Submitted by islandgal246
Image courtesy: ©2009 Jupiterimages

A 2003 study by Scott Coltrane, a sociology professor at the University of California, Riverside, linked fathers’ housework to more feelings of warmth and affection in their wives. And a survey of 288 husbands, reported in Neil Chethik’s 2006 book “VoiceMale,” linked a wife’s satisfaction with the division of household duties with her husband’s satisfaction with their sex life.

One husband, Mr. Chethik says in an interview, reported that his wife enjoyed flowers or a candlelit dinner out; but “if he wants to be sure of a romantic evening, he goes for the vacuum cleaner.”

Other research supports the “work hard, play hard” thesis. Janet Hyde, a professor of psychology and women’s studies at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, has found that it doesn’t lead to less intimacy in marriage when wives hold paid jobs.

“Some people are high-energy people, and others are not very high-energy,” she says. Those who like juggling a lot of roles are often energized by the process, she says. “Work hard, play hard” may not work for everybody, but there is certainly a group for whom it does work.”

That usually requires conscious effort. Mary Miller, a marketing executive, says that while she and her husband talk at home in the evening about making time for each other, “we are often too tired once we finish cleaning up the place,” she says. Recently, they have begun planning to reserve down time for themselves, “almost like adding it to the chores,” she says.

Could the study spark a national housework craze? Like a number of spouses I interviewed, Lawrence Lamb is skeptical. At home, the Birmingham, Ala., medical-school professor unloads the dishwasher and puts away laundry while his wife, a teacher, does laundry and cooks. “But that has nothing to do with the sex life,” he says. For him and his wife, career achievement and the energy and attitudes they bring to their relationship provide more of a spark, he says. The bottom line, he adds: “It’s chemistry.”

But another married man, a communications manager attending a panel discussion at which the research was mentioned, quickly announced that he was leaving. “Gotta go,” he said. “I need to run home and put in a load of laundry.

Email sue.shellenbarger@wsj.comsee link

Well I guess many of us who have hired help are lacking in that department. I hate housework so anyone saying that it would improve the sexual appetite really needs a reality check. After many years of matrimony when the animal lust has waned a bit women need more. So men here are some ideas that would add a sparkle to your wife’s eyes.

1……house work is a passion killer for many women. Yes some do enjoy it (house work I mean so get your mind out of the gutter)and I agree it is wonderful to come home to a clean house most of the time.

2……sex does not start in the bedroom for many women nor does it start with a mop and broom unless you are playing the naughty maid scenario.

3……many men have to be taught that if they want great sex from their spouses, that their spouses mental well being as well as their physical being are well looked after.

4……a call to say hello during the day…..a whisper telling her how great and sexy she looks even though she weighs 300 lbs.

5……a spontaneous gift like her favorite flowers, jewelry or perfume and not something for the house or kitchen even though she will welcome them both, especially if it is a gadget she was hoping to get for some time.

6……a surprise dinner at her favorite restaurant or at home with a meal prepared by the spouse who will take this route to make certain that he will score big. And MEN please don’t make it obvious what the expected end results might be, because you will loose big time!

7……..a morning goodbye kiss that will make her head spin and telling her how wonderful she is, will last all day long, as well as give her the incentive to look forward to the evening when you get home.

8……..In order to light a good fire you must first take your time to ignite it using the right fuel and material.

9……..The reality is that many men feel that they are born with all the knowledge on how to please a woman. Many women are afraid to tell them in case their men become offended so what do we get. A man thinking he is King Kong in bed and a wife who will always have a headache.

10……remember women are not made up the same way as men. Women are not the energizer bunny nor are we every ready Freddy. For most women sex happens and it is not planned nor scheduled.

P.S. I am writing this with a very straight face

  1. islandgal246 Avatar

    Hants so you mean that I would have had to pay for my ticket? You worst than Jack Benny!


  2. @Hants

    No hitting on married women on this forum, there are plenty of single ones where you are and now that the spring/ summer weather is here the ugly ducklings will turn into beautiful swans.

    Check out Queens Quay or The Beach boardwalk.


  3. islandgal246

    Told you I have a great imagination. Told you people on BU does tell lies.

    But on a serious note, why would a dynamic liberated accomplished woman like you not expect to pay for your own ticket?


  4. @Hants

    I should amend my last comment, check out the Supermarkets or even Church but the best place is the Theater if there is a play with a Black theme, the sisters love a man who shows some appreciation for Art.


  5. @Sargeant,

    Not interested in real women. Only those “just beyond my imagination” like Islandgal246.

    I got a”real” wife.


  6. @Hants

    I have a “real” one too but that is one of the rites of spring and there is nothing wrong with looking (but not leering), besides they want you to look.

    IG246

    The little I know I picked on the streets of Montreal just enough to get me into trouble, e.g. veux-tu coucher…. Not voulez vous coucher….

  7. islandgal246 Avatar

    Hants when I invite people to dinner I do not expect them to bring their own food. Comprend?


  8. but how many of the guys if have a preference on watching their favourite Sports game would give it up for sex. since the best sex is spontaneous most men would miss out because i hear many ladies complaining that sunday sports take preference over their sex lives and most of the time the female resorts to shopping but men you need to be careful because while you are in your sport cave another man might be buying the lady that beautiful blouses getting ones sex live in order is a PRIORITY. not good to leave off for the next day sexually what should be done today especially when the female sounds the alarm.


  9. @the men
    Putting you on the spot what do you think really turn a man on?


  10. @islandgal246,

    You pay for your own plane ticket. I would pay for dinner and a movie.
    I know how to treat a modern liberated lady.


  11. the male apprehension to talking about sex is telling and then they wonder why woman cheat on them. it seems to be a lock out in their mind theoretically speaking outside a quick glance at another female or a mouthing of what the female looks like or there need to romance her other than that men seem to have a closed lip policy on what makes them tick sexually . for woman it seems to be the opposite as the female semms always want to know


  12. @ac,

    I once went fishing instead of going to a nightclub with a drop dead georgeous lady.

    In my younger days I was a selfish egocentric male and did not want to waste the opportunity presented a few days after some rough sea.
    Ask oob about bay snappers when the “sea stirred up”.

    Some men are driven by “sporting exploits” so sometimes the ladies have to be patient……… or get a deputy.lol

  13. islandgal246 Avatar

    Hants you have got to be family to Jack.


  14. if a female brings up the topic of sex to a man the usual response is “let me show you” which is a down right assault on the woman femininity and an immediate turn off something that most men are unaware of. a simple response can be “are you flirting with me” which most likely she might be but as with female having hidden agendas we save the best for last we scope but does not show our true side but if the man has any insight on how the sexual psyche of the female works he would take it as a hint and possibly ask for her phone number which might lead to better and brighter things .


  15. Now hants so i am not wrong BTW there are a lot of Deputies standing by so you might have to sit by the door with a shot gun to ward off any assualt.


  16. @ac and Islandgal246 are showing their true colours.

    Clearly you are two classy females trying to get men to discuss “feelings” but a lot of females who just want “fun”.

    If you don’t believe me ask an expert like BAFBFP.

  17. Random Thoughts Avatar
    Random Thoughts

    Quoting David at 9:44 a.m. on May 6 “We are back to the question posed then, help us men to tame the beast!”

    Dear David: Why the hell would you want to tame the beast? Free range chicken and eggs tastes best; wild salmon is the best tasting of all.


  18. ac and Islandgal246 Politics and the Election going to dominate BU so your pyschology and relationship classes going to end soon.

    The Test matches starting in England soon so you will not get much attention on BU.


  19. @ HANTS
    “quote” if you don’t believe me ask an expert like BAFBFP

    No bosey he like sheep! he be a sheepexpert!

    Hants men only pretend when it comes to sex there knowledge is limited while a woman’s is timeless . in reference to woman having fun that should be part of a healthy sex life “FUN” expect when it is used to exploit and both sexes does that willingly.


  20. @ hants

    Women don’t get bored we know how to entertain each other . yuh wudda think that the two mwoman would have given up by now like i say again when the cat away the mice would play!

  21. Random Thoughts Avatar
    Random Thoughts

    Hants if islandgal246 won’t step up top the plate maybe I will. Coming your way to attend TIFF 2013, partly to support our Bajan home boy who runs things there.

  22. islandgal246 Avatar

    WOOOOHOOOO…..Random you gine mek Hants run fuh cover now RFLMAO

  23. islandgal246 Avatar

    BTW what is the TIFF? I only know that as a photo file

  24. Random Thoughts Avatar
    Random Thoughts

    http://tiff.net/
    Toronto International Film Festival

    And Barbados’ own Cameron Bailey
    http://tiff.net/thefestival/filmprogramming/programmers/cameron


  25. Wait i stepped out for a minute and wunna fuget lesson no 1 never beg! be sophisticated let the man beg and to add insult to injury the gentleman in question boasted that how he gave up a close sexual encounter to go fishing .isn’t that enough to open your eyes or are we showing signs of desperation.
    when a woman shows her vulnerability to a man there is only one winner and that is the male. shows the male just a peek but not the whole enchilada let him wait it always work out just fine with both being winners.


  26. @Random Thoughts, there is no substituting for islandgal246.

    She is special.

  27. islandgal246 Avatar

    RFL…Lawd RFLMAO ……Hants Random has offered to step into my shoes and you got the gall to play hard to get?

  28. islandgal246 Avatar

    I am sending my emissary Random Thoughts to go and see if there will be anything of value , test the waters and come back to report to me. RFLMAO


  29. serve random right . good going hants ! a smart woman never falls for cheap shots!
    Now island gal getting ready to push she further in the doo-do.

    which leads me to the first step in a relationship which is dating and how the couples should handle their first encounter together. for most it is an awkward occasion as there is a lot of thought and nervousness which clouds the mind as for both couple the expectation is wanting the evening to go well presentation in attire is a must as neither one wants to look overdressed nor under dressed i think there is where both parties start the rating process and not to forget body odour a definite turnoff rather be it by smoking or bad hygiene typical female likes a setting that is not overly romantic but is reassuring and by the end of the evening both couples should have decided whether they want to see each other again

  30. islandgal246 Avatar

    Listen AC I laughing so hard with tears in my eyes and how I miss Bonny comments on this post.


  31. island gal but if bonny was here bonny would be talking to the men about the different positions which brings me to the point of how many men explore different sexual positions with there partner and would allow there partner to have a sex toy if the male fall short in the area of sexual stimulation.

  32. islandgal246 Avatar

    AC I am retiring for the night , you got to remember that some of these menz got arthritis so their flexibility will be limited along with the pilates ball belly. Good night and bien dormi!


  33. look before i go to bed my significant other has already fixed me a bubble bath scattered with roses and a soft setting of candlelight and two glasses of white wine one for him the other for me soon we would kiss the outside world goodnight and would sink into a romantic world of our own surrounded by peace and quiet. alot would have been achieved before nite end but it was all worth it because at the end of the day our failures and success in and out of the bedroom depends on our ability to complete each other it is hard work but very rewarding . to all you men PEACE and LOVE ! good nite


  34. Islandgal246, ac and Random Thoughts should get together and write romance novels.

    David wha you think?


  35. @Hants

    What are you saying, that they have vivid imaginations?


  36. @david& hants

    if only you men could duplicate!


  37. Good morning my captivating audience of “male peekers” i hope your night was exciting and pleasurable as mine.my main focus is of what role does the verbal openess play in making both partners feel seually satisfied.it is a duel and it is most inmportant that sexual issues are thoroughly worKed out ahead of time both couples after being in a relastionship for some time ought to be able to relate their sexual wants openly.not able to share such feelings leaves one or the other feeling dissatisfied .

  38. Eric Jerome D Avatar
    Eric Jerome D

    Good Sex leads to Good Sex. I should know .I am the authority


  39. PROOF THAT WOMEN MUST BE CONTROLLED
    —————————————————–

    t is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman

    Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.

    I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet
    10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

    11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

    12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

    13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

    14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

    15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

    16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

    17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

    18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

    19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

    20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

    21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

    22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

    23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

    24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

    25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

    26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

    27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

    28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

    29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

    30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

    31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates

  40. islandgal246 Avatar

    Porter I know you got your frilly apron on and got the broom and dustpan in your hands and the oven on baking yuh gingerbread woman. I know when she comes out of the oven yuh gine do dixie.


  41. @ Porter

    i have the ultimate baptism of fire fuh you> some whips and chains and a good screwing when you emerge you would have truly been in the presence the holy ghost nand live to tell about it

  42. islandgal246 Avatar

    AC yuh gine kill de man…LOLLL


  43. @island girl
    i could imagine seeing Porter after his first ever sexual encounter. singing Hallejuah chorus and Angels voices ever singing. all the meanwhile asking fuh moreeeeeeeeeeee! Porter after 60 years on this earth can you imagine actually dying and going to heaven even St; Peter would be proud of you. and your trek in the land of milk and honey. Sweet fuh days!


  44. i guess the guys who peek over now and then wonder what the girls are talking about .however only Porter the lonely gladiator dare to trek where angels never dare and he was awarded handsomely.guys be like Porter i know he has no regrets.

    any how before i close my curtains for the night . let me remind you guys it is not what you do! but how you do it! as for me i live by the logic “All work and no PLAY makes JILL a good and i prefer to be NAUGHTY! God nite SWEET DREAMS!


  45. 3ecently heard a man said “Sex was Secondary ” my questionto him is what could be more important than sexwith a woman that you Love men seem to have an unrealistic view of life sex is the most natural instinct that was given to mankind and a role that is required of all to act upon the intimacy of inspiring and the beauty goes beyond all bound ..There is no more beautiful a picture than a couple locked together insexual embrace..


  46. AC girl I have said before and as the song by Beyonce goes “if you really want it you shoulda put a BLP or DLP pon it”

  47. old onion bags Avatar
    old onion bags

    Wait ac…..like you invite me to a sex novel….if my wife reading the blog now at work….Senita honey..tis is the woman ac ..she is just a DLP blogger (that on the way out with this sorry crop of vagabonds that never should have been elected in the first place)…so anything hubby says here without prejudice ok babes ?
    .
    Yes ac girl friend….so what happens when you have a maid to do the washing up , laundry,and cook only on weekends (sometimes)….? Does that mean IslGal, we don’t have enough house work to induce sex.?Man I totally disagree with this one …..I don’t like washing wares, laundry or cleaning up, and we have help to deal with such. I am a great cook (sometimes) and we do spend time in the kitchen on Sundays,,,but to cook …best sex is when there is a change of venuelocation …a trip somewhere to spice up things…Do you share my view or I again from Mars ?


  48. Yes onions i do share youir view on location! ! thats/what it is/all about.and it is also important that the man is capable of finding thexact spot and making full use of it and also remember that prime property don,t come cheap


  49. Whats with it with men . seems like they have given up their sex life for the politican most of whom are male .isn;t that weird that the male species seem to find it more stimulating to engaged in the day to day grinding of oral politics than talking about oral sex. guys whats wrong with you.maybe it is true as one male told me that he” Fears Woman”one would think that a male desire would be feeling a sense of being captivated by the allure of the female but seems like times have changed when men found the thought of being in the presence of a lady appealing. maybe i am wrong. i had this debate with my significant other whose response was that “there are men” and there are men, the only problem is finding out who the real menare Sigh!

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