Will Men Speak out Against Domestic Violence?

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Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and therapist. She lives in US

To prevent and stop violence against women, men in every country on planet earth need to stand up and speak out. Males of all races, religions, and cultures. Married, single, or partnered males. Politicians, police, and preachers. Young, middle-age, or elderly. Males from all socioeconomic backgrounds. All males—everywhere.

Mothers, sisters, and daughters are victims of domestic violence. Wives, live-in partners, and girlfriends are victims of domestic violence. Relatives are victims of domestic violence. Neighbors are victims of domestic violence. Teenagers are victims of dating violence. Children are victims of family violence.

Throughout history it’s been women at the forefront for change at the grassroots level as they marched for police, the courts, and the government to pass and enforce laws to prevent and intervene in family violence.

Where are the male voices? Why aren’t men involved in preventing domestic violence? Will men listen to men?

Now, when it comes to men and male culture, the goal is to get men who are not abusive to challenge men who are,” proclaimed Jackson Katz at TEDxFiDiWomen. He continued, “We need more men with the guts, with the courage, with the strength, with the moral integrity to break our complicit silence and challenge each other and stand with women and not against them.

Journalist for The Guardian, Anna Moore interviewed Patrick Stewart (Star Trek’s Captain Picard) and the Hart brothers at a 2018 domestic violence charity event before they took the stage to speak. Moore asked why these three men are speaking out.

Why? “Because domestic violence is a man’s problem…We are the ones who are committing the offences, performing the cruel acts, controlling and denying. It’s the men,” Patrick Stewart commented after sharing that his father abused his mother.

Why? “To tackle domestic abuse, you need to look at masculinity,” Luke Hart asserted. “Our father’s need for control came from his beliefs on what it means to be a man. I think most men – like me, before this happened – don’t realize how dangerous it is.” In 2016 in a small town in England, Lance Hart shot Claire, his wife, and 19-year-old daughter Charlotte, four days after the women had left him. Both died. Ryan and Luke Hart have become advocates against domestic violence.

Resource

A CALL TO MEN is internationally recognized for training and educating men to embrace and promote a healthy, respectful manhood.  The organization’s approach is grounded in the social ecological model, advocated by the Centers for Disease Control, as a framework for primary prevention of gender-based violence.

A CALL TO MEN partners with schools, universities, corporations, government, social service agencies, military installations, communities to end all forms of violence and discrimination against women and girls.

A CALL TO MEN educates men all over the world on healthy, respectful manhood.  Embracing and promoting a healthy, respectful manhood prevents violence against women, sexual assault and harassment, bullying and many other social ills.

A CALL TO MEN is a violence prevention organization and respected leader on issues of manhood, male socialization and its intersection with violence, and preventing violence against all women and girls. www.acalltomen.org.

Men that live on all continents in every country and in every home need to speak out both personally and publicly against domestic violence. Men need to speak to men. Fathers need to speak to sons. Now is the time for a planet-wide movement: Men Against Domestic Violence.

Men, are you listening?

Greater Protection of Children

Submitted by Felicia Browne

The Domestic Violence Act ensures greater protection of victims. In many cases, children and vulnerable members of the household are caught between the disputes of their parents or family members. Though, domestic violence has continued to remain a major concern for children’s rights activists, such concerns include the vulnerability of children during violent disputes. Children, like many vulnerable persons, are at greater threat primarily due to their inabilities to protect themselves from physical and bodily harm.

The need for greater protection of children in domestic disputes should be given full consideration of the law. Children have been known to have suffered severely through the various acts of sexual and physical harm; and in some cases even death by the hands of parents or family members. Felicia Browne applauds the police force and community members for the immediate intervention which have saved the life of the young child. She adds that domestic violence is a still a very serious concern for many of our societies. We have continued to observe the detrimental effects of Domestic Violence on the victims and their families.

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MESA, Stop Squabbling, NOW!

Submitted by William Skinner
Ralph Boyce, head of MESA

Ralph Boyce, Head of MESA

It is understandable, that Mr. Ralph Boyce, unlike many of his counterparts, who would have opted for a retirement of leisure, has chosen to utilize his vast skills to better the society. He has been attempting with some moderate success to do so via the Men’s Educational support Association (MESA). I compliment Boyce on his efforts because in our class based society, we find retirees of Boyce’s ilk hanging out in church groups; service clubs and other more “acceptable “organizations. Seldom do they engage themselves in organizations that are attempting to rid the society of known prejudices or injustices. Men in our society have huge psychological hurdles to overcome; one major challenge is accepting that the modern woman is not their beloved mothers or grandmothers. Unfortunately, MESA has become the dwelling place for men who need psychologists more than they need MESA.

Within this organization, there are men who honestly believe that they have been wronged by women. Well I have news for them: Within the National Organization of Women (NOW), there are women who believe that they have been wrong by men! The mistake that Boyce has made is that he has allowed himself to be drawn into public squabbling with some females, who find the direction of MESA troubling. I honestly cannot blame them. His followers are therefore of the belief that MESA should be concerned mainly with pointing out how bad women are and how men have suffered at their hands. Such an approach is doomed to absolute failure.

One of the recurring topics at MESA is the unfaithfulness of women to men who have been good to them. In other words: If men give food clothing and lodging, a woman is supposed to prove her gratitude by being faithful.

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Men MUST Protect Our Womenfolk from the Scourge of Domestic Abuse

Submitted by the Mahogany Coconut Think Tank and Watchdog Group
Domestic abuse a scourge

Domestic abuse is a scourge mainly perpetrated by men

Once again, the self appointed guardians of our society are looking for scapegoats, to blame for the dramatic increase in domestic violence. They are attempting to blame women for being murdered by jealous, possessive men, who believe that in many instances, economic dependence by these women is a pathway to maiming and killing them at their pleasure! Misinformed groups such as MESA (Men’s Educational Support Association) are doing a great disservice to our country by trivializing domestic violence. Any humane society should have a zero level tolerance policy on domestic violence and there should be a special court to bring these cannibals, who are liquidating our women folk, to justice with great speed.

The Mahogany Coconut Group has called for progressive legislation that will give state agencies and our police greater legal rights in dealing with instances of domestic violence. Our calls have fallen on deaf ears and blind eyes. We are not surprised. When we peruse the media and observe those who have been promoting themselves as the guardians of our abused women, we see the same faces: a combination of political aspirants and those who take up causes simply to get their names in the papers and faces on the lone television station. They have appointed themselves as an elite group, whose only qualifications are some connection, to the rambling political management class also known as the Barbados Labour Party/ Democratic Labour Party.

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Domestic Violence and Children in the Caribbean

Human and Gender Justice Advocate - Felicia Browne

Felicia Browne – Human and Gender Justice Advisor Caribbean Mentorship Institute – CMI

November 25, 2013, was designated as International Day for the Eradication of Violence against women and girls. Secretary General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-Moon, exhorted everyone to “Break the silence. When you witness violence against women and girls, do not sit back. Act.” However, since the 25th, we, in the Caribbean region, have witnessed an upsurge of violent acts of abuse against women and children, mainly in domestic contexts.

In many Caribbean societies, there is an aim to primarily focus on their victims and the nature of their deaths, rather than the deep and fundamental causes of these inhumane acts against human life. Many of these victims are women and children, some of whom were known to be victims of continual abuse or violence within their respective communities. In such human tragedies, it is very alarming that in many of these cases, children are involved –whether directly or indirectly. As we continue to implement effective legislation to try to protect the human and civil rights of these victims, many advocates are fully convinced that these legal and social procedures require the collective efforts of every citizen.

Recently, in Barbados, three women were violently murdered by their spouses, while in Trinidad two children have suffered hideous death at the hands of their parents. In addition there have been brutal murders of women, including a female teenager, in Jamaica. In all these instances, the perpetrators are males. Domestic violence has been defined as physical, emotional and psychological abuse by spouses; yet, hardly do we ever consider the devastating effects that children endure within these abusive environments.

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