12. J Avatar
    J

    If you come on this blog attempting to “beat-up” working class Bajan women, expect to “take some lashes” from me.

  13. J Avatar
    J

    And for the sheer fun of it I’ll repeat

    “Maybe we should remove Nelson and put in his place a statue of a working class Bajan mother. They deserve our respect and honour. We all owe them.”

    Can any Bajan honestly disagree with this statement?

  14. Avatar
    Anonymous

    @J

    no brothers?!! 9 girls! I notice you wrote about your “rural working class parents”. So Daddy was there for you just like most other working class Bajan families. Come on give we Bajan men a little scotch on de pedestal.

  15. J Avatar
    J

    I said siblings not sisters, There are brothers, who have all been good fathers to their now adult children. One brother has 2 daughters who have 4 degrees between them.

    I was blessed with the most wonderful father in the world.

    I LOVE MEN.

    Yes most of our men deserve a place on the pedastal. But hey!!!you guys already have the following statues, Nelson, Bussa, Adams, Walcott, Barrow, plus various busts ’bout the place, Walcott, Worrell, Weeks at UWI etc.

    I think that it is time that the women get one too. They deserve a statue.

    And ’nuff respect for their re-PRODUCTIVE WORK.

  16. Avatar
    Anonymous

    I was being facetious. Of course your brothers are good fathers, which is my point (among others) that I’ve been making all along. We (men) could always do better but we are doing our part. I want this damned myth of the “absent lousy working-class father” expunged from our psyches. Most of us are more than caring, protective and nurturing parents. Peace be unto you J!

  17. J Avatar
    J

    I want this damned myth of the “absent lousy working-class parents” expunged from our psyches.

    We are on the same page then.

    Peace to you too Anon.

  18. Negroman Avatar
    Negroman

    J,This is Negroman one of your harshest critic,I know we never agree on anything whatsoever,however,I must congratulate you on the tremendous work you have done to defend the dignity of poor,black working class mothers of Barbados from the nonsense Bad Man Sayin Nutttin posted.

    My poor very poor mother raised 8 children practically by herself with little or no support from the fathers and each & everyone of her 8 children have and are making a contribution to the development of Barbados.Not one of us ever had to go before the law courts,not one of us ever caused her any unnecessary grief and many of her grandchildren including Yours Truly son are attending university.

    Bad Man Sayin Nuttin,Your article stinks and it is very offensive to the efforts the poor working class black Barbadians mothers have done in producing some of the most productive & enterprising black Barbadians this country has produced as J has highlighted.

    J,Negroman says thanks for coming to defense of the poor working class black Barbadians mothers and for ripping the nonsense Bad Man Sayin Nuttin to shreds.

    Look at the nonsense students the University of the West Indies is producing.Bad Man Sayin Nuttin, you are a letdown to the high standards the University of the West Indies is famous for.

  19. J Avatar
    J

    Yes we often disagree Negorman and I expect that our disagreements will continue. But today we are on the same page.

    Peace.

  20. ac Avatar
    ac

    when you think of all theolder mothers who worked hard and long to help raised the family because father might have been a seaman and gone for long periods of time,and still was able to produce outstanding and respectable children.Some of these women had many children and even though they were POOr they were able to instilled respect and good moral standards in there children.

  21. Bad Man Saying Nuttin Avatar
    Bad Man Saying Nuttin

    J if you took the time to read carefully you would see that I praised the way Barbadians raised their children 30, 40, 50 years ago. They placed a premium on education and hard work even if they were the poorest of the poor as my grandparents were. This is increasingly not the case today.

    We are supposed to be more intelligent today than then so when I see people getting children that they are ill equipped to feed, raise or educate and then blaming government for their plight I cannot be sympathetic. While men must share in the blame for indiscriminate and unwanted pregnancies, a woman should have the final say with her body. In this day and age she should insist on a condom or some form of contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Today is International Women’s Day and I say congratulation to all womanhood. Continue to empower yourselves. The choice is yours.

    You seem to have an agenda. If you are concerned about how your tax dollars are being spent then you should be even more worried about the numbers who drop out of UWI after costing the taxpayer thousands of dollars. You should be even more worried about those who dropped out of high school or who wasted their time there. You should be concerned about those who make use of the taxpayer’s hospitality at Dodds. And as for your tax dollars educating me, well my tax dollars will educate somebody else and I don’t want those resources to be squandered or inefficiently utilised.

    My criticisms don’t fall on those hardworking prudent women out there who are struggling to stay afloat while keeping their dignity and pride. They fall on the ones who have never worked a day and don’t intend to. The ones who are living on welfare and raising children who will raise children who will live on welfare. The ones whose children will live on the block never having a productive day in their life. The ones who getting their utilities paid by the tax payer and gambling and feting out the child support money or the welfare checks. The ones who feel that the taxpayer owes them a living because society and the system treated them unfairly.

    If you can’t see that Barbados is developing a welfare culture, one of mendicancy, entitlement and handouts then what I have written will always bother you. There is none so blind as those that will not see.

  22. kiki Avatar
    kiki

    International Women’s Day is a good day to argue about women’s contributions to society
    Strong Love

  23. Bad Man Saying Nuttin Avatar
    Bad Man Saying Nuttin

    Any day is a good day to share opinions. I don’t need a day to tell me that I should treat my girlfriend/wife/mother/sister with respect and should be grateful for the contributions they have made. I am equally grateful to my father/grandfather/brothers. I treat all people I meet with a basic level of respect. If nothing else they are human and deserve at least that.

  24. J Avatar
    J

    BMSN wrote “We are supposed to be more intelligent today”

    There is no evidence to show that human intellegence can channge much in a generation or two.

    BMSN wrote “You seem to have an agenda”

    My only agenda is reason.

    But isn’t it true BMSN that politicians, still mostly male cultivate dependence, because the perception is (or maybe the relaity) that dependent people will vote for Mr. X because they are so grateful for the pittance that he has provided.

  25. ac Avatar
    ac

    @BMSN

    Maybe you can redeem yourself by writing a new article about the people who have an entitlement mentality.

  26. raymondaustin Avatar
    raymondaustin

    One thing is for sure and that is as in Adam …all die!

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