On Barbados Underground (BU) we discuss many issues, mostly serious issues, here is your chance to let off some steam by sharing anything you think is funny.
Jokes Corner
1 minute
331 responses to “Jokes Corner”
-
-
Real talk….lol
-
Gynecologist’s Assistant:
A retired man went into the Job Center in Oistins and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist’s Assistant.
Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.
The clerk pulled up the file and read;
“The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they’re ready for the gynecologist’s examination.The annual salary is $65,000, and if you are interested you’ll have to go to Pie Corner, St. Lucy.”
“Good grief,” the man asked, “Is that where the job is?”
“No sir . . . that’s where the end of the line is right now.” 😂 😃😂
-
Donald Trump has the misfortune of meeting Little Johnnie:
Donald Trump was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a grade four class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr. Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word ‘tragedy.’ So he asked the class for an example of a ‘tragedy’.
One little boy stood up and offered: “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” said Trump, “that would be an accident.”
A little girl raised her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explained Trump. “That’s what we would call great loss.”
The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Trump searched the room.”Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath.
In a quiet voice he said: “If the plane carrying you was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” exclaimed Trump, “That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says Johnny, “It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss… and you can bet your sweet ass it wouldn’t be an accident either!”
The teacher left the room.. -
and i do not know why we continue to make a fuss over these issues to no avail; no less a person than our former honourable Prime Minister did advise the electorate to take the money which can be deemed a bribe if offered for a vote.
-
-
A. Holder, small BDS chicken farmer 👩🌾 wanted to keep some of his hard earned money from his wife. He decide to pluck $1000 from the loot and buried it beneath one of de mango 🥭 trees on de farm. A. Hole grab his 35mm camera & took a picture of de location because of bad memory.
Two weeks later A. Hole went to de store and picked up de pictures. When he got home his wife was cleaning de house. A. Hole went in de toilet to look at de pics. While shuffling through he saw de one with de Mango tree and a parrow looking down laughing 😂
A. Hole was already in de right place…????
-
Cheap medical test
Mr. Smith goes to the doctor’s office to collect his wife’s test results. The lab tech says to him, “I’m sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife’s. Frankly, that’s either bad or terrible.”“What do you mean?”
“Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer’s disease and the other for AIDS. We can’t tell which is your wife.”
“That’s terrible! Can we do the test over?” asked Mr. Smith.
“Normally, yes. But you have an HMO, and they won’t pay for these expensive tests more than once.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do now?”
“The HMO recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town. If she finds her way home, don’t sleep with her.” -
so a guy walks into a pet store and sees a parrot for $50 Standing next to the cage the man asks, “I wonder why he’s so cheap?”
“Because I am defective,” came the reply. “I’ve got no legs.”A little surprised the man asked, “Well how do you stay on your perch?”
The parrot draws him closer and whispers, “I have a big penis. I just wrap it around the bar and stay put. Go offer the owner 30 bucks for me. He’ll take it.”
The man walks out of the store with the parrot and takes him home. They become best of friends. They talk sports, politics, current events. The man could not be happier. One day the man gets home from works and the parrot beckons him over with his wing…
“Psst…come here. I need to talk to you.”
“What?”
“It’s about your wife.”
“Yeah, what about her?”
“And the postman. Today he knocked and she answered the door in a skimpy black negligee.”
“What!”
“Yes. And then they embraced in a long passionate kiss,” the parrot went on.
“Holy shit…that can’t be possible.”
“It is. Then they went over to the couch and she slipped him out of his uniform and then things started to get really steamy.”
“Well,” the man asks,”what happened next?”
“I don’t know,” said the parrot. “I got a hard on and fell off my perch. -
Q: How can you tell if someone is homosexual?
A: Their dick smells like shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUAwTln7HtI -
Sorry that was a false start, here comes the original start
Q: How can you tell if someone is homosexual?
A: Their dick tastes* like shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWfXdoO9nSE -
Q: Why did God invent the Orgasm?
A: So Blacks would know when to stop fukking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2-hNk6UFuE -
Looks like someone is cloning another
-
Sunday school teacher: Who killed Goliath”
–vid
Pupil: Covid?
-
Good one Simple LOL
-
I remember this from my days in Barbados. Judging from Simple’s joke, we have not far past this srtage.
Teacher: Anyone here ever made love to a ghost?
Johnny (no relation to SS) raises his hand.
Teacher: Don’t be ridiculous, there is no such thing as a ghost.
Johnny: You said ghost, I thought you meant a goat. -
Pillow fights going pro
FLORIDA – Pillow fighting is moving out of the bedroom and into the boxing ring when Pillow Fight Championship (PFC) holds its first live, pay-per-view event in Florida on January 29.
Steve Williams, the man with the dream of turning childhood horseplay into a professional combat sport, said PFC delivers all the drama of handto- hand combat without the gore of mixed martial arts or boxing.
“It’s not something where you sit there and laugh and feathers are flying,” Williams, chief executive officer of PFC, told Reuters. “It’s serious. It’s hardcore swinging with specialised pillows.”
Although the male and female competitors in January’s event mostly hail from the cut-throat worlds of MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) and boxing, children will still sleep soundly after seeing the three-round bouts.
“The only difference between our fights and MMA fights is that nobody gets hurt,” he said.
“The fighters don’t like to get hurt, and there’s a lot of people who don’t want to see the blood. They want to see good competition, they just don’t want to see the violence.” The fact that so many people grew up bashing their siblings, friends and parents with pillows makes the sport relatable, which he hopes will help tap into a new audience.
“You can call it an alternative sport, but we think it’s going to have mainstream appeal,” he said.
“Think about how they mixed country music with rap music and brought these diverse audiences together. That’s what we’re doing, and we hope it brings in a different kind of viewer.” (Reuters) -
Made this up all by myself
Three lawyers enter into hell and the devil said “My dear fellows, tell me why you deserve to enter here”.
The first lawyer said ” I am a thief and I killed my wife”
Devil says “Say no more, enter in”
Second lawyer said “I swindled my partner and cheated on my wife”
Devil says “Say no more, enter in”
Third lawyer said “I had a great practice in Barbados, and
Devil interrupts him and says “Stop. Say no more, enter in”. -
Little boy on nudist beach ask mummy why all the woman got bigger boobs than she
Mummy say “is because they silly now go away ”
Later little boy come back and ask “why all the men got a bigger wullie than Daddy” Mummy say
“is because dey dumb” Later little boy come back to mummy and say “Mummy, Daddy talking to the silliest lady
on the beach and he getting dumber and dumber” -
I did not realize that David had created a special section just for WI cricket “Jokes Corner”. The blogmaster must be complimented on this initiative and on his farsightedness.
My desire to start every day on a positive note was dampened by the following
“This was the fifth test to tour SA by the West Indies, leaving them with 14 defeats and one win in 17 matches.
1998-1998 5-0
2003-2004 3-0 in 4 tests
2007-2008 2-1
2014-2015 2-0 in 3 tests
2023-2023 2-0Thank God for Nelson Mandela or an all-white South African team would be kicking our butt and saying that the game is proof of racial superiority.
These jokers need to stay at home and play beach cricket and do double duty as beach bums.
Hopefully, I can now be positive.
-
WEST INDIES WIN 1st ODI….no joke.
Shai Hope 128* trumps Temba Bavuma 144 as West Indies seal victory
Akeal Hosein and Alzarri Joseph impressed on a slow pitch to subdue South Africa
-
Hants you fell for it. The next match scores are as follows:
South Africa 1000 for 1 wicket
West Indies all out for 3.Your spirit will be crushed and your heart ripped out.
Don’t expect sympathy from me.
Here’s the new them song for you and the WI -
If the team stays at home how will it get international exposure in order to improve?
The blogmaster invites you to join the discussion.