It was indeed a touching commentary. It would have taken a man to narrate such an account.

It is a vicious cycle that affects both men and woman the same way. there are some women who relive these events even though they had seen their mothers physically abuse in childhood.

At last a man who openly confesses to have practiced abuse on women. The fact that he has come to his senses and no longer does this is encouraging because it is said that ‘once a woman beater always a woman beater’.
Sadly, I know several women in this country who used to get beaten regularly (I say used to because I am no longer in contact with them so do not know if this continues – what I do know is that they are still with their spouses, something I will never understand). There was nothing more appalling than to see their black & blued faces and body parts, their eyes swollen, sometimes even blood coming from a good knock. They came to me and I ‘healed’ them, talked to them, fended off the men who found out where they were hiding, screaming like lunatics and hurling abuse at my door. One brandished a gun once. It boggled my mind when these women returned even when offered a helping hand to get back on their feet.
Studying the situation I found that the statistics prove that having been beaten to a pulp, many women fall prey to the pleadings of remorse, the flowers, the chocolates, the promises of never doing it ever again from the men. I have seen big men cry real tears and say: “It is because I love you so much.” Love my ass!
Now if those who live on this island, or any Caribbean island for that matter think that this only happens among a certain class of people…think again. It happens in all levels of the society from the top to the bottom. In all colours, creeds and religions. And women continue to fall for the bawlings of mercy from the man, continue to feel “the poor dear heart did not mean it” or “I can help him to stop”. What is worse is that many women not only hide this henious act on their bodies, minds and souls but pretend it does not happen at all. Many are scared to leave ’cause they feel it would be worse for them…the men coming after them and and and. The range of problems is wide…from what will the neighbours/the family think to I have to return for the sake of the children or we have no place to go on the woman’s side to “eff you leave I gine kill you” from the man’s. Family and friends sometimes know, watch and say nothing. Remember so many years ago the killing by beating of a woman from ‘high society’? Neighbours had heard the commotion going on for years and did nothing. the woman had been subjected to this abuse for years and stayed. And what happened to the murderer? He got ten years for manslaughter….what message did that incident send?? Ten years and out in eight?? He should have been hung at the top of Broad Street or left to rot tied to a pole for the rest of his life as a show of force. Maybe then men would have taken notice. But no, no, no …we are an intelligent society, we show clemency, human rights blah blah blah and the beat goes on (pun intended!).
As for safe houses for women?? Another sad state of affairs although I have heard of one somewhere in the country but even this has been found out, and these abusive men have gone to the trouble to actually go there creating scenes (again do not even know if this place still exists).
I also understand that there are men in this country who are subjected to this same type of behaviour from their women….all I can say there is something inherently wrong with all of this. I personally abhor any type of abuse whether mental or physical but unfortunately it appears that either/or both are rampant within many homes/situations based on “love”.
Whilst I commend the fact that the abuse of women is being brought to the fore, I find that the advertising of same on CBC to be, to say the least, lacking. First of all most of the times I cannot even understand what these men are saying. Maybe other men do, I ent know. Perhaps a stronger campaign could show women beaten to a pulp and have them strongly condemn the man who did it, even give their name publicly. Maybe posters of men who are known beaters could be pasted on the walls of rumshops, churches, their names boldly shown. They need to be bowing in shame not patting each other’s backs for “keeping she in she place.”
And by the way that horrible incident of a father being told by a headmaster that it was alright to beat his child in front of a class of others…showing the moral decay in our society. Was anything done about this? Have both these men been punished? I have not heard the result of this particular incident…have you BU? What message does this send out to our children eh?
I do not know the answers with regard to putting a halt to this horrible state of affairs…at this point I wonder if many professionals in this field really know the answers themselves. If they do, they have not helped much as the abuse of women continues. Something is so very, very wrong with our society…and my heart goes out to any woman (or man) going through this type of violence in their lives because violence of any kind has no place in love. None whatsoever.

Thanks Charles S Cadogan Sr.

Women are carriers of life and should be embraced and not kept in check like a ferocious animal that needs to be tamed.

I appreciate your representation and the passion you place with your support for the gentle, caring, compassionate, loving, effervescent ‘woman.’

May God Bless you.

Charles S
You marrid? I lookin fa a good husban like you.
mwahhhhhhhhhhhh
Holla back.
smoochhhhhhhhhhh

islandgal
yes, i hay like Poonka donkey. All ova de place but tekkin um easy causen still unda de doc’s care. My surgeon is one a de sexiest men in Bim rite now. He is Dr. Thomas. Girl talk bout tall, handsome n sexyyyyyyyyyyyy. My Gawddddddd.

Na man in gun risk raisin he han at me causen evrybody dat close ta me kno dat i got a few screws slacken off up top. So na man in gun mess wid me nor nun a my nieces fa me ta kno. I is a ‘out-patient’. LOL

Good ta see you too.

@ Zoe
I have read your comment, and I agree on some of the things that you said; But this is what I know for a fact; Many mothers raised their daughters to be more attentive to their partners needs. Many mothers also are against their sons raising their hands against a woman; I was raised by my mother more so than by my father, because he spent most of his time working on ships to support us; I feel that if we continue to make excuses for the wrongs that we as men,and women has done, and do nothing to correct them. Then nothing changes; What good is know what you have done is wrong, but not share it with others to prevent them from doing the same thing? The strange thing about this abuse towards our women, is that when Bajan men has relocated to the USA. That beating goes out the window really quickly; I see part of the problem to be that women are more independent now than they were back then in the earlier years; So men get very frustrated about this, and refuse to accept they no longer has that edge where the women are dependent on them anymore; Yes I was married, and my wife died in May last year. Before we were married, we saw each other for many years which totaled to over 13 years. I have never cussed or argued with her not one day in her life. When I became angry I would leave the house and find things to do to remove my frustrations; She did not like cussing period. During our time I have never heard her cuss not once; When you find a good woman. You have to TREASURE HER, RESPECT HER, BE WILLING TO GO THAT EXTRA MILE THE SAME WAY SHE DOES FOR YOU; I feel that their is good in all of us. But we must learn not to allow our past to continue into our present; I am going to continue to do all that I am able to do to help others to understand the difference; I do not think that GOD wanted any of us to mistreat one another. If you don’t like what he said, or you don’t like what she said, walk away. But make sure that you never go to bed angry with each other; Life is much too short to allow a moment to be wasted through something that you have the power to change; Islandgal246, I hope that all is wonderful now in your relationship? Your girl Bonny Peppa is off the hook. I hope she feels better after here surgery?The name makes her**HOT** LOL,LOL.

Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that!

I find it disheartening that the question of female abuse seems to have not sparked the attention of the so many who furiously write on the BU blogs. Not important enough? Too close to home? Nuff said.

Wow! that song that Tasha P sang :- Let Our Children Play, is very serious, and should be payed attention to; In these what is called modern times. Children do not really play anymore like we did as children, playing physical games. All the modern technology that has created all these different games. Has taken away from our children really playing physically. As a boy, I had to take my place as a child. I couldn’t speak when I was being spoken to. I could even think about being involved in an adult conversation. Now all of this has changed. Children has became adults before they even finish being children. Children are talking back to their parents. Many parents buy their children by showering them with the things they say that they want. But spending time with them isn’t top priority. So many of these same children find themselves in a difficult position, and accept the gifts while seeking the attention else where. Many have became parents at an early age. A 14 year old boy and girl being parents, and their parents are between the ages of 33/40; But since the mother of this young lady is still in her prime of life. She now becomes her daughter’s friend instead of being the mother she should have been in the first place; Plus she don’t want to be called grandmother at her age. Pay very close attention to this picture, and see where a lot of this anger is starting to come from; Bringing a child into this world without giving that child direction and guidance, is like sending a ship out to sea without an anchor; We all have to make better choices in life in order to create better situations; This child has been mentally abused due to the neglect from his or her parents. To hear a parent telling a child that this isn’t the right time for this conversation, can be dangerous. You really don’t have a clue what this child wants to talk about in depth. Then the child is told I have been working all day to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. Not one of us has ever asked to be here. But we are here due to our parents lust,or need for pleasure. We have became the results. To hear a mother say to her child, I could have had an abortion when I got pregnant with you, but I didn’t. This is truly sad, and this child has started having hatred for others who are innocent to the whole situation; Abuse for females and males can start from an early age, or just be pent up inside for a long time . Like the old say, “An accident waiting to happen:” Like I have said before I am doing all that I can to spread the word against abuse towards females and males. This has to change, and it can if we all do our part to help in solving this problem that has been going on now for much too long; Giving your child what it wants, but not what it needs, can start a problem. When that child start becoming a teen, he or she will expect that others are going to do what you as a parent did. I have heard from both sides this statement. “My parents gave me everything I wanted;” But no man or woman is going to be your parent in a relationship. In a relationship it **HAS** to start as **US* never me. If this isn’t the way it is from the start, then for sure problems are going to arise; When a man or a woman feel that their are being used. Their will be problems that can become too big to talk about, so violence during that period seems to be the answer. This is in the mind of the couple; I feel that we must teach our children how to **RESPECT** the rights of other, the property of others, the freedom to express verbally without having to cuss, or **DISRESPECT** one another; But also be sure to know the company that your children is keeping. As young men and women, many of us has, and can be easily influenced by others. Teach our children to be **LEADERS AND NOT FOLLOWERS**; This Abuse starts from right at home, and is taken to the streets. Please don’t get me wrong. I hope you don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that you are beating you children. But if your children see, or hear abuse in the home that could be the starting point; If you don’t have abuse in your home. Then the abuse can start through the child trying to fit into a certain group of other children. We as human-beings are all in this together, and we have to HELP ONE ANOTHER FIGHT THIS ABUSE PROBLEM;