Parental Alienation Barbados is Unchecked Emotional Abuse

 

Kammie-Holder

Submitted by Kammie Holder, Fathers & Parents for Justice

Great communicators all know, when, how and where to speak. Not all pronouncements need a response for to respond is to give credence. However, there comes a time when you see the weak crying out and you are compelled to act as an emotionally strong individual, to do what comes natural. But don’t blame me, blame residents of Clinketts Garden, Church Village and Cliff Tenantry for my socialization stance against wickedness, deceit and injustice.

Therefore, after taking a step back in raising concerns about the emotional abuse and emasculation of good non threatening fathers within our system I am moved by many recent complaints. Let me in all fairness say men have been reporting a considerable change in attitudes from the courts. No longer am I getting complaints of, I don’t want to hear from you, let me hear the woman from men appearing in courts. The government did spend money on emotional intelligence and sensitivity training to ensure the public does not loose confidence in the court system. You would have thought the attorneys who depend on a living doing these highly emotional and contentious maintenance and access matters would have gotten the memo titled ” In the best interest of the child.”

Unfortunately, some attorneys who work in the family courts have not gotten this memo, and  are behaving like self serving financial mercenaries, ignoring the option of mediation while manipulating these issues, for another pay day at the expense of children.

  • Who really cares about non threatening supportive fathers names deliberately omitted from school registration form? Not the Ministry Of Education.
  • Who cares about how soft courts are on women who breach orders? Not the courts.
  • Who cares about the malicious protection orders taken out yearly? Not the police.
  • Who cares about the emotional abuse of children alienated from their fathers. Not the mothers or schools.
  • Who cares about the father who cannot attend form level meetings? Not the form teachers.
  • Who cares women testimony in these matters is always seen as gospel and men are suspect? Not the courts.
  • Who cares about the agreed amendment to the Maintenance Act of Support In Kind becoming law? Not the AG or members of parliament.
No one cares until dysfunctional behaviours sets in and we react by sending these kids to Edna Nichols or Dodds.

If the government really wants to save money it needs to look at the removing of Maintenance and Access issues from Legal Aid to dissuade mercenary attorneys from abusing system.

Much confusion is created when these matters go straight to the precincts of the adversarial courts where they become a blood sport for lawyers seeking to score points and drawn out pay days.  This government also needs to do right thing by the children and accept the recommended amendment to the Maintenance Act of Support In Kind, automatically the resistance by some selfish  parents to co-parent and allow access to other parent becomes a non issue.

Why do we allow the antagonist feminist who seeks to create the same inequality and gender bias they complain about to persist on a road of mischief? If our children are our future, courts, social workers and Child Care Board must not only utter, in the child’s best interest as a mantra, but must also act in the child’s best interest and not in the interests of weeping mothers. Parental Alienation in Barbados is real and it destroys children emotionally and leads to societal dysfunction for generations to come. The erasing of another parent from the life of a child is not only criminal is now cited by some countries as a criminal act.

Men are hurting and are feeling ignored and let down by a gynocentric society. How much longer will the Attorney General ignore the need for Support In Kind? Someday, we will be mature enough as a democracy to stop make gynocentric public pronouncements that the family court will make it better for women!

32 comments

  • @Kammie Holder “If the government really wants to save money it needs to look at the removing of Maintenance and Access issues from Legal Aid to dissuade mercenary attorneys from abusing system.

    My response: Nope. I don’t agree with this. How can if help to deny one parent legal assistance, when the other parent may have the means to hire the best lawyer? Two wrongs do not make a right.

    @Kammie Holder “This government also needs to do right thing by the children and accept the recommended amendment to the Maintenance Act of Support In Kind.”

    I agree with this.

    Some of the BU intelligentsia think that I hate men. Not so. I love men, women and children. I want to see all families do well. Back in the day when I was the parent of young children a father told me that he never knew when PTA and form level meetings etc are being held, because his estranged wife did not tell him. I asked him “why are you waiting for her to tell you? Since your name is on the children’s birth certificates, go to the principal and let it be know that you wish to be informed.” Easy so. Done deal.

    Children are NOT the property of either parent. Children are their own selves. ALL PARENTS need to stop behavng as though they OWN their children.

    We do not give life. We do not create life. Life is not a gift from us. Life is transmitted through us, that’s all.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Valerie-Suzette Jean-marie neé Steele

    The child of Parental Alienation suffers well into adulthood.

    Unscrupulous persons Surbir Gogar-Singh a UK Citizen and Desiree Regis-Alleyne have alienated me further from my father and now my family, by fraudulently stealing my father’s body from the Queen Elizabeth Hospital.

    Ivan Hugh Walters the ex Chief Magistrate of Antigua, now head of the legal team of the QEH has got his band all over this one. Did he accept a bribe?

    My lawyer Vonda Pile filed a caveat for me on 3rd May 2019, and 1 month later, 4th June 2019 she was put in prison for three years, for apparently fraud that had been pending for 10 years. What a coincidence? Just saying!

    Could there be a connection?

    The lawyer in England who drew up this document that they are trying to call a Last Will and Testament, has been fined £12,500 for money laundering and £9,100 costs.

    The address that they say that my father was living at, land registry UK have emailed me and stated that he did not. Of course he did not, he lived at the same address for over 30 years.

    His bank account in the UK, someone tried to impersonate him in 2016.

    His bank account in Barbados was being used by ATM up until June 2019, when it was I that notified them of my father’s passing.

    On my father’s funeral pamphlet, ELLIOT BOVELL was named as a Pall-bearer. Well, he dies not know my dad, and he was not at the funeral.

    Why is it that an Inspector Elliot Bovell and his wife the Magistrate Laurie-Ann Smith-Bovell obstructed me from changing me from changing the locks at my father’s house in St Philip?

    How is it that Laurie-Ann Smith-Bovell now a newly appointed Judge at the Supreme Court of Barbados has changed her name to Hyacinth Bovell on Facebook when I caught her colluding with Desiree Regis-Alleyne and discussing the gold pocket watch that I given my dad 30 years ago and had engraved “Love is Timeless . . . X x x” upon it.

    What possessed them to feature it on Facebook when I respectfully asked them for it back?

    Is Inspector Elliot Bovell in charge of District C Police Station? Could this be the reason why District C will not look into the matter, and are exceptionally rude to me.

    I am my father’s child. The only legitimate child if Mr and Mrs Ishmael Steele.

    No you can not keep information from me. How dare you plan his funeral and bury him in haste without his family.

    I am an adult child of Alienation.

    I am, and I will speak out.

    Desiree Regis-Alleyne that works at the Electoral and Boundaries Commission in Warrens, and who has access to the sensitive data and information of Barbados, I put all agencies on alert.

    To Surbir Gogar-Singh British Citizen who runs Wireless Vision Limited in the UK and who put cameras up around my fathers house in St Philip so that you can watch him from London:

    How dare you use your expertise from your mobile repair shop to extract data from my father’s mobile phone and from his laptop?

    How dare you tell the world that you were like a son to my dad?

    You an opportunist! It is going pear-shaped, as I have investigated you all by myself and I am handing over all the files of evidence.

    Ivan Hugh Walters: The medical records that you tried so desperately to prevent me from seeing, clearly states that there was no proof of a Last Will and Testament. Why would you hand my father’s body to these strangers ?

    My father categorically requested that Desiree Regis-Alleynes hould not be given keys to his house so how is it that she is now stating that my father gave her verbal messages?

    What is this foolishness?

    Concluding as I started: Parental Alienation is a serious topic BARBADOS, and one that is long-lasting and one that can leave a family broken. Fragments in families can lead tthem susceptible to International Financial Elderly Fraud.

    Sending Love . . . x x x

    Like

  • Do you have an address or name of a company for Mr Singh? Forget the Land Registry in the UK, do you have a UK address for your dad? Try the electoral register, and/or the credit agencies, Experian. Is the death registered with the UK’s Inland Revenue and DWP?
    You are right about Vonda, she was fitted up in my view. Unfortunately, a lot on BU can only see the alleged fraud she was accused of, they seem not to understand that even in Barbados people can use half-truths to trap someone. She was indeed found guilty in a court of law. But so have many black people in the Southern US, Apartheid South Africa and racist UK.
    Concentrate on Mr Singh and getting the story in the UK press..

    Like

  • kammie,

    I can almost feel your pain. This bias towards the testimony of the woman is a real thing. I have had that complaint from a sibling. The mother of his child used to hang the court over his head for fun. Always she was threatening to take him back to court for an increase if she did not get whatever she wanted whether or not it was reasonable.

    Last time she did so the magistrate was treating her word as gospel and totally depriving my brother of the opportunity to respond in any meaningful way. He actually started lecturing my brother based solely on her word without any response from my brother.

    Well, our DNA would never let such a thing happen unanswered and so my brother put the jackass magistrate in his place. And how do I know the man is a jackass ? I had dealings with him as a best friend of a boyfriend. Total jackass!

    Fortunately when the child turned sixteen she, carrying our DNA confronted my brother about his so called neglect. He was able to tell her specifically of all the times he forwarded up money to her that was not even ordered by the court. Then he had to remove one of his spare beds from my house to his so that she could spend time there. Some day the truth will come to light. Your child will know you cared. Keep all your documentation and even the presents, wrapped up in paper and addressed if you don’t get to give them to her. Keep on fighting and stand up to the magistrates. It is not as hard as you think.

    Liked by 1 person

  • @Donna, we are all on borrowed time while on earth thus only death will silence me from speaking against the evil of Parental Alienation Syndrome.

    Jail is never a concern with persons who have a strong cause thus even that threat will not stop me, for bodies are caged but minds are free to wander. Sometimes the best thing that happens to persons fighting for a case is going to jail, it helps to magnify the cause.

    Liked by 1 person

  • This country really needs a radical change; it is the only way to cause change. As Patrick Emanuel and Beryl Macburnie in 1970 in Trinidad exhorted the students “to arms to arms”. I can see the scene as though it were yesterday: the excitement, the yells and the crowd. This is needed here.

    Like

  • @Silly Woman, how do we get rid of the exploitation of Legal Aid by this core group of Legal Mercenaries who manipulate these situations just for another payday at the expense of the best interest of the child.

    Like

  • I did not wish to suggest it but I was thinking that being held in contempt and jailed could do just that. It would definitely draw some attention. Are we jailed for contempt of court in Barbados or fined?

    My uncle was threatened with a fine some years ago and his response was “Wuh dah cyan kill me!” He would not be silenced. And he wasn’t even fined. They tend to threaten and back down when legitimately challenged. They don’t really want scrutiny.

    Though jailing would magnify your cause a fine would serve no purpose put to punish you further.

    Like

  • Kammie,

    And write your daughter letters. Pour out your heart to her. One day she will read them when her mother no longer controls what gets to her. And she will know that you loved her and fought to be in her life.

    Like

  • Hal AustinFebruary 12, 2020 9:33 AM

    You are right about Vonda, she was fitted up in my view.

    ++++++++++++++++

    I PAID VONDA PILE TO WRITE A LETTER IN A MATTER FOR ME. SHE REQUESTED FURTHER INFORMATION. i HESITATED BECAUSE IT INVOLVED A FAMILY MEMBER AND I WAS CONFLICTED AS TO WHETHER OR NOT TO PROCEED. SHE WAITED FOR A FEW WEEKS AND THEN FORWARDED THE LETTER TO ME MINUS THE EXTRA INFORMATION FOR ME TO DO WHATEVER I CHOSE,

    IN THIS INSTANCE I WAS THE HOLD UP. BUT VONDA DID NOT WAIT. SHE DID WHAT SHE WAS PAID TO DO DESPITE MY HESITATION.

    I REMAIN SURPRISED THAT SHE IS CAUGHT UP IN THIS MESS. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO THINK BUT FROM ALL REPORTS SHE ALWAYS FOUGHT HARD FOR HER CLIENTS.

    Like

  • Kammie,

    Is this Fathers and Parents for Justice group open to the general public and well wishers? I would like to help you. I am not a stranger to you. I also think it is a very important cause.

    Like

  • @ Donna

    Vonda comes from Deacons and was (is) very proud of it. She was disliked by many in the courts. The allegation of fraud was just an excuse to drive her out of the legal profession, however legitimate it was. Apart from Pilgrim, have you seen the behaviour of the profession?
    Years ago I was at the home of a prominent Barbadian having a quiet drink. During the day h was in court as a prosecution witness in a robbery and Vonda had appeared in court representing someone. His remarks were very hostile, and that coming from a normally decent man. I did not let him know that I had met her.
    Vonda was representing the late Trevor ‘Job’ Clarke in his battle with the Nation newspaper. It was a tough battle.

    Like

  • Valerie-Suzette Jean-Marie

    @Kammie Holder
    Keep doing what you are doing? Bringing awareness is the seed to change . . . X x x

    Like

  • Valerie-SuzetteJean-Marie nee STEELE

    @Hal Austin
    @Donna

    I have all the evidence to substantiate my allegations.
    There is a wall of silence.
    They are renting out my father’s house illegally and Desiree Regis-Alleyne has her young daoghter driving his car around town despite that they did not tell agencies in Barbados that my father had passed away.

    They shut down his pension only once that I was on to them . .. . X x x

    They have also tried to threaten me.

    The Prime Minister Mia Mottley says that I shoukd go to the Police, but this whole sham is being protected by Inspector Elliot Bovell, his wife, Judge Laurie-Ann Smith-Bovell, and their friend Judge Cicely P Chase. All of them supporting their buddy Desiree Regis-Alleyne (Desiree’s words not mine)

    They refuse to show me the document that they have up in the Supreme Court Barbados.

    Completely Alienated from my dad . . . X x x

    Like

  • valerie,

    If your story is true then I am very sorry to hear of your plight. I knew Desiree and her brother and husband, Cicely and her husband and father and Laurie-Ann and her brother and mother. We have not had contact for a while but I am surprised to hear of your accusations. I do not know you and so i am unable to comment as I am sure you will understand. You had better have evidence because Cicely Chase-Harding does not make any sport and if you defame her you may be in serious trouble.

    Like

  • @Donna, as I said in my article the courts now to have finally understood totally that weeping mothers must have no weight in these issues. However, a core set of lawyers refuse to embrace mediation and thus need to be sanctioned by courts as children are suffering.

    Lawyers take instruction and give directions. If the AG pushes to get the Support In-Kind amendment to the Maintainance Act you will see only a few mothers refusing to allow kids to go with non-threatening supportive fathers.

    Neither, do I buy the conspiracy theories about our courts? I do know many of the officers and find most to be very professional and very protective of protecting their neutrality as well as independence..

    What I will say however is that mothers are not held accountable for breaches of orders they only get verbal reprimands while men are told to walk with their pj’s if they breach orders.

    I have bent over backward over the last three years and sought to be the peacemaker but not even that worked, The Ministry of Education continues to act ultra vires in denying non-threatening supportive fathers access to School Reports, PTAs, and Form Level Meetings and Sports Day once the mother deliberately omits fathers name from the school registration form. This also something the courts have refused to address.

    A man told me last week he has not seen his kids in 5 years, another told me he was told after 3 years the child is not his and one spoke of a supposedly malicious protection order taken out against him as part of the ploy to keep him away from his kids despite evidence showing he was not the aggressor.

    I will be writing a book on this which will chronicle the beast Parental Alienation Syndrom and its relation to teenage dysfunction.

    Liked by 1 person

  • @ Valerie

    You must help people to help you. As I have said, concentrate on Mr Singh his details: the name of his company, etc. Where was your father’s pension, in Barbados or UK?
    I can help you get the story n a UK paper.

    Like

  • @Kammie Holder “A man told me last week he has not seen his kids in 5 years, another told me he was told after 3 years the child is not his.”

    Men must ensure at birth that the child is theirs, and if the child is believed to be theirs, insisting on and paying for a DNA test, which while fairly expensive will erase any doubt about paternity. Then they must ensure that their names appear on the birth certificates.

    For example the U.S. government insists on DNA testing in certain immigration, passport cases:
    https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal/travel-legal-considerations/us-citizenship/US-Citizenship-DNA-Testing.html

    “One in every 10 men who turns up at the Liguanea offices of the US Embassy [in Jamaica] is told the DNA test proves that he is not the biological father of the child he is filing for…The pervasiveness of misattributed fatherhood in Jamaica is not new. Data from a study conducted in early 2002 by Dr Sonia King in the Pathology Department at the University of the West Indies revealed a rate of one in three. In other words, 33 per cent of all men tested were not the biological father of the child or children in their family.”

    Many people both men and women have multiple partners. I am always amused when men who know that they are habitually multiple partnering seem to believe that “their woman” has just them as the only partner. Men if you have multiple partners, chances are that “your woman” has multiple partners as well. Because when you are “out and about” chances are she is receiving “comfort” from somebody else, a man just like you who also enjoys multiple partnering.

    Anther thing men must do is to observe, before the first act of intercourse, how the woman treats her own family of origin. If she treats her parents badly, if she treats her siblings badly, even if she treats her neighbours colleagues and friends badly, eventually when the first glow of “in-love” fades away she will also treat the man badly. I know that many men are highly visual and that many young women are stunningly beautiful to look at, but beauty is not everything. Observe how a she behaves towards the people she already love, parents etc. and that will give you a very good idea of her character.

    A woman who treats her parents and siblings badly will NOT treat you well.

    Liked by 1 person

  • What is the cost of DNA test?

    Like

  • The last time I was at the QEH, in 2015, i saw posters from entrepreneurs advertising DNA tests for $1,000 BDS, which while more expensive than condoms which last time I checked 3 for $1, is still cheaper than a lifetime of child support if paternity is mis-attributed.

    however one does not need to buy condoms, show up Kadooment Day and other such large events, position yourself correctly and you can receive a years supply of free ones. Store them in a ziploc bag in the freezer and yor are good to go.

    I din now come town.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Many pregnancies from casual sex are by males who cannot by a sweetie.

    Like

  • David by, i tried to buy a brown mint the other day for 10 cents and found that they now cost 15 cents.

    if a fella can’t buy a brown mint he betta get familiar with Ms. Palmer and her sisters, becausin’ raising children int cheap.

    Liked by 1 person

  • You know when boy meets girl what is likely to happen. Let us present realistic positions.

    Like

  • True David. Sometime David if you are poor people who have to cut your own dinner in half and give it to a hungry child who has already eaten but whose hungry eyes are saying more please.

    Parenting requires money, time AND sacrificial love.

    Liked by 1 person

  • @ Mr Kammie Holder

    This article, as are all your articles which prosecute the Rights of Fathers in matters related to child maintenance and visitation, is passionate and quite telling.

    In fact it is awash with issues.

    There are three I will speak to.

    1.Girl children custody or visitation rights

    “He is a man and he gine interfere wid he daughter” is an argument that is fought very successfully against fathers and even if not proactively fought, the court, IN BARBADOS, always assumed that “de father is an incestuous predator just waiting pun he daughter…

    2.contempt of court during child visitation proceedings.

    A young man I knew gave me a story about the wickedness of the perverted court system in Barbados and how, subsequent to being stopped by an officer on High Street, he got locked up, for 3 months, for asking the arresting Inspector, why he was stopped!

    You dont want to go to prison in Barbados IT TAINTS YOUR WORTHINESS AS A GOOD FATHER!

    3.as you speak about the Inequity of the Courts, the Delivery of Injustice and the Legal Aide fiasco, you show up the fallacy and fickleness of the circus for those of us with our heads in the clouds.

    Like

  • De ole man always talking bout Lawyers and systems to police lawyers.

    Mr Austin and others here would wish to stand up for lawyers like Vonda Pile by saying that she is a deacons girl set upon by elitist BUT DE OLE MAN WOULD SAY, she needed locking up because she is an unscrupulous person

    Life teaches us that what we sow we reap IN SPADES!

    The fact is that, a reporting agency IS NEEDED FOR THESE SCUM who prey on the innocent but, when they get caught, cry out for help and assistance WHILE HOLDING THEIR SELF MADE HALOS HIGH.

    The submission by Valerie-SuzetteJean-Marie nee STEELE should have it’s own post BUT DE OLE MAN DOES NOT THINK IT WILL

    WHY?

    read this part

    “…The Prime Minister Mia Mottley says that I shoukd go to the Police, but this whole sham is being protected by Inspector Elliot Bovell, his wife, Judge Laurie-Ann Smith-Bovell, and their friend Judge Cicely P Chase….”

    Imagine that!

    The si called Head of State, Mugabe Mottley BEING APPRISED OF A CRIME IN PROGRESS, tells the person who is the victim “GO TO THE POLICE!”

    Imagine that shy$e but we must not forget that the is Mia Cares! Herself!!!

    But then again we are not talking about biting out a clitoris are we?

    Nuff submissions heah to talk bout, SO LIKKLE TIME!!!

    Like

  • @ the Honourable Blogmaster your assistance please with an item here for Valerie-SuzetteJean-Marie nee STEELE

    Like

  • @ Kammie Holder

    The following words does prove to be the undoing of many a child father (and a few murdered women)

    “…I see you child fadder wid a next woman and she look younger and better dan you.

    And he tekking she to places HE NEVAH TEK YOU…” (change the sex and you got the reason the ex man does come and assault or kill women)

    De ole man has lived nuff years pun de planet AND SOME EVEN HOPING DAT I GO HOME SOON! (and Mugabe even planning ****)

    The major issue with these matters is rejection AND HOW so called adults deal with being told “I IS DONE WID YOUR BACKSIDE!”

    That is really hard for many of us because we think and say that we “invested” too much effort in that significant other AND WE VEX WITH THE WORLD WHEN DEM LEF WE!

    Now, Mr. Holder couple that with children AND YOU GOT A PERFECT STORM!

    “…You lef my ass and now wants to see my children?” Especially if you got a new woman!

    My man, you gine suffer!

    Furdermore Mr. Holder “I gine see to it dat all de money dat you want to spend pun you new woman, I GINE MEK DE COURT TEK FROM YOU FUH MY (NOT OUR) MY CHILDRUN.

    Furdermore, I gine see to it dat you is not gine see dem neider!

    Add that to lawyers who want to satisfy their client’s vendetta AND INCENTIVISE THEIR FEES and you really got a problem!

    And de ole man ent even add the traditional sorry cultural dysfunction of Bajan Family Court to that mix.

    You need a website with podcasts that Chronicle the experiences of different men IN THEIR OWN VOICES!

    Unedited!

    90 seconds Mr Holder, just a compendium of 90 seconds of men’s voices TELLING PEOPLE THE AGONY!

    De ole man know somebody who would do dat for you heheheheh

    But like Donna says, you have to keep campaigning, IN DIFFERENT WAYS, a make the public aware of the problems

    The Podcasts can be branded something like “I, chile faddah, beg…” in a visual envelope that is associated with your campaign Mr. Holder.

    So de top of the mp3 package will say

    I, Chile Faddah, Beg…

    And de bottom part will give the subject matter summary like

    …locked up…

    …garnished…

    …cant see my chile…

    We simply CANNOT CONTINUE DOING THE SAME SHY$E and expecting people’s consciences to drive them to do the right thing!

    Like

  • @ the Honourable Blogmaster your assistance please with an item and suggestion for Mr. Kammie Holder

    Like

  • @Piece the legend. a great idea and will do it soon as soon as I finish my exams.

    @ David, can you help with a page for Non-Threatening Supportive Fathers Pleas

    Like

  • @Kammie

    Submit your ideas.

    Like

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